Chakotay was fuming as he stormed towards his quarters. Not only had that damned holodeck program nearly caused serious injury to half of Voyager’s senior staff, it was obvious that it had become an addiction to a large portion of the entire crew, the Captain included.

In the beginning, he had thought that the seemingly harmless infatuation that Kathryn appeared to be having with the dark, gloomy holographic Michael Sullivan was a good diversion for her. It allowed her some frivolous interaction from which she was usually deprived – it was simple escapist fun. But now, she was visiting Fair Haven, with its "open door" policy, with increasing frequency. Okay, so she *did* seem to be more relaxed, and she was laughing more; but the jokes were of the private kind, ones she wasn’t sharing even with him, like she used to do. Then... this afternoon... there was her little cock-tease statement of "My boyfriend is malfunctioning...", complete with pseudo-innocent smirk and batting eyelashes -- what the hell was *that* all about? Had she *really* been intimate with that glorified sex toy? She might as well have ordered something from one of the sleazy back-alley stores on Risa. What the hell; for that matter, a leola root would even do the job! Besides... a hologram could never hold her the way he could... with solid flesh and warm blood... loving arms and hands caressing and cajoling... and a body that ached to be one with her. Did he have a life and a soul with history and experience that could grow and fill every void within in her?

He entered his quarters, suddenly wishing he had at least one door to slam hard. He sighed, deeply depressed as he remembered that he had crew reports to review, including the one regarding the recent events of the EMH having "lived" on the ‘Sky Ship’ planet for three years. What had the doctor meant when he said that he "had a son?" Did he... could he... have actually fathered a child with a humanoid? Chakotay shook his head in disbelief, tossing away the incredulous notion. And yet, the Doctor had said before that he was "fully functional". No; it couldn’t be possible. Or could it? He hit his comm badge.

"Chakotay to the Doctor."

"Sickbay; please state the nature of the medical emergency," answered the familiar smug voice.

Stifling a laugh, Chakotay responded. "Um... Doctor... I was going over your report of your mission to the ‘Sky Ship’ planet and there are a few... uh... gaps that I’d like you to explain further."

"Of course, Commander. What would you like to know?"

"Um... maybe I’d better come to sickbay to talk with you. Are you busy?"

With a sigh, the voice at the other end said, "I’m the only one in the area right now; actually, Commander, I could stand a little company."

