Once upon a time in a land far, far away, Swamp Creatures and Clever Men roamed the high rocky peaks. The Swamp creatures were particularly agile, of light build and relatively unkempt appearance. Despite their origins in the low repugnant lands of rotting vegetation and foul gases where their minds still dwell, they found themselves to be reasonably well suited to the high barren rocks where the climate is hostile but which afford expansive vistas of rugged skylines. Breathing difficulties in the unfamiliar fresh and slightly thin air and joint problems in the lower limbs created significant obstacles to their migration but it is thought that the magnificent vistas are what slowly drew the Swamp Creatures away from their murky polluted asylums in the low lands.
The Clever Men with their robust and durable physiques and cunning wits had also found themselves a home in these harsh lands. It is uncertain why the Clever men might have left the plush comforts of their well established civilisations. Conjecture says they did in fact develop illicit love relationships with Swamp Creatures and so followed them to the high barren remoteness of the jagged peaks to live out sordid fantasies in secluded privacy. While others maintain that this union happened at a later date by virtue of a fundamentally offset psychological disposition as a common link.
Others still ponder on unsubstantiated reports of overheard conversations and quotes of seemingly unintelligible expressions such as "Change your life dude, swear to God" and "I hear voices of Dwarves". Such phrases have added to hypothesises that other unsighted creatures survive in these high formidable environs. Although it is not clear if these spoken of, and spoken to, entities actually exist in reality or only in the potentially unhinged minds of our own subjects. Though it seems evident, even today, that in these times, lives were certainly changing.
A Finger of God points to Rosenlaui
Dave and the Swamp Creature |
Both creatures had made a unique adaptation of being able to scale seemingly impossible faces of towering rock. Some speculate that these forays were purely an extension of the hunter-gatherer tendencies of both species while others postulate that such skills were developed in order to escape the wrath of each others fury. Food was often scarce and competition for it fierce. As a means of retreat or surrender from a scuffle for food, one or other creature could regularly be seen scaling near vertical faces of featureless unforgiving rock, often with t'other in pursuit. The Clever Men were renowned for their ferocious appetites of love and destruction .... their love of food meant they could destroy liberal quantities of it at will. Although, in contradiction, a certain magnanimity would often see them distributing even portions at a time. Some believe this was a residual behaviour from their more civilised origins. |
As time passed interactions between these two creatures became more complex and, it would seem, more amicable. Any disharmony gave way to basic levels of cooperation and, although sightings were infrequent, chance observations gave definitive reports of obliging interaction whilst climbing those horrific rock faces, thus detracting from theories of competing for food and giving support to the hunter gatherer supposition. Evidence suggests a somewhat organised approach with specialised equipment being employed to aid the ascents. Such as a long thin tool that was used alternately to help push one creature up a vertical face and then to pull the trailing member up behind. Some reports even rumour that other, less observed, but more horizontal interactions took place between these two creatures on occasion. Usually performed in less exposed, more secluded environments little is known of these interactions, as sightings were very rare.
It was not long, thus, before the Swamp Creatures realised the expansive depth and breadth of knowledge contained within the Clever Men's heads and so started probing this resource for advice and information. And the Clever Men, happy to have their inner beauty realised, would spend hours patiently answering the proliferation of questions that would develop from seemingly simple situations.
Slowly a greater harmony began to rest over the unlikely coalition of these creatures and evidence remains today of their eventual cohabitation in elaborate dwellings perched in the high mountainous regions of central Europe. Their disappearance from these regions remains a mystery and a point of sadness for those of us who were avid fans of these beautiful and unlikely creatures. I personally would spend many weekends traipsing the mountains in hope of a brief glimpse of one or even both of them. I went to lengths to train in the art of scaling rock in the hope that I could access some of the more remote and hostile environs where these illusive creatures would dwell. Alas it would seem they are gone for good but hope will always remain that these friends of my heart will one-day return.
It is my biggest fear and my one great hope that these creatures have not given up all they know, sacrificed all they learnt and succumb to the illustrious temptations and notorious delusions of their former retreats. I learnt much from my observations of the pair known to us as Bummie and Mr Clever and I would prize the opportunity to study them further should they ever be found.
This Summary Report was compiled by Mr D Custard.
