The Bonus Round
HOST: Welcome back to our last day of Hollywood Squares Star Wars style.
Crowd cheers.
HOST: Okay Jim you won now here is the bonus round. It's very easy. We already heard what the jedi know now we will see how much you know about them. For every question you get right we take away a bad key. Then arfter your done you pick a key and you could win a trip to Coruscant. Wow do I feel sorry for you.
Crowd cheers again.
HOST: (looking up at the surprisingly calm jedi and droids and Han) Okay, the clock starts when you pick your first jedi.
JIM: Mace Windu.
HOST: Was once the apprentice of Yoda.
JIM: Agree.
HOST: Right.
JIM: Qui-Gon
HOST: At the age of 12 he was considered the most disobedient initiate at the temple.
JIM: Agree.
QUI-GON: You agree?! That definitely was not me. It was Mace.
MACE: What?! I think not my veryOLD friend.
QUI-GON: Who are you calling old BALDY!?
MACE: BALDY?!
OBI-WAN: Yeah, you probably shave your head so no one can see the gray!
Qui-Gon laughs.
HOST: (raising his voice)Wrong.
QUI-GON: See? I told you so.
DOOKU: Qui-Gon, didn't I raise you right. You shouldn't talk to a council member that way.
MAUL: Like you were any better.
DOOKU: I only disobeyed the council once.
VADER: Oh yeah, turning to the dark side isn't a huge thing or any thing.
HOST: STOP! Jim hurry and pick your next person.
JIM: Obi-Wan
HOST: Was once caught in a bar by Ki-Adi-Mundi
JIM: Agree.
HOST: Right.
QUI-GON: YOU WERE WHAT!?
OBI-WAN: (Glares at the host)
HAN: Oh come off it Qui. The boy is only a boy.
QUI-GON: Shut up Han.
HAN: Now just wait a minute old man.
MACE: See? I told you that you're old.
QUI-GON: If I'm old Dooku must be a fossil.
DOOKU: The dark side makes me look younger then I am.
MAUL: Yeah the dark side rules!
VADER: (mumbles to himself) yeah whatever.
JIM: Dooku
HOST: What? Oh, right. Dooku is Luke Skywalker's father.
JIM: Disagree.
HOST: Right.
JIM: Yoda
HOST: Yoda is over 1,000 years old.
YODA: What?
JIM: Disagree.
HOST: Right.
YODA: Over 1,000 years old I am not!
JIM: Vader.
HOST: Is Padme Amidala's husband.
JIM: Disagree.
HOST: Wrong.
VADER: Why wouldn't she be my wife?! (fingers his lightsaber)
JIM: Well, ummm. . . . .
MACE: She was hott!
R2D2: beep beeeeep!
C3PO: No one asked for your opinion.
VADER: Yeah shut up you bucket!
R2D2: tweet
C3PO: you shouldn't make fun of R2 that way.
VADER: Shut up 3PO!
C3PO: Oh my!
OBI-WAN: Yeah Padme was hott.
QUI-GON: Padawan!
OBI-WAN: Well she was.
HOST: ANYWAY!
everyone quiets down.
JIM: Han
HOST: Married Mara Jade
JIM: Disagree.
HOST: right.
VADER: Haha ha who do you end up marrying? Your momma?
HAN: (grins) no. Your daughter
VADER: WHAT?! I DON'T WANT MY DAUGHTER MARRYING YOU!
HAN: To bad, so sad, your dad.
VADER: Your not my daddy!
Dooku: Daddy?
VADER: I mean father.
MAUL: daddy's boy!
VADER: SHUT UP MAUL!
MAUL: ooooo big scary sith!
VADER: I'm warning you!
MAUL: well at least I can kill a powerful jedi. You kill the ones who don't matter.
VADER: What are you talking about I kill Obi-Wan!
QUI-GON: WHAT?!
MAUL: Oh yeah? well I kill Qui-Gon!
OBI-WAN: WHAT?!
MACE: Like master, like apprentice.
QUI AND OBI: Shut up!
HOST: Next.
JIM: Maul.
HOST: Was trained by the evil emperor.
JIM: Agree.
HOST: Right
JIM: C3PO and R2D2
HOST: C3PO was created by Anakin Skywalker aka Darth Vader.
JIM: Agree.
HOST: Right.
VADER: Oh yeah now I remember.
C3PO: Oh master I was looking all over for you!
R2D2: beep beep boop.
VADER: Hmmmm, come with me to the dark side 3PO.
C3PO: Okay.
C3PO goes to the dark side.
R2D2: beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
C3PO: Oh shut up! (destroys r2d2)
crowd gasps.
HOST: (not really caring anymore) Okay lets go over to the vault.
HOST: you got 5 right.
The computer takes away 5 of the 9 keys.
JIM: I'll pick this one.
HOST: Umm, that one was removed.
JIM: Please!!!!!
HOST: I don't blame you. But that's not the rules.
Reluctantly Jim picks one and puts it in the safe. He turns the key.
HOST: You won.
JIM: (cursing)
HOST: Well that's all the time we have for this addition of Hollywood Squares. Thank God. See you next week on Hollywood Squares Star Wars Style part 2... . . . wait part 2!!!!! I QUIT!
~END~