Quotes       

  

quote n. To repeat the exact words of; give words or passages from. (The World Book Dictionary)

   Daisy says "Sometimes humans can get it right, but boy, are they sometimes wrong! Never mind, I'll set you all in the right direction."

"Let sleeping dogs lie"  - unknown

Daisy says: "True, true, true!"

 

"A dog may bark, but his legs will never grow longer."  - unknown

Daisy says: "Believe me, this is true. I've tried it."

 

"Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that a little child cannot do much harm one way or another."     - Robert Benchley (1189-1945)

Daisy says: "This is plain silly. Dachshunds have the perfect body shape."

 

"I'd rather have an inch of dog than miles of pedigree."  - Dana Burnett

Daisy says:"Just think how many miles of pedigree a dachshund is worth."

 

"There is only one smartest dog in the world, and every boy has it."  - anonymous

Daisy says: "How can this be right? I'm the smartest dog in the world and I don't belong to every boy."

"All you dachsies and other doggies must have something to say about one of the quotes below. Email me with your name, breed and comment and tell me which quote you'd like me to attach your comment to."

"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . . suggest that he wear a tail." - Fran Lebowitz

"You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'" - Dave Barry

"Man is an animal that makes bargains; no other animal does this - one dog does not change a bone with another." - Adam Smith

"If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either." - Unknown

"Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well." - Bonnie Wilcox 'Old Dogs, Old Friends'

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies." - Gene Hill

"The more people I meet the more I like my dog." - Unknown

"In dog years I'm dead." - Unknown

"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog." - Edward Hoagland

"I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn't excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother." - Bonnie Schacter, Founder of the Single Pet Owner's Society Singles Group

"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace." - Milan Kundera

"I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world." - Samuel Johnson

"We have a theory that cats are planning to take over the world, just try to look them straight in the eye....yup, they're hiding something!" - Dog Fancy

Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because of all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll on a dead fish." - James Gorman

"When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long." - Unknown

"The biggest dog has been a pup." - Joaquin Miller, US poet

"There are only two rules. One is E. M. Forster's guide to Alexandria; the best way to know Alexandria is to wander aimlessly. The second is from the Psalms; grin like a dog and run about through the city." - Jan Morris, English writer, journalist

"The dog is a yes-animal. Very popular with people who can't afford a yes man." - Robertson Davies, Canadian author

No matter how little money and how few possesions you own, having a dog makes you rich." - Louis Sabin

"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of ther universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made." - Roger Caras

"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!" - Dr. Tom Cat

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." - Ben Williams

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." - Edward Abbey

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." - Christopher Morley

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." - Andrew A. Rooney

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." - Unknown

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." - Mark Twain

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." - Smiley Blanton

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck

"When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news." - Charles Anderson Dana, 'What is News?', The New York Sun 1882

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." - Dave Barry

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives." - Sue Murphy

"I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it." - Abraham Lincoln

"No Matter how little money and how few possessions, you own, having a dog makes you rich." - Louis Sabin

"My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!" - Craig Shoemaker

"Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends." - Alexander Pope

"I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons." - Will Rogers

"The little furry buggers are just deep, deep wells you throw all your emotions into." - Bruce Schimmel

"If you don't mind throwing tennis balls for eternity, I do have an opening in doggie heaven."  - Frank and Ernest comic strip, an angel at St. Peter's gate, to a man seeking admittance

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.." - Henry Wheeler Shaw

"Every dog must have his day." - Jonathan Swift

"They say a reasonable amount 'o fleas is good fer a dog -- keeps him from broodin' over bein' a dog, mebbe." - Edward Westcott (1846 - 1898) US novelist, banker

"There are times when even the best manager is like the little boy with the big dog." waiting to see where the dog wants to go so he can take him there. - Lee Iacocca, US auto business executive

"You learn in this business: It you want a friend, get a dog." - Carl Icahn, US auto business executive

"A barking dog is often more useful than a sleeping lion." - Washington Irving, (1783 - 1859) US short-story writer, essayist

