12 step program for recovering Dashboard Confessional addicts
1 Admit that you were powerless to overcome the addiction to Dashboard Confessional and that it has changed your life, and how you view the world.
2 Believe that you can be saved, and will be whole again, without earphones as a permanent extension.
3 Affirm that you now seek outside help to attain a healthy audio relationship. Be dedicated.
4 Admit to yourself that it is unhealthy to listen solely to the unplugged Cd over and over again for more than forty-eight hours straight.
5 Slowly wain yourself off of these CDs, and sprinkle in other bands. Also, get a hobby that does not involve making doodling C .C repeatedly.
6 Also be sure to call your local radio station only once a day, and your non-local radio stations only once a week, when requesting Dashboard Confessional.
7 Make a list of all the things about the music that you love, and also circle those qualities that you find in yourself.
8 Sit down and list off all those whom you have subjected to Dashboard Confessional. Circle the names of those who did not like it, and those who made fun Of Chris. Prepare to forgive and forget.
9 Make amends with these people without calling their music Satanic, or hurting them. If the latter is impossible, please skip this step and crawl off in some dark corner. No one will ever truly understand you, or your connection with Chris.. So why try and explain?
10 Keep track of how many times you reference to Dashboard daily. Limit yourself to one less every day, until you only reference twenty times per day. This includes lyrics, random facts, and quotations.
11 Stop dumping guys because they cannot fulfill your inner desires like Chris can. And for god sakes stop sending Brad emails about how fucking hot Chris is.... about how his smouldering eyes cut right into you, and how you dream, and pray that he will realize how madly in love he is with you, will knock on your door and wrap those two tattoo clad arms around you... .cough... umm....
12 Find others like yourself and help them overcome their addiction to D. C As well. Go get yourself a beer, and a nice slap on the back. Youre now a recovered addict