"On my way," Chakotay answered, already headed for the door.

~~~~~

The Doctor was at his desk when Chakotay entered the medical area.

"Ah, Commander; that was fast."

"Well... uh... yes. I just wanted to get this report out of the way."

The EMH swiveled in his chair, waving his arm broadly, inviting the first officer to be seated in the other chair in the office.

"So... what are these important details?"

Chakotay lowered his head, shaking it with an embarrassed nod. "Well, I don’t know how to phrase this; it’s really rather personal." He gulped and took a quick breath. He felt his face flush as he began his inquiry. "Uh... when you returned from the ‘Sky Ship’ planet, you stated that you had... left a companion and a child. I... I was wondering... um… if the child was yours… and… um… if so… how this... *if* this... could really happen... "

The Doctor sensed the question and nodded knowledgeably.. "Ah. It’s time for a little explanation of holographic birds and bees, is that it, Commander?"

Chakotay wanted to melt into the floor. *What* had he been thinking about? He wouldn’t pry into Vulcan pon farr; why was he snooping into another "race’s" sexual functionings? "Well, yes; I guess that’s one way of putting it," he mumbled. "I mean... I know that you have intimated before that you could... I mean, that you are..."

The Doctor looked at Chakotay, whose face was several shades paler than it had been when he came in. He was now fumbling with his hands, obviously far more apprehensive and nervous than he should be for a simple fact-finding session. A quick mental review by the EMH of the events of the day called up an earlier event that he had heard about, something that had occurred on the bridge. It didn’t take much to connect today’s happenings with Captain Janeway’s earlier confidences with him regarding the extent of her own "physical" involvement with the holographic Michael Sullivan. "Commander, we’re both adults; you don’t have to play coy with me. You want to know how it works… how it’s done, is that correct?"

Sweat was now starting to roll down Chakotay’s neck as he answered weakly. "Yes... I guess that’s right."

"Hmmm," the EMH said, stroking his chin, trying to decide how to proceed. He looked directly into Chakotay’s anxious eyes. "Would you like a brief summary or a detailed clinical account of the procedure?" Without waiting for an answer, he continued. "Oh, but you’re an anthropologist, aren’t you? I’m sure that you need *all* the details." He rose with a slither from his chair and walked around his desk, his voice, mind and stance assuming his best lecture mode. "All right, Commander; here’s how it happens." If the Commander wanted to sweat and put himself through this self-torture, then, by the spirits, he would get the whole picture!

"Prelude activity -- I believe you humans refer to it as ‘foreplay’ -- is pretty much the same in the realm of photonic relationships. Now, you can appreciate that I can only give you a personal testimony based on a *male* hologram’s point-of-view..."

"Yes," Chakotay nodded weakly, twisting in the suddenly very uncomfortable chair, with the EMH threatening to invade his private space both physically and emotionally.

The Doctor clasped his hands behind his back, as his voice began its didactic drone and he began his stern scholarly discourse.

"Arousal in the holographic male is similar to that of the human in that it occurs when there has been sufficient stimulation by a variety of catalysts via the programmed senses. If a holographic individual has not been programmed to react to tactile or visual stimulation, he can will himself into a state of tumescence, adjusting accordingly to the level of arousal in his human partner." He leaned into Chakotay conspiratorially and whispered, "I have given myself a sub-routine that adjusts itself accordingly to the verbal responses uttered by the female and increases in body temperature. Of course, I *can* appreciate tactile stimuli also... at a much more enhanced level than humans, I might add," which he did quite self-satisfied. He resumed his lecture.

"Once the female has indicated that she is prepared for actual intercourse, the holographic program begins its superior operation. Upon penetration, the holographic member is programmed to adjust to ‘fit’ the receiver's vagina, matching it for width and length. A ‘homing device’ focuses onto and finds the G-spot within the females’ vagina.. A ‘tickler’-like protrusion develops just where it should anatomically so that there is simultaneous clitoral and G-spot stimulation. Thrusting motion is programmed to be exactly 5.65% harder with each entry. Upon reaching the cervix, motion becomes firm enough to provide pleasurable pain, but backs off if response from the receiver requests it. The tumescence throbs with increasing rhythm, adjusting its frictional surface as vaginal fluids accumulate and vibrations and constrictions of the vagina increase."

The EMH glanced at Chakotay. The poor man was in a shocked stupor, breathing in short gasps and trembling all over. The doctor continued his explanation.

"The program is designed so that the female partner always ‘comes’ first. Thrusting motion of the holographic penis maintains its motion if it senses the possibility of multiple orgasms, and will continue for thirty to sixty seconds after the final orgasm of the female. The holographic male orgasm which then occurs, consists of irregular but increasing pulses of electromagnetic energy which combine with the accumulated female lubrications, causing a form of ‘short circuit’ of electromagnetic energy. This energy passes to the nerve synapses in the vagina and radiates throughout the female body via the autonomic nervous system, giving her, if you will, the ultimate, all-body orgasm. The holographic penis gradually loses its integrity as it is withdrawn; this withdrawal is slow. As the member becomes more flaccid, small nubs appear on the organ's surface. These nubs provide further stimulation to the vaginal walls as it is withdrawn. Finally, just before it pulls out of the vagina entirely, a small hook appears on the tip, which briefly grabs the female’s sensitive engorged clitoris as it passes by. This elicits a final paroxysm that courses throughout her body. As with human males, at this point the holographic male has the option to ask: *Was it good for you?*"

The doctor glanced at the mortified expression on Chakotay’s face. He then proceeded with his verbal coup de grace. "And that, my dear Commander, is the reason for the smile on Captain Janeway's face."

The doctor resumed a sedate position in his chair behind the desk. "Are there any further questions?"

Chakotay shook his head, his face a portrait of a devastated man. He was desperately trying to will away the vivid mental images that had overtaken him. He finally stood, his legs weak and rubbery. His voice finally regained enough composure to answer the EMH. "No, Doctor; you have given me more than I ever expected to learn." He managed a small amount fortitude to close their session. "Thank you for a most... informative presentation." His stature indicated that he was not at all happy; he walked towards the door, a defeated deflated man.

The Doctor called out after him. "Oh, Commander; please don’t be disheartened by this little talk. Perfection grows old quickly... or so I’ve been told," he sighed. "The spontaneity of *the real thing* seems to be as much of an aphrodisiac to human women as flawlessness. Or so I’ve been told," he concluded with a sigh.

The barest flicker of a bright glimmer surfaced on Chakotay’s face. Yes, that was it; perfection malfunctions; human nature excites. He had been patient this long; he could wait a little longer. Warm, fallible flesh and blood would win out eventually... he just *knew* it!

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