FIRST STEPS

by Delta

Day 176

 

Kathryn awoke with a start, disorientation fogging her senses. It was dark… totally dark, and she was entombed within a sarcophagus. Panic began to seize her before reality could awaken her, and her hands clawed at the soft walls around her.

 

Suddenly, she heard gentle muffled laughter, and sensed someone… something helping her to escape from her shroud. The sound… the voice… attuned her with her surroundings, as she felt the layers of blankets being unwound from around her.

 

"Good morning, my cocooning butterfly," Chakotay said, smiling down onto her wide-opened eyes. "Are you warm enough?"

 

The last curtain of deep sleep lifted and she returned his smile. With an abrupt realization of where she was and what she last remembered from the night before, she quickly sat up, pulling the blankets around her.

 

Again, Chakotay laughed. "It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?"

 

Her face, so pale and cold last night, burned with a blush, as she looked around… at their surroundings… at him. "What… what… happened?" she asked, trying to collect facts in her muddled mind. They tumbled into place, as he continued to smile silently at her. "Oh, yes. The storm… and… and…"

 

"And here we are." He walked over to the frosted window. Prismed rays of morning sun scattered a rainbow of colors into the room. "The storm is over, but it looks like we’ll have about ten centimeters of snow to trudge through to get back to New Hope."  He continued his stroll, this time to the pile of logs close to the fireplace, where her clothes still were spread out. He reached down and started picking them up. "The fire has done a pretty good job of drying out our clothes."

 

She smiled back at him, letting the blankets fall from around her and reveling in the warmth that the well-established fire radiated into the room. "It’s nice to know that your fire building skills have improved over the last couple of years."

 

He walked over to her with her clothes, laughing. "Well, it does help to have an igniter handy to do the job!"

 

She reached up for the pile of warm clothes, pulling them close to her body, enjoying the warmth that remained with them from their home by the fire. "Mmmmmm…. Now this is service I could get use to!" she murmured.

 

"Really?" he answered, squatting down beside her.

 

"I think so," she answered back.

 

He leaned closer to her. "Kathryn… about last night…"

 

"Shhh," she whispered, putting a finger to his lips. "Last night… was our port in the storm. And what you said… what you wrote… provided our safe harbor." She laid the clothes down beside her, and reached up, taking his scruffy face between her hands and drawing him closer. "Chakotay… my wonderful Chakotay. You have always been there to catch me when I fall… to counsel me when I’m at my wit’s end… to comfort me when I was alone. You have loved me all along, haven’t you?"

 

He lowered his eyes, exploring the fibers of the blanket for his simple answer. His eyes looked up slowly, seeing if hers said the same thing. "Yes."

 

Her hands remained firm in their grasp of his face, but they suddenly felt tremulous and clammy. "And you know that I have loved you… for so long also…" she confessed, drawing him closer… seeking his lips… lips that again murmured "yes" as they found hers.

 

He lowered her back onto the blankets, as their hands and arms and legs twined into a tangle of limbs, becoming as warm as the glowing red coals of the fire beside them.

A sudden twurp sounded from their commbadges; each of them quickly startled into an upright position, looking at each other as if they had been ‘caught’.

 

Janeway hurriedly scrambled for her commbadge, the words coming as a shock, "Oh… New Hope! We were going to contact them…"

 

"…Or they were going to come looking for us," he completed. "Guess we’d better let them know we’re all right; don’t think that this is quite the way we’d want them to find us…"

 

Janeway was already talking with them. "Yes… we’re fine. We just… uh… were trying to decide when to leave."

 

"The storm is over and the sun has sufficiently warmed the ambient air, Captain," responded Seven’s voice. "I do not understand what else could detain your return."

 

Chakotay was trying to hold back an uproarious laugh, brushing back Kathryn’s disarrayed hair and nuzzling her neck. She was attempting to push him aside and stay composed while responding to her questioner, and remain in control of herself.  "Ungh… I slept in a bit, Seven," she managed before she turned to him. "Stop that, Chakotay!" she scolded, not realizing that her words were heard at the other end of the communiqué. Multiple muffled laughs could be heard behind Seven’s response.

 

"Stop what, Captain?" the blonde woman asked innocently. The background laughter became more noticeable.

 

"Oh, not you, Seven!" the distracted woman sputtered, now trying to keep Chakotay’s hands from exploring her. "I’m… I’m having some problems with a… a… pest here in the cabin."

 

The laughs from New Hope were now quite audible, and they found a target with Chakotay’s funny bone. He rolled back and onto the blankets, finally dispelled in waves of laughter by her description of him. She cleared her throat, assuming a once-more "I am the Captain" posture.

 

"We will be leaving in just a few moments, Seven. Please tell everyone that we are… fine. Janeway out."  She broke the link before anything more could be said.  Her laughter exploded, as she fell back next to him. "Well, I don’t think we could have been more obvious… no thanks to you!" she added, lightly punching his arm.

