*Dawson's room - a movie is on the television. Dawson is watching it.*

Dawson: There's not a single dramatic storyline in existence that Shakespeare didn't conquer first. Family revenge, political intrigue, the great gender battle. The guy mapped it all out for us, and what was his parting lesson? What genre of all genres did he finally arrive at after years of toil and sacrifice? Tragedy.

Gail: *offscreen* Shh.

Dawson: Like all great romantics, he finally realized that life was a lot more likely to end up with a bunch of dead Danish people on stage than with a kiss.

Gail: What a sad movie.

Dawson: Mom, you cried at the commercials.

Gail: Only that cotton commercial.

Dawson: We've got to do something about your perpetual state of melancholy. I'm...concerned about you.

Gail: Well, honey, I'm concerned about you. Ever since your breakup with Joey, you haven't said one word about it. Dawson...you haven't even wallowed.

Dawson: What good is wallowing? All the wallowing in the world doesn't bring somebody back.

Gail: Wallowing isn't about getting them back. It isn't about them at all, it's about you, and learning to allow yourself the few meager advantages of being the dumpee.

Dawson: Advantages?

Gail: Sure, like allowing yourself to stuff your face with a lifetime supplu of red licorice and doughnuts, or a newfound appreciation for country music.

Dawson: Like an excuse to watch the last scene from Field of Dreams?

Gail: Acquiring the necessary pain to write bad, bitter poetry.

Dawson: A reason to scowl.

Gail: A reason to bitch!

Dawson: Work out aggression!

Gail: Yes! You see, when you think about it, honey, every inch of pain that youches you makes you a deeper, more real individual. Whether you're 16 or...slightly older.

Dawson: So it doesn't get any easier?

Gail: Nope. You just go to bed earlier.

*She gets up off the bed and walks towards the door*

Gail: Night, honey.

Dawson: 'Night mom.

*She turns around*

Gail: I hope I was an acceptable substitute for movie night.

Dawson: You were great.

*Gail leaves and Dawson pops in a new movie and lays back on his bed. He looks over at the empty window, then back to the TV. He pulls out a piece of licorice and eats it.*

Teacher: "What light through yonder window breaks?" It is the midterm, and your impending failure is but hours away. *passing out books* Blue books. You're notice they're blank, and for many of you, they'll score higher as such than when actually written in. *Dawson leans over and so does Joey and Dawson gives Joey an angry look.*.

Teacher: (cont.) Please sign your real name. As to the test, it will cover everything we have studied in English Literature thus far and will be worth 50% of this term's grade. Main points of interest...Shakespeare, Dickens, the romantics, and your favorite, the read everybody's talking about, Beowulf.

*A kid in the back, Chris, throws a wad of paper towards Jen. She opens in and it reads, "Don't forget to smile."*

Teacher: (cont.) I will be hosting a study session in this classroom at 3:00. It is my recommendation you attend. Unless, of course, your parents have dedicated at least a wing or two to an Ivy League institution in which case your tragic, East Coast aristocratic, social alcoholic fate has already been sealed. This is more than just an exam, people. It's your life.

*The bell rings and everybody rushes out of the classroom. Joey follows Dawson.*

Joey: Hey.

*Dawson keeps walking*

Joey: Dawson, at some point we have to say something to each other.

Dawson: What would you like me to say, Joey?

*They're at his locker*

Joey: What do you want to say?

Dawson: Go away.

Joey: Besides that!

Dawson: Joey, you made it very clear you needed space, okay? I am giving you that space.

Joey: I didn't think it would mean we'd be cutting off all communication, Dawson.

Dawson: What did you think it would mean?

Joey: This isn't fair.

Dawson: To which one of us? You can't make up all the rules!

Joey: I don't want to!

Dawson: Then what do you want?

*Cut to the cafeteria*

Pacey: One day this cafeteria is destined to cook a fry THAT ACTUALLY TASTES LIKE A FRY!

Andie: Menage a trois. Ever been in one?

Pacey: All hail, the queen of non-sequiturs has spoken.

Andie: It's not a non-sequitur. It's this month's Jane.

Pacey: Chick magazines are racier than Playboy. There's always some article in there about how to prolong your 'this' or around your 'that'.

