Date: 22 May 2003

Title: Another Chance

Author: Das Jessy

Archive: Yep.

Summary: I really really do hate this summary thing.

Rating: PG-13 The usual

Category: Ouf. Really hard to tell. Angsty, but S/B in the heart.

Disclaimer: They are all mine. *pats Spike on head*

What? Joss who? No, can't be.

Spoilers: Post- Chosen, post- Home

Feedback: Phew! mail to. jessy_84@t-online.de

Author's Note: Well, I hate Joss Whedon. I really do. Did he have to kill Spike?

Was that really necessary? Don't think so. This is going to be a small series. I'm thinking three tiny ficlets. We'll

see. You can find my other stories at www.spiritofx.com. English isn't my first language, blah blah blah.

 

 

Another Chance by DAS Jessy~~~~~~~~~~ One day, he just woke up again. He found himself lying in the rubble of what used to be Sunnydale. He neither knew how he'd gotten there nor had he any idea of the why. It was night when he woke up and the last thing he remembered was the pain and how it had suddenly stopped. He'd seen the world falling away from underneath him and felt the light of the amulet destroy him from the inside. But he'd also felt like it was the right thing to do. The moments before crumbling to dust he'd felt his soul like never before. Not when he'd still been the poetry writing jerk William and neither when he'd gotten it back from the demon in that cave at the other end of the world. It had hurt, but he'd thought that dying was supposed to and that this was the one thing he'd do right. He'd save the world, he'd close this hellmouth once and for all. He remembered smiling. Smiling and feeling closure. This was how he'd go, in this chaos saving everyone and especially the woman who'd made him what he now was, and then...then there had been peace and quiet. It had been a little like Buffy'd described heaven. Buffy...she'd told him that she loved him. He hadn't believed her, still didn't, couldn't, wouldn't let himself believe. It would only hurt more to get shoved back, again. But he couldn't have been in heaven, didn't deserve it. He'd been evil for far too long, killed far too many innocents. There had been no fear, no pain and no doubt but he hadn't felt finished. He'd known that there were still things for him to do.

 

His senses told him that dawn was approaching and that he had to get out of there, but where to? There was obviously not much left. Places, things that had meant something to him, everything was gone and the only thing left were ashes. His old crypt, he hadn't lived in at last but he'd still visited from time to time, the old tree in front of Buffy's window, the tree he'd spent so much time hiding behind, watching her, making sure she was save. All his mementos from over a century of unlife which he'd stashed away in the Summers' basement. Pictures of him and Dru, but even older ones, from when he'd still been a boy, Photos of his mother, the kind loving woman she'd been and he'd sworn himself he'd never forget. Then there was Joyce's grave which he'd visited quite frequently, bringing her flowers. She'd listen to him when nobody else would. It wasn't like before when she'd made him hot cocoa, of course, but everytime he'd went to her grave he'd felt a peace sweep over him, enveloping him, consoling him. That was all gone and what other things, people that meant something to him where gone as well. He'd just known they'd make it. His Slayer and his Niblet. They were strong, they'd survive anything.

Slowly he tried to get up. He didn't seem to be injured so he just started walking. Away from what was left of his life. Where do we go from here, indeed.

Just before sunup he arrived at a diner in a little town that would have been the one next to Sunnydale if the latter had still existed.

He didn't know where Buffy was so he couldn't ask her for help. There was only one alternative so he called the only one he still knew where to find. The only one who wouldn't question the why he was back because he'd survived worse.

 

He spent the day in the diner drinking some coffee which he'd bought from the money that had still been in his duster, which miraculously had come back with him. Come back from where? From the dead? Well, technically he still was. It was so bloody ridiculous, him, William the Bloody, getting another chance, again.