"I like dogs better [than people]. They give you unconditional love. They either lick your face or bite you, but you always know where they're coming from. With people, you never know which ones will bite. The difference between dogs and men is that you know where dogs sleep at night." - Greg Louganis

"If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around." - cowboy wisdom

"When the Man waked up he said, 'What is Wild Dog doing here?' And the Woman said, 'His name is not Wild Dog any more, but the First Friend, because he will be our friend for always and always and always.'" - Rudyard Kipling

"My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected with the concept of what I "should" be doing." - Lonzo Idolswine

"I used to look at [my dog] Smokey and think, 'If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking,' and he'd look at me like he was saying, 'If you were a little smarter, I wouldn't have to.'" - Fred Jungclaus

"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." - Edward Abbey

"Life is like a dog sled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes." - Lewis Grizzar

"You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us." - Robert Louis Stevenson

"Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job." - Franklin P. Jones

"The disposition of noble dogs is to be gentle with people they know and the opposite with those they don't know...How, then, can the dog be anything other than a lover of learning since it defines what's its own and what's alien." - Plato

"Politics are not my concern... they impressed me as a dog's life without a dog's decencies." - Rudyard Kipling

"If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog." - George Bernard Shaw

"No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has." - Will Rogers

"America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags it's tail it knocks over a chair." - Arnold Toynbee

"The old saw about old dogs and new tricks only applies to certain people." - Daniel Pinkwater

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." - Rita Rudner

"A dog is not almost-human, and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such." - John Holmes

"Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun!" - Groucho Marx

"In the world which we know, among the different and primitive geniuses that preside over the evolution of the several species, there exists not one, excepting that of the dog, that ever gave a thought to the presence of man." - Maurice Maeterlinck 'Our Friend, The Dog'

"Recollect that the Almighty, who gave the dog to be companion of our pleasures and our toils, hath invested him with a nature noble and incapable of deceit." - Sir Walter Scott

"The dog is man's best friend.He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath." - Ogden Nash

"The nose of the Bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go." - Winston Churchill

"If you can't decide between a Shepherd, a Setter or a Poodle, get them all ... adopt a mutt!" - ASPCA

"A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog." - Jack London

"A pekingeese is not a pet dog; he is an undersized lion." - A.A. Milne

"There's not much you can do with a terrier, ma'am." - Los Angeles dog trainer

"If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people." - Karel Capek

"Animals are such agreeable friends--they ask no questions; they pass no criticisms." - George Eliot

"My little dog---a heartbeat at my feet." - Edith Wharton

"Children and dogs are as necessary to the welfare of the country as Wall Street and the railroads." - Harry S. Truman

"The world was conquered through the understanding of dogs; the world exists through the understanding of dogs." - Nietzche

"All knowledge, the totality of all questions and all answers is contained in the dog." - Kafka

"Jesse has a new dog. You may have noticed that his former pets have been peculiarly unfortunate. When this dog dies every employee in the White House will be at once discharged." - Ulysses Grant to White house staff when his son got a Newfoundland pup, and after others of his dogs had died mysteriously

"The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog. . . .He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer; he will lick the wounds and sores that come in encounter with the roughness of the world. . . .When all other friends desert, he remains." - George G. Vest

"Never stand between a dog and the hydrant." - John Peers

"I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog." - Wendy Liebman

"Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd whimper and tug at their sleeves, and they'd always waste precious minutes saying things: "Do you think something's wrong? Do you think she wants us to follow her? What is it, girl?", etc., as if this had never happened before, instead of every week. What with all the time these people spent pinned under the tractor, I don't see how they managed to grow any crops whatsoever. They probably got by on federal crop supports, which Lassie filed the applications for." - Dave Barry

"Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." - Ann Landers

"Study hard, and you might grow up to be President. But let's face it: Even then, you'll never make as much money as your dog." - George Bush, US 41st president Speech, 1992, to graduates after learning Millie, his dog, made $889,176 in book royalties.