Andie: This one's a purity test.

Pacey: What?

Andie: A purity test. You've heard of them. An assortment of sexual questions that when totaled are meant to gauge your level of sexual experience.

Pacey: *nervously* Okey-dokey. Time to put that away now.

Andie: Why? It's fun!

Pacey: Gauging our level of sexual expertise is not really my idea of joy abounding.

Andie: Don't think I don't know where this is going, Pacey Witter. I know your history.

Pacey: *surprised* You do?

Andie: Sure. You're a typical guy. You want everyone to think you have unseemly, adventurous sexual existence when in fact your purity level is probably closer to Big Bird's than Bill Clinton's.

Pacey: Yeah, you know what? You got me. That's me...Mr. Embarrassingly Pure.

*They exit into the hallway*

Andie: Whatever. So am I going to see you at Peterson's Cram-o-Rama?

Pacey: That would imply that I am going.

Andie: No, no, Pacey, you CAN NOT bail on this study session. It's way too important.

Pacey: To you.

Andie: No, no, no. To anyone who cares about their grade.

Pacey: Well, see, there's the rub. Yo soy not concerned.

Andie: Don't joke about this.

Pacey: I'm serious. As committed as you are to doing everything in your power to get an A, I'm equally committed to getting my C, possibly D if I can't get a good look at your answer sheet.

Andie: Pacey!

Pacey: Give me one good reason why I should go.

Andie: Me!

Pacey: Okay...fine. I'll go. Just don't expect me to stay awake.

*Cut to the track. Chris walks up to Jen.*

Chris: Jen-a-lish Delish.

Jen: Hey Chris, what's up?

Chris: Long run today. Thought you'd be looking for someone to keep stride with.

Jen: And you'd like to be that someone?

Chris: I'm a good pacer. I know when to speed up and when to slow down.

Jen: And when to leave someone alone?

Chris: Jen, is there a particular reason why you're not receptive to my wily charms?

Jen: Other than the fact that you emit them regularly to any skirt within a 6-mile radius?

Chris: Actually, I have a car so it's more like the tri-state area.

*Jen smiles*

Chris: Ah-ha! A smile. Mission accomplished.

Jen: Later, Chris.

*He walks away. Dawson walks up*

Dawson: And the hawk circles.

Jen: He's just being cute, which he really is.

Dawson: You seen his love 'em and leave 'em rap sheet? It's epic.

Jen: Relax, Dawson.

Dawson: Just looking out...so, you hitting the study session?

Jen: Oh, doubt it. Not much into the "Applying Myself" zone these days. How about you?

Dawson: Well, it's either that or another evening watching some awful, seventies tearjerker with my mother. You should go.

Jen: I'll tell you what, Dawson. Since it doesn't look like I'll be having a hot night of unbridled passion with Romeo over there, *Cut to Chris talking to another girl* I'll consider it.

Dawson: Okay.

*Cut to Andie reading a note on a classroom door*

Andie: Dear Class, I want home with a cold that was considerably more important that you. The test is still on for tomorrow. Study the sample questions. Until then, hardly yours, Mr. Peterson.

Pacey: So he bailed on his own study session.

Joey: Great.

Chris: *to Jen* We should have our own study session. My folks are in Saint Martin. We'll have the whole house to ourselves.

Jen: Like we'd get a lot of work done that way.

Chris: The lady questions my motives? Invite your friends. *to Pacey and Andie* You two interested? Let's study at my place.

Andie: I was thinking more along the lines of the city library.

*Pacey stops Andie*

Pacey: Whoa! His offer does have certain enticing qualities.

Andie: Since when have you been in such a rush to form a study group?

Pacey: Have you ever seen this man's house?! His family is totally loaded. They got a satellite dish.

*Andie shakes her head no*

Pacey: Oh, come on!

Andie: *giving in* Alright, we're in.

Chris: Cool. I'll drive. *to Jen* Young lady, will you be join us?

Jen: How can I resist?

*Cut to Andie catching up with Joey*

Andie: Hey, Joey. So what are your study plans?

Joey: Oh, just me, my English lit book, and a loud, crying baby.

Andie: Good. Then you can come with me.

Joey: Where?

