For those who have children this age, this is not
funny.
>> For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
>> For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
>>
>> The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin,
Texas:...(She
>> must have had some baaad children)
>>
>> Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):
>>
>> 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
>> house 4 inches deep.
>>
>> 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
>> roller blades, they can ignite.
>>
>> 3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
>> restaurant.
>>
>> 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
>> strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
>> Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can,
>> to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
>>
>> 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
>> using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
>> times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long
>> way.
>>
>> 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball
>> hit by a ceiling fan.
>>
>> 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already
>> too late.
>>
>> 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
>>
>> 9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though
>> 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
>>
>> 10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
>> old.
>>
>> 11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
>>
>> 12. Super glue is forever.
>>
>> 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
>> can't walk on water.
>>
>> 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
>>
>> 15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials
>> show they do.
>>
>> 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
>>
>> 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
>>
>> 18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
>>
>> 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do
>> not like ovens.
>>
>> 20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
>>
>> 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
>> dizzy.
>>
>> 22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
>>
>> 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
>>
>> 24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.