Title: Acceptance 2

Author: Morgana (morganalebeau@yahoo.com)

Website: http://www.oocities.org/morganalebeau/

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Acceptance

By Morgana

 

Chapter Four - Explorations

Thranduil had talked for two hours now, knowing that his voice possessed the power to keep Elladan from losing consciousness again. He could keep this up for a few more hours, but what the young half-Elf really needed was a healer. "What are you thinking about, Elladan?" He had been asking questions to test if Elladan was still coherent, and so far he had received logical answers.

Elladan found that he couldn't pull away from his savior's voice. He had forgotten the Elf's name again, but his headache was growing less, for which he felt immensely thankful. "My brother..."

"What was his name again?" Thranduil knew very well it was Elrohir, but continued to test Elladan's memory, hoping it was still intact. He found he liked the young half-Elf and worried for Elladan. Hopefully they would reach Imladris shortly.

"Elrohir," whispered Elladan longingly. "He might... might have felt it too."

"Felt what?" inquired Thranduil curiously. He reached for a small golden flask and placed it at Elladan's lips. "Drink. The miruvor will strengthen you, and it is still a long ride to Imladris."

Elladan drank hastily, feeling thirsty. He almost protested when his savior removed the flask from his lips, attaching it to his belt again.

"Felt what?" repeated Thranduil. The half-Elf seemed to be recovering little by little and he hoped Elladan would continue to make progress. He still had one arm wrapped around Elladan's waist, making sure the youngster couldn't slip from Tuor's back accidentally.

"When we were little... he felt my pain and I felt his... He probably knows something is wrong... and has sent out search parties..." Tired, Elladan rested his head against a strong shoulder. "I wanted to thank you for coming to my aid... I was very fortunate indeed... They would have killed me... And I do not want Ada to suffer... through that... especially now he is hurt."

Thranduil frowned. Elrond was injured? He was tempted to ask, but feared making Elladan suspicious so he kept his questions to himself. He would find a way to satisfy his curiosity once they were safe at Imladris.

"Keep talking to me, Elladan." Thranduil looked at the darkening sky, hoping the clouds wouldn't bring rain. He couldn't afford to stop and seek shelter; they would be soaking wet when they finally arrived at Imladris. The trees whispered to him, telling him a large party of Elves was approaching. /Probably the search party Elladan mentioned./ Pulling up the hood, he hid in its shadow, determined to keep his identity a secret. "Elladan, tell me about your family, friends, adventures. I do not care what you talk about as long as I hear your voice."

Elladan nodded, understanding why he wasn't allowed to fall asleep. "It all started when... when Legolas..."

Thranduil tensed slightly, hearing his son's name, but forced himself to listen instead of questioning Elladan.

"He was injured and... and an Uruk-Hai brought him... to Imladris... It was the strangest thing... Lurtz, that is his name... seemed to care about Legolas... Did I already mention he is... Uruk-Hai?"

"Aye, you did." Thranduil felt pleased to learn that Lurtz had brought his son to the healers of Imladris, but now he wanted to hear the rest of the story.

"Legolas recovered... I did not believe him when he told me he was in love... with Lurtz... I had an even harder time... believing Lurtz returned those feelings... but then Lurtz ran and Legolas followed him... Ai, Ada! Then Ada got captured and tortured by Ugluk... I hate those Uruk-Hai! We killed them all!"

Thranduil wasn't sure he understood correctly. "Legolas chased Lurtz?" Well, that did sound an awful lot like his youngest son! Legolas knew exactly what he wanted and wouldn't stop at anything to get it.

"Aye... but things went horribly wrong and Ada - he cannot walk, you know - Lurtz helped Ada escape and took a... knife for Legolas..."

Thranduil nodded once. It almost sounded like Legolas had made the right choice when taking Lurtz for a mate, but he still wanted to meet his son's love in person.

/Thranduil, they are approaching... They are coming for the young one.../ The trees whispered softly, keeping Thranduil informed.

Thranduil inclined his head in answer, and he silently thanked the trees for this information, whispering soft words. Even after all these millennia he still marveled at the trees' ancient wisdom. He had always drawn his strength from the land and the trees, and offered his life force in return when the wood needed it. The trees had taught him so much - were still teaching him - and he always listened to and heeded their advice.

Elladan leaned heavily against him. If he wanted more details, he had to ask his questions now before the search party arrived. "Why was Elrond tortured, Elladan?"

"They wanted to invade Imladris... and Ada knows its defenses," mumbled Elladan, feeling entranced every time he heard his savior's voice.

"In what way is Elrond injured?" Aye, he heard the approaching riders and told Tuor to halt and turn around.

"They broke his ankles..." Elladan's eyes slipped shut. Not even that hypnotic voice could keep him from slipping into sleep much longer.

Thranduil trembled with anger at hearing Elladan's answer. /They broke his ankles?/ "And yet you trust this Lurtz?"

"He... is... different..." breathed Elladan, finally losing consciousness.

Thranduil cursed privately, feeling the half-Elf slip away from him. But at least his most important questions had been answered. Now he stared at the approaching party, making out Glorfindel at the lead. It was a good thing he had pulled his hood back into place, for Glorfindel would instantly recognize him. He waited for Glorfindel to come to a halt in front of him.

/By the Valar, he is worried./ Thranduil effortlessly read the expression in Glorfindel's eyes. The blond had one hand on the hilt of his sword and his other was already reaching for Elladan. "Peace, meldir, he is not seriously wounded."

Glorfindel sighed, relieved at seeing Elladan's eyelids flutter. "I will look after him," offered Glorfindel, eager to check on Elladan himself. During the last few hours he had been horrorstricken, scared he would find Elladan dead. Taking Elladan's dead body back to Elrond would have devastated him, for he blamed himself as well. If he had insisted on returning to his duties earlier, none of this would have happened. But nay, he had been selfish in keeping Elrond to himself.

"I would advise against moving him," said Thranduil concerned. "He is no burden to me and I will follow you to Imladris."

Glorfindel cocked his head, suddenly alert. That voice sounded familiar to him, but he couldn't identify it. "Follow me, then, and tell me what happened. Where did you find him?"

"A pack of Orcs and Uruk-Hai attacked and injured him. I passed by and helped him defeat them. The cowardly creatures ran once their leader had been killed." Thranduil watched Glorfindel closely. The blond's eyes darted nervously and his hands twitched, holding the reins. "Do not worry for the young one. He only suffered a blow to his head and one to his arm. He will recover quickly once the healers have tended to him."

"I am so relieved I found him... alive," admitted Glorfindel. "I dreaded taking his dead body to his father." Glorfindel wondered why the hood remained up. Was Elladan's savior trying to hide something from him? "But where are my manners? I am Glorfindel and Lord Elrond will be eternally grateful that you saved his son from certain death." /You have no idea how grateful I am to see Elladan alive! Elrond, melme, your son is alive!/

Thranduil nodded once. "My name is Hynduil. I was on my way home to Mirkwood when I encountered the young one." He closely observed Glorfindel; the blond realized that something didn't add up. "I will continue my journey home once this youngster has returned to the house of his father."

"You will be our guest then," said Glorfindel, trying to identity that voice. There was something bewitching about its tone.

"I am honored." Thranduil's cloak had slipped and he wrapped it around Elladan once more. "How long before we reach Imladris?"

"Two more hours at least..." He signaled his escort to follow them, hoping they wouldn't encounter any of Saruman's creatures. He wanted Elladan to see a healer as quickly as possible. Watching Elladan, he saw the twin's lips move.

"El...rohir..."

Thranduil pulled Elladan closer. "You and your brother will be reunited shortly. Do not doubt that you will see him and your father again..." He repeated the words, and then continued to whisper soft assurances, ignoring the curious looks Glorfindel was giving him. When Valthoron and Legolas had been much younger, his voice had soothed his sons, and he wanted to comfort Elladan as well. "Stay awake, Elladan. Your brother and father are already awaiting your return."

Glorfindel realized what Hynduil was doing and gave the other Elf a thankful look. "Thank you for soothing him."

Thranduil nodded once. "It is nothing. I have two sons myself and this one reminds me of my youngest."

Glorfindel remained close to Elladan, occasionally looking away to estimate the progress they were making. "One more hour... Can you keep that up?"

Thranduil simply continued to murmur soothingly, letting Elladan soak up his body heat. "Aye, I can."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Legolas noticed Glorfindel's return first. "Lurtz, they have returned! I will alert Elrond and Elrohir." Seeing Lurtz's confused expression, he added, "Meet Glorfindel and lead them here!"

Lurtz nodded reluctantly, wondering why he couldn't look after Elrond and Elrohir instead. Sighing, he descended the stairs to meet Glorfindel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Legolas opened the door and hurried towards father and son. "Elrond, Elrohir, I bring joyful news! Glorfindel has returned and Elladan is with him!"

Elrond's eyes flashed with hope, but then it faded again.

Elrohir noticed his father's dark mood. "Remember what you told me; believe." Elrohir had wrapped one arm around his father, and he placed more pillows behind his father's back, ensuring Elrond sat comfortably upright.

Elrond slowly moistened his lips and met Legolas' gaze. "By Elbereth, tell me the truth. Is my son still alive?"

"Aye," said Legolas softly. "He is alive."

Elrond trembled violently and a tear escaped his eyes. "Alive? He is alive?"

Elrohir gently scolded his father. "Ada, you know he is alive. We can both sense his life force. Do not do torment yourself like this."

"I want Elladan in my arms... I need proof," whispered Elrond in an upset tone.

"And you will have him in your arms again..." soothed Elrohir. What was taking Glorfindel so long?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glorfindel quickly dismounted and then turned to Elladan's savior. "I will take him to his father."

Thranduil leaned forward and gently lowered Elladan into Glorfindel's waiting arms. "He should see a healer."

"Aye, you are right. Lord Elrond is in no condition to tend to his son." Glorfindel looked about and spotted Lurtz, who stood waiting near the staircase. "Lurtz? I need your assistance."

Thranduil looked carefully, seeing the Uruk-Hai approach. Lurtz was dressed in brown robes and his long, black hair was braided... Mirkwood style. He grinned, his features hidden beneath the cloak. /I bet Legolas 'convinced' Lurtz to wear it that way. Legolas probably braided it himself./ In appearance, Lurtz resembled the Uruk-Hai that had attacked Elladan earlier, but the difference was in the dark eyes, not just in the clothes and his hairstyle. A solid strength was housed in that muscular body, and yet Thranduil encountered a remarkably tender expression in Lurtz's eyes. /He is a young soul; he came into existence not so long ago./

"Can I help?" enquired Lurtz softly as his eyes settled on Elladan. Dried blood clung to Elladan's brow and although the gash was closing, a few droplets of blood dripped down his face.

"Lurtz, would you go to the Healing House and fetch a healer?" Glorfindel started for the stairs, eager to reunite Elrond's family.

"Of course," said Lurtz, turning around and walking toward the Healing House.

Thranduil raised an eyebrow at Lurtz's eagerness to help. In his long life he had gathered much wisdom, and his instincts told him that Lurtz was trying to redeem himself, maybe even pay for past mistakes. /He is too eager to please.../

"Please follow me, Hynduil," said Glorfindel, climbing the stairs. Elladan moaned softly and he cradled the twin closer to his chest.

Thranduil complied, following Glorfindel as the blond headed for Elrond's rooms. /It has been centuries since I was here last./ As he reached the landing, he caught sight of Legolas, who approached them in a hurry.

"Good, you are back! Elrond and Elrohir need to see Elladan now!" Legolas stepped aside and Glorfindel rushed inside. Legolas noticed the stranger at Glorfindel's side, but didn't pay much attention to it, figuring that Glorfindel trusted the stranger if the seneschal had led him here.

