by Delta Story
July 1998
(NC-17)
~*~
But she was a scientist, a person for whom nothing existed unless it were proven. No, she did not need to actually see something to know of its existence and purpose, but she had to be convinced, by visual, logical or mathematical proof. Twists of the mind and fabrications of the soul were not for her. And yet... he could and did attain a state which she knew she had never achieved.
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She waited until she knew that he was absorbed in the secret project he had told her that he was working on. She then quietly followed his now well-worn trail into the woods. The scruffy shrubs and grass soon became saplings that wrapped around her, shrouding her from all signs of their clearing, inviting her into the calming sylvan chamber.
On she walked, still following his trail, imagining that she could sense... smell... feel his presence there with her. There was a sense of vibrancy and life as she looked around at the verdant world surrounding her. Gentle zephyrs sang their melodious music through the branches and leaves. Streaks of colored twitters and their accompanying sweet songs alerted her to the presence of birds. She smiled silently, shaking her head as she realized that she had not even taken the time to listen to the natural music that was all around her.
The trees grew in stature, their branches now well above her head. The pale rays of the midday sun played hide and seek between the living canopy of leaves. The ground beneath her feet had assumed the cushioned carpet of the forest, muffling her footsteps. The only noise she heard other that the avian music high above was the soft whoosh of her own breathing, its rhythm in syncopation with her heartbeat. Her entire body was in harmonic periodicity with the natural world around her. She stopped and closed her eyes, pulling the fragrant air into her lungs, allowing the unseen molecules to cleanse her of all the accumulated toxins of years of shipboard artificial air. Its coolness was astringent to the delicate tissue, and startled her eyes open once more. Exhilarated, she moved ahead into the unknown with a new brisk step.
A clearing suddenly appeared. A soft green grass area, about 50 feet across, was circled by the tall darker trees. The sun once more lit the air, and produced a pale golden glow to the area. She lifted her hand to shade her eyes from the unexpected brightness. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she saw a lone tree in the center of the glade. It was only a third as tall as the wooden guardians encircling the edge, and its leaves appeared a lighter shade of green... or was that because of the sun which spotlighted the solitary tree?
She moved towards the woody object. As she came up to it, she could see that its trunk was not as straight as the other trees she had passed in her journey, and its branches also were torqued and twisted. She peered up into the mangled mess of the branches and smiled in satisfied surprise, for there, among its tortured growth, were dozens and dozens of apples... lovely, deep red, ripe apples. Her elation moved into her hand and she reached up towards one of the treats, ready for picking.
Suddenly, she sensed that her hand was not the only moving object reaching for the branch. She jumped back, her eyes opening wide with a chilling realization of what she saw.
From the back of the contorted trunk, a long dark green and gold cylinder of moving slime and flesh slithered circuitously around the tree. Two large black eyes stared out at her, mesmerizing her with their inky stare. An elongated head, ominously lined with shadows of scales, was slashed with a pseudo-smile from a wide mouth from which a narrow threadlike tongue dipped back and forth. It was a snake... and a rather large one at that.
She froze. They had not seen any snakes on New Earth yet, and she had hoped that they would not. Although she had no reason to fear them (for all Starfleet personnel were immunized against toxins from the animals), there was that primordial human fear of the reptiles.
The snake continued to pull itself from behind the tree trunk and coiled itself around the very branch for which she had been reaching. In the course of its slow journey, not once did it break the eye contact which now attached them. Its three foot long body lovingly embraced the gnarled branch.
"So... you have found my place," she thought she heard the snake 'say'.
Nonsense, she thought, breaking the eye contact by firmly closing her eyes and shaking her head, as if to brush away this nightmare.
"You will not get rid of me that easily," she heard it say again. Her eyes popped open, only to see the animal now looking at her with an almost-grin on its face.
All right; get a grip, Kathryn! she thought. This is not real; you are hallucinating. Something you inhaled in the forest... must be causing you to see.. and hear!... things that are not there.
"I know what you are thinking. You do not believe that I am real. Oh, but I am, Kathryn. And we are here together."
"Nothing you can say will get me to believe that," she spat out at the snake.
"But... you are now talking to me; does that not prove something?" the creature queried.
"All it proves is that I am allowing myself to be drawn more into this little delusion," she curtly said to it.
"Do you want to believe that I am real?" it asked slyly.
"Only if it will allow me to return to my normal state."
A smile oozed across the snake’s face. "Do you not want to know who I am?"
"I know who you are... you are a figment of my imagination," she tossed back, starting to turn away out of the open area.
"Wait... Kathryn! Why do you think he comes out here every day?"
She turned abruptly, fire in her eyes.
"Him? Do you mean Chakotay? Why he comes here everyday? How do you know him?"
The glistening green coils moved down the branch, slowly inching closer to this stubborn woman. Its sinuous movements reminded her of him when he stretched languidly in the mornings, as the early sun warmed his muscles and invigorated his body... that firm, inviting body...
She again shook her head, wondering from where such thoughts had arisen.
"How do I know him? Oh, I have known him for a long time. I am with him constantly," the snake stated conspiratorially.
Still incredulous, she pushed onward. "And just how do you know him? I’ve been with him for three years and he has never told me about you."
