So Rose and I went down to Shmooze on Saturday to check it out. There was a special VIP thing (i.e. first 300 people on guestlist to arrive at the club = no cover) so we went a little earlier than we normally would. Despite showing up at 10:30pm, they still had a fairly decent crowd inside.

Shmooze is an upscale niteclub/lounge that is located at 15 Mercer St. (just south of King St. W and east of Peter st. aka Blue Jays Way - close to Wayne Gretzky's Restaurant). It's one of those hard to find places that don't look like anything from the outside. And it happens to be located down an alley that looks kinda creepy so you wouldn't be walking down there if you didn't actually *know* that Shmooze and Bauhas (another club) were there. Because of it's exterior appearance, you'd be amazed at the decor once you get inside.

Shmooze is beautifully decorated. As soon as you walk in, you get this posh feeling. I can't say that the staff are warm and friendly, but they're not creepy and scary like at some of the other places. Mind you, I think the friendly doorstaff I've ever encountered were at Eau and Therapy ultraLounge. But back to the decor. The first thing I noticed once I got past the bouncer collecting tickets was that the place was huge and spacious. There were two VIP lounge areas, both of which were sectioned off. One was hidden behind a curtain so I have no idea what that area looked like. But the one I did get to see was actually very nice. It had couches and low tables and there was a buffet table in there too (but I didn't actually feel like eating anything so I didn't go over there).

What's really nice is the big round bar in the regular lounge area (i.e. not the VIP lounge areas). It's a large, spacious, oval shaped bar much like the one in the outer room of Therapy ultraLounge. What's good about this type of bar (as I stated in my Therapy ultraLounge review) is that it really serves to tie the room together and anchor the eye, especially in large room.

The regular lounge area was "loft" style with the unconcealed, industrial sized duct work over head. Ironically, even though this area had a lower ceiling than the dance floor area (and i mean MUCH lower), the ventilation was much better. One little problem with this space was the location of the chairs. All the chairs were against the walls, far away from the edge of the bar. Basically, you could only stand around the bar. Now, since this space is so immense and the tables and chairs are against the walls, the result was a huge space gap between the patrons sitting down, and the patrons at the bar. I dunno if this is an actual problem, but I though on an aesthetic level, this appeared a little bit odd.

For fear of boring you to death with my decor review, I'll just add that the bathrooms are very clean and well lit. Much simpler decor than that of Eau but very warm and cozy. And I'm happy to report that the stalls are fair sized (unlike Therapy) and that instead of stalls, they're actually little rooms with real walls instead of those metal divisions commonly found in commercial washrooms. But I'll end my talk about the decor here. Just know that the decor is fabulous and worth checking out.

Something noticeable about the bar staff is that they are having *way* too much fun. They don't work nearly as hard as the bar staff at my favour haunt (Alleycatz), but then again, there's only a max of 3 staff working at Alleycatz, while there were 5 bartenders working just at this one central bar. There were another two staff at each of the smaller bars sandwiching the dancefloor. This is not including all the floating floor staff who are out and about picking up empty glasses and bottles.

Speaking of which, their floor staff are a little too keen. As Rose and I were sitting down chatting about something when a member of the empty beverage vessel brigade came and picked up her half-empty (or half-full) bottle of Bacardi Silver. True, he's trying to provide good service, but there's nothing more annoying than someone reaching for your unfinished drink. It's okay... don't panic. He didn't take it away. But we were a little put off by his exuberance.

Now, as with all places, here is my review of their Lychee Martini. In my quest for the perfect drink, it is expected that on occassion I will have to endure concoctions that fall below the threshold of favourable taste. I made the mistake of ordering a martini from an establishment that is not *known* for their martinis. Bear in mind that they are having an afterwork Martini party on July 3rd. Anyways, what should have been a clear indication of a problem was when the barmaid poured my drink and then proceeded to ask, "Would you like some ice with that?" She means ice cubes. I was appalled. Ice cubes?? In my martini?? That's crazy! I politely declined and picked up my drink.

It looked okay. I was disappointed by the absent lychee garnish in the bottom of my glass, but I figured, it should be okay. Sniff test? Oh... failed by a long shot. It didn't actually smell like lychee. In fact... it didn't smell like anything other than rubbing alcohol. So that's two strikes. The moment of truth. I took a sip. My goodness, it was the most vile thing I had ever tasted. Even you-know-who, who can't make a decent drink, couldn't ruin my lychee martini more than this. The sheer bitterness of the drink as it coursed through my system left me shuddering with disgust. And to top it all off, there were bits of ice floating in the drink. Bad bad bad. I must say, that was the most disappointed $8 I've ever spent. All around, this martini gets the following rating:

Look:
Smell:	Sorry, no paws for this. Not even half.
Taste:	If I could give negative paws, I would.

Not much to say about crowd here. It's true, this was an older crowd (+25 scene) but not so much older that I felt out of place. And I'm happy to report that there weren't many slimy guys (just one on the dance floor who I dealt with swiftly). Unfortuantely, I must report that the best looking people at this place were the staff. One hot bartender (mind you, I have seen better bartenders) and one good looking bouncer (by Rose's standard... not mine). Actually... I think the bouncer was okay, but he just doesn't do it for me. I dunno, I guess maybe I was expecting more even though I know I shouldn't go in anywhere with expectations. Maybe it was hyped up a bit too much for me.

Biases aside, the final rating for Shmooze is:

Service:
Ambiance:
Martini:	Like I said earlier, negative paws if I could give them.

So, final assessment. I do recommend this place. Shmooze has got the ambiance, a good mix of music (althought I didn't comment on it), pretty good service, and a "not bad" crowd (think three and a half paws). Bear in mind, that I totally do *not* recommend their martini and I would even go so far as to tell people to pass up their "After Work Martini Party" on July 3rd just because that drink was so bad that you couldn't pay me to drink another one, let alone expect me to buy (and drink) them at half price.

Their website is: http://www.shmooze.ca/