Andie: A study session at Chris Wolfe's. I can't do this alone.

Joey: Chris Wolfe's? You're going to rely on Chris Wolfe to provide a suitable study environment? I think I'm better off with the loud, crying baby.

Andie: Okay, do you honestly believe I would let this night be anything less than ridiculously beneficial? Trust me. I'm in mega-control of this event.

*Cut to Pacey and Dawson*

Pacey: Hey Dawson! Where you headed little buddy?

Dawson: Well, Skipper, I saw Peterson's note. I'm headed home.

Pacey: I'm actually headed to a different study session, if you're up for it.

Dawson: "Different study session"? Is this Pacey Witter code for party? Brothel? Road trip to Disneyland?

Pacey: Believe it or not, this is a true meeting of intellectuals in a highly moderated studious environment and that, my friend, is our ride. So what do you say?

Dawson: Sure..

*Dawson opens the door to the car and sees Joey and is a little perturbed. He gets in*

*Cut to the gang going into Chris' huge house.*

Chris: Uh, the TV is that way. *points* The Jacuzzi and sauna are out back. We keep extra suits in the guest room, and the kitchen's that way *points* if you get hungry.

Joey: *to Andie* Sounds like we're going to get a lot of studying done.

Andie: Reminder, I'm in complete control here.

Dina: AHEM!

*The attention turns to a girl reading a magazine in the other room. She's about 12, maybe?*

Chris: Everyone, my little sister, Dina. She promises to stay out of the way.

Andie: Nope. This room isn't going to do. We're going to need a long table, proper lighting, and high-backed chairs. Where's Pacey?

*She finds Pacey in the other room with the TV flipping through channels*

Pacey: Hey, check this out. 200 channels from all over the world. It's a couch potato's dream. Look at that! 3 Stooges in Cantonese.

Andie: Why do you insist on undermining me at every opportunity you get?

Pacey: Think of how boring the alternative is.

Andie: Look, I'm going to need your help with our attention deficit host, okay? There's no way I can expend energy rounding up the both of you. Now, come on!

Pacey: *whining* But I wanna watch TV...

*Cut to the room. The group is around a table and Andie is standing up with WAY too much energy*

Andie: So, the plan of attack is simple. Using this book, we'll spend 30 minutes on each of the various sections: Victorian poetry, Shakespeare, Dickens, etc. And, by my watch, if we allow for a few 15 minute breaks, we'll be able to cover the entire course load by midnight. That will still give us enough time to do an hour speed round and get a good night's sleep. Sound good?

*It's quiet*

Chris: Anybody want to order a pizza?

Jen: Me!

Dawson: Absolutely, yeah.

Pacey: Hey, I got it! Listen, why don't you just think of this as several of our 15 minutes breaks strung together?

*Cut to the kitchen and Chris is going through the wine talking to Jen*

Chris: Got a bottle in here from '84. It's from Napa.

Jen: Fancy.

Chris: Well, actually the wine is made by a married couple who have sort of a Mom-and-Pop vineyard thing going. I was taught to choose quality over labels.

Jen: I think we're getting to know each other minus sexual overtones. Well, it is possible.

Chris: You know, Jen, it bothers me that you assume the worst about me. I don't about you.

Jen: Well, given our previous encounters, plus your reputation, what would you expect me to assume?

Chris: That we're a lot alike. That reputations aren't worth the air they're written on, and that the only way to really get to know someone is by getting to know them.

Jen: Deal.

Chris: I don't want to let go just yet..

*Cut back to the room. Andie is quizzing people.*

Andie: Okay, for 200 points: The most famous of the romantic poets?

Jen: The Pope.

Andie: Wrong. Dawson?

Dawson: Shelley?

Andie: Wrong again.

Chris: "Two beings were drifting, each one to the other, no moments, veil-liting, or hint from other." Hardy.

Andie: Impressive, but wrong! Pacey?

Pacey: "Would you eat them in a box? Would you eat them with a fox?" Seuss!

Andie: I so hate you right now.

Joey: Keats. It was Keats.

Andie: Ding, ding! Okay...for an additional 100 points, can you give us his most famous quote?

*Dawson stares at Joey.*

Dawson: "Beauty is truth, truth beauty."

