REASONS FOR BEING...
1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
2. Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time. (This one's a bit out of date)
3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
4. If there's a war you can surrender really early.
5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on TV.
6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
8. Allow Germans to march up and down your famous street humiliating your sense of national pride
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just go in the street
10. People think you're a great lover, even when you're not
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You can have a woman president without electing her
2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
3. You can call Budweiser "beer"
4. You can be a crook and still be president
5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything
6.If you can breathe you can get a gun
7. You don't have to be a terrorist, a raving arab, or a militant communist to threaten the Presidency. Just need to be reasonably cute, young, and willing!
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"
10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth.
10a. when you're not.
10B. At all.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH:
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah-doo-dah
2. Warm beer
3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
5. Union jack underpants
6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
8. Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not
9. Ditto changing underwear
10. Beats being Welsh.
10a. Or Scots
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN:
1. in-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
2. unembarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns
4. Glorious military history prior to 400 a.d.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside
6. Political stability
7. Flexible working hours
8. Live near the Pope
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair
10. Country run by Sicilian murderers
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN:
1. You get to live near Americans.
2, You can pronounce "out" funny, and nobody cares.
3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors
4. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
5. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity will rise.
6. Your own mini France in the middle of the country.
7. More old ice hockey players with no front teeth per capita.
8. Your call.
9. Still your call.
10. Your ad goes here.