In the afternoon a car with blackened windows arrived in the parking lot and a blanket clad figure ran into the diner. One look of the figure and Spike followed him outside to the car, running from the deadly rays of sunlight. They started driving in silence. "What happened?" Angel asked him after some time had gone by. "Dunno. Found myself lying in what used to be Sunnyhell. Didn't know where to bloody go." Angel nodded slowly. "I never thought I'd say that, but it's good to have you back." Spike cocked an eyebrow at him in question, then looked out of the window waiting for an answer. "She was devastated, you know." Spike smiled ruefully. "We are talking 'bout the Slayer here, right?!" "A Slayer, William. They are all Slayers now. All the potentials. There are Slayers all over the world. More awakening as we speak. She can actually live her life, now..." When Spike didn't say anything he went on. "She first lived at the Hyperion and just pretty much grieved, they moved up to San Diego last month." Spike nodded, then motioned with his pack of cigarettes. "Mind if I smoke one?" "Actually yes. But knowing you, you'll do it anyway and it's not like I'm going to die from second hand smoke, so go ahead." Angel grinned at him and Spike lighted up immediately. Some more time passed by in silence. "She can't know." He said. "Who?" "Buffy. She can never know that I'm among the undead again. She's got a chance here, she deserves it. Let her leave all this behind." The older vampire looked straight ahead not saying anything. "You know, I always thought you were a poof for leaving her but now I understand. It was the right thing to do.  But when you left, the time just hadn't been, right that is. She didn't have a chance at normal then. She was the Chosen One. Now this, this changes everything she can actually start anew. Start a whole new life. One without evil fiends, apocalypses, dying" "That she can, that she can." Spike threw his cigarette out of the window the sun now finally set. "How long?" He demanded and Angel answered without asking what he meant, comprehending , without Spike speaking it out. "About three months. How long has it been for you?" "Longer." Spike told him. "Ya know, I had pretty much the same conversation with the Sl...with Buffy when she came back last year. That seems like an eternity ago." "Do you remember what it was like?" "I wasn't in hell of that I'm sure. Buffy once told me that when she was in heaven she felt whole, that there was no pain and that it hurt when she was ripped out, all the violence and the brightness of this dimension, she couldn't stand it.  I don't think I was there. Wouldn't deserve it if you ask me. The place I've been...there was no pain, but I wasn't complete, either. I was kinda restless, ya know?! Like there was still something for me to do. Maybe it was limbo or some such rot." Angel didn't look at him, just kept staring at the road. "It hurt." He told the younger man. "That she confided in you...! That she told you where she'd been, you of all people. A soulless demon. That she didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. She lied to me. Told me she'd been in hell. I never talked about the time I saw her after she'd come back to anyone. There wasn't much to tell, just that I actually knew that we'd never get together again when I saw her. We couldn't talk anymore, it was awkward. Everything was, talking to her, seeing her, touching her. Even when I'd still thought she was dead it hadn't felt the same... It didn't kill me. I always thought I couldn't go on should she ever die but I could. I went away for some weeks. Went to Sri Lanka. Wanted to be alone when the real pain struck, but it never did. Don't get me wrong, it hurt but it wasn't like getting my heart cut out. That made it even worse when she came back. I even felt as if I'd betrayed her, I wasn't able to look into her eyes." "Maybe you just weren't meant to be." "And you were?" Spike grinned at Angel, then got serious again. "No, she deserves better. Better than me and better than you. When she died my world ended with her. The only thing making me hang on was Dawn. I promised Buffy to take care of her and I don't break my promises. I couldn't have left the bit. I'm a sucker for those Summers women. Don't feel guilty about not breaking down, Angel, you both had moved on long before that and you've got enough to brood about." They both smiled at that, this was save ground. Spike insulting Angel they were familiar with, the thing of them talking with each other, that was new, that was awkward somehow. But still..."I asked her if you were her boyfriend." "When?" Spike asked his Grandsire, suddenly curious. "The night I gave her the amulet." "Oh?" "She said it was non of my business." "Right, it is non of your bloody business." "In the end she said no but that you were in her heart. Then there was a cookie analogy, I don't care to repeat that."

"That's my Slayer...Ya know...She told me she loved me." "She did?" "When I was dying. She told me. Knew she was lying but was nice to hear. Bloody nice." "I don't think she lied, William. You should have seen her right after...She arrived at the hotel, having nowhere else to go and I think she only moved on because she knew you'd have wanted her to." "Bloody right I'd have. But she still can't know that I'm back. It's good that she moved on, that she's over me. Love or not." "She moved on, but she's far from over you."

They were outside of LA quite soon, the traffic being pretty low at this time.

"You can stay in L.A. if you want, too." Angel told him. "Well, there isn't much you could do 'bout it , is there?!" "That's not what I meant, William, and you know it. You could work with us, you'd even get paid and you'd have a place to stay and something to do." "I don't think the cheerleader or the watcher'd like that. Appreciate the offer." "I don't care what Wesley thinks, you are a good fighter and you're kinda family and Cordelia is...well, she's sort of not there." Spike could hear the seriousness in Angel's voice and decided to let this fact go, he'd learn about it early enough. "Right, I think you got yourself a new houseguest then, Peaches. Nowhere else to be." "Don't call me that, William." "And you don't call me that, mate." "You changed."

"Duh, got myself a soul here. Bloody hell been hanging around the mini Slayers too much. I really said 'duh' just now, didn't I?!"

With a chuckle Angel pulled up in front of the Hyperion. Getting out Spike thought that this would be his life from now on. Far better than his crypt but there was one thing he'd never get used to... not being near his Slayer.

~The End~

 

Comments: Well, well...longer than I thought and I wrote it all in one day. Second part's comin' soon. That's a promise and a threat.

I dedicate this story to Claudia.

Because of her I'm going to see Ghost of the Robot live.

 

Finally beta-read.