The Film
  - brief guidelines for what might be part improvisational

June 1 2003

Int. apartment. night

Director: This film is going to redefine film it's going to change the way we make film how we look at film. It's got to be big we've got to do it just right.

Actor 1: What's it about?

Director: I have it all worked out in my head. It's got to be done perfect exactly how I have it in my head. And you're in it, you're one of the actors.

Actor 1: Well what's it about

Director: I'm going to give you the script. You'll read it. We have to film this as soon as possible. I'm going to call everybody else. We're going to get together we are going to work on this, really work on this, give it our ALL. Give it our ALL, put our ALL into and it's going to be perfect. What do you say?

Actor 1: What's it about? Why is this the revolution of film as we know it? What is it?

Director: What is it? What is It? Ok. It's mundane reality coming in contact with faery land. Like I'm going to show that the faery world actually exists with this film. This film is going to prove that the faery world is right here hiding under the mundane world. You'll see it's going to be perfect but we have to do it just right.

Actor 1: I believe the faery world exists!!

Director: EXACTLY EXACTLY! Which is why you're in the movie. That's why it has to be with you get it!? But we have to do it just right ok? No funny business, when the cameras roll you just listen to what I tell you. Ok this is a film, we're not just fooling around this is a film, people are going to see this. This is going to be seen everywhere ok so you just listen to me and when I say action you act.

Actor 1: So what's it about? I mean are you going to open the secret door and film in faery land or what?

Director: Look. You're going to read the script. Ok but it's like mundane world meets the faery world. So there are all these characters, they're walking around in the mundane world. But THEN we cut and you see these elves in the forest right and they're doing something and what they're doing, well they're doing something magical like making something ok? But then it cuts back to the mundane world.

Actor 1: And how are you going to film the elves?

Director: You just save your smart answers to yourself and leave that to me. You're going to act ok. So we're going to have your scenes in the mundane world right and this is the contrast between the elf world which is mind blowing right so we'll have these scenes of you walking in front of really ugly concrete buildings downtown. And like all the things that we have to do like cooking or whatever, we'll figure that out, well actually I'll figure that out you leave that to me. Oh and we'll have a shot of you watching tv right. OK then we cut to the elf world and they're doing these outrageous things like pulling flashing lights out of magical bags in the forest and like silver white light is erupting from under their skin it's going to be perfect.

Actor 1: And how are you going to do do that? What kind of budget do you have for this film?

Director: What? No no it's really going to happen the light is going to erupt from under the elves' skin, they can do that. I don't need no special effects.

Actor 1: OK.

Director: You just leave that to me.

Actor 1: Sure! I'll leave that to you!

Director: Now but here's the CATCH, are you ready?

Actor 1: Ok. What's the catch?

Director 1: Right. Then one of the characters in the mundane world finds a book. And the book is about the faery world ok. So when he opens the book and reads about the world he learns about this other world and THEN some of the characters actually enter his world like he'll meet one of the elves on the street.

Actor 1: Hmm.

Director: What do you say?

Actor 1: I like it, yeah I like it.

Director: Ok so we film this as soon as possible.


Cut to...

Int. apartment. night
The director is filming one of the scenes. The actor is cooking.

Director: Ok now just pretend it's like any other day. Ok just pretend nothing's going on, you're just cooking right. It's like every day. Nice and slow like a regular pace. Don't race, just like you always do it.


Cut to...

Int. apartment. night
The actor 2 is watching television

Director: Ok just like you always watch television nothing special you're kind of disinterested jaded bored maybe. Ok perfect this is perfect.

Cut to...

Int. apartment. night
The director walks in but without a camera.

Actor 2: What's going on where's your camera I thought we were going to film tonight?

Director: No we're not filming I have to go.

Actor 2: You have to go where?

Director: I have to go we're not filming.

Actor 2: What?

Director: Yeah I know.

Actor 2: What? What happened to we have to do this film as soon as possible?

Director: Yeah I know things changed I didn't expect this.

Actor 2: Expect what?

Director: Yeah I know.

Actor 2: What??!

Director: I know I know.

Actor 2: Where are you going?

Director: I'm going to be out of town for awhile.


Cut to...

A dark screen with the white caption:

1 YEAR LATER


Cut to...

Int. apartment.day
Director walks into the room both actors are there on the couch maybe reading or watching television or playing music.

Director: Hey.

Actor 1: Hey!

Actor 2: Hey! Where have you been? It's been almost a year.

Director: I just got back from Madrid. I've been filming the movie and then my actors bailed on me and then I ran into problems with the law and I had to leave.

