Amanda took one look at the four men before her, and all her nerve went directly down the proverbial crapper.
The oldest had lost interest with whatever Amanda was preparing to announce and was lazily shuffling an aged deck of dirty playing cards for yet another round of one-handed solitaire. The youngest had spent the past fifteen minutes in Duncan's Laz-E-Boy, attempting to see how far backwards he could lean it before it tipped over. The odd man out was whistling a fairly jazzed-up rendition of "Stayin' Alive", a song Amanda never would have guessed he knew.
And the Scot...well, he'd been watching her pace, pause as if she were going to speak, and then pace again for a while now.
"Do you think you could hurry this up?", the old man muttered. "I was supposed to spend the afternoon with the harem."
"At least you've go something to do," Richie argued for argument's sake. "I'm glad to be here. Do you know what my plans are for tonight? Plopping down in front of the TV to watch the Action Pack, pig out on microwave popcorn, and finish off a liter of Cherokee Red."
Joe groaned and said, "Listen, I've got a business to run. Do you mind, Amanda?"
Frowning, Amanda glared at Duncan, just waiting for him to spew some lame excuse. The Scot tried to look innocent for a split second, but to no avail, as four pairs of eyes watched him. "Oh, fine! I admit it . . . I had plans for tonight! But, I mean, tell me the God's honest truth---"
"I'm pregnant."
"---wouldn't you rather watch a bunch of Baywatch impersonators wrestle in Jell---YOU'RE WHAT?"
The whole room went silent as Amanda shrugged in defeat and stated, "I'm kinda . . . um, pregnant."
On the other side of the room, Richie and his Laz-E-Boy finally toppled over in a resounding crash. Nobody seemed to notice.
The four men were completely speechless, until Joe muttered, "That's not possible."
"But I am."
"But you can't be."
"But I am!"
"But you can't be!"
"But I am!"
Rising to his feet, Methos stood between the two. "Would you two quit this show of maturity, huh?" Then, after Joe and Amanda settled down, Methos whirled to face Amanda. "But you can't be!"
"Methos!" Amanda rolled her brown eyes and crossed her arms. "I never should have told you guys. I should have just kept it my little secret. Of course, you probably would hve gotten some idea when my beer gut started dangling over my miniskirt..."
Curious, Amanda peered over at Duncan, who had yet to say anything. Of course, considering that anything he said would probably have come out in a deranged sputter and that his student was grasping onto his black leather couch with his grubby little hands, maybe his blubbering could wait. When Richie finally scrambled at least to his knees, he looked over at Amanda and asked, "Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure!" she yelped. "One stick turned blue, one had a plus sign, and the other had this little pink bunny rabbit pop up on it!"
"You took three tests?!" Joe exclaimed in disbelief.
Pouting like a small child, Amanda mumbled, "Well, somebody should have used protection."
"I didn't think I had to!", four voices cried at once. Glancing around in utter confusion, the quartet of men stared gaping at one another.
Amanda rolled her eyes. "See, now, that's another problem..."
A chorus of "You didn't!", "How could you?", and "What the hell?!" sprang up.
Stunned, Duncan inquired, "Exactly when did this take place?"
"Remember a month ago, when all you guys came over here to play cards?" she snapped. "You all had too much Goldschlager and went over to my place to soap my car. Now you see what happens when you get drunk on poker night?"
Methos groaned as his head drooped into his cupped hands. "Okay, that was a pun I really didn't need to hear."
Standing up unsteadily, Joe headed towards the elevator. "I could use a drink. Anyone else?" The others followed in hot pursuit.
As soon as the four were gone, Amanda clasped her hands behind her back and began to hum a song as she sauntered towards Mac's desk in victory. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, she reached out and picked up Duncan's desk calendar.
April 1.
"Gotcha," she said with a sly smile. "That's what you guys get for soaping my car." Looking up at herself in the miror on the wall, she said to herself, "Should I let them suffer for a while?" Pause. "Yeah, I think I'll let 'em sweat it out a bit."
Placing the calendar down on the desk, the female Immortal noted a gold card sticking out from under Mac's checkbook. "Ooo," she whispered slyly, "If I'm going to have a baby, I'm going to need a whole new wardrobe..."