Elrond sat upright in bed, supported by several pillows. He cursed the fact that he couldn't walk; now he had to wait for Glorfindel to bring him his son!

Elrohir immediately headed for Glorfindel, released a relieved sigh, and pushed his arms beneath his twin's knees and back, cradling him. "You are still alive... But what did you do to yourself?" He needed this one moment to convince himself that his brother was still alive before handing Elladan to their father. Placing Elladan on the bed next to Elrond, he found that tears were making their way down his father's face.

"Elladan..." Elrond's voice cracked, afraid to believe that his son was still alive. "What happened to him?" Elrond placed his hand on Elladan's brow, cautiously wiping away dried blood.

"Orcs and Uruk-Hai attacked him, but he was rescued just in time by Hynduil." Glorfindel signaled the other Elf to step closer to the bed. "He cared for Elladan after the fight and they were on their way to Imladris when we found them."

Elrond forced himself to look away from Elladan and to thank Hynduil for helping his son. Looking up, he briefly frowned, finding the Elf's features hidden beneath a hood. "You are among friends here," whispered Elrond, hoping Hynduil didn't mistrust them.

Thranduil quickly found an excuse for wearing the hood. "Forgive me, Lord Elrond," he started in a much heavier tone than his normal voice, "But I suffered scars from previous fights and they are not pleasant to look at." His eyes shifted from Elrond to Legolas and he was pleased to find his son in such good health. The light of his son's soul had never burned brighter before. /He is happy./ Then his gaze returned to Elrond, taking in the half-Elf's eyes battered appearance. Bruises and a gash showed on Elrond's face and he knew what the blanket was hiding: mending ankles.

"I want to thank you for saving my son's life. If there is anything I can do to repay this debt... " started Elrond, looking fondly at Elladan, who was resting in his arms. He had been afraid he would never hold his son in his arms again!

"There is no debt," said Thranduil, taking great care to speak in a different tone from that which Legolas was used to. "When he was conscious he proved to be a very charming and intelligent youngster."

Elrond smiled at the compliment. "You mean an impulsive and stubborn youngster."

Thranduil smiled silently within the confines of his hood. /We do have something in common; our sons. We care for our sons.../

A knock on the door signaled Lurtz's return and a healer quickly moved into the room to examine Elladan. Elrond watched carefully as the healer tended to his son's injuries and he briefly glanced at Hynduil again, wondering why he felt like he should know the other Elf. Seeing Elrohir wring his hands, he smiled warmly at him. "Elladan will be fine..."

Elrohir nodded gratefully, and realized that both Elrond and Glorfindel were transfixed, staring at Elladan. That meant he had to take on the role of host. "Hynduil, would you do us the honor of staying at Imladris until my father and my brother have sufficiently recovered to properly thank you?"

"No thanks are needed," said Thranduil. His eyes caught Legolas moving closer to Lurtz, placing a hand on the Uruk-Hai's back. It was a possessive gesture that made Thranduil grin. /I dare say Legolas is in charge of this relationship, and he probably winds Lurtz around his little finger as he does me./ "It was an honor to assist Elladan."

Elrohir nodded, grateful that Hynduil had looked after his twin when Elladan had needed help. "Legolas?" he turned around and looked at the Prince. "Erestor needs to know what happened and the border patrols need to be coordinated. Will you talk to Erestor and help him?"

Legolas nodded. "I will."

Elrohir then turned to Lurtz. "Will you take Hynduil to the guest rooms? I am sure he would like to take a bath and rest."

Lurtz didn't like being separated from Legolas, but agreed. "Follow me, I will show you to the guest house."

Thranduil was delighted to have an opportunity to talk to Lurtz without Legolas or the others present. Maybe now he would get his answers. "Lead on."

Legolas walked up to Lurtz, stole a kiss and smiled, saddened, leaving his love behind.

Lurtz cleared his throat, slightly uncomfortable at being kissed in public. All, expect for Hynduil, knew Legolas and he were mated, but he still wondered if he had their approval. For some reason it mattered a lot to him.

Thranduil watched Lurtz with amusement. The Uruk-Hai seemed oddly shy, almost thoughtful, and was nothing like the Uruk-Hai he had previously encountered. He fell into step beside Lurtz, studying him closely. Once more he noticed the braids and he couldn't help let something slip. "An Elf braided your hair."

Lurtz's eyes revealed his surprise at hearing that remark. "That's true. Legolas did."

Thranduil carefully plotted his next move. "Legolas?"

Lurtz nodded. "Yes, Legolas..." he hesitated, but then added, "He is my mate..."

Lurtz's answer pleased Thranduil, but also piqued his interest. "I never encountered an Elf who took an Uruk-Hai for a mate."

Lurtz's eyes darkened, feeling unfairly judged. "I tried to run, but he caught me. I told him not to pursue me, but he is stubborn. Life will never be easy for us, but he accepted that and refused to let me go. I will defend him until my last breath."

Thranduil smiled brightly beneath his hood. /He is protective of Legolas and I begin to believe that he really loves my son. Legolas, you really did hunt him down, did you not?/

Lurtz halted in his tracks, arriving at the guest quarters. "I will check for spare rooms. Please wait here."

Thranduil waited patiently for Lurtz to return, mentally reviewing everything he had learned these last few hours. Elrond was bedridden due to his injuries and Elladan and Elrohir were trying to perform their father's duties, but they were inexperienced and bound to make mistakes. And what about Glorfindel? Why had Elrond's seneschal allowed Elladan to inspect the borders alone?

"Hynduil?" Lurtz walked up to the Elf, feeling sympathy for Hynduil who was forced to hide his features because he was maimed for life. He felt like hiding himself, but Legolas wouldn't let him. "I will take you to your room."

"Aye, I will follow," said Thranduil. The warm expression in Lurtz's eyes made him wonder. /I never met anyone like him. I can understand why Legolas is attracted to him./

Lurtz opened a door and signaled for Hynduil to step inside. "I can show you to the kitchen later, if you are hungry."

Thranduil nodded once. "Thank you for your help, Lurtz. Maybe we can share dinner later?"

Surprised, Lurtz whispered a 'yes', wondering why Hynduil seemed to accept him when others stared at him in distrust.

Thranduil closed the door, walked over to the window and pushed back his hood. /My time here is limited. Elladan saw my face and I fear he will tell Elrond what he saw. Elrond will then realize I lied to him and summon me. I must make the most of the time I have left, and I will spend that time with Lurtz... and Legolas. Ah, seeing my son warmed my heart. He did look happy./

Thranduil stared at the trees and listened to their whispers for hours, letting them tell him about Imladris' beauty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Thank you for giving me back my son," whispered Elrond, in tears. Now that it was just the four of them, he finally let go and cried softly. The healer had cleaned Elladan's injuries and bandaged them again, declaring that Elladan would make a full recovery. Elrond clung to those words, hoping to never face such loss again.

Glorfindel and Elrohir exchanged a glance, knowing how important it was that Elrond realized his son had safely returned to him.

Elladan released a groan; his eyes lost their distant expression and came alive again. His head still throbbed, but it no longer resembled the agony he had been in earlier. He blinked, trying to focus on the face hovering above him. "Ada?" he stuttered in surprise. "Ada?"

"Ai, Elladan, you scared me..." Elrond pulled Elladan to his chest, ignoring the pain his broken ribs caused him. "Be more careful in the future, Elladan, for I do not wish to lose you."

Elrond loosened his embrace and Elladan finally got the chance to look at his father. "I am sorry I made you worry about me, Ada..." Cocking his head, he smiled at finding his twin brother close. "Elrohir... You sent out the search party? I knew you would sense my pain."

Elrohir sat down on the side of the bed and clasped his fingers around Elladan's. "Elladan, did you know that Ada can sense our pain as well?" He caught Elrond's distraught look, but proceeded anyway. Elladan deserved to know the truth. "We both sensed you were in pain."

Elladan's eyes widened as his gaze shifted from Elrohir to Elrond. "Is that true?"

Elrond bit his bottom lip before answering. "Aye..."

Elrohir cringed, seeing Elrond's disapproval, but shook his head. They shouldn't keep this from Elladan.

Elladan raised his right hand, which was remarkably steady and touched his father's face. "I feel better now, Ada, do you feel better too?" One look at Elrohir had told him that his twin had fully recovered, but had Elrond? Their father had been through some very rough times, and shouldn't be going through this because he had been so stupid to venture out alone.

"Now that I know you are safe I feel better, aye," smiled Ada relieved. "But you should rest, Elladan, not talk. Do you want Elrohir to take you to your room or would you like to rest here?"

Elladan searched Elrond's pleading eyes. "I will stay here with you, Ada."

Elrohir smiled, seeing the relief in their father's eyes. "I will join Erestor and Legolas then... And I must look after Elladan's savior, but I will join you for dinner."

Elladan watched his brother leave, smiling contentedly. "Maybe I should rest..." He did feel a little sleepy. "Hynduil refused to let me sleep... He was scared I had a head injury..." explained Elladan. "He has an extraordinary voice, Ada, and his eyes..." He drifted off into sleep mid-sentence.

Elrond smiled fondly at his son. "Aye, sleep and grow strong again..."

Glorfindel chose that moment to retreat to the door, wanting to give father and son some privacy. He was about to open the door when Elrond said his name.

"Glorfindel..."

Glorfindel turned to face Elrond. "No matter how much I want to belong with you and your family, I realize I cannot be included in all situations."

"You are wrong. Come here, melme." Elrond raised a hand, once more regretting he couldn't leave his bed. "You are a part of this family, Glorfindel, and you always will be. Never doubt that my sons love you dearly, and I can no longer live without you." He looked at the blond pleadingly. "Do not leave me now when I need you the most."

Glorfindel sighed, unable to deny Elrond. He walked over to the bed and sat down when Elrond pulled him close. Looking into Elrond's eyes he saw they had turned grey; they always did when Elrond felt distressed. The misty blue had faded when Elladan had been placed in Elrond's arms. Glorfindel shivered, admitting his worst fears. "I dreaded bringing Elladan's dead body back to you."

Elrond used his remaining strength to coax Glorfindel into lying down at his other side. One arm remained slung around Elladan's waist, keeping him warm and close; the other wrapped itself around Glorfindel, holding him tight. "You brought my son back to me, melethron... Now rest, knowing Elladan is safe."

Glorfindel rested his head on Elrond's shoulder, looking at Elladan as the younger half-Elf slept safely in his father's arms. /We could have lost him. I must be more careful./

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thranduil left his room, walked down the corridor and halted at hearing his son's voice. Eavesdropping, he stood silent, listening closely.

"Lurtz, I need your strength tonight..."

"Legolas? What is wrong? You seem upset..."

"Ai, the messenger returned from Mirkwood today, but carried no reply. I fear my father is displeased... I do not know what to expect."

Thranduil regretted upsetting his son like that, but he had left without writing a letter in response.

"What is the worst thing your father can do?"

"Disown me and banish me from my home. And Lurtz, my heart despairs at the thought of never seeing my father and brother again."

Thranduil shook his head. "Do you have so little faith in me?" he whispered, barely audible, not ready to reveal his presence yet.

"Legolas, you knew this could happen when you chose me as your mate. I tried to tell you, to stop you, but..."

"I would not let you," finished Legolas. "Ai, Lurtz, I love you. How could I betray my own feelings? But I hoped he would understand... He always told me to love unconditionally and not to be prejudiced and I hoped... hoped..."