Actor 2: You've been filming the movie there?

Director: Yeah I've got the footage.

Actor 2: Well let's take a look.


Cut to...

Everyone is watching the footage on the televsion or on the computer

Director: See there he's watching the tv just an ordinary day.

Actor 1: So where are the elves?

Director: Yeah yeah I didn't film that part. Oh look there now he's reading the book about the faery world. And now look he's made fliers and he's handing out fliers on the street advertising the book about the elves.

Actor 1: Hmmm

Director: So when do we film we have to finish this we have to do this as soon as possible.

Actor 2: What?

Actor 1: Yeah. That's what you said a year ago and then you just took off.

Director: Yeah but it's different this time.


Cut to...

Int. apartment. night
Director is writing the scenes. He is really concentrating and seems perturbed. He is writing furiously and his pencil breaks. He sharpens the pencil. Then across the room his camera turns on without warning. The director slowly turns to the camera. Then he walks over to it and turns it off.


Cut to...

Int. production house. Day.
The director is pitching the movie to a producer.

Director: So I can film this movie, I was filming this movie in Madrid it's just that I was kicked out of the country before I could finish it.

Producer: You were kicked out?

Director: Well no I wasn't kicked out I was just I couldn't afford the apartment and I was living there illegally so I had to go and the film wasn't finished so well I want to finish this film right?

Producer: And what do you want from me?

Director: I want you to finance this film and distribute it basically.

Producer: I see and why would I want to do that?

Director: No no no you don't understand, well that's not your fault I haven't made myself clear yet see this is a great film this is going to change the whole film industry everything is going to change after this film so you really want to be part of it I mean you want at the end of the day to say yes I helped make this film see the light of day.

Producer: Well here's my card and what you can do is call me sometime next week.

Director: And what do you say?

Producer: Well see I have a meeting in about 5 minutes so I don't have anything to say I have to go right now.

Director: Well let me leave a copy of the script with you.

Producer: You do that and you just remember to keep that card!


Cut to...

Int. apartment.day
The director walks into the apartment. Actor 1 is watching tv.

Director: Hey I just spoke to a producer about the film.

Actor 1: Yeah. What did the producer say?

Director: He gave me his card!

Actor 1: Hmm.

Director: Yeah

Actor 1: I don't know.

Director: Well it doesn't matter because we're going to film.

Actor 1: I can't.

Director: Why not?

Actor 1: Because I'm watching tv.

Director: Oh come on.

Actor 1: No I'm serious.

Slowly amongst the arguing there is a soft sound that becomes slowly louder.

Director: Well I could film you watching tv it's part of the movie right.

Actor 1: You filmed that already.

director: Yeah but that was last year we have to start for the beginning now.

Actor 1: You're joking, why?

Director: That's how films work. It won't look good if we film with a year gap between the footage.

Actor 1: Do you hear that?

The sound is a bit louder.

Director: What?

Actor 1: That.

The actor points into the air.

Director: What that sound?

Actor 1: Yes! That sound! What is that sound?

The director shrugs his shoulders.

Actor 1: What is that?

Director: You know that reminds me... Last night I was working on the script. And the camera my camera just turned on for no reason.

Actor 1: Like this sound.


fade to white...

Int. apartment night.
The director is really frustrated writing the script then tearing the page out of the book and tossing it. He writes. The pencil breaks. He sharpens. The camera turns on again. And this time accompanied by the noise. The noise stops when he turns off the camera.


Cut to...

Int. apartment. Night
Director walks into the aprtment holding the camera. Actor 2 is strumming on a guitar.

Director: Hey.

Actor 2: Hey.

Director: So are you ready?

Actor 2: For what?

Director: To film.

Actor 2: No I think I'm just going to practice my guitar.

Director: Oh come on the film what about the film?!

Director turns on the camera.

Actor 2: Well you keep changing the plan.

Director: I won't I promise.

Actor 2: Hey have you heard that sound?

Director: You heard that sound too? Hey you know my camera has turned on twice now without any warning what does that mean?

Actor 2: I don't know.

Director: It means there's something about this film that's what that much is obvious it means we have to finish this!


Cut to...

Int. apartment. night
Director is at his desk staring at the paper. Then he turns to the camera at the other side of the room staring at it for some time. Then it turns on. The director walks to the camera. The viewfinder is open and there is bright white light in the viewfinder. The director picks it up for a closer view. It is pulsing light. He get's a very good look until the screen is filled by the pulsing light.


Fade to white.