Prologue: The Loss

Story:  #1

Year 2001
L.A.
Angel’s POV

Last night I drove Willow home to Sunnydale.
I had to go to the cemetery, had to see the gravestone. I read the letters:

BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS
1981 - 2001
BELOVED SISTER
DEVOTED FRIEND
SHE SAVED THE WORLD
A LOT

And so I finally had to believe it: Buffy was gone - dead. She would never have the bright future I wanted her to have - the future I left her for.

And there would certainly never be a happy ending for the both of us. All the hopes I dared to have since Wesley first told me about my Shanshu were for nothing. Becoming human again one day no longer seemed like redemption to me. The dreams I had revolved around a family: Buffy - my wife -, me and maybe even some children, happy and beautiful just like their mother. All I can see now is me - alone and surrounded by darkness. I guess a demon deserves nothing more. This is the prize I have to pay for my past.

Coming back to L.A. I realized that there are only two possibilities for me:
The first one:
Watching the sun rise for the first time in nearly 250 years. But hat would be the easy way and a betrayal to her memory. I can clearly remember a certain Christmas morning which now seemed so far away as if it happened in another life. I can still hear her lovely and desperate voice: “Strong is fighting and it’s every day.!”

So that leaves only the second option for me:
I will go on fighting. I will continue to save souls. And when the new Slayer arrives I will be her protector like I will be for those who follow her. But this time I will stay in the shadows where I belong. I will do everything to fight against the darkness and every evil that lurks within. And when the End of Days finally arrive I will fight my last battle and I will assure that we will win that humanity will survive. Because that is what she fought for, what she lived for - and died for.

And when I receive my redemption, when I Shanshu I will make the best out of it. I will live my life - for her.

But in order to do so I will have to take every memory of every precious moment with Buffy and put them into a box in the depths of my mind and heart. I will have to build thick walls surround it so that I can never find them again - until the day my soul leaves this plane to find hers.

Otherwise I will die of grief. For I lost the girl I first fell in love with, the woman that meant everything to me...Buffy Summers - my soul mate.

The End

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