Thranduil's hands turned into fists, hearing Legolas release a soft sob. He wanted to march in there and reveal himself to his son, and take Legolas in his arms. He wanted to assure Legolas that he was loved and that he was always welcome in Mirkwood, but had he gathered enough information? Was he absolutely convinced that Lurtz was the right mate for Legolas? Was he ready to reveal himself?

 

Chapter Five - Exposed

Thranduil shook his head. Nay, he didn't want to reveal himself just yet. Elladan would reveal his secret shortly, and in the mean time he planned to enjoy himself by walking through the streets of Imladris incognito.

Listening closely, he realized that Legolas and Lurtz were no longer talking; instead soft moans and whispers reached his ears. /Ai, I do not want to listen in on my son making love.../ Frowning, he quickly marched out of the corridor and into a great hall, where he had never been before. In one corner, looking out of the window, was Erestor. Thranduil decided to turn around, wanting to avoid Erestor. The dark haired Elf always was very perceptive and might realize his real identity.

Turning around, he chose another corridor, which led him outside into the beautiful gardens. The trees called to him and he sat down, resting his back against the trunk of a chestnut. Considering everything that had happened since leaving Mirkwood, he wondered about the absence of his anger, which he usually felt toward Elrond. For millennia he had blamed Elrond for the death of his father, but maybe the time had come to let go of his anger - especially now Legolas had found a temporary home here. /And after saving Elladan's life it will be hard to remain angry. I truly believe I developed a soft spot for that lad./

Hearing voices, he looked up. Legolas and Lurtz walked into the gardens as well, but they took off in the opposite direction, for which he was grateful. Now he had the chance to watch them unnoticed. Legolas' arm was wrapped around Lurtz and the Uruk-Hai laughed warmly at something his son said. Most of his worries had been laid to rest after watching them interact. He knew true love when he saw it. /Legolas, it is beyond me why you thought I would banish you from Mirkwood. Even if I did not approve of your liaison I would never stop you from coming home.../

The two men disappeared behind the trees, and Thranduil stopped spying on them. He might still be able to hear what they were saying when he strained his hearing, but he didn't want to invade their privacy.

"Hynduil?"

The soft voice took him completely by surprise, but he had enough sense left to keep the hood in place. "Elladan?" But no, this wasn't the youngster he had saved; there was no gash above his eye. "Nay, Master Elrohir," he corrected himself. He quickly rose to his feet and bowed his head in greeting. "How may I be of assistance?"

"Would you join us for dinner this evening? Elladan wants to thank you in person for saving his life, and Ada wants to talk to you as well." Elrohir watched the stranger carefully, annoyed that the hood hid his features. "Ada was right; you are among friends here. You do not have to wear that hood. None will feel offended by your scars."

Thranduil smiled secretly. Aye, he did like the twins. But was accepting the invitation a wise thing to do? /Elladan will wonder about the hood and point out to them that my face is not scarred. He will expose me./

"Hynduil? Will you give us this opportunity to thank you? You did save Elladan's life." Elrohir clasped his hands behind his back, waiting patiently.

Thranduil realized that he wouldn't be able to keep his identity a secret much longer. "Aye, I will join you for dinner. How fares Elladan? I trust one of your father's healers saw to his injuries?" Elladan had been his responsibility for a short time only, but he still felt worried.

Elrohir nodded. "Elladan should feel well enough to join us for dinner. He might still experience headaches, but he should heal quickly. I will send a servant to take you to the dining room later this evening."

Thranduil almost pointed out that he knew the way to the dining hall, but he didn't want to make Elrohir suspicious. "I will be there."

Elrohir nodded once and walked toward the great hall where he hoped to find Erestor. Now that his father was confined to his room, they had to take care of urgent matters.

Thranduil watched the half-Elf leave and then settled down beneath the tree once more, enjoying the warm rays of the sun, which looked like liquid gold. He knew very well that his love for white gems and silver gave him the reputation of being greedy, but the pure and untouched jewels delighted him. Feeling at peace and comfortable, he allowed himself to drift off for a short nap. The trees would warn him should anyone approach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elrond dotingly looked at his eldest son, still resting in his arms. Glorfindel had excused himself when the sun had set, claiming he needed to check on the preparations for dinner, as this evening was special; they celebrated Elladan's safe return, and would honor the young half-Elf's savior. "Elladan? It is time for you to wake up. You might want to wash up and change for dinner."

Elladan's sleep had been a healing one. The gash above the eye was beginning to close and a shallow cut showed beneath the bandages around his arm. He expected Elladan to have dizzy spells for some time, but his son should be able to take care of himself once more. "Elladan?"

Elladan stirred reluctantly, burying his face in his father's robes. "Do not wake me... sleep..."

Elrond smiled warmly. "You can go back to sleep after dinner, Elladan. But now you must wake up."

Elladan's eyes came alive and they focused on his father. "Ada..." How had he gotten back home? The last thing he remembered was Hynduil telling him to stay awake. Elrond's eyes sparkled with happiness, but he sensed his father had been sad, crying. "Ada, I regret scaring you like that. I never expected that party of Orcs and Uruk-Hai to show up."

"Thankfully Hynduil came along," whispered Elrond, brushing back strands of black hair behind his son's ears.

"Aye, I was very fortunate..." Finally fully wakening up, Elladan stretched lazily. "But enough about me, how do you fare, Ada? Are you still in pain?"

"My ribs still feel tender, but they are healing." Elrond smiled saddened.

"And your ankles?"

"It will be weeks before I can walk again." Elrond stroked his son's hair. "Elladan, never scare me like that again! I feared I had lost you."

Elladan returned the smile. "Ada, you won't lose me."

Elrond placed a paternal kiss on his son's brow. "Now take a bath and change into clean clothes. I asked Hynduil to join us for dinner so we may properly thank him. I take it you approve?" Frowning, he wondered about the blush that spread on Elladan's face.

"Aye, I approve..." Elladan suddenly felt nervous. Hynduil had saved his life and maybe it was a case of ill-timed hero worship, but he was falling for the other Elf. /Stop it. Why should he be interested in me? He is a skilled and experienced warrior judging by the way he handled those Orcs... He probably thinks I am nothing but a child.../

"Elladan?" The frown deepened. "It is normal that you feel grateful, for Hynduil saved your life... Or did something else happen that you did not tell me?"

Elladan cringed, unable to reveal his feelings just yet. /What do you want me to say, Ada? That I was lost after looking into those eyes? For a moment I thought I was walking the heavens and that the stars surrounded me./

Elrond took pity on his son. "Elladan, clean up and change your clothes. Dinner will be served in a few moments and you do not want to be late."

Elladan locked eyes with his father. "Will you attend dinner as well?"

"Aye," said Elrond softly, "Glorfindel offered to carry me."

"I would gladly carry you as well, Ada," he said adoringly. Elrond was very important at him. His father had practically raised them, whilst Celebrian had spent a lot of time in 'Lorien. Elrohir and he had grown up, loved by their father, Erestor and Glorfindel. Although they hadn't been able to take their mother's place, Elrohir and he had never felt like they were missing out on something. Their unconditional love had made them into the men they were today, and Elrohir and he loved them for it.

"I know that, Elladan... You always make me proud."

Elladan shuffled his feet at hearing his father's praise. He hugged Elrond gently, careful not to put any pressure on his father's ribs and then got to his feet. "I will see you at dinner then..." Elladan reached the doorway and looked over his shoulder at his father. "I do not know about you but Hynduil certainly intrigues me. I never saw stars shine from someone eyes before, and although he looks like he is younger than me, he feels ancient. I am looking forward to talking to him some more!" Elladan dashed into the corridor and headed for his rooms.

Elrond gasped in surprise at hearing Elladan's words. "Stars in his eyes? He looks young, but feels ancient? By Elbereth, I only know one Elf who..." His voice faltered, suddenly growing worried. "It cannot be him. Why would Thranduil leave Mirkwood? And why would he save my son's life? Maybe he did not know it was Elladan when he saved him, but... Why look after him and take him here? It would explain the hood; he would not want me to recognize him. By the Grace of the Valar, this is bad... What is Thranduil up to? I..."

"Elrond? Meleth-nîn?" Glorfindel was startled at hearing his love ranting and quickly hurried over to Elrond's side. Sitting down, he clasped the half-Elf's hands in his. "What is wrong?"

Elrond shook his head. "Nay, I must be wrong. It cannot be Thranduil. He would never look after one of my sons..."

Glorfindel grew concerned, seemingly unable to stop Elrond's monologue. "Melme?" He placed his hands on either side of Elrond's head and forced his lover to look at him. "Why are you talking about Thranduil?" What had happened during his absence?

Elrond shivered. "Elladan described his savior's face to me... An ageless face with starlit eyes. Now whom does that remind you of?"

"Thranduil." Now Glorfindel understood. "I already wondered about his voice, which sounded familiar. How will we proceed?"

"He saved Elladan..." Elrond felt at a loss. "Though I wonder why. Dinner must go on as planned, and we will pretend ignorance."

"Does Elladan know who saved him?" Glorfindel soothingly rubbed Elrond's back, trying to reassure the half-Elf. Every time when he thought Elrond was growing stronger, something happened that upset him. It would take Elrond a long time to heal that way.

"Nay, I do not think so... By Elbereth, he blushed..." Elrond's heart raced. "Elladan cannot fall in love with him; he cannot!"

"Love?" Glorfindel slowly pulled Elrond against his chest. "You think Elladan fell in love with Thranduil because he blushed when you mentioned the King's name? Are you not a little hasty?" He felt worried himself now. "You must be wrong." Hynduil had acted nothing like the Thranduil he remembered. "Maybe he changed?"

"Who? Thranduil?" Elrond laughed bitterly. "He will always blame me for his father's death, meleth-nîn. He will never let go of his resentment. Thranduil probably did not know who Elladan was when he rescued my son..."

Glorfindel waited for Elrond to calm down. The half-Elf leaned against him, resting his head against his shoulder.

"What are his plans? Why did he come here? And why am I incapacitated at a time like this?" Elrond briefly closed his eyes. "If it is truly Thranduil, we have a problem on our hands."

"Let us see how dinner goes," advised Glorfindel calmly. "Maybe it is not Thranduil and you are worrying for no reason at all."

"But it -is- Thranduil," said Elrond, frustrated.

Glorfindel soothed his love, rubbing Elrond's back and stroking his hair. "I will help you change into your ceremonial robes and then I will carry you to the dining hall. I will not leave your side, melethron."

Reassured by his lover's promise, Elrond sighed wearily. "I must protect Elladan..."

Glorfindel tucked Elrond's head beneath his chin. "Elladan reached maturity long ago, Elrond. He can make his own decisions..."

Elrond knew Glorfindel was right, but... "They will always be the little ones; the babies we cared for. I will always worry about them."

"I understand," soothed Glorfindel. "Now let us get you ready for dinner."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Elrohir!" Elladan dashed into his brother's room and dropped onto Elrohir's bed.

"How do you fare?" asked Elrohir, turning around after finishing braiding his hair. Studying Elladan, he caught an unfamiliar expression in those mischievous eyes. His brother had bathed, changed into brown robes, and was now staring at the ceiling.

"Elrohir? You have been in love before..." He rolled onto his stomach, and smiled at his brother. "Did you also have such a... tingling feeling in your stomach?"

Elrohir nodded. "Aye, I did... Are you in love then?"

"I might be..." Elladan sighed deeply, smiling fondly. "Did you see the stars in his eyes?"

Elrohir felt lost. "-Which- stars in -whose- eyes? Elladan, who are you talking about?" He moved over to the bed and sat down next to his brother, sensing Elladan's happiness.

"Hynduil's!" Elladan shook his head. "How could you not notice? I have never seen an Elf more beautiful... My blood sang when he looked at me, and his voice..." Dreamily, he stared at Elrohir. "Seriously, how could you not notice?"