"Oh, but he has; you just haven’t been listening."
She was getting quite provoked at this fork-tongued coil of slime. So firm it was, so solid... just like she knew he would be, with movement that was back and forth, up and down, solid and filling and embracing...
Those thoughts again... she knew that she was hallucinating now, for never had she allowed herself to think such thoughts, at least about him!
"Believe me, if he had ever mentioned you to me --- " she stopped short, a gasp halting the quick intake of air that she had gulped. "You... you... you are his spirit guide!" she said, as the realization rang true; and she swore that she heard a low laugh escape from the spiral of flesh in front of her.
"You are a very smart woman," said the snake. "He has told me so many times. But he has also told me of a great hidden sorrow that you bear."
"Why would he do that?" she asked, leaning in closer to the embodied spirit.
"Because he has... great concern for you. He would like for you to find peace and contentment."
"I am content," she retorted. "And I do not need a spirit guide to help me."
"Then why did you follow his trail? Why did you seek me out?"
"I did not seek you." She sighed, and hung her head for a moment, still trying to fathom the improbability of this conversation. "And... I followed his trail just so I could better understand what he does when he comes into the woods."
"I do not believe you, Kathryn; you seek knowledge and wisdom of the unknown just as he does."
"But my searches are for the realities and truths of the universe, not for the fleeting intangibility of spirits and ghosts."
"And what do you think you are seeing when you are looking at me?" the animal prodded once more.
"I am probably seeing images that are subconscious in my mind; ideas that I could imagine were true if I were given proof."
"Ah; it is proof that you need, eh, my dear woman? All right... how is this for proof?"
The animal sprang loose from its arboreal resting place, and with its tightening coils, twisted itself around her left arm and shoulder. She cried out with alarm as well as surprise, for the darting dark tongue was now mere inches from her face.
"Am I real to you now, Kathryn? Can you feel me? Can you taste my venomous breath?"
With her right hand, she grabbed ahold of the firm midcoils of the reptilian body, pulling at them to loosen their grip.
"What more do I need to do to convince you?"
She was now shaking her body, both intentionally and with the rapidly surfacing fear.
"Yes; I believe you are real! Please... get off of me and go back to the tree!" she yelled, trying to contain the rising hysterical tone in her voice.
The snake coiled more tightly around her arm, its tongue now flicking its tips against the soft flesh of her cheek. Her eyes closed at the sensation of its touch, for it was not rough and frightful, but tender and sweet, inviting her to join her flesh with his, dancing with intimate movements of promised penetration... longing to feel the release of his venom into her body...
"Whatever you want, Kathryn," the snake responded, breaking her wayward thoughts. The muscular coil released itself abruptly, and once more sought refuge on the tree branch. Her arm suddenly felt deserted, devoid of his embrace.
"Is this what you want, Kathryn? For me to leave you alone?"
"Yes! I mean, no; please stay. Tell me more."
"Ah, but I am a spirit guide. I do not tell you what to do, I merely lead you to make your own decisions."
"Is that what you do with him?"
"Always. I cannot force anyone to do anything against his or her own free will."
"Then..." she said, looking around for something that might pique his interest, and spying one of the tempting fruits on the tree, "then you would allow me to take one of these apples..."
"Of course; if that is what you want..."
She reached up to the branch, and pulled one of the deep red fruit from its tree home.
"And I could eat it...."
"Anytime. It has been there all the while for you..."
She raised the ruby orb to her mouth.
"I can bite into it and savor it..."
"It is waiting for you, just waiting for you to come to it..."
She bit into the fruit, its sweet juice bursting forth from the firm flesh... just like I want him to burst inside me and satisfy me with his delicious succulence.
Her eyes widened with the knowledge of what had happened. A muffled laugh came from the snake as it slithered away from the tree, quickly disappearing in the dark grass on the other side of the glen.
"It has been there all the while, waiting for you, Kathryn. It is for you to accept or deny..." the snake’s voiced echoed as it departed.
She quickly pulled the fruit away from her face, looking at it as if it were a Bajoran orb bestowing a vision upon her. What had just happened? Those thoughts... those images... the snake.
Had it all been there for her all this while? Of course it had been... and he had been. He was waiting for her, right now, patiently waiting for her to make the decision.
She took another bite from the apple. It was sweet, just like life could be sweet, if only she would let it. Another bite... and she knew what she wanted. Another bite... and now she knew that what she wanted was what he wanted.... Another bite... No more loneliness... no more fear. A new knowledge... a revelation. And it had been there all along. She reached up and pulled another apple off the tree, for she wanted to share this with him. This time, the snake did not throw us out of Eden; it gave us our own paradise, she thought, as she happily tossed the apple up and down in her hand. A secret smile wrapped her face as she began her journey back to the encampment; how could she ever be afraid of snakes again?
She knew that he went into the woods early in the morning to meditate. Oh, how she wished she had that amount of faith in the unknown; how it would help her survive... exist... accept! Today, when he had returned, the look of peace on his face had soothed her mood. She immediately felt the transferred effect, and a brief thought appeared in her mind; what if... what if I sought his spirit strength? Would I gain the same serenity?