 

"Yes, I guess this is getting to be a habit… first, getting caught out in a rain storm with the hovercraft… now this. Could be habit forming, you know…" he smiled at her, as he got up and reluctantly helped her get to her feet. He looked at Kathryn, clad only in a clinging tank top underjersey and her underpants. "Mmmm… now there’s something I could get used to," he said slyly, mimicking her earlier comments.

 

"First steps first," she answered back. "Let’s get on back and put any more rumors to an end." "Yes, ma’am," he responded, once more handing her her clothes.

 

She took them from him and rewarded him with a soft kiss… brief but full of hope and promise.

 

~*~

 

Kathryn Janeway needn’t have been concerned about rising rumors about their relationship, for when she and Chakotay got back to the Voyager village, they were greeted by bodies scurrying back and forth out of the engineering shelter. Their presence was practically ignored until Janeway grabbed the arm of Megan Delaney.

 

"Megan, what’s going on? What’s happened?" she asked, a slight tinge of fear in her voice.

 

The younger woman came to a halt. "Captain… I mean, Kathryn! You’re back! Chakotay… come on in; we’ve discovered something amazing!" It was now her turn to grab the arm of her former captain and pull her along. Janeway gave Chakotay a quizzical glance as he followed the two women.

 

"What is it?" Janeway asked, not knowing whether she should happy or shocked.

 

Megan was bubbling over in her explanation. "We’ve just found something on the dark side of the moon, Artemis. Remember those weak signals we picked up earlier and were trying to find out what they were? Well, there seems to be a vessel of some sort locked into an orbit around this moon, and since it’s on the dark side, we haven’t been able to determine what it was... until now!"

 

The threesome arrived in the middle of the very busy buzzing area of engineering. Harry and B’Elanna rushed towards Janeway and Chakotay, both anxious to share their news.

 

"I don’t know how or why," B’Elanna gushed excitedly, "but our early indications show that the ship is emitting Federation signals of some sort. We still can’t get honed in on them directly."

 

"Nor can I seem to get any indication of life signs," Harry interjected.

 

Janeway looked at the two younger folks, her mind recalling long lost memories.

"Federation? Out here? You mean... we might not be alone here?" She hazarded a quick glance at the others before cautiously continuing. "Seven years ago... Starfleet lost contact with an Olympic class ship... the Legacy. It was a science ship, sent to examine the wormhole phenomenon outside Deep Space Nine. It got caught in an ion storm and disappeared without any hint of tachyon particle residue. I wonder..."

 

Tuvok continued. "Indeed... there never was anything more heard from the vessel. Starfleet presumed that it had been destroyed in the storm and declared the Legacy lost."

 

"Stranger things have happened," Janeway continued, her eyes ignited with expectation. "B’Elanna... Harry... can you intensify your scans? How about deflecting your communication signals off  the surface of the other moon? Aren’t the moons at a ninety degree angle to each other about now?"

 

"Yes... and that just might work!" Harry agreed. He quickly made some calculations. "Actually, it looks like an angle of 94.7 degrees would be optimum... and we’ll see that tomorrow. I’ll get right on it."

 

"Good," Janeway chimed enthusiastically. "Maybe we’ll answer some questions yet! Wouldn’t it be something... the Legacy... lost all these years..." she said dreamily. "Maybe it will prove to be our legacy, too. But... even if we identify it, what if no one is there... or alive? We will have to have some way of finding out more..."

 

"What we need is a shuttle craft," Tom ventured. "One that has shields to protect itself... and us... from the magnetic fluxes around this planet."

 

Janeway nodded her head, already deep in thought. "Haven’t we already explored those possibilities, Tom? The magnetic storm fields won’t allow us to penetrate the atmosphere more than two hundred kilometers," she queried.

 

Seven now jumped into the brainstorming. "Captain... um... Kathryn... I have been monitoring the magnetic fluxes. It would appear that a decrease in the intensity of solar flares has dampened their strength somewhat; that’s the reason we’ve been able to detect this ship in the first place. I would suggest that we try some probes, to ascertain the validity of this hypothesis."

 

Janeway smiled, the gleam of the seed of an idea forming. "Excellent suggestion, Seven. Why don’t you look into putting your theory into action? And, Tom... if this pans out, we’re going to need to build that dream plan shuttle craft that you’ve been talking about for all these years."

 

The former helmsman’s eyes lit up. "You mean... the Delta Flyer?"

 

"That’s the one," she concurred. "Looks like you might become a father in a couple of ways this year. Still remember what you wanted this contraption to do?"

 

The younger man was practically swooning. "Oh, man... do I! Its plan is burned into my memory banks! You really think we can do it?"

 

"That’s what I’m asking you. I know that we’ve cannibalized poor Voyager for just about everything possible, but perhaps she can give us a little bit more."

 

Tuvok sought to bring the group back to reality. He cleared his throat, drawing their attention. "May I remind everyone that, even should we be able to construct this craft that we would need to provide an energy source for its operations. I don’t believe that there is anything more that we can recover intact from Voyager’s systems, either impulse engines or warp drive."