Joey: Um, he's right. I forgot.

Dawson: It would seem so.

Chris: Whoa, maybe we should hit that hot tub? What do you think, chill out a bit?

Andie: We've been chillin' out for 2 hours. What we need to do now is FOCUS.

Chris: Well, then, what do we have here? Why did I take you more for the National Geographic type?

Jen: You've got to be kidding me! "How Pure are You?" God, talk about an open can of worms.

Chris: Oh, excellent.

Andie: No way, no. We're already behind.

Chris: Come on, Lieutenant! I vote for one last bonding event before I go back to academic torture.

Jen: Why not?

*They all head into another room.*

Andie: Okay, in an effort to keep this moment of folly under control, I'm taking charge. There's 100 questions total, and I only have one test. We'll pass it around and take turns asking. Write your answers on the paper and we'll total when finish. Okay, um, Pacey? Why don't you start?

Pacey: Alrighty. Question #1: "Have you ever been intimately aroused by a relative?" So, it's a southern test, huh?

*timelapse*

Jen: #13: "Have you ever experimented with bondage?"

*timelapse*

Joey: "Have you ever gotten cozy in an airplane?"

*timelapse*

Andie: "..in a public place?"

*timelapse*

Chris: "..in your parent's bed?" *timelapse*

Dawson: "Have you ever caught your parents having sex?"

*timelapse*

Pacey: #63: "Have you ever named your most private of regions?"

Jen: #69

*laughing*

Jen: (cont.) "Have you ever participated in.."

*timelapse*

Joey: "Have you ever engaged in sexual activity with a member of the same sex?"

*timelapse*

Andie: "...with a transvestite?"

*timelapse*

Pacey: "...with a 4-legged creature?"

*timelapse*

Dawson: "Have you ever paid for sex?"

Chris: Does dinner count?

Andie: Question #84: "Have you ever fantasized about a friend's significant other?"

*silence*

Andie: (cont.) Very quiet in the room all of a sudden.

Jen: "Have you ever had an affair with a friend's significant other?"

Chris: Thats in my fantasy.

Pacey: Give me this. *takes magazine* "Have you ever had an affair with a friend's pet?" How come I get all the animal questions?

*timelapse*

Joey: Okay, #100: *pauses* "Have you ever been in love? If so, how many times? Give yourself a point of purity for each time."

*Joey looks at Dawson.*

Andie: Okay, let's score 'em up! Everybody ready?

*Joey leaves the room.*

*Cut to Dawson walking into the kitchen where Joey is.*

Joey: Not now, Dawson.

Dawson: I saw the look on your face when you read that question.

Joey: Is this your version of space?

Dawson: You're free to leave anytime. I don't see you making a rush for the door.

Joey: That's because I came here to study. I didn't know you were coming.

Dawson: Is it so awful that I'm here?

Joey: No! Stop putting words into my mouth. I asked for time, Dawson, just time. Please respect that.

*She leaves. Dina is in the doorway.*

Dina: Issues. Dawson, right? Dina Wolfe here, in case you didn't remember.

Dawson: Dina, do you know where the coffee is?

Dina: Yeah, drip or instant?

Dawson: Um, drip.

Dina: Appropriate. Tough room.

Dawson: With me, always.

Dina: So, care to fill me in on the details of your little love affair?

Dawson: Id' rather not discuss it, actually, thanks.

Dina: You're right, Dawson. Why talk? People like you and me, we can say everything with a look.

*She looks at Dawson and Dawson looks at her like she's lost it.*

Andie: And the totals are as follows, Chris clocked in with the least pure score of 66%, Jen is a close second with 69%, Joey and Dawson bring us up the scale with a matching level of 85%, and I round us up with a 92%. Wait a minute...we're missing one here.

Pacey: *holds up his* It's right here.

Andie: Oh, why didn't you turn it in?

Pacey: Didn't really want to.

Andie: Hand it over.

Chris: You dog! This wouldn't have anything to do with question #16.

Andie: #16? I don't get it.

Chris: Yeah, we blew right past it, but I think we should read it again aloud. What do you say, Pace?

Pacey: Chris..

Chris: Come on. Stop it. I'm dying to know. What'd you put for 16, Witter