Elrohir frowned. "Hynduil refused to remove his hood, claiming his face was scarred."

Elladan, startled, sat upright. His eyes had widened at Elrohir's words and he shook his head. "His face is not scarred. It is ageless, beautiful, bewitching. I could not tell how old he was... He -looked- even younger than me, but those eyes..."

"I do not like this," whispered Elrohir. "Why would he lie to us? He also told Ada that he was scarred."

Elladan's cheerfulness faded quickly. "I do not understand." Was Hynduil playing games? Why hide from his father? Elrond would never mistreat an Elf, let alone one who had saved his son from certain death.

"Elladan," said Elrohir in a soft, compassionate tone, "be careful with your feelings. You might be falling for an imposter." He hated seeing the disappointment on his brother's face but he had to dampen Elladan's enthusiasm. "Did you tell Ada about the stranger's eyes?"

"Aye, but I hurried out of the room and I do not know how he reacted..." Suddenly, he seemed to shrink into himself. "Stupid me, why did I fall for him? I thought..." Elrohir's hand squeezed his shoulder, offering comfort, but he still felt disappointed and lonely. "I was falling in love with him."

"Guard your feelings well," advised Elrohir, "and do not despair. You will find love when the time is right."

Listlessly, Elladan nodded his head. He had been looking forward to dinner, but now he dreaded it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thranduil sensed the tension in the hall when he approached the dinner table. Elrond was already sitting at the head of the table with Glorfindel close to his right. The twins now seated themselves as well and he marveled at their likeness, but yet he easily identified Elladan. He would never mistake one for the other.

"Please sit down, as you are our guest of honor," said Glorfindel calmly, knowing Elrond didn't trust his voice. His lover had acted nervously since Elladan had told him about the stranger's eyes. What if it was Thranduil?

"Thank you." Thranduil sat down opposite Elrond and scanned their expressions. Elrond looked haggard and suspicious. Glorfindel carefully masked his feelings, but he read mistrust and disappointment in Elladan's eyes; the half-Elf was still too young to carefully hide his emotions. /They found me out... They know who I am./

Elrond gave Glorfindel a thankful look when the blond gently entwined their fingers beneath the table. Clearing his throat, Elrond prepared himself for the dreaded confrontation. "Maybe you should remove your hood, for my son tells me that you do not bear any scars that might offend us. Instead he speaks of starlit eyes... Why?"

Thranduil sighed resignedly and pulled back the hood, revealing his features. He heard Elrohir's surprised gasp, and Elladan averted his eyes when he tried to make eye contact. Glorfindel and Elrond didn't seem surprised; they had expected this, but he did feel like he owed Elladan an explanation.

Elrond was about to say something, when Thranduil spoke first. He swallowed his words, hearing Thranduil address Elladan.

"Elladan? I regret misleading you, but I was unwilling to reveal myself to you..." Thranduil saw even more questions in Elladan's eyes.

"But I do not understand," whispered Elladan. "Why hide your face, Hynduil? Why tell Ada and Elrohir you are scarred?"

"Ai..." Thranduil's fair features briefly contorted. Looking at Elrond and Glorfindel he said, "You did not tell them who I am?"

"We were not sure," admitted Elrond. "I could not believe you would care for one of my sons... considering our past." Searching out Elladan's eyes, he wished there was a way to not hurt his son with this revelation. "Hynduil is not his real name..."

Elladan's eyes widened in surprise. "What?"

Elrohir reacted instinctively, claiming his brother's hand and holding it tight to show his support. His gaze traveled from his brother to the stranger. He had to admit that Elladan was right; the unknown Elf possessed a haunting beauty. /But who is he? Why not use his real name?/

Elrond locked eyes with Thranduil. "Will you tell them, or must I reveal your identity to them?" His fears had come true. For some elusive reason Thranduil had left Mirkwood and had saved his eldest son. Why?

"I will tell them..." Thranduil once more sought out Elladan's eyes, which simmered with suspicion. "I am Thranduil and I reign in Mirkwood. Legolas is my youngest son."

Elladan gasped, shocked, and jumped to his feet. Elrohir tightened the hold he had on his brother's hand, making sure Elladan couldn't run. "You are Thranduil?" His eyes narrowed in distrust. "But you hate Ada!"

"Hate... Hate is too strong a word," soothed Thranduil. "We had some differences in the past, some arguments, but I do not hate him." Suddenly he realized he was babbling and he composed himself again. He felt angry with himself for misleading Elladan. The trust he had seen earlier in the youngster's eyes was gone now. That hurt.

"Why are you here, Thranduil?" Elrond hated being unable to rise from his chair. He would have preferred to have this conversation while glaring down at Thranduil. Now he felt at a disadvantage.

Thranduil wasn't surprised to see the distrust in Elrond's eyes. They hadn't parted as friends. "I came here because I am worried about Legolas. He wrote me about Lurtz, about taking him as his mate. I had to make sure my son had chosen a worthy mate."

"Legolas," snapped Elrohir, "is your son and he does not know you are here? Do you know how worried he has been? Ever since sending that letter he has been losing weight!"

"I will talk to Legolas tonight." Thranduil got to his feet and began pacing the hall; eyes stung his back and he no longer felt welcome. "I should leave now."

"Wait!" Elladan jumped to his feet and marched over to Thranduil, losing himself once more in those star filled eyes. "Why save my life when Ada and you do not get along?"

Thranduil smiled saddened, and he returned Elladan's probing gaze. "I did not know who you were, but I would have saved you, even had I known you were Elrond's son."

Elladan took a step away from Thranduil and promptly bumped into Glorfindel who stood behind him, glaring at Thranduil. He felt confused, sensing that Thranduil was sincere, but at the same time his father radiated a hostility, mirrored by Glorfindel. "Ada?" Lost, he looked to his father for emotional support.

Elrond bit his bottom lip, trying to rise from his chair, but Elrohir immediately appeared at his side, gently pushing him down.

"Do not dare to rise from your chair, Ada," warned Elrohir. "You are to rest, not walk!"

Glorfindel feared the situation might escalate and quickly stepped in front of Elladan, blocking the twin's line of sight. "Thranduil, Imladris is eternally indebted to you for saving Elladan..."

Thranduil politely inclined his head. "As I said earlier, there is no debt. Elladan fought bravely but was greatly outnumbered. I was honored to help him."

Elrond's expression softened at hearing the sincerity in Thranduil's voice. Maybe he had judged too quickly. "Dinner is about to be served... Will you stay?" It was a peace offering he hoped Thranduil would accept... for Elladan's sake. His eldest son looked confused and his heart went out to Elladan. /Thranduil, accept... please./

Thranduil stared at Elrond, receiving a faint echo of those thoughts. "I accept. I will stay for dinner..." /But only because of Elladan./ Maybe he would find a way to explain to Elladan why he had decided against revealing his identity.

Elladan returned to his seat and Elrohir released the grip he had on his father's shoulder. His eyes silently begged forgiveness from his father for stopping him, and when Elrond smiled, Elrohir sat down once more, staring at Thranduil.

Thranduil took his seat again and they remained silent whilst the food was being served. Once they were alone again, Thranduil sought out Elrond's gaze. "I decided to see for myself what kind of... man Lurtz was and I did not want Legolas to know they were being watched. I feel satisfied that their bond is true, but I had to make sure myself. I hope you understand, being a father yourself."

"That does not explain why you remained silent when you returned Elladan to me," said Elrond slowly. "You told me your face was scarred."

Thranduil expected that question. "I was not sure I would be welcome here, so I kept silent. I needed time to observe Lurtz and my son."

Elrond had to admit Thranduil's words made sense. "You approve of his choice? I must say that surprises me..." Fatigue was growing on him. Sitting upright put pressure on his mending ribs and his ankles throbbed with pain once more. He craved lying down, but he couldn't leave now.

Thranduil inclined his head, sensing Elrond's exhaustion. "Aye, I approve and I will tell him so." Eating some of the fruits and lembas, his attention remained focused on Elrond and Glorfindel, catching a glance of them holding hands. "You seem tired; would you not prefer to retire and rest?"

Elrond raised an eyebrow in surprise at Thranduil's tone. /He sounds worried!/ "I am fine," he said stubbornly, ignoring the disapproving look Glorfindel gave him. He was tired, and his lover knew it as well.

Glorfindel cradled Elrond's hand in his. "Maybe our guest is right; you look tired."

Elrond shook his head; he disliked them teaming up against him!

"Ada, you should retire," said Elrohir concerned. "Will you allow me to take you to your rooms?"

Glorfindel moved faster and lifted a protesting Elrond in his arms. "I will carry him, Elrohir... But you may accompany us and tend to his injuries."

Elrond scolded his lover, but Glorfindel continued anyway. Looking at Thranduil, Elrond cringed at the amused expression in the Elf's eyes.

Thranduil smiled, nodded once and then concentrated on Elladan.

As they disappeared into the corridor, Elrond was still protesting, but Glorfindel effectively silenced the half-Elf by kissing him. Elrond moaned softly, resting a hand at the back of Glorfindel's neck. "You should not have done that," said Elrond chidingly once Glorfindel had released his lips. "Thranduil will think me weak; you lifting and carrying me like that..."

"Does it matter what he thinks?" asked Glorfindel.

Elrohir opened the door to his father's private rooms and let them pass. He uncovered several soothing balms and clean bandages to wrap around his father's ribcage. Elrond and Glorfindel were kissing, touching, moaning, and Elrohir blushed, quickly moving back to the door and closing it; he could tend to his father's injuries later. /I draw the line at watching them make out.../ he thought amused. /Now, how fares Elladan...?/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unable to stay seated any longer, Elladan rose and paced the hall, occasionally glancing at his savior. /Thranduil... Legolas' father rescued me... And it is obvious Ada and he do not get along.../ What was he supposed to do? Butterflies still tickled his insides and he tried to ignore the sensation, but one look at those starlit eyes made his heart flutter in his chest. /I cannot fall in love with him.../

"I wish you had told me who you were..." Elladan felt cheated.

"I regret not speaking the truth," said Thranduil, getting to his feet and walking over to Elladan. "But I needed to observe Legolas whilst my son was unaware of my presence. I knew you would expose me quickly because you had seen my face. My eyes set me apart from other Elves and..." He grew quiet, seeing the thoughtful expression in Elladan's eyes. "You have become very dear to me in a short time. I would like to earn your trust and friendship, but..." He had to return to Mirkwood shortly and he wasn't sure there was enough time to mend the friendship that had formed between them. "But I am willing to try if you are."

Elladan felt truly lost. Thranduil confused him; when looking at the ageless face he had a hard time seeing an ancient Elf. He saw someone his own age, someone he really, really liked, but... /He is of Ada's age and the ruler of Mirkwood. I cannot lose my heart to him, no matter what he looks like./

"Elladan?" Thranduil involuntarily held his breath, awaiting Elladan's answer. "Or would you rather see me leave as quickly as possible? I understand if you feel betrayed."

Elladan sighed depressed, but then he lifted his eyes and looked at the sparkling stars in Thranduil's silver orbs. "I would like to try again as well, but no more deception."

Thranduil smiled relieved. "No more deception, Elladan, son of Elrond."

Elladan wondered if he had made the right decision. How would his father react?

"Elladan? Do not worry too much." Thranduil slowly raised a hand and rested it on Elladan's shoulder. "We will speak again tomorrow, aye? I need to seek out Legolas now and talk to my son."

Elladan nodded once. The tingling sensation had intensified at Thranduil's touch. "Aye, we will talk tomorrow."