 

Janeway walked over to him, and placed her hand on his wide shoulder. "Then that, my friend, will be your goal in this project. For the time being, I don’t think we need to concern ourselves with warp drive; impulse engines should suffice. Let’s see if we can identify any dilithium... even trilithium will do... sources within reach on this planet. We haven’t looked for any before because we didn’t think there would be any need. But now... "

 

"And iridium and titanium, Tuvok," Tom hastened to add. "My plans call for both of these metals, too. I think that I can separate enough tritanium from scrap to at least give us a five millimeters of covering on the hull."

 

The tall Vulcan raised his eyebrow, a hint of a grimace clouding his face. "Might I remind you that we have a sizable amount of snow and ice on the ground surface, and... "

 

"...And you don’t like cold weather," Chakotay laughed. "Neither do I. But it looks like we’re going to have to put up with some personal discomfort and make a search." He looked over at Kathryn, a gleam in his eyes remembering times past. "Now that I’ve modified the hovercraft for colder weather, I think that Tuvok and I could take a search team out. Would that be agreeable, Tuvok?"

 

"Mm." the Vulcan demurred. "Mr. Chakotay, have you also supplied the vehicle with adequate survival reserves? This group knows all too well your predilection for disasters."

 

"Always for you, Tuvok. I wouldn’t even want to hazard a guess about being stranded with you," Chakotay laughed, daring a comradely slap on his friend’s back. "I only use those ploys with the women." He winked at Kathryn, who blushed deeply.

 

"All right, folks; it looks like we have lots of projects on our hands," Janeway acclaimed. "Let’s get to work."

 

As the band dispersed to their myriad of chores, she caught up with Chakotay and grabbed his arm, drawing him into a zone for their ears only. "And, Chakotay... I don’t want to hear any stories about you and Tuvok getting caught out in the wilds overnight," she chortled.

 

He reached for her shoulders, pulling her close, and gently kissed the top of her head. "Don’t worry, Kathryn; I’m saving myself for you." Another quick kiss found its way to her lips before he gave her a wave, running to catch up with Tuvok.

 

Janeway turned around, planning to follow Seven in setting up some probes. She was greeted by several familiar faces, all reacting differently to the scene that they had observed... one that she thought was for her and Chakotay alone. But, oh, no. It looked like a secret was now out. Tom beamed as Harry blushed. B’Elanna just shook her head with a low "tsk, tsk" sound. Tuvok’s eyebrow arched higher than she could ever recall, and Seven’s full lips were upturned in slight smirk.

 

"As you were, people," she stated solemnly. "It’s just platonic," she added, realizing that she was starting to protest too much. The group let out a communal laugh, and turned to their tasks.

 

It was good to see their ‘captain’ happy.

 

~~~~

 

Day 180

 

The snow from three days earlier had compacted into a protective layer over the surface of the planet. It had remained cold – very cold – but there was no wind to speak of. The exploration group had spent two days scanning the areas within 100 km of New Hope and had found trace readings for trilithium. Since it was an unstable isotope, they had prepared several containers for transport. At the last minute, Janeway added Seven to the team of Chakotay, Tuvok and Zach Emerson. Seven hesitated at first, determined that her skills would be best used in B’Elanna’s engineering efforts; but Janeway saw a black cloud covering B’Elanna at the mere thought of having to work with the icy Borg. As B’Elanna’s temperament was nothing less than volatile right now, Janeway had suggested the addition to the search team. B’Elanna’s blood pressure visibly dropped when she heard the news.

 

"Thanks, Kathryn. I don’t think I could take another minute of her supercilious attitude."

Janeway laughed silently. That’s the pot calling the kettle black, Ms. Torres!

 

She walked out to the perimeter of the village, where the team was assembling. The last supplies had been loaded, along with the addition of a weather deflection frame. She walked over to Chakotay, bedecked in a cold-weather suit. "Good hunting, folks, and hurry back!"

 

Chakotay came over to her, his eyes asking hers silently about a private good-bye. She smiled at him, then looked at the other team members, who were all watching her next move. Her smile became radiant as she said, "Be careful, Chakotay." Quickly, without a second thought, she kissed him.

 

The hovercraft quietly began its movement, and rose about ten centimeters off the ground. She watched them leave until they were as faint as a magnitude ten star. She sighed, and turned back to the compound. It was getting more and more difficult to say good-bye to him.

 

~~~~

 

Harry Kim and Joe Carey were probably the busiest individuals in New Hope over the next four days. They constantly shuttled back and forth between B’Elanna’s communication enhancement efforts and Tom’s designing and prototype development labors. The Torres/Paris team worked indefatigably, putting in sixteen hour days and meeting on the run. Only when they collapsed for a sleep shift did they ever seem to "see" each other. B’Elanna seemed to have passed through the constant tiredness of early pregnancy, and as her incubating new life grew and became more evident, so did her determination to reach the elusive ship on the dark side of Artemis.

 

Engineering had taken Seven’s ideas for probes to heart and constructed an electromagnetic system that would emit sub-harmonic pulses along an isomagnetic pathway, folding around the curved surfaces of the moon. Using the remains of the photon torpedo disrupter, they theorized that they could aim their search beam towards the target. B’Elanna had first taken on the chore, but Harry rapidly became the foreman of the project, as B’Elanna shifted more to working with Tom. At least in this way they would no longer be strangers!

