A Cure For Insomnia

The Mummy Returns Dir: Stephen Sommers Starring Brendan Fraser Rachel Weisz Arnold Vooslo Patricia Velasquez 2001 PG-13, 120 m RATING: 3 out of 10

SEARCHING FOR A STORY - Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz reprise their roles as two adventurous but illogical Egyptologists in the loud, CGI ridden sequel to their craptacular 1999 outing.

Had it not been for my anger and annoyance with the constant use of computer graphics that often looked subpar and ridiculous, The Mummy Returns would have put me into a deep sleep for a couple thousand years. There are so many poor aspects of the film, but to start, notice that in my cast list to the left,  I have not mentioned The Rock as a star.  That's because he has a 5-minute cameo (and 5 minutes is stretching it) in the beginning and then returns in the last 10 minutes of the movie as a CGI monstrosity that looks like the latest Gameboy WWF Raw! installment.  Trailers would have us believe he is a major part of the film, and he is: he will get lots of ignorant moviegoers to shell out the bucks. Mummy brings back the characters from the previous flick for more mindless action along with an annoying child.  They travel through Egypt and London attempting to stop the evil mummy Imhotep from taking over the world (I think) as well as the Scorpion King from attempting to do the same (I think).  Director Stephen Sommers is congratulated for giving us the first special-effects-ridden, mindnumbing, corny, deafening Hollywood monstrosities of the summer.   While Mummy Returns certainly contains more action than its predecessor, it also has the same corny one-liners, stupid, illogical characters, muted violence, and shameless visuals from the first.  It forgets to do what a worthwhile movie does: give us a good story and memorable characters.  The Mummy Returns is not only the same clumsy retread that The Mummy was, it's also a testament to Hollywood's extraneous dependence on budget and CGI to characters and screenwriting.  And judging from the millions it'll rake in, it's also a sad commentary on audiences' intelligence.

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