 

Chapter Six - Father and Son

Thranduil pulled the hood back in place before leaving the dining hall and now headed for his son's rooms. He wasn't sure they had already returned from visiting the gardens, but he was determined to talk to Legolas tonight.

Dinner had been a pleasant surprise. He had expected to be exposed, but Elrond repeating his dinner invitation had surprised him. To be more precise; Elrond had surprised him in more ways than one. The half-Elf didn't look well. Elrond should be recovering a lot faster than he was, but worries kept the ruler of Imladris from healing. Elrond had seemed more vulnerable than ever before and he had caught the half-Elf's remark to Glorfindel that he worried about being seen as weak. /It is his ankles. The fact that he cannot walk must be hard on him./

And then there had been Glorfindel, secretly reaching beneath the table to take Elrond's hand in his. Now that hadn't been a surprise. He had always suspected that Glorfindel had feelings for Elrond. What did surprise him was Elrond accepting those feelings and returning them. /But no-one should have to live without a mate./ He felt the temptation as well to take a new lover, but hadn't acted on his feelings, never encountering someone he could envision sharing his life with.

/And I regret betraying Elladan's trust... Seeing the betrayal in those young eyes made me feel guilty, but I had no choice; I could not reveal myself to him. I will make things up to him./

Thranduil reached the corridor his son's rooms were in and he came to a halt in front of the door to Legolas' quarters. Listening closely, he heard soft, steady breathing. "Ai, they are asleep..." He didn't want to wake them, but they had to talk tonight. After knocking on the door, he waited for them to wake up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Legolas startled awake, sat upright and locked eyes with Lurtz. "Who would wake us in the midst of the night?"

"Go find out," said Lurtz, slightly annoyed at having his sleep interrupted.

"You will have to let me go first," said Legolas teasingly.

Lurtz smiled, briefly tightened his hold before letting the Elf go, and kept a close eye on the blond as Legolas made his way over to the door. He loved the way Legolas melted against him when the Elf fell asleep in his arms.

Knowing that they were safe within Imladris, Legolas refrained from reaching for his hunting knives when he opened the door. "Hynduil? Is there anything you need?" Hynduil had saved Elladan's life and for that he felt grateful.

Lurtz pushed down the covers and got to his feet as well. He felt a little more suspicious of Hynduil than Legolas and joined his lover at the door.

"I bring a message from your father, King Thranduil," said Thranduil, seeing fear in Legolas' eyes.

Legolas involuntarily held his breath at those words. "My father sent you?" Dread and fear swept through him. Why would his father sent a messenger? /He is going to banish me from Mirkwood and he does not want to do it by letter. By Elbereth, I cannot bear the thought of never going home again./

Lurtz quickly wrapped an arm around Legolas' waist, feeling the tension and apprehension coursing through his lover's body. "Please enter and close the door behind you," said Lurtz, addressing Hynduil. None needed to hear how Legolas was disowned and banished.

Legolas leaned heavily against Lurtz, trying to not show his raging emotions, but his hands twitched nervously. "What message do you carry?" His voice trembled and his head slumped forward in defeat. "Am I banished from Mirkwood?"

Thranduil's heart went out to his son. "Do you have such little faith in me?" He pushed back the hood, revealing himself.

Legolas' eyes widened at the shock of seeing his father this unexpectedly. "Ada?" he stammered slowly.

Lurtz had heard the twins call Elrond that. "Are you Legolas' father?" He held Legolas even more protectively, glaring at Thranduil.

"Aye," said Thranduil. "I am Legolas' sire..." He raised a hand and gently wiped away the tears that escaped Legolas' eyes. Seeing the distress his son was in, he quickly spoke. "I would never banish you from Mirkwood, Legolas. You are always welcome at home. Your brother misses you and so do I."

Slightly reassured, Legolas raised a shaky hand to touch his father's face. He couldn't believe Thranduil was really here. "Ada? I do not understand..."

"Why do we not sit down?" Thranduil felt concerned, seeing the pallor on Legolas' face. His son was distressed, shaking, and tears continued their way down his face.

Lurtz reacted at once, guiding Legolas back to their bed, where he sat him down. He glared at Thranduil, but a hint of surprise lay in that stare. He would never have guessed that the Elf in front of him was Legolas' father. The only thing the two Elves shared was the long, blond, braided hair. The silver, starlit eyes were strangely alluring, and Thranduil looked even younger than Legolas. "You could have revealed yourself earlier! Do you have any idea of the torment you put him through?" Lurtz rubbed Legolas' back with long, soothing strokes. "He hasn't eaten for the last two days because he was afraid you would banish him!"

Thranduil stood next to his son, studying Legolas. When his son finally looked up and met his gaze, he said, "I needed to know for sure that you had chosen a worthy mate. I watched the two of you..."

Legolas' breathing quickened. "You watched us?" Oh, Elbereth, why had his father done that?

"Be at ease, Legolas," said Thranduil, resting a hand on his son's shoulder. "I was pleased with what I saw. I think you chose well."

Lurtz's eyes widened in surprise. Thranduil was giving them his blessing? Making eye contact, he wondered about Thranduil. The elder Elf had hidden his identity, had watched them and approved of their relationship?

Legolas grabbed his father's hand frantically and cradled it against his chest. Thranduil was forced to sit on his heels to maintain eye contact. Legolas mumbled something intelligible, but then grew quiet again.

Thranduil smiled reassuringly at his son. "Your brother sends you his best wishes and congratulates you on finding a new mate. I had to leave him in charge to visit here... I hope I still have a realm to rule when I return to Mirkwood," said Thranduil jokingly. It worked. Legolas smiled weakly. "I would never banish you from your home," repeated he, hoping to make Legolas understand that he was loved and welcome in Mirkwood. "You are my son, Legolas, and I love you."

Lurtz smiled, seeing understanding dawn in his lover's eyes. "Your father loves you," repeated Lurtz, caressing his lover's face. "You can stop worrying."

Legolas nodded slowly, squeezed his father's hand, but refused to release it yet. Slowly things were making sense. "You saved Elladan..."

"Aye," whispered Thranduil. "Elladan was lucky that I was on my way to Imladris."

"And you helped him..." Legolas frowned. "But you never liked Elrond and his family."

Thranduil brushed a stray lock from his son's face. "You know me better than that, Legolas. I cannot turn my back on someone in need."

"And if you had known Elladan's identity?"

"I would have helped," said Thranduil. "My heart has softened through the years..."

Legolas nodded again. "But why the hood? Why tell us your face was scarred?"

Thranduil explained patiently. "I wanted to watch you and Lurtz... I wanted my identity to remain secret."

"But you told me now!" Legolas stared at his father in obvious confusion.

"I approve of your choice," said Thranduil, rubbing his son's knuckles. "Lurtz and you will always be welcome at Mirkwood."

Lurtz's eyes revealed his obvious surprise. "I never thought you would approve. I am Uruk-Hai and..."

Thranduil looked at both of them, answering Lurtz's question. "I told my sons to love unconditionally and never turn their back on love when they found it. I also taught them to not let other people's opinions stop them. I cannot blame them for following my teachings..." Thranduil stroked his son's hair, relieved that Legolas was finally calming down. "I already apologized to Elladan for not revealing my identity and... Legolas, do you understand why I did it?"

"Aye," whispered Legolas, smiling at his father. "You always were protective of us..."

"And even more so of you because you are my youngest." Thranduil smiled dotingly at his son. "Did I take away your worries?"

Legolas nodded once, but still maintained his hold on his father's hands. "Can you stay a little longer? I missed you..."

Lurtz stepped away from the two Elves, wanting to give them some privacy, but halted in his tracks when Thranduil's eyes sought out his.

"You do not have to leave," said Thranduil, addressing Lurtz. "You are a part of this family now."

Lurtz felt at a loss for words. The last thing he had expected was for Thranduil to accept him unconditionally. /He must love Legolas deeply if his son's happiness means this much to him./ Lurtz pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat down, watching father and son; Thranduil's appearance still puzzled him. How could it be that the ancient Elf looked this young?

Thranduil allowed Legolas to pull him onto the bed. Resting his back against the wall, he pulled his son into an embrace, gently stroking the long hair. They had often fallen asleep like that before Legolas had reached maturity, but usually Valthoron had been there as well. The absence of their mother had made it so much more important that they had felt loved and Thranduil had often despaired when Legolas had given him a lost look, missing his mother. "Go back to sleep, Legolas," said Thranduil softly, feeling his son's body relax against his. "All is well."

Legolas still trembled slightly and he reached for Lurtz, who promptly took hold of his hand, caressing it. Feeling loved and cherished, Legolas smiled and it remained on his face when he drifted off into sleep.

Lurtz and Thranduil's gazes met and it was the Uruk-Hai who spoke first. "Did you mean it? Am I now a part of your family?" Or had Thranduil merely -pretended- he accepted this relationship?

Thranduil sensed Lurtz's disbelief and apprehension. "I meant it. I would never lie to my son. You are welcome at Mirkwood as well."

"He was so afraid you'd disown and banish him." Lurtz's adoringly smiled at Legolas, who looked at peace in his sleep.

Thranduil frowned. "I did not realize he was that worried. Maybe I should stay a few days until he fully realizes that I am sincere."

"Legolas would like that..." Lurtz leaned back in the chair, watching them. The frown had faded from Legolas' face, making him look even younger. "All that matters to me is his happiness. Your son is very special and precious to me."

Thranduil grinned. "Aye, I raised him well! He turned out to be a very skilled warrior and a compassionate and intelligent Elf."

Lurtz grinned as well. "You did a good job." It amazed him how easy he got along with Thranduil. A welcome surprise.

Thranduil continued to stroke his son's hair and occasionally he mumbled reassurances when Legolas' sleep became restless. "I am here, Legolas..."

Lurtz's eyes closed involuntarily, feeling relieved now that he knew Thranduil approved of their relationship.

Thranduil noticed that Lurtz had fallen asleep as well and watched over them until the sun rose again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Elrohir?" Erestor entered Elrond's study, never expecting to find the Lord's youngest son behind his father's desk. "What are you doing here? Morning has come and you have not slept yet." Neither had he. Since Elrond's kidnapping, Erestor had looked after all affairs, bothering a recovering Elrond as little as possible.

Elrohir looked up from the reports he was reading. "Orcs were sighted near the northern borders. We need to increase the numbers of patrols. We cannot allow them to slip through."

"I will look in to it," said Erestor calmly. "Get some sleep, Elrohir."

Elrohir shook his head. "I am not tired." His eyes widened as a yawn proved him wrong. "Well, maybe I am... just a little." Studying Erestor's face he noticed the dark circles beneath the brown eyes. "You look tired as well."

Erestor shrugged once and sat down opposite the desk. "Elrond is sorely missed. A lot of matters are urgent and demand careful planning."

"And now you have to do that all by yourself. Ada cannot help you."

Erestor smiled. "Usually it is the other way around; I assist your father, Elrohir. I take my directions from him."

Elrohir leaned back in his chair, placing the papers aside. "Ada will be bedridden for at least three more weeks."

"I was thinking about that..." Erestor moistened his lips, suddenly acting nervously. "When I was a child I once slipped from a cliff and I broke both my legs. Even with my healing ability aiding me it still took weeks to recover. My father designed a chair on wheels for me so I could still move around. Maybe Elrond would like one as well?"

"A chair on wheels?" Elrohir raised an eyebrow. "That does sound interesting. Would you be able to construct one?"

"Maybe," said Erestor, "I remember the design, but... I am not good at crafts. I was hoping you could build it with my instructions."

Elrohir wondered about the blush that crept over Erestor's face. /Why is he nervous? The idea sounds splendid. He has no reason to be nervous.../

Erestor unexpectedly rose from the chair and started for the door. It almost resembled an attempt to flee the room and Elrohir acted instinctively. "We should build it together."

