I do not feel real, I feel trapped in a body that is not mine.
I do not feel sad or sorry for myself, I feel sad for everything that exists around my being.
I feel sorry for the stars, the tree's the moon and all the Lady's creations.
"A sad, thoughtful state of mind"-Melancholy.

I fear what I am, what I was, and what I will become.
I fear living and hurting, though I fear dying and loosing all that I have worked to achieve.
I fear love, for it weakens, but hate for its power and corruption.
I have felt sad for so long I can not survive without it.
Happiness feels strange and unnatural.
I need the sorrow, I need the pain and the hurt, it helps make me feel real, but in the end it will kill me. I know it will.
It feels dark inside my head. A swirling, hatful, dark mist engulfs my mind, warping and twisting it.
It feels like there is something lurking within me, slowly eating away at my sanity, very slowly tearing me apart.
Destroying who I am. Breaking me.

I'm fed up with everything, I can not, will not cope. I'm fed up with school, society and the people that exists within it.
I want to sleep forever, then there will be only me, and my thoughts for company.
I want to escape, I want to return. I can't handle all this anymore.
I'm locked in a place people say is my "home", though it feels wrong, it looks wrong, it even smells wrong.
The music understands, it sings my thoughts, it comforts me. Though it is not my own.
My only love I will one day loose, the thought is almost to painful to bare.
Without him, I would be nothing, he is my Angel, he is all that keeps me strong.
Though one day he will be lost, I know that I will find him again.
The initial departure will hurt more than death, for death is nothing in comparison to losing love.