 

Everyone in New Hope was involved in some way with either the set-up of the communication probe or the task of designing and gathering materials for Tom’s ship. The cold winter air seemed to energize them with hope and promise as they proceeded with their tasks.

 

Janeway became the mother hen, just like the ‘old’ Voyager days. Her rounds of all the activity brought a new vitality to her as well. Even making several trips back to the skeleton of Voyager no longer seemed to haunt her with ghosts of the past. And she made certain that all was well with her away team. If they didn’t contact her every three hours, she interrupted them.

 

It was on their fourth day away from New Hope that their news brought the answers everyone had silently been praying for... they had found a cache of dilithium crystals! Additionally, Tuvok’s scans had indicated veins of several lightweight metals within a talus slope no more than fifty kilometers from them. The snow had melted sufficiently to allow them to search the rockslide for the elements. They would secure the dilithium crystals and head out for the metals the following day.

 

~~~~

 

Day 186

 

Dark clouds hung over the community as the day began. It wasn’t cold enough to snow, but the smell of precipitation was in the air. Kathryn Janeway awoke with a start, as a cold chill ran down her back. She was not a superstitious woman, but she felt that something just was not quite right.

 

She dressed quickly and ran to the engineering area. Joe Carey and Darrell Thomas were already at work when the comm buzzed, indicating an incoming message from the away team. Chakotay’s voice was on the other end.

 

"Is Kathryn there?" he asked, his voice burdened with fatigue.

 

She ran over to the communicator. "I’m here, Chakotay. What’s happened?"

 

He sighed, gathering courage to continue. "We had some heavy rains last night, and they weakened the hillside above us. About an hour ago, we were awakened by a deafening roar. Tons of mud and rock were pouring down the hillside."

 

"And?" she asked, paralyzed with what might follow.

 

"We’re all still here," he continued. "But Tuvok was caught by some of the slide. He’s been injured. It looks like he has a broken pelvis and some internal injuries. We’ve stabilized him, but I think we’ll be returning to New Hope without as much of the ore as we had hoped to get."

 

An audible gasp escaped from Janeway’s mouth. "He’s... he’ll be all right, won’t he?"

 

"I think so. However, I think there is some internal bleeding. I’m not that good with Vulcan anatomy; we really need the doctor to examine him."

 

"How long do you think it will take you to get back?" she asked anxiously.

 

"I would estimate at least a day. We can secure him on the Phoenix; but it will be very uncomfortable for him."

 

"Can I talk with him?" she asked.

 

"Seven has him sedated right now. We decided that, even given his Vulcan will power, it would best to keep him quiet."

 

"Yes... yes, of course," she said, as her mind spun, thinking about the mortality of her seemingly immortal friend. "Do you want me to get the doctor?" she continued.

 

"Not right now. I think that he’s all right for now. We really should get started; we’ll contact you in a couple of hours."

 

"Understood," she answered. "Chakotay..."

 

"I know," he whispered. "We’ll be careful."

 

The link silenced and she closed her eyes, murmuring a silent prayer. She was thankful that Tuvok seemed to be all right, but selfishly she was thinking, It wasn’t you, Chakotay. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.  Her eyes suddenly opened with the realization of her thoughts... praying for the safety of one who wasn’t injured, while allowing Tuvok’s injuries take second place in her concerns. Guiltily, she excused herself and went to find the doctor.

 

Mid-afternoon of the next day, the Phoenix and her occupants returned to New Hope. The doctor and Tom were waiting as the ship softly came to a standstill at the periphery of the village. Cursory scans indicated that Seven’s diagnosis had been correct: the Vulcan’s pelvis was broken in two places, there were liver lacerations, and one of his lungs had collapsed. Tom suggested on-the-spot regenerations, but the doctor wanted to access any further damage. Without a working transporter, it was going to be a delicate operation to move Tuvok.

 

Chakotay came to the rescue with a possibility. "I remember a way that my people used to transport their wounded. They took two long poles and attached a blanket longitudinally in-between the two poles. The injured person was laid on top of the blanket, like a sling, and a person got on each of the four ends of the poles, acting as carriers.

There was a minimum amount of trauma to the injured party in this way." So it was that an ancient Earth method was used to transport Tuvok to sickbay.

 

Janeway was with him the entire time that he was being tended to. Finally, hours later, the doctor had assured her that he would heal and be as good as new in a few days, did she leave his side and greet Chakotay.

 

She found him in his shelter, organizing log entries from their expedition.

 

"Chakotay?" she called out to him. He came to the door.

 

"Well, good to see you, too," he said, a hint of hurt in his voice.

 

She took a step towards him, swallowing hard. "I had to see to Tuvok," she answered.

 

There was hurt in Chakotay’s eyes. "Don’t you think that the doctor could have handled everything without you?" he asked.

 

She sensed his hurt. "Chakotay... he’s my oldest friend here. If something happened to him..."

 

"...it wouldn’t be your fault," he finished.

 

She reached for him, encircling him with her arms. "I didn’t mean to ignore you. It’s just that..."

 

He pulled away from her, grabbing her shoulders. "Kathryn, when are you going to learn that you are not responsible for each and every person in this community? We are all adults... we are responsible for our own actions. We know that every moment of every day is filled with risks and possible injury. You cannot protect each and every person all the time." He pulled away from her, exiting the shelter and looking beyond her. "I don’t mean to sound like I’m jealous or childish in my demands... but I thought that we were... that we had... well, new priorities. To ourselves."

 

She came behind him, tentatively putting her hand on his back, then laying her face on its broad, firm surface. "I know. But I can’t help but think that it’s selfish... my first obligation is to them..."

 

He turned, his eyes bright with a mixture of love and anger. "Kathryn... we are not a Starfleet crew anymore. While your concern is valid and welcomed, no one would deny you to take time to be you... you, Kathryn Janeway, a woman... in a brave new world, searching for a new beginning."

 

Her mind was reeling, torn among all the things that she thought made her "good". How could she allow herself... them... to take priority over everyone else? Her entire adult life had been programmed to this type of response. "And it’s a life that I must learn to live," she finally responded. "It’s something that I must work on... and you must help me," she said.

 

Chakotay looked at her; a pleading look on her face begged his forgiveness and understanding. How could he resist her? He took her into his arms. "Together," he whispered. "We will learn many new ways... together." He took her hand and led her into the shelter, quietly closing the door behind them.

 