Erestor stopped in his tracks. "Together?"

The surprised tone in his former mentor's voice made Elrohir frown. /Erestor, you are confusing me. What is this all about?/

"I like that idea," whispered Erestor, quickly risking a look over his shoulder. "I will collect the necessary items."

Elrohir nodded. "Bring them here. I want to see the look on Ada's face when he sees this chair on wheels."

"I will be back," said Erestor in a soft tone before vanishing into the corridor.

"What was that about? Why the blush? Why act surprised when I suggested building it together? Ah, maybe he did not sleep enough these last few days... That reminds me; I need to get some sleep as well." Elrohir got to his feet and closed the door behind him. The corridor was empty; Erestor had vanished. "I will tell him to rest... He has probably worked hard, forgetting to take the occasional break." Now that his father was still recovering, he felt it was his responsibility to look after the welfare of his people, and Erestor was a good friend... He would make sure Erestor rested as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glorfindel helped Elrond to sit upright, pushing several large pillows around the half-Elf's form to make sure he was supported. "The cook sent some Lembas and soup." He sat down beside his lover and handed Elrond the bowl filled with hot soup.

Elrond gratefully accepted the food; his stomach growled and he devoured the soup.

"Here, have some more." Glorfindel refilled the bowl and watched his lover eat the Lembas as well. Elrond had woken a few minutes ago from a restless sleep. Thranduil appearing unannounced obviously kept the Lord of Imladris from resting peacefully. "You look worried."

Elrond finished the soup and Lembas and handed Glorfindel the now empty bowl. "Aye, I am worried... about Thranduil and Elladan."

"I can understand your worry where Thranduil is concerned, but Elladan has made a full recovery. You need not worry about him." Glorfindel rested his back against the head end of the bed and carefully wrapped an arm around Elrond's shoulder, holding his love close.

Elrond briefly closed his eyes; remembering the blush that had played on Elladan's face earlier. "I am afraid Elladan might fall in love with Thranduil."

Glorfindel's eyes widened in surprise. "And how did you reach that conclusion, melme?"

"He blushed when I mentioned his savior... I think he fell in love with the stars in his eyes." Elrond leaned back, resting his head on Glorfindel's shoulder. "We need to keep a close eye on him."

"Elladan's first crush," teased Glorfindel.

"It is the subject of that crush that worries me."

"Do you think Thranduil will... hurt Elladan?" Glorfindel considered the matter; it was impossible to predict what would happen should Thranduil find out about Elladan's crush.

"I hope not..." Elrond sighed concerned. "Elladan is still young and it is the first time ever that he developed such feelings. It makes sense; Thranduil saved his life and cared for him. Thranduil is his hero and..."

Glorfindel pressed his lips onto Elrond's, silencing his lover. "Do not worry too much, meleth-nîn. Elladan is an adult. We will try to keep him from getting hurt but..."

"It is a lesson he needs to learn... It won't be the last time that his heart will be broken."

Glorfindel's eyes narrowed, considering an option he didn't want to explore. "What if Thranduil develops feelings for Elladan as well?"

Elrond's stunned gasp echoed through the room. "He is of my age, Glorfindel... Elladan is nothing but a child to him. If he dares to play with my son's heart I will have him removed from Imladris irregardless of the consequences."

Glorfindel decided not to push the matter. /But when I looked into Thranduil's eyes I saw real concern, real interest there. The fact that Elladan felt betrayed mattered to him. Elrond might not want to acknowledge this possibility, but there is a chance Elladan might become important to Thranduil. Ai, melethron, if only I could take you away from here for just a few weeks so you can concentrate on healing.../

"Nin bellas, what are you thinking of? There is a distant look in your eyes." Elrond probed the sapphire eyes. No matter what happened in the future, he could always depend on Glorfindel.

"I am thinking of how much I want to take you away from here and spend a few, quiet weeks with you... Just the two of us. Envision it; being away from it all."

Elrond smiled saddened. "I would love to spend time with you, but I am needed here. I cannot leave... There is so much to do, so much to attend to and... I am already behind because I cannot walk..."

Glorfindel placed a kiss on the top of Elrond's head. "But if there were a possibility you would take it?"

"Aye," smiled Elrond dreamily, indulging himself by imagining the impossible. "Within a heartbeat."

A wicked gleam appeared in Glorfindel's eyes. /Maybe there is a way.../

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thranduil slowly untangled himself from his son's long limbs and left the bed. Legolas was still sound asleep; night's revelations had taken its emotional toll on his son. A noise made him look up and he stared into Lurtz's eyes. The Uruk-Hai was already awake and watching them. "Here, take my place." He signaled Lurtz to lie down whilst he headed for the doorway. "I will talk to Legolas later today. Please assure him that my visit was real and that I love him."

Lurtz nodded once, lying down and pulling Legolas to his chest. The Elf sighed contently and never woke up. "I will tell him," assured Lurtz Thranduil.

Thranduil softly closed the door behind him, not wanting to wake his youngest son and walked down the corridor, heading for the gardens. The sun was rising and he wanted to greet the new day whilst out in the open.

Drawing in a deep breath, he stepped beneath the trees. He studied the sky for long moments, sensing the rain that would pour down later today. A hesitant sun rose from the darkness, shining weakly. He placed his hands on the trunk of an oak and briefly closed his eyes, allowing himself to become one with nature for a short moment.

"What are you doing?"

Elladan's voice broke the spell and he blinked once. Removing his hands from the tree, Thranduil slowly turned around. "Is it not a bit early for you to be up already? I thought you would like to rest after suffering that blow to your head." Elladan stood half hidden behind a tree, watching him closely. Thranduil smiled, seeing the puzzlement in the twin's brown eyes. "You are wondering what I was doing?"

Elladan nodded once. Visions of Thranduil had haunted his dreams last night and he had risen early from his restless sleep, preferring to spend some time at the bathes instead of wrestling with those visions in his bed. He had braided his hair and changed into a pair of brown robes. When he had entered the gardens he never expected to see Thranduil there. The elder Elf had been so focused on the tree and the sky that Thranduil had never heard him approach. Thranduil's bewitching eyes stared at him and he was unable to pull himself away. "Aye, what are you doing?"

"I greet the morning sun and try to get in touch with nature again. It is easier in Mirkwood. The trees know me there." Thranduil signaled Elladan to join him. "Place your hands on its trunk..."

Elladan complied, but doubted he would sense anything. He trembled at Thranduil's touch when the elder Elf placed his hands on top.

"Now open your mind and reach out..." Thranduil felt amused, seeing the shy expression in those dark eyes. Surely Elrond had taught his sons to commune with nature?

Suddenly Elladan's eyes widened in surprise. "I feel something..." It felt like a warm embrace and a hot wind swept through his body, warming him. "What is it?"

"These trees are ancient; almost as old as I am. You feel their wisdom, their contentment. They like being here... Imladris is a place of peace and beauty to them. They are strong and healthy and most of them talk to each other... and to us Elves. You did not know this?" Thranduil removed his hands and briefly rubbed Elladan's, which would be tingling with warmth. He recalled that sensation from the first time when he had reached out in this manner. Elladan was giving him a curious look and he smiled, trying to reassure the youngster. "You are strong enough to try this on your own..."

Elladan blinked, suddenly realizing Thranduil was rubbing his fingers. The contact caused even more tingling and this time it pooled in his groin. Eyes wide, he felt himself hardening under the touch and he pulled his hands away, breaking the contact.

Thranduil wondered about the sudden loss of contact. Had he done something to upset Elladan? Or was Elladan still upset with him for lying about his identity? Was there a way to make things up to him?

Elladan grew uncomfortable under Thranduil's piercing glance and he quickly addressed the elder Elf. "Did you already talk to Legolas?"

"Aye, I told him everything was fine. I will visit with him later today..." Thranduil suddenly recognized the expression in Elladan's eyes and took a step away from the half-Elf. /Ai, he cannot be falling for me.../

Elladan didn't dare make eye contact with Thranduil. Shuffling his feet, he felt his face grow hot. By Elbereth! He couldn't be blushing! Not again!

Thranduil wasn't sure how to deal with this situation. He didn't want to hurt Elladan's feelings, and decided to act as if he hadn't noticed. When Legolas had admitted his first crush to him, Thranduil had consoled his son when the maiden in question had rejected him. He knew how painful being in love could be. "I will return to my rooms now. I spent the entire night talking to Legolas and I need to bathe as well."

Elladan felt immensely grateful that Thranduil had saved him from certain embarrassment. Staring at the ground, he nodded. "Would you like some clean clothes? I can send a servant..."

Thranduil nodded, accepting the offer.

Elladan's blush intensified. "I will see you at dinner then?"

"You may count on me," said Thranduil gently. /Ai, Elladan, you are so young... And your first love should be someone your own age.../ He wouldn't encourage the twin, and hoped that the infatuation would quickly fade. /Once I leave Imladris he will forget me... And I plan to leave in a few days./ In the meantime he would act kindly toward Elladan, but at the same time he would keep his distance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elrohir studied Erestor's sketch of the 'wheel chair' they would construct for Elrond. "We should be able to do this..." Lowering himself onto his heels, he helped Erestor attach the wheels. Erestor's long, nimble fingers connected the wheels to the bottom of the chair and accidentally brushed his. Erestor pulled back as if burned and moved to the other side of the chair, breaking eye contact.

Elrohir cleared his throat. Erestor's behavior worried him, but he didn't know how to address this. "Are you feeling well, Erestor?"

"Why do you ask?" A worried glance appeared in Erestor's dark eyes.

"You seem... nervous..." Elrohir frowned. Erestor was a mystery to him, always had been. Glorfindel had been easy to figure out when he was a child, but Erestor presented a riddle which he had never managed to solve. The raven-haired advisor had always been there, had always served his father and had been their mentor as long as he remembered and yet, the elder Elf remained an enigma. He always kept his distance, never spoke of anything personal and seemed cold and distant, expect for moments like these, when he was unable to hide his concern. /And right now he worries about Ada... Hence the wheel chair./ Elrohir drew in a deep breath. "Are you sure you are getting enough sleep, Erestor?"

Erestor averted his eyes and stared at the floor. "The chair should enable Lord Elrond to move about as he wishes. My work here is done and I should leave now. There are countless reports to read and..."

"You do not want to see Ada's reaction to the chair?" His father would probably want to thank Erestor, but the advisor's body posture told him that the elder Elf was eager to leave. "You cannot work the entire time, Erestor. Join me and let us visit Ada. I am sure he will be delighted to see your gift."

Erestor sighed defeated, knowing Elrohir would get his way in the end, the half-Elf always did. "I will join you..."

Elrohir rose, and pushed the wheel chair toward the doorway. "Erestor?" His former tutor seemed tense, and only reluctantly moved toward him. /Something upset you... What was it? I do not like seeing you in this way... I will find out what is wrong.../

 

Chapter Seven - Guilt

Elrohir knocked on his father's door, hoping he wasn't waking Elrond from a healing sleep, but then he heard soft giggling and figured Glorfindel was keeping his father company and it might be safe to enter. "I do hope they are decent," said Elrohir jokingly and winked at Erestor, hoping to cheer up the elder Elf. But Erestor's expression remained strangely haunted and the smile didn't reach the dark eyes.

"Ada? Can I come inside?"

Elrond quickly straightened his robes and swept Glorfindel's hands aside when the blond tried to 'assist' him, causing more mayhem in the process. "Behave and open the door." Elrond sighed regretfully, wishing Elrohir had waited a little longer to pay them this visit. He had finally convinced Glorfindel to cuddle up to him and had even stolen some hot kisses from the Elda's lips.

