Nepal 1999 - (the 2nd Visit)

Legless Custard

Wednesday, 03 Nov 1999

I decided I can't come to Nepal twice and not go for a walk in the Himalayas. So I bought several kilograms of chocolate and figured I could sit at the start of the trek and keep eating until I achieved an equilibrium at which my wobbly legs would have enough energy carry the remaining chocolate. The Lang tang trek started with a bus ride to out do all my worst travel experiences so far. In fact I was close to risking a leap from the roof of the moving bus on several occasions and starting the trek early. Inside was impossible with a Nepali woman selectively throwing up on tourists and a Tibetan man putting his elbow in my balls to ensure he had enough space while I hung precariously from the roof bars over the people in the back seat, forearms burning, wondering how long before they failed me. So after a moving exit to outside on top of the roof where I established a place of relative comfort, I discovered this was to be short lived as more and more people climbed on every time the bus slowed to less then 20 km/hr. 

The roof was reduced to a choice of standing and ducking desperately to avoid power-lines and trees, or sit in a tiny space and have large sacks of rice piled on top of you, otherwise perch yourself right on the edge and hang on to the steel railing till your hand goes numb (then just hope you are still hanging on) to prevent you plummeting hundreds of feet down rocky precipices. I suffered the latter of these fates which was accompanied by several bouts of vertigo as the bus swayed and tilted right out over sheer drop-offs along the edge of a road plagued by landslides and wash-outs. Meantime, Tim had been pushed off the back of the roof completely but had found a relatively secure spot standing on the rear bumper, although he was swallowing enough dust to become a human brick production plant by the next morning.

A Sadu in Kathmandu

Our bad start over and the worst we had to suffer after that was the guest house touts who would appear from nowhere and follow like bad smells. They were short lived and soon gave way to uplifting views of snowy Himalayan peaks and a steep cascading glacial river. The character of the forest changed abruptly with altitude, which for most of the trek also changed abruptly. After a few days we'd climbed to 3900m from where I ditched some non-essential items, swapped a wooly hat for a pair of $2 sunglasses and ventured into the thin air and snow at 4774m (nearly 16,000 ft). Higher than all of New Zealand.

Up at Kyanjin Gompa I bought 2kg of Yak cheese from the factory, which I traded for accommodation and meals on my way back down the valley. Tim and I had little trouble in choosing to take a second high altitude pass (Lauribina pass) back to the Kathmandu valley in favour of the bus ride. This proved to be infinitely rewarding with spectacular panoramic views, alpine lakes, prayer flags in high snowy places, alpine flowers, and virgin Rhododendron and Fir tree forests. Just over the pass and back below the snow line, Nepal chucked its worst at us with four hours of pelting hail. It subsided as quickly as it appeared and the last two hours of the day was pleasant walking across ancient landslides slowly being hidden by thick green mosses and a Rhododendron forest. Black, white and grey lichens make fascinating and beautiful patterns on the more exposed rocks. It all seemed very enchanted and helped us forget our cold and aching bodies. That night we spent in a small smoky mud cottage proprieted by another wonderfully hospitable Tibetan family.

We were picking up the pace now to ensure we were out in time for NZ playing in the Rugby world cup final…. Only to be disappointed! Bit of a pity about that but after all it is only a game. I tried to tell Tim this but he didn't quite see it that way. Tim is a Kiwi bloke I met on a bus, a good bloke, and we're thinking about opening a business called 'Volkof and Custard Speculation Consultants' with our primary field of expertise being 'Navigation In the Himalayas'. We can see a large market potential contained with in Nepal's trekking industry but we are a little concerned about the possible lack of returning business.

The last day and my knees had all but given up but with the help of 800mg of Vitamin I (Ibuprofen) they managed to carry my pack and I up steep hills and down even steeper ones with surprising speed for nearly eight hours without a break to finish our eleven days of trekking. Of course I'm paying the price now, I can hardly walk.

Back in Kathmandu and somehow Tim managed to talk me into shaving two weeks worth of stubble into something vaguely reminiscent of Hulk Holgan with sideburns that point out towards the corners of my mouth and a thin handlebar moustache that drops all the way down my chin. I'll give it about two days.

It would seem Nepali's all start their day about one hour before light breaks with a wrenching guttural cough. The older they get the more practiced they become at this art, as is being demonstrated by an old man outside my window just now (I'm writing this by candle light) who is presently purging I think from the region of his appendix. If he just left whatever it was down there it would probably find an easier way out sooner or later. The other common sound this time of the morning is roosters who all run around free range in peoples gardens until one day the people get hungry and belt them over the head with a stick or the sharp end of a Ghurkha knife. Claudia has just informed me that there is a special sound that goes with the stick hitting the chickens head, having just witnessed is yesterday. I’m vege now so I can say this with a clear conscience.

We also saw croc’s, huge birds with big yellow beaks, tiger footprints and tiger shit, and lots of other little animals and brightly coloured bugs. We learnt how catfish are caught using live frog bait and we rode on a big elephant who got a bit of a hard-on while we were riding him. Claudia found this a bit frustrating as she couldn’t see it from on top of the beast and this, apparently, was the one thing she was secretly hoping to see during our little jungle excursion. However, Claudia did get to wash the elephant, which involved trying to stay standing on top of it as it rolled around in the river and sprayed lots of water about with its trunk. Pretty cool even just to watch.

The Nepali people are some of the friendliest I've met in the world. They always say hi (namaste) no matter how much of a silly tourist you look, they’re very welcoming are most often smiling. They love to drink tea and talk, to make friends and then to sell things to their new friends. They give you their babies to amuse (or to amuse you) while you are in their restaurants and they always go to lengths to try to make you feel welcome. Most of them share my appreciation of flowers and gardens and as such they often ornament their doorways and their holy cows with a garland of orange and yellow flowers. A nice way to add colour to brown cities and green hills.

I've have left a lot of friends in Nepal but have taken with me a lot of good memories.

Back to the rivers now. Looking forward to seeing everyone back home soon.

Love and custard

Dave