~~~~

 

Day 188

 

"Ms. Torres, I know that you don’t think it’s necessary... that you have always worked within all safety perimeters. But, think about your baby; don’t you want to protect her? I *insist* that you be inoculated with an anti-radiation vaccine if you’re determined to hands-on supervise the dilithium processing," the EMH argued with his stubborn "patient".

"And I say that your vaccine might hurt her just as much," protested the head engineer.

"You are not thinking logically," the doctor continued. "The chances are 459,321 to 1 that there would be any injury to the fetus."

 

"And I’m not willing to take that chance. I’ll so note in my log that I refused your advice, doctor," she said, making a huffy exit from their interview. The EMH shook his head as he left the engineering facility, muttering something under his breath about being thankful that there was only one pregnant Klingon in their group; any more would certainly cause him to overload his programming. Now he had to face Tom Paris and Kathryn Janeway and inform them of his failure in convincing B’Elanna of the need for protection. Thank goodness his other obstinate patient was actually listening to his recommendations, and was resting and recuperating.

 

Three days later, he pronounced Tuvok to be back to his normal irascible self. Actually, the EMH wanted to get Tuvok out of sickbay as soon as possible; the Vulcan man was starting to get on his nerves, complaining every time he starting singing. The doctor *liked* to sing... there was nothing better to accompany protein synthesis research than singing the aria, yoH bang, from the wonderful Klingon opera, Qatlh voDleH, with full voice and gusto. Vulcans never appreciated the finer things in life!