Glorfindel rose reluctantly and made his way over to the doorway. "Elrohir..." He raised an eyebrow, seeing the wheel chair and wondered why Erestor was there as well. The dark haired Elf had already visited earlier, discussing affairs that couldn't wait. "What is -that-?" He pointed at the chair that Elrohir now pushed inside.

Elrond immediately realized what the chair was for. "I should have thought of it." He gave Elrohir an approving nod, proud that his son had constructed this chair for him. "You did well, Elrohir."

Elrohir heard movement behind him and looked over his shoulder; Erestor was about to sneak out of the room, but Elrohir quickly grabbed the elder Elf's wrist, pulling him toward the bed. "It was Erestor's idea, not mine, Ada."

Elrond raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Thank you, Erestor." Erestor was his chief advisor and he trusted the other Elf with his life, but Erestor seldom showed his feelings these days. It had been different in the past, but -the incident- had changed Erestor. "I am grateful you thought of this. It will make moving about much easier."

Elrohir's gaze rested on Erestor and he wondered about the blush that crept across the elder Elf's face. It almost seemed like Elrond's compliment made Erestor uncomfortable, but why?

"A stroke of genius!" teased Glorfindel. He tried to catch Erestor's gaze, but the other Elf averted his, making it impossible to probe the dark depths.

"Please excuse me," said Erestor in a shaky tone. "I need to read the latest reports and..." Briefly, his gaze shifted to Elrohir, but then he quickly averted his eyes, staring at the doorway.

"You are excused," said Elrond softly, sensing Erestor's unease. "We will discuss those reports later..."

Erestor nodded and fled the room.

Elrohir looked at his father questioningly. "Ada? What is the matter with Erestor?"

Elrond sighed concerned. "Sit down, Elrohir... There is something you need to know about Erestor. You are now old enough to understand."

Curiously, Elrohir sat down on the side of the bed. Glorfindel and Elrond exchanged looks and apparently reached a decision. "Ada?"

Elrond locked eyes with his son. "It started when the Orcs attacked your mother."

Elrohir briefly closed his eyes; reliving that horrific time. "What started?" Opening his eyes, he stared at Elrond and Glorfindel. Their fingers were entwined and they seemed to draw strength from the other.

"You know that these foul creatures tortured your mother," continued Elrond in a heavy tone.

"Aye." Elrohir frowned. "When Elladan and I arrived mother was in a dreadful state. We tended to her, but she couldn't bear our touch. Not even you or your healers could change that. She sailed to Valinor to find some sort of peace. Elladan and I cried for days when she left..."

Elrond cleared his throat. Glorfindel reassuringly rubbed his lover's knuckles and Elrond finally found the courage to continue. "You were so busy tending to your mother that you never realized someone else was hurting as well."

Elrohir's eyes narrowed, suddenly recalling that Erestor had accompanied his mother on that trip. "Erestor was there as well."

Elrond moistened his lips, suddenly wondering if he should tell Elrohir or not. Maybe this was too personal and Erestor didn't want the twins to know. But it was too late now and he had to finish what he had started. "Aye, Erestor was in command of your mother's escort. The Orcs singled him out because he was in charge and they..." Elrond bit his bottom lip, hesitant to continue.

Glorfindel cleared his throat, drawing Elrohir's attention. "What your father is trying to say is that the Orcs tortured Erestor as well... Maybe even in worse ways than Celebrian. He tried to distract the Orcs from tormenting her and... You were so concerned about your mother that we decided not to tell you. But there are nights, especially when there is a full moon like tonight, when Erestor remembers everything much too clearly."

Elrohir shook his head in disbelief. "You kept this from us?"

"Celebrian demanded your attention and Erestor preferred it that way." Glorfindel released Elrond's hand, left the bed and sat on his heels in front of Elrohir. "You know what those creatures did to your mother; Erestor suffered even worse, trying to draw their attention away from her."

"I cannot believe this," whispered Elrohir shocked. Staring at Glorfindel, he wondered how Erestor had managed to keep this a secret. "Why did he not tell us after mother had left?"

"Elladan and you were hurting and he did not want to add to your sorrow by telling you what happened to him. Elrohir, Erestor is very strong, much stronger than you think, but there will be times when he feels... 'uncomfortable'." Glorfindel inclined his head, hoping Elrohir understood.

"I am surprised you never noticed in the past," muttered Elrond, raising a hand to signal his lover to return to his side. Glorfindel quickly moved back to the bed and clasped his fingers around Elrond's. "But then again, you spent a lot of time away from home, hunting Orcs." Elrond studied his son. "There is something else you need to know."

"What is it?" Elrohir massaged his temples; a headache was beginning to pound away in his head. Erestor had suffered so much and never told them? How badly had he suffered at the Orcs' hands? What had they done to him? Elrond had hinted Erestor's burden was even heavier than his mother's. "Ada?"

"Erestor blames himself for what happened to your mother. He was in charge of her escort and when the Orcs attacked, he did his best to fight them off, but there were too many of the foul creatures. He thinks he let her down and this guilt has been eating away at him for a long time. After the attack he turned quiet, trying to 'atone' for his 'failure'."

Elrohir's fingernails dug into wood, listening as the horrific tale unfolded. "But he did not stand a chance! There were about forty Orcs and mother's escort consisted of five archers and Erestor!" They had never thought Orcs would dare attack so close to Imladris. "It was not his fault!"

"Aye, we know that," said Glorfindel, "but it is different for Erestor. The archers did not survive the attack and your mother..." He quickly glanced at Elrond. "Celebrian was hurt body and soul... She could not face us and left... Erestor made the decision to stay and 'pay' for his failure..."

Elrond interrupted his lover. "I assured Erestor countless times that he was not to blame, but... he feels guilty because he survived and for finding the courage and strength to continue."

Elrohir sat stunned, trying to deal with this new insight into Erestor's personality. "I did wonder why he grew quiet after the attack, but I never realized..."

Elrond's features briefly contorted. "Celebrian could not bear my touch and my healers looked after her; one of them even accompanied her to Valinor. I took it upon myself to care for Erestor as your mother did not want me close. I can assure you that Erestor was gravely wounded... Even more emotionally than physically. I tended to his injuries and it took him several weeks to recover. You probably do not remember because you were so worried about Celebrian. Erestor was hesitant to face Elladan and you and stayed in his chambers until after your mother had left."

"I never suspected anything..." Elrohir grew angry with himself for not noticing Erestor's anguish. "I never paid his silent moods any attention."

"Perhaps I was wrong to tell you," sighed Elrond, almost regretting burdening Elrohir with this knowledge. "Do not tell Erestor you know... He might retreat even farther within himself. "

Elrohir shook his head. "I cannot continue as if I did not know, Ada!"

"Then show Erestor compassion, but not pity. Give him the respect he deserves and do not treat him differently because of this knowledge." Glorfindel's gaze was warm when he addressed Elrohir. "Once the full moon is gone he will become less restless..."

Elrohir recalled that night when they had found their mother, bleeding and crying. A full moon had illuminated the night and had cast a ghastly shadow over Celebrian's face. "When we tended to mother..." He looked to Glorfindel for answers.

"I tended to Erestor and took him back to Imladris."

Elrohir suddenly recalled that Asfaloth had carried two riders that night, not one. But aye, Elladan and he had been too focused on their mother to pay much attention to anything else. "Ada, what did they do to Erestor?"

Elrond bit his tongue to keep himself from speaking; he couldn't tell Elrohir the complete truth.

Elrohir thought back to that night. "They beat mother, burned her soft skin and tore out her hair. These foul creatures... touched her..." Elrond had never confirmed their suspicion that Celebrian had been raped, but now he had to know. "Ada, did they... force mother?"

Elrond swallowed convulsively, wishing Elrohir hadn't asked him that question. Glorfindel's thumb moved over the back of his hand, soothing him. "Nay, Elrohir, I do not think so. The healers did not find any evidence that she had been forced."

Elrohir frowned. Why was his father this nervous all of a sudden? Was Elrond lying to him in order to protect him? "And you believed them?"

"I cannot be sure, Elrohir, they might have twisted the truth, trying to save her honor. I just know that she could no longer stand my touch." Elrond looked pleadingly at Glorfindel; this conversation exhausted him.

Suddenly Elrohir's eyes widened. "Ada... Did they... What about Erestor? Surely they did not..." By Elbereth, he didn't dare ask Elrond if they had forced Erestor as well, but his father had hinted that the dark haired Elf had suffered worse than his mother.

Elrond averted his eyes. "I cannot tell you that, Elrohir."

The words pounded in his ears. "They did, otherwise you could have reassured me they did not. By Elbereth, how did he survive? Endure the pain?"

Glorfindel spoke softly. "Elrohir, you and your brother were so young, still are, and you suffered a great loss. We kept this from you as best as we could and... it was at Erestor's own request."

Elrohir nodded absentmindedly. "I can understand that he does not want anyone to know, but... He helped you raise us! The two of you, mother and Erestor are our family! We could have supported him..." It hurt, knowing that even after so many years Erestor kept this pain to himself. "I do not know if I can keep this a secret."

"What will you do?" Glorfindel frowned.

Elrohir shrugged. "Right now I feel an overwhelming urge to hug Erestor..."

Elrond smiled brightly and squeezed Glorfindel's hand. "Be careful when you hug him, Elrohir. Erestor still reacts 'defensively' when someone gets to close to him."

Elrohir locked eyes with his father. "I will not chase him away by hugging him?"

"Did you hug him in the past?" asked Glorfindel amused.

"Aye, I did..." Elrohir's eyes narrowed, realizing something. "He always was nervous when Elladan and I hugged him."

"And now you understand why," said Elrond in a tired voice. "Glorfindel? I need to rest... I am tired."

Glorfindel pulled Elrond close and encouraged the half-Elf to lean against him. Glorfindel's eyes suddenly gleamed with mischief. "And you, Elrohir, were you not going to hug someone?"

Elrohir realized he was being dismissed. "Ada, thank you for trusting me with this. I will keep the secret... At least I will try."

Elrond nodded wearily and enjoyed his lover's soft touch as Glorfindel stroked his dark hair. "Do no blurt out what I told you when you meet Erestor. Be subtle for a change."

Elrohir blushed. "I will be careful," he promised as he headed for the door. "Will you join us for dinner later?"

Glorfindel stopped Elrond from answering that question and addressed Elrohir himself. "Maybe, it depends on how tired your father is."

Elrohir smiled warmly. "I feel reassured, knowing you are looking after Ada..."

Glorfindel gracefully accepted the compliment and waited for Elrohir to leave the room before locking eyes with Elrond. "You raised them well, meleth-nîn."

Elrond allowed a grin to surface on his face. "Aye, -we- did. -We- raised them well. I could never have done it alone."

Glorfindel kissed the tip of his lover's nose and watched Elrond dose off. "I hope Elrohir does not scare Erestor by springing that hug on him..." Grinning he tried to imagine Erestor's shock at being hugged unexpectedly. Too bad he couldn't witness that little scene.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Erestor stared at the rising white shadow in the darkening skies; the disk was already announcing the full moon that would illuminate the dark night. He fought the horrific memories as they crept back onto him, trying to pull them under the dark see in which he was drowning. Ai, Elbereth, how he hated nights like these. When he was young he had loved to walk beneath the full moon, but the Orcs' attack had changed everything.

/And Elrond knows what is haunting me... as does Glorfindel. They know I am falling into Shadow again. I saw it in their eyes./ Like so many nights before he wondered why he hadn't died that night, or one of the long nights that had followed. He shouldn't have survived the abuse and yet he had, though he had no idea why he still refused to surrender and find rest at the Halls of Waiting. During those dark nights when Elrond had sat at his side, tending to him, he had wondered what was giving him the strength to stay at Arda, instead of leaving life behind.

