Memories

For many survivors of incest....one of the hardest things to deal with is the memories of the abuse....you may find that you have few memories....or perhaps you have many.....but regardless....when those memories begin to surface...it can be quite stressful.....following are some tips to help with letting those memories surface.....they are found in the book...The Courage to Heal : A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse© by Ellen Bass, Laura Davis....

LETTING MEMORIES IN

Find a place where you'll be safe.
Call a support person if you want to be with someone
Or you might prefer to be alone.
Don't fight it
Relax, and let the memory come. Dont use drugs, alcohol or food to push it down.
Remember, it's just a memory.
Your abuser is not really hurting you now, even if it feels that way. Reliving a memory is part of your healing. It's not more abuse.
Expect to have a response.
It's painful and draining to remember. It may take you awhile to recover.
Nurture yourself. You need extra comfort and care right now.
Tell at least one other person.
You suffered alone as a child. You don't have to do that again.
As you remember, it's important to let yourself feel.

REMEMBERING

There is no right or wrong when it comes to remembering.....
You may have numerous memories or just one....
Remembering sexual abuse is not like remembering ordinary, non threatening events....
Sometimes memories come in bits and pieces..
If memories come to you in fragments, you may find it hard to place them in any kind of chronological order...
All memories may not be literal respresentations of what happened...
There is an essential emotional truth to our memories which can tell us a lot about how the experience has affected us...

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