 

~~~~

 

Day 196

 

Cannibalized remains from Voyager and synthesis from the ore found by the early scouting team and additional supplies of metals recovered by a second group proved to be excellent building materials to implement Tom’s shuttlecraft plans. Engineering added to its probe design tasks those of helping Tom’s team allocate the materials needed; it was a busy hive of worker bees. B’Elanna’s maternal instincts were rapidly surfacing, as she ran back and forth between the two groups, supervising all the tasks. As the days progressed, she appeared more and more drawn, not taking the doctor’s prescribed rest breaks and ignoring the nutritional supplements he prescribed for her. When Tom tried gently to persuade her to delegate a little more and slow down a bit, he caught the full wrath of her Klingon temperament.

 

"I know when I need rest," she had snipped at him. "And this is for *your* ship, so let me get on with my work," she barked at him.

 

"It’s for all of us," he tried to delicately remind her. However, she was off and running again, as she heard Hank Collins yelling for help in lifting a manifold array. Tom turned to go back to his group.

 

A dull ‘thud’ snapped his attention back to the direction his wife had taken. The sound was followed by an equally muffled groan. B’Elanna had made the distance halfway to her soliciting coworker when an excruciating wave of spasms overtook her and her legs gave out from underneath her rapidly moving body. She collapsed into a motionless heap on the floor of the complex.

 

"B’Elanna!" Tom yelled, turning back to her slumped form. Collins likewise turned, his own concern evident.

 

The two men reached her about the same time. Tom took her in his arms as Collins slapped his commbadge, summoning the doctor. B’Elanna’s face was a pallid ashen color. Her eyes briefly flitted open, full of panic and pain.

 

"Tom... " she managed to say before she drifted into unconsciousness.

 

Tom Paris’s cry of agony echoed through the complex, piercing the cold air of the community outside. He was frozen in terror as the EMH suddenly appeared beside him and B’Elanna. The doctor gently pried him away from B’Elanna’s motionless form.

 

"I’ve got her, Mr. Paris," he said softly. "Why don’t you and Mr. Collins step outside for a moment? I’ll call you back."

 

"No," Tom snapped, his eyes brimming with tears. "I belong here... she’s my wife and I belong here."

 

"What’s wrong, Tom?" a husky, concerned voice asked as Kathryn Janeway appeared in the area. Her eyes immediately looked from Tom to the doctor, kneeling over B’Elanna’s fallen form, as he was scanning her.

 

"Oh, no!" Janeway said softly, sensing the situation. "What... how...?" she asked.

 

The EMH was in no mood to be suffered lightly. "Would you people let me find out what is going on? Please, Kathryn... control Mr. Paris."

 

Janeway gently pulled the younger man away a few steps, his body shuddering with stifled sobs of fear. "Tom, he’s right; let’s leave them for a few moments." Tom leaned against her small form and finally allowed himself to turn away.

 

After what seemed to be an eternity, a period during which all the worst nightmares of his life flew through his mind, Tom heard a low moan from B’Elanna. There was nothing Kathryn could do to stop him; he ran back to where she was lying and knelt beside her. With an exasperated sigh, the EMH acknowledged him.

 

"Well, Mr. Paris, it would seem that your very headstrong wife is finally going to be rewarded with an enforced period of rest."

 

"She’s... the baby... they’re all right?" Tom stammered.

 

"For now... yes," the doctor stated flatly. "But... it have detected signs of placenta privia. All of Ms. Torres’ physical activity is not going to do anything to alleviate the situation... indeed, her body has just sternly warned her that if she does not stay off her feet as much as possible and maintain a calm demeanor that your future daughter’s life will certainly be in jeopardy."

 

Tom’s staggered breathing became more regular as he absorbed the seriousness of the diagnosis. The doctor continued.

 

"There are some ruptured vessels that have placed stress on the autonomic nervous system, causing her collapse. I have stopped the hemorrhaging before too much damage was done, and the pressure has been released. As a more even oxygen distribution is achieved, she should be regaining consciousness momentarily.

 

As if on cue, B’Elanna’s eyes fluttered open and her face regained some color. She looked up at Tom, who again was cradling her in his arms.

 

"Tom?" she called out weakly.

 

"I’m right here," he answered, kissing her clammy forehead. "It’s... it’s all right."

 

She looked around and saw the doctor. Panic gripped her again. "The baby!" she cried out, reaching out to cradle her swollen abdomen.

 

"She’s all right... for now," the doctor stated sternly. "But... you are going to have to follow my orders precisely from now on, Ms. Torres."

 

She quickly looked at Tom, who firmly nodded in agreement. "No more stubborn foolishness, my dear wife. We want this baby to come into life with a big, healthy squalling Klingon battle cry."

 

B’Elanna knew that she was finally going to have to give in to the doctor’s orders. Just then, as if to reinforce the need, Samantha Kathryn let out a mighty kick within her mother. B’Elanna grimaced and then let out a weak laugh. "Oomph! It seems like someone else is telling me to behave myself, too." She sighed. "All right, doctor; give me your prescription."

 

Tom held her closely, thanking the creating and protective spirits of the universe for this wonderful woman, who now begrudgingly listened as the doctor told her, in no minced words, that if she wanted to be a mother, she was going to have to cease being a task-driven engineer. She could give her orders either via comm links or sitting down. That was the bottom line.

 

Kathryn Janeway silently watched the scene unfold, absorbing the love and devotion in the young couple... clinging to each other, comforting each other; learning to balance their love for each other and their devotion to duty and community.

 

~*~

 

Day 201

 

Engineering... and B’Elanna... had adjusted to her new limitations. Daily meetings of the leaders of all the various teams kept everyone abreast of the rates of progress of the various projects within the community. Although there were the inevitable setbacks and restructuring problems, morale was high, except in the one person who was usually the chief morale booster among the group.

 