Only a few days ago he had realized the truth; it was love that kept him here at Imladris. He didn't know when it had happened, but he had long lost his heart to Elrohir. His love had simmered in the dark for some time, but only know did he realize that Elrohir was the object of his desires.

At first he had been able to act normally around Elrond's youngest son, but being around Elrohir was getting harder; especially when Elrohir was close the entire time like he had been since Elrond's return. He longed for the day when Elrond would finally recover so he didn't have to be around Elrohir that often.

Being in love and feeling the way he did made him feel immensely insecure around Elrohir. Acting on his feelings was impossible, for he didn't want to betray the trust Elrond had placed in him during these last few years when he had trained the twins in matters of state. /I should stay away from him. Maybe I can convince Glorfindel to work with me, instead of Elrohir. I could say that Elrohir lacks necessary experience. Elrond would surely except my explanation./

"Erestor? Are you in? I want to talk to you... Please?"

Erestor was startled, hearing Elrohir's voice and involuntarily sucked in his breath. He considered not answering, but was afraid that Elrohir might search the house until the half-Elf had finally located him. He had better face Elrohir now.

"Aye, I am in. You may enter." Erestor moved to a chair beneath the window and sat down, wrapping his robes around his trembling form. Only a few candles illuminated the room and he hoped the shadows would hide his troubled features from Elrohir's inquisitive gaze.

Elrohir entered slowly, briefly halting in his tracks as he caught sight of Erestor, the elder Elf's face hidden by shadows. "Erestor?"

"Aye?" He slowly rose to his feet, and reluctantly met Elrohir's gaze, trying to act calm and composed. "Did anything occur that demands my attention?" The reports he had received had spoken of no immediate threat.

Elrohir shuffled his feet, peeked at Erestor and wrung his hands. "Erestor?" He took a step toward the dark haired Elf and noticed Erestor's raised eyebrow.

Elrohir's behavior puzzled Erestor; the half-Elf seemed oddly shy. "Is something wrong, pen-neth?"

"Actually, aye, there is..." Elrohir took another step closer toward Erestor... and another....

Erestor suddenly realized that Elrohir was now only inches away, already invading his personal space. He barely refrained from backing away from Elrohir, but the expression in those dark eyes convinced him to stay in place. Elrohir apparently needed something from him; some reassurance? Advise? "Can I help?" he offered innocently.

"Aye, you can." Extremely slowly, Elrohir raised his arms and wrapped them loosely around Erestor's shoulders, burying the Elder Elf in an embrace. Erestor tensed, and Elrohir almost pulled back, but he stubbornly shook his head; unwilling to let the past gain a hold on the present. "I need... to hug you close..."

Erestor's eyes narrowed suspiciously, barely tolerating the embrace. He only managed to stay in place because this was Elrohir; the half-Elf he was in love with. "Why?" Why did Elrohir want to hug him? Unexpectedly, the hug tightened and he desperately tried not to let his anxiety get the better of him. Elrohir was very dear to him and the half-Elf would never, ever, hurt him!

Elrohir moistened his lips; he had come here with every intention to tell Erestor he knew what those Orcs had done to the Elf, but now his vocal cords refused to comply. Erestor's shame and guilt would only increase, realizing one of the twins knew his dark secret. "It has been so long since I showed you how much I care..."

A sudden chill coursed through Erestor's form; Elrohir couldn't know what had happened to him that night! The twins had focused on Celebrian, not him. There was no way Elrohir could have found out the truth; Elrond and Glorfindel would never betray his trust! He wouldn't be able to bear the pity in Elrohir's eyes, which would certainly appear once the twin knew the truth. /Maybe it's because he was afraid of losing Elladan... He is probably relieved that Elladan safely returned./

Raising an arm and returning the embrace was one of the hardest things Erestor had ever done. He had to show Elrohir that everything was fine and when the half-Elf had been upset as a child an embrace had always done the trick.

Elrohir smiled against Erestor's shoulder, feeling a hesitant arm fold around his waist. When he had first reached out, he had been afraid that Erestor would flinch away from his touch, but it seemed like the elder Elf had come a long way since that dreadful night.

"Your father and brother are well, Elrohir. Let go of your worries and enjoy their company. Nothing bad happened to them." Erestor hoped the words would soothe Elrohir's obviously troubled mind. /Why come to me for comfort? Why not seek out Elrond, Elladan or Glorfindel? Why me?/

"Erestor, it is -you- I worry about... You look weary and pale, and I am afraid you are not taking care of yourself. When was the last time you slept? Dark circles show under your eyes and seeing them worries me. And when did you eat last? You look so thin..." Elrohir pulled back to look at Erestor's eyes. "You are very important to me and I do not want you to slowly fade away."

Elrohir's tone alarmed Erestor. Did he really look that exhausted? "Aye, I have been working long hours and I might have forgotten a meal or two, but do not worry about me, pen-neth. I am old enough to take care of myself."

"Let me fetch you something to eat?" Elrohir looked at Erestor pleadingly. "Seeing you eat would make me feel better."

Erestor smiled weakly. "Is it that important to you that I eat?" Elrohir's concern warmed his chilly soul. The youngest twin had always been his favorite, but it had never showed in his dealings with the two half-Elves.

"Aye, Erestor, it does." Elrohir felt pleased; Erestor had not made any attempt to flee the embrace. Apparently the raven haired Elf had found ways to deal with the effects of the torture he had suffered in the past. At least Erestor was able to bear his touch, something Celebrian had never managed. /And Erestor suffered much worse./

Erestor was beginning to feel uncomfortable now that Elrohir continued to hold him close. Slowly, he edged away from Elrohir and thankfully the half-Elf didn't question his retreat. "I am honored that you worry about me, Elrohir, but there is no need to fret over me."

Elrohir smiled warmly. "I will fetch us something to eat. I am hungry as well."

Erestor cringed privately, realizing Elrohir intended to stay. "Ai, Elrohir, I am bad company tonight, maybe you should seek out Elladan instead."

Elrohir played his trump. "Nay, Elladan is in love and can only think of Thranduil."

Erestor's eyes widened in surprise. "Thranduil?" What was Elrohir talking about?

"Ah, you do not know yet that Hynduil is Thranduil in disguise? Let me tell whilst drinking some sweet wine, Erestor. I will head for the kitchen and bring back food and wine. Then we will settle down and I will tell you what happened at dinner last night."

Erestor sighed resignedly. Elrohir seemed determined to do this. "Then fetch the food and wine, pen-neth, and I will add more wood to the fire. It is turning cold in here."

"That is an understatement! It is -freezing- cold in here!" Elrohir grinned and marched out of the room, heading for the kitchen.

Erestor shook his head in disbelief. "I wonder what has gotten into him. Why worry about me now?" Well, he had to admit that he might have acted uncharacteristically, and he had been neglecting his needs. The last time he had eaten was two days ago, but he would never admit that to Elrohir. /Ai, Elrohir, you are such a gentle and caring soul. How could anyone not be fond of you?/ But it went deeper than that. That fondness had turned to love during long and lonely years; a forbidden love, and one he could never admit to openly.

Sighing worriedly, he collapsed onto his chair. Could he deal with Elrohir fussing over him? Maybe if he ate Elrohir would let him be. /But I do not want him to let me be... I enjoy his company. I am less lonely when he is close, but.../

/You do not deserve his company, nor his affection!/ A cold, berating voice echoed through his head, making him cringe. /You failed his mother! He does not remember you were meant to protect her, but if he did, he would loathe the very sight of you. -You- could not protect Celebrian! -You- are to blame!/

Erestor released a strangled sob. The voice never left him alone, haunting him day and night. /I tried my best, but there were so many of them and so few of us./

/Excuses! -You- should have fought harder! Instead you let them capture her! Celebrian was -your- responsibility and -you- let them hurt her!/

/Nay, I tried to distract them, but it was already too late. They had hurt her... But I stopped them from hurting her even worse!/

/-You- got everything you deserved for failing her, Erestor. Elrond might hide his disgust of you, but that does not mean it is not there. You can see it in his eyes if you look close enough, but -you- do not dare to look him in the eyes!/

"Nay, stop it..." Erestor let his dark hair fall in front of his face, trying to lock out the taunting voice. "I tried..."

"Erestor?" Elrohir frowned concerned, seeing Erestor this distressed. Through strands of dark hair, he thought he saw tears. He almost considered leaving Erestor alone, but in the end his concern won and made him clear his throat, announcing his return. Erestor's head whipped back, and he quickly wiped at his eyes. /Ai, he -is- crying... By Elbereth, how can I help him?/

"Elrohir, I would prefer to be alone tonight. I seem to have lost my appetite and..." Erestor wearily eyed Elrohir as the half-Elf placed the tray with food and wine on the floor next to him. His stomach betrayed him, growling softly. The freshly baked Lembas smelled deliciously and Elrohir had warmed their wine, just the way he liked it. He hadn't thought Elrohir would remember he liked his wine hot. "I am not hungry any more."

Elrohir shook his head determinedly. "Erestor, you -must- eat something. You are wasting away. Will you tell me what ails you? I am a good listener; you told me so yourself." He picked up the goblet filled with warm wine and pressed it into Erestor's shaky hand. "Drink. It will warm you from the inside."

Erestor grew more worried with every passing moment. "Why are you this concerned about me, Elrohir?" It was his greatest fear that Elrohir would somehow find out about his past. If the half-Elf truly knew what had happened, he was tempted to leave Imladris to avoid the confrontation. "I should return to the study and read the latest reports. I also need to write Celeborn and..." He grew silent when Elrohir's stare became pleadingly. "What do you want from me?"

"To unburden your soul."

Erestor's scared expression told him to stop pressuring his friend. A change in topic was needed to reassure Erestor. "Elladan's soul is burdened as well..."

"You mentioned something about Thranduil?" Erestor welcomed the changed subject, hoping to distract Elrohir. /Do not worry about me, pen-neth. I am not worth it./

Elrohir had hoped Erestor would confide in him, but the elder Elf seemed reluctant to even hint at the things that haunted him. "Ai, Elladan is falling in love with Thranduil... Remember Hynduil, the Elf that rescued Elladan? He turned out to be Thranduil..."

For the next hour Erestor listened to Elrohir's soft and soothing voice and without realizing it, he drifted off into sleep.

Elrohir noticed Erestor's slow, yet steady breathing and removed the now empty goblet before it could drop onto the floor. "You cannot be comfortable in that chair." Gently he pushed his arms beneath Erestor's knees and back and lifted the dark haired Elf. Surprised at the low body weight, he raised an eyebrow. "You have not been eating, Erestor..."

He placed Erestor in the center of the bed and pulled up the covers, tucking the blankets around the elder Elf's body. Elrohir pulled up a chair and rested his feet on the side of the bed, watching Erestor thoughtfully. /You are always there for us when we need you... And yet I never noticed you needed someone as well. Maybe I can now return the love and attention you gave Elladan and me./

Recalling Erestor's painful past, he continued to study the face, which was now relaxed in sleep. "I will stay here tonight and watch over you..." Terrible nightmares and waking visions had tormented Celebrian after the attack and he wondered if Erestor was prone to them as well. "You need a good night's sleep, Erestor... I will keep the nightmares away." His protectiveness of the Elder Elf didn't really surprise him. Erestor had always been there for him when Elrond or Glorfindel were too busy to spend time with him. Love and affection had blossomed in his heart long ago and he smiled tenderly, vowing to help Erestor fight his personal demons.

 

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