Men are like...

...placemats

they only show up when there's food on the table.

...mascara

they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

...bike helmets

they're good in emergencies but usually just look silly.

...government bonds

they take so long to mature.

...copiers

you need them in reproduction but that's about it.

...lava lamps

fun to look at it but not all that bright.

...bank accounts

without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

...high heels

they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

...curling irons

they're always hot and always in your hair.

...mini skirts

if your not careful they'll creep up your legs.

...handguns

keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.