As a daily meeting was breaking up, Janeway went over to Neelix, noting that the usually jovial Talaxian had not been contributing his normal lively comments to their sessions. Oh, he was doing his job by keeping the group well-fed with warm and nourishing comfort foods – so necessary right now – but he lacked the sparkle that was so much him. She thought that he might be regressing back into the depression that had followed Sam’s death. She caught up with him, trying to broach the subject as casually as possible, starting with small talk about the weather. Nevertheless, Neelix, with whom people skills and reading hidden agendas was second nature, saw through her approach.

 

"It’s Naomi, Captain.," Neelix blurted out, sensing a sympathetic audience. "She... she’s afraid of the dark again and neither of us is getting much sleep. I know that she misses her mother... spirits know that I do, too." The little man’s eyes were bright with pending tears. I’ve told her stories... I’ve replicated more and more stuffed figures for her... nothing seems to work. I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve talked to the doctor, and all he says is that ‘it’s a phase’ and that she’ll outgrow it." He blinked, his eyes pleading for an explanation --- or, at least, understanding.

 

Janeway put her arm around him. "Neelix, I don’t know about you when you were young, but when I was a girl about Naomi’s age, I also was afraid of the dark."

 

Neelix raised his head, a stifled gulp coming from his surprised face. "You, Captain? I can’t ever imagine your being afraid of anything!"

 

Janeway continued her comforting embrace, smiling in remembrance of nights many years ago. "Oh, yes --- I most certainly was!"

 

"How… how did you overcome it? Did you just ‘outgrow’ it?"

 

Janeway laughed again. "It was my Irish grandmother... Moira Janeway... who ‘cured’ me." She looked deeply into Neelix’s eyes. "Want me to try some of my Irish magic with Naomi?"

 

"Oh, would you, Captain? *Anything* would be helpful!"

 

"Just buzz me when it’s time for Naomi to go to bed tonight," Kathryn Janeway said quietly.

 

"I will," Neelix responded, heading off towards his habitat, with a step that, if not more energetic than before, at least seemed more hopeful.

 

Naomi Wildman’s admiration for Kathryn Janeway was no secret, so when Neelix told the precocious youngster that he had invited the captain for an ice cream treat that evening, the little girl was ready and waiting. Neelix contacted Janeway, inviting her to join them for an ice cream treat. The once-more-working replicators spun out three large dishes of the dessert for the waiting women: a coffee-flavored scoop for the captain; pistachio for Neelix; and Naomi’s favorite, rocky road.

 

As the last spoonfuls were licked clean, Neelix gently announced that it was time for bed. Naomi immediately started whining, her composure becoming almost infantile.

"No, Neelix, no! It gets dark when I get into my bed and then... and then..."

 

"And then what?" Kathryn asked soothingly.

 

"And then... bad things happen!"

 

Janeway knelt down, taking the little girl into her arms.

 

"Have any bad things ever happened to you in the dark?" she asked.

 

"No," Naomi pouted. "But... they can! My mind shows me pictures of things that can!"

 

Janeway continued. "May I take you into your sleeping area, Naomi? Maybe I can tell you a story that will make those bad pictures go away."

 

Naomi looked at Janeway and then to Neelix, who nodded a ‘yes’ to her.

 

"All right. Maybe ‘cause you’re the Captain..." she said, taking Janeway’s’ hand and leading her towards the small alcove that housed her bed. Neelix followed them, and pulled back the covers of the bed as Janeway picked up Naomi and gently sat her on the flat surface. A soundless message passed between Neelix and Kathryn, and Neelix tiptoed out. Janeway’s allegiance quickly turned to Naomi. She and Naomi silently watched Neelix leave, and they rapidly formed an unspoken confederacy.

 

Kathryn Janeway lowered her face to Naomi’s, her eyes wide with conspiracy as she whispered to the child. "Naomi, I would like to pass along a secret to you – a secret meant only for very special people. My grandmother told me I was a very special person, and so I could learn the secret. And I believe you are a very special person, so I would like to pass it along to you. Would you like that?"

 

"Oh, yes, Captain! I’m your helper – I know I’m special!"

 

Janeway cuddled the child snugly into her arms and then motioned with her head to the scene they saw outside of the small window above the headboard of Naomi’s bed. Janeway’s soothing voice continued to speak to the small girl.

 

"That you are, Naomi. And that’s why I’m going to tell you all about it." Her arm reached upward, pointing to the stars hanging effortlessly in the inky darkness of space surrounding them.

 

"See all the stars twinkling in the space all around us? Did you know that they are really fairies dancing and twirling in a deep blue velvet room? They dance to get your attention, for they want you to join them in their play."

 

Naomi looked at her seriously. "How can they dance when there isn’t any music?"

 

"Ah, but there is! However, you must join them before you can hear the music. And then, you hear all sorts of beautiful sounds and see the prettiest sights."

 

The youngster queried, "If I join them, will I become a star?"

 

Kathryn’s laughter now supplied the music. "Oh, no; it’s only for the night, when you are asleep. When morning comes, you will awake as yourself – but you will remember all of the music and the laughter. You see, we need the nights to help us through our days – to put smiles on our faces and joy in our steps. The twinkle of the stars becomes the twinkle in our eyes. We are happy and excited, just as if we’ve been dancing the night away."

 

So you see, Naomi… there is nothing to fear about the dark. If you dance with the stars, you, too, can look beyond any fears. Look out at all of the stars – the fairies – surrounding us. Without the darkness, we wouldn’t be able to see their dance. And without the dance, we wouldn’t have smiles on our faces the next morning." She hugged the Ktarian/human girl to her, kissing the top of her auburn hair.

 

Naomi sank into her embrace, comforted and drowsy. "I like that story. And I like to dance," she said sleepily.

 

Janeway smiled, recalling the times that she had seen Naomi aimlessly twirling around in her youthful enthusiasm. "I know you do," she said. "I also liked to dance when I was a girl."

 