You do not own a dog, the dog owns you." - Unknown

"The slowest barker is the surest biter." - Unknown

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." - Aldous Huxley

"If you wish the dog to follow you, feed him." - Unknown

"It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks." - Unknown

"Every dog has his day -- but the nights are reserved for the cats." - Unknown

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." - Robert Benchley

"What dogs? These are my children, little people with fur who make my heart open a little wider." - Oprah Winfrey

"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson

"A piece of grass a day keeps the vet away" - Unknown Dog

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." - James Thurber

"The difference between cats and dogs is, dogs come when they are called, cats take a message and get back to you." - Unknown

"The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too." - Samuel Butler

"Rambunctious, rumbustious, delinquent dogs become angelic when sitting." - Dr. Ian Dunbar

"All trees have bark. All dogs bark. Therefore, all dogs are trees. The fallacy of barking up the wrong tree." - Unknown

Whoever said "let sleeping dogs lie" didn't sleep with dogs. - Unknown

"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate in their object-relations."- Sigmund Freud

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." - Roger Caras

"...Pomeranians speak only to Poodles and Poodles speak only to God." - Charles Kuralt on "48 Hours"

"I can train any dog in five minutes. It's training the owner that takes longer." - Barbara Woodhouse

"A dog wags its tail with its heart" - Martin Buxbaum

"A hungry dog hunts best." - Lee Trevino, US golfer

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx.

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." - Josh Billings

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." - Holbrook Jackson

"One reason a dog is such a lovable creature is his tail wags instead of his tongue." - Unknown

"I am I because my little dog knows me" - Gertrude Stein

"Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet." - Colette

"My goal in life is to become as wonderful as my dog thinks I am." - Toby & Eileen Green

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion" - Unknown

"Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in." - Mark Twain

"A really companionable and indispensable dog is an accident of nature. You can't get it by breeding for it, and you can't buy it with money. It just happens along." - E.B. White, The Care and Training of a Dog

"Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on." - Colette

"I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better." - George Bird Evans, "Troubles with Bird Dogs"

"Even the tiniest Poodle or Chihuahua is still a wolf at heart." - Dorothy Hinshaw Patent, Dogs: The Wolf Within

"It looks like a miniature hippopotamus with badly-fitting panty hose all over." - Roger Caras about the Chinese Shar-pei

"If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one." - Andy Rooney

"They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation." - Jerome K. Jerome

"When a dog wags her tail and barks at the same time, how do you know which end to believe?" - Anonymous

"Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland." - Josh Billings

"What kind of life a dog . . . acquires. I have sometimes tried to imagine by kneeling or lying full length on the ground and looking up. The world then becomes strangely incomplete; one sees little but legs." - E.V. Lucas

"You may have a dog that won't sit up, roll over or even cook breakfast, not because she's too stupid to learn how but because she's too smart to bother." - Rick Horowitz, Chicago Tribune

"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives." - Rita Rudner

"What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer." - Leo Rosten

"Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs." - Martha Scott

"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's." - Mark Twain, Letter to W. D. Howells, 4/2/1899

"I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now." - Steven Wright

" I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas." - * DEEP THOUGHTS * by Jack Handy

"The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic." - Henry Ward Beecher

"Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs." - Christopher Hampton

"When a dog runs at you, whistle for him." - Henry David Thoreau

"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive." - Gilda Radner, (1946 - 1989) US actress

"Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement." - Snoopy

"How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg." - Abraham Lincoln

"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant." - Unknown

"I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance -- a sharp, vindictive glance." - James Thurber

"How's it going Mr. Peterson?" - Woody "It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing milk bone underwear." - Norm from Cheers

"Why not be oneself? That is the whole secret of a successful appearance. If one is a greyhound, why try to look like a Pekingese?" - Edith Sitwell, Recalled on her death 9 Dec 64

"Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs." - John Osborne, Time 31 Oct 77

"A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas." - H L Mencken, Quoted by Geoffrey H Hartman Easy Pieces Columbia University 85

"This isn't like naming your dog Spot." - Richard Melville, Secretary, International Commission on Zoological Nomenclature, On scientific Latin names for plants and animals, Wall Street Journal 13 Jul 84

"First you learn a new language, profanity; and second you learn not to discipline your dogs when you're mad, and that's most of the time when you're training dogs." - Lou Schultz, trainer of Alaskan Huskies

Graphics for this page came from: