8 Sep 1998
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Work
has got a bit busier now but grinding through the dull monotony of routine
seems such an unfulfilling application of effort. This has been a soul
destroying time for me. The tedium is devastating and I have learnt nearly
nothing. My brain is screaming out for intellectual liberation from the
confines of black shit and white lines. The sanity of people like me is
placed in serious jeopardy by the generations of intellectual digress that
dominates the road construction industry. |
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After just two months of
exposure to this environment I am exhibiting signs of faultier which makes
me fear that the purity of my imagination is being contorted by the
destructive void of incipient boredom which is creating a type of
intellectual inebriation. The power of my own imagination turned upon
itself causes an internal chaos, attacking the harmony of my spirit, my
soul and my liver (due to increased alcohol consumption in the case of the
later). |
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Evidence of this random intellectual displacement and the
resultant headspace inversion can be seen in the rambling scriptures you
are now reading. So before this delusion of progress and professionalism
seduces a permanent resignation of my sanity to the realms of ploughing
roads across the face of our good mother earth, I
devote my future to the exaltation of my body, my mind and my soul in
search of my true spirit. |
This
old dude I work with is a bit of a shocker. If you could actually imagine
having to work with Homer Simpson you're half way to understanding my
frustration. He quickly lost any comical entertainment value though, but
to save my sanity I still laugh at the way his tongue pokes out when he
has to concentrate a bit or the way he sings songs with no words like 'Bah
de bah bah baaaa....and trails the .....aaaah amusing himself with the
change in pitch when we drive over the bumps!! This is the calibre of
people you meet building roads. |
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Never
mind, my soul is about to be resuscitated in the rich spiritual and
cultural Kingdom of Nepal. So all this will soon be forgotten and the
memories replaced with a reality more my own. I've been thinking China
sounds pretty cool too, specially cause my bro is there now so I'm trying
to arrange a stint over there after Nepal. It will no doubt beat coming
back to a Scottish winter, especially if the summer is anything to go by. |
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While
I know that a cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition, I am now
convinced that fine weather lifts a burden from everyone. Yesterday a heavy and very cold mist gripped the
countryside all day, and today it just rained. Heavy dark and persistent.
And because roads are difficult to build in the rain I managed to read
half a novel and get paid for it. I also drove to the local river to check
out some of the rapids and to take a wee walk in t he rain. |
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The
World is Food for my Soul and Roads are Custard for my Brain.
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Thursday,
18 Mar 1999
OK
everyone, it must be about time dribbled out some more about what I'm up to.
Enough of you have been asking about what I'm actually doing for a job so I’ll
start with that. Hardly exciting; yeah another road building job but the pay is
a little bit exciting cause it is nearly twice what I was getting last time so
it was a hard offer to turn down, despite the promise I'd made to myself never
to build another road so long as I remain sane and know what a kayak looks like.
But hey, this time I have to wear collar and tie and look like I know how stuff
is supposed to be built which means I actually have enough responsibility to
make cock-ups. The job is pretty impressive as far as road jobs go. It is 30km
of new build 6 lane motorway (the M6) in the south end of Scotland (Dumphries
and Galloway district). It is just about finished and I'm just helping tidy up
loose ends as an 'Inspector of Works'. They've moved 3.6 million cubic metres of
dirt and rock in the last two years and spent something like 260 million pounds
which makes this the biggest engineering works in Europe at the moment.
During
the week I live locally in a small town called Moffat where all the landlords
have been kind enough to double rent prices especially for us motorway workers.
I get to share a house with a bunch of lonely old men who eat only very cheap
meat and the occasional egg cooked in 2 inches of filthy lard, I'm not joking,
they eat that shit 3 times a day. They're nice guys though, they do my washing
while I'm at work and one of them even gave me a shirt that is now too small for
him after eating too many sausages. I tried to tell him I wouldn't wear it cause
I only wear long sleeve shirts to work but he insisted, so now I have a forest
green grandpa shirt styled from a not very classic fashion a few decades ago. I
have a cool room though and I cook my own food.
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A Highland Cow... pronounced Heelan Coo
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Unlike
my last job I only have to work 37.5 hours each week which means I get to do
stuff in the weekends. So far this has meant going to Edinburgh to stay with
some mates and do stuff like rock climbing at the indoor wall ('cause outside
climbing at this time of year is only for people who think having blue lips and
fingertips is sexy) and just two days ago I made my first return trip to Fort
William which is a very cool place to be. As with my inaugural adventure to this
town, I travelled in the back of a windowless van with my mate Blobby and some
wine, this time, however, was a comparatively sober affair with only one piss
stop. I was all ready for a night on the town with the same local crowd as last
time only to discover they'd beat us to it by one night. So a kayaking video and
a few quite beers later we downed ourselves in preparation for a pre 9:am start
toward the barely snow covered peaks of the local ski field. It was great, I
haven't skied for about 7 years and I still managed to spend most of the day on
all the upper piste slopes before getting kicked off because I only bought the
beginners lift pass. The spring thunderstorms and snowmelt are on their way so
I'll soon be out paddling.
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After
just a few weeks working, life is beginning to take on the elements of routine,
a familiarity which had begun to diminish after 5 months on the road. Keys
accumulate and credit card size things fill your wallet. I've been back in the
West for over a month now and I still don't like using toilet paper anymore! I
miss the East; the land where time and money are still two separate entities.
Think I'll be back there before too long.
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Love
and Custard
Dave
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Monday,
28 Sep 1998
Well
work's finished and the adventures so far have included mountain biking
with Paul in Avimore which, despite the up hill bike carry, was an
excellent day with lots of grinning, during and after the downhills;
flying a plane from 1946 over Avimore (I waved at Paul but he didn't see
me) and doing some aerobatics over a castle at Lochness (Trystan took back
the controls for this bit). Then with the opportunity to avoid an arduous
bus trip to London I packed up my stuff, sold my car, said goodbye to my
friends and left my friendly chicken supplying landlady a note with some
rent (all in the space of 3.5 hours) then drove all night to Cambridge.
After 2 hours sleep and the revelation that Trystan had turned up 24 hours
early for his course, we made ourselves useful for the day and before I
knew it I was benevolently enrolled in an engineering course called
"Emergency Shelters for Disaster Relief”. Here I learnt how to make
mud bricks and build houses out of them, along with tree branches, rope,
timber and plastic. I was really in my element using a bit of 'kiwi
engineeruity' and was natural selection for jobs like the BBQ which helped
pay my way for 4 days of great hospitality and food. Now I’ve hit London
where I'm catching up with old friends form Africa, NZ etc and preparing
for Nepal. |
My mate Paul and I mountainbiking in Avimore
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I
met this guy on the course who is a kayaker and it seems whenever I get
talking to kayakers in this country I get asked 'what is it about kiwi
paddlers and nudity' and get told a story about two naked kiwi guys at the
Bitches rodeo a couple of years back. So it seems Cam Paul and Simon
Graney have done quite a fantastic job of presenting the essence of the
kiwi kayaker to the UK (if someone is in touch with them please pass on
this story of their fame). |
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The
girl scene in the UK has been a bit sad for me, with all the hours I’ve
been working etc I just haven’t had the opportunity to meet the talent,
so now I've hit the big city there is a lot that seems to catch my eye.
Fortunately though my iron-will has enabled me to stave off the less
scrupulous women who might take a boy in such a vulnerable position for a
bit of a ride. Yes I know, it's hard to believe that the 'fairer' sex
might do such things but it has happened; take Monica Lewinskey for
example!! |
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Nepal
is looming fast which probably means I will soon be out of regular
contact, and probably out of contact for the duration with most of you. So
I hope you enjoy your break from my dribble, it should last at least 4
months. I decided 2 months holiday just didn't sound long enough so I’m
going for 4, probably spending the last 2 paddling in India. Cool. I'm
looking forward to getting a suntan again. |
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Take
care
Custard
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Friday,
21 May 1999
Well,
I'm still only receiving a few of my external emails which is annoying me more
than a two pound weight hanging off my bollocks might and even more than having
all my toes glued together would annoy me. But all is not lost 'cause if I pay
the nice man at the shop lots of money in the weekends I can still get to use
his machine. I'm just thinking of interesting things I could tell you
and remembered I discovered a way to make 50p a box fish fingers taste good. Fry
them with pepper then slap them in a sandwich with mixed herbs and natural
yoghurt. Yum. Not particularly news worthy but its probably better than finding
out your dog has herpes (sorry, haven't been sleeping well lately and it's
affecting me).
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Topo splat
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a quick synopsis of what I've been up to. Mountain biking on occasional week
nights, it is spring now and there are lots of nice flowers to ride past and you
can see them for as long as the sun stays up, which is a lot longer than it used
to in winter. Paddling in the weekends if I can find water and/or a lift to the
rivers, rock climbing if I can't. Meeting up with old friends and meeting new
ones too. Spending a bit of time hanging out with a kiwi girl (Emily) I met in
Edinburgh, going to home grown Scottish and Irish movies and doing other stuff
that helps absorb a bit of Edinburgh's culture. Work trust me as far as
Edinburgh with their Landrovers in the weekends which is very nice and they
still haven't told me I'm unemployed yet even though I finished the job I was
originally employed for some time ago. |
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This
weekend I went to a place
near a place called Mull of Kintyre which is a place someone wrote a song about
once. I visited a mate called Jamie (of the infamous Custard Adventure number
37) who now baby-sits fish for a job. Last weekend I went paddling in Wales with
a bunch of people who thought Olly (kiwi mate) and I are strange and, having now
met the two of us, they will probably remain justifiably suspicious of all New
Zealanders until they have met enough mundane ones to quell their apprehension.
Should take a while, especially if they keep meeting kayakers. Yes the Brits are
inclined to be a little reserved and a little formal and they can't see why it
is necessary to get naked in public, even when your just changing into your
kayaking gear. It's good having some kiwis to laugh with at some of the silly
things that British people do (or don't do).
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But
really there have been no dramatic adventures in my life lately, I'm just
thinking about getting rid of a whole lot of gear so I can travel light while
kayaking through the French Alps; doing a best of British Columbia white water
tour; another Nepal post monsoon season; and maybe a bit more of India on my way
home ..... for a couple of months summer holiday on New Zealand's rivers. Will
be just what I need after six months on the road :-) And after that, who knows?
And
as Cyril Connolly once said, 'We must select the illusion which appeals to our
temperament and embrace it with passion, if we want to be happy'.
Love
from Custard
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Paddling in Wales
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