Naomi’s head was nodding, but she asked drowsily, "Captain, do you still dance with the stars?"

 

The comment took Janeway by surprise. She had not thought of this story for a long time... nor had she danced with the stars for along time. She looked down at the nodding child and smiled. "Not as often as I should, Naomi."

 

She looked down. Naomi was sound asleep, leaning into her. Slowly she lowered the girl into her bed, pulling up the covers and lovingly arranging them around the now peaceful child. She leaned down and, placing a gentle kiss on Naomi’s cheek, silently backed away from the bed and whispered under her breath as she left the darkened room:

"Perhaps I should remember to dance with the stars again. It’s time to have a little more music in my life."

 

Janeway slipped out of the darkened room, and smiled at Neelix. "She’ll be fine, Neelix. Just don’t be surprised if she asks you for the stars."

 

Neelix chuckled softly, rubbing his hands together. "Kathryn, for never having been a mother, you certainly have a mother’s touch."

 

She laughed, as she left. "All a part of being a Starfleet captain, Neelix. You’d be surprised what they teach you in command school!"

 

She began walking back to her bioshelter when she suddenly became aware of the time... and a promise she had made earlier in the day to meet Chakotay there at 2100; she hadn’t told him that she was going to visit Naomi, and now she was late for their ‘appointment’! Hurrying to his shelter, she knocked on the door.

 

 She was surprised when Tuvok met her at the door. "Hello, Kathryn," he said formally.

 

"Tuvok, is Chakotay here? He and I were... um... supposed to go over some figures together."

 

"Chakotay left about twenty minutes ago," the Vulcan answered with no hint of emotion or explanation on his face. "He said something about being tired of being ‘stood up’ and went over the central building, I believe."

 

"Thank you, Tuvok," she said, turning as she spoke. She knew that he would be angry and he had every right to be.

 

Each horizon hosted a moon and their crossing light beams threw peculiar shadows on the frost-covered ground as she made the short trip between the two buildings. The shadows were long and thin, with hazy halos around them. Lights and noise flooded from the common room of the central building, but she couldn’t hear his voice among the chorus.

 

The door opened upon her approach and she took a step inside, scanning the various tables and groups of people, but he wasn’t there. Well, served her right; why... when things seemed to be going right for her and Chakotay, did things begin to take wrong turns with an increasing frequency? Just as Naomi was afraid of the dark, she seemed to be getting more apprehensive about their growing relationship. She sighed, rubbing her hands together and blowing on them to warm them in the chilled night air. She lowered her head against a sudden wind, and forged her way homeward towards her shelter.

A broad shadow appeared on the ground in front of her, a shadow with twin heads and multiple limbs... certainly a monster in the night if she hadn’t understood the shadows formed by the twin moons. She would have run into him if he hadn’t spoken.

 

"Kathryn..." the shadow said in a low voice.

 

She looked up at Chakotay, shivering himself, outside without benefit of a protective jacket. She instinctively reached up and started rubbing his arms, attempting to warm him.

 

She started to speak, but he cut her off, his impatience barely hidden in his voice. "I thought we were supposed to meet tonight. Instead, I found out that you were with Neelix and Naomi. Is everything all right? Why didn’t you contact me?"

 

"I’m sorry... I truly am. I... I meant to let you know. Neelix has been having some problems with getting Naomi to sleep and asked if I could help him. He called me when he was putting her down for the night, and I just lost track of time. Really... I didn’t forget about us..."

 

"And so, once more, it was good old Kathryn to the rescue!" He shook his head, knowing that he probably would never break her of always wanting to help. But then... that was one of the things that he loved about her... her selflessness and lack of any pretension. Even when she was in her "captain mode", there was love and concern exuding from every pore in her. However, her constant care for others was starting to take its toll on her; Kathryn Janeway was now the one who needed care and understanding.

 

He gathered her close in his arms as they walked... at a fast pace now, with the cold descending. A knowing laugh was in his voice as he stated the obvious. "Kathryn, you’ve got to stop living everyone else’s lives for them. Yes, you’re our leader... but not a mother or nurse to everyone. You must let people do things for themselves... and let us become ourselves, too. Really – B’Elanna has Tom; Naomi has Neelix; Harry has Sarah. We are a community of strong individuals who have gained in our strength and capabilities. Let them go… let them grow! If you really have a need to be needed, try me."

 

She sighed and leaned into his protective frame, allowing herself to be dependent on him for a change. "No, I’m the one who is in the most need. Chakotay, not a day goes by now that I can’t imagine living without you by my side. When you left with the search team, I felt more alone than I ever have before. Oh, I know that we were in constant communication with each other, but you weren’t here... where I could see you... hear you... touch you. For so long, I’ve allowed myself to be isolated, and not need anyone... not reach out to anyone."

 

She stopped... they stopped. She looked up at him, his head now framed in moon glow, his eyes drawing her to him like black holes... his strength becoming her strength. She continued.

 

"But... when I saw how Tom was with B’Elanna when she collapsed the other day... and how she... as a tough Klingon... reached out to him, and accepted his love and help... I saw... us." He opened his arms and enclosed her small body within their massive embrace, not daring to breathe, not wanting to break the fragile mood. This woman... so strong, so fragile... so beautiful!

 

She looked up at him, her eyes radiant with a quiet peace. "Chakotay, I need you... I need you to calm and strengthen me, to hold me and love me. Stay with me," she murmured, looking up at the twinkling stars above them. "Come dance in the stars with me."

 

He felt her body meld with his, and he said, his voice providing the music, "In the stars and wherever else in this universe you want to dance"