Chakotay stood by the edge of the bed, his legs shaking, perspiration dripping coldly down his back, his hands clammy, his heart pounding. After seven years, Kathryn Janeway had finally said ‘yes’! Well, maybe he hadn’t asked her that particular question, but she sure as hell was offering!

He hadn’t expected it; it came out of nowhere. They had been at a small party in Tom and B’Elanna’s quarters and both consumed far too much wine. They laughed as they held onto each other walking back to their own quarters; neither ever could have made the walk without help!

“Come on in,” she said when they got there.

He had resisted at first.

“Coffee… that’s what we both need,” she purred.

‘Why not?’ he thought.

Coffee served, coffee consumed. Two people at ease. Two bodies relaxing on her sofa. Four feet plopped up on the low table in front of the sofa.

“Mm,” she murmured. “Now – what I need is to get a little more comfortable.” She winked at him as she got up and slithered over towards her bedroom. Yes, that was exactly what she did – she slithered!

“Care to come help me, Commander?” she asked from the bedroom door, the low light creating an ethereal halo around her.

“Uh… what?” he managed to say.

“I asked… if you wanted to help me.” She looked at him with glazed but fiery eyes. “After all these years, do I have to make that an order, mister?”

Which went into shock first – his body or his mind? Probably both, at the same time. Somehow or another, he managed to walk the few meters to the door where she stood. He couldn’t remember whether she reached for him first or whether he pulled her into his embrace. Either way, no more words were spoken.

Before he knew it, she had waltzed him back towards the bed. The frame hit the back of his knees and he collapsed into a seated position on the bed, his face suddenly enveloped by the silk-covered warm flesh of her breasts, his senses filled with her primal scent. She pulled away slightly, and he wanted her – all of her – back again.

Her hands, hands he had seen dance with so much skill and precision over monitors and panels and instruments, now worked with the same exactitude in extricating his vest and shirt. She had them halfway off his body before he knew it and he was afraid that she could see how fast his heart was beating.

He knew that she expected him to do likewise, but he felt immobilized. His hands could have been stumps for all the ability he felt he had in taking off her silken top. The material kept slipping through his fingers; he couldn’t grasp the small buttons at the top of her neck in the back. Finally, by some small miracle, the buttons slipped out and he pulled the top over her head.

By now, the perspiration had started. He felt a trickle behind his left ear as he came face to face with the undergarment that was now revealed. The band of soft material wrapped itself around her, cradling her breasts with its support. He knew that had to be a clasp somewhere that held it in place. Again, his bear-paws-for-hands clumsily inched themselves around her. In the diminished light, he knew that he would have to rely on touch to tell him when he reached is goal. His eyes began to focus and he saw it – ah, yes! Mercifully, the closure was in front; he wouldn’t have to grapple too long. A more talented man could do this with one hand – Tom Paris would have had both the shirt and bra off in one liquid movement!

Kathryn leaned backwards, her neck stretched into a porcelain pillar, her eyes closed. She sighed as she felt his hands graze her skin; she took in a quick breath as she felt the constraining material fall free and his large hands replacing the cupping material for support.

“Kathryn,” he managed to squeak out.

She backed away, pulling the flesh from his hands, replacing his with her own. The lustrous mounds gleamed like twin offerings in front of his eyes. He felt his body respond with a sudden heat and pressure; this was not going to be easy.

She leaned forward, kissing him deeply, her tongue running lazy hot circles around his mouth. As she pulled away, the erect nipple of her right breast brushed across his lips. “Ah!” he moaned.

She took a step back, leaning forward to place her hand over the growing shape of his tumescence. “I’ll be right back. Why don’t you finish getting… um… ready?” She smiled at him as she walked into the bathroom area, blowing him a kiss as she closed the door.

He sat on the edge of the bed and somehow or another managed to get his boots and socks off. He stood up, his legs quaking. He fumbled with his belt and the closure panel of his trousers, loosening but not removing them. And now, in just a couple more minutes, he was going to have to face her – and tell her the truth. After all these years, it would surely come as a great shock to her.

Ah… she was opening the door; she was coming out. And now… there she was, slender and perfect and beautiful, her auburn hair loose and flowing over her bare shoulders, her delicate torso barely covered by a pale ivory towel seductively draped and wrapped around her.

“Chakotay,” she whispered huskily, walking over to him. Her eyes silently asked him why he wasn’t waiting for her in the large bed.

“We’ve got to talk,” he finally said.

She hurried over to him gathering his large hands between her two smaller ones, worry now pouring out from her every pore. “Why? Whatever is the problem?” She led him to the edge of the bed and they sat down.

He took a deep sigh before continuing, his eyes flooding with tears that he dared not shed. His lower lip began to tremble. Finally, he looked deeply into her eyes and began to reveal his deepest of secrets. “Kathryn, I… I’ve never done this before.”

She looked at him, aghast. “You mean… you mean… you’re a virgin? Chakotay, how can this be? After all the women you have known and been with!”

“It’s true,” he continued falteringly.

She shook her head, incredulous that this forty-six year old man, who had seemed to have had his way with half the women in the galaxy, had never before… fucked! “But how…?” she voiced again.

His shoulders slumped as her began his story.

“It’s like this. In my tribe, a young man abstained from sexual encounters until his parents deemed him ready. I wanted to obey these rules, so I remained celibate all the while I was on Dorvan V. Then, while I was at the Academy, I was just so busy trying to keep up with my studies, and then Boothby never allowed any of ‘his boys’ to sully around – we were to keep all our strength for our boxing matches.”

He paused. “Then I joined the Maquis. I quickly assumed a high rank, and, much like in Starfleet, it was frowned upon to have the leaders… um… ‘fraternize’ with others in the Maquis, even within our own cells.”

“But… but… what about Seska? B’Elanna?”

He waved a shaky hand at her and shook his head. “Nope, never did it with them. Oh sure, there were a few stolen kisses, embraces… but we never ‘did the deed’.” He looked up at her. “As for Seska, remember, in order to get my DNA, she had to resort to an artificial means.”

Kathryn nodded her affirmation, and then looked at him coldly. “Ah… but then there was Riley Frazier!”

Chakotay sadly shook his head. “She played it all inside my head, Kathryn; it was all mental. She never laid a finger on me, and I certainly never became physically intimate with her.”

“Okay, okay. But then… there was Seven. You can’t tell me that there wasn’t anything physical there…”

“Kathryn,” he cried out plaintively. “For heaven’s sake – that was all a holodeck program! That wasn’t me at all – you know that!” “Are you sure?” she responded, her eyes piercing into his dark ones.

“Cross my heart and hope to get swallowed by a black hole – yes, it was all programmed! I’ve never so much as laid a finger on her.” He shivered, just at the thought. “Never, in my wildest dreams…”

“All right,” Kathryn said. “So that brings us to now.”

“Yes, it does,” he nodded sadly. “I… I’m afraid!”

She balled her hand into a dainty fist and jabbed him in the shoulder. “Come on, Commander, buck up! I’ve never known you to back away from something before.”

“I guess you’re right,” he sighed, looking over at her, drinking in the peaches and cream vision in front of him. “And I know that if I begin to uh… falter… or something, that you’ll be right there.”

Kathryn stood up, pulling the towel more snugly around her body. She glanced away from him momentarily then turned and looked at him, her eyes glistening and serious. “There’s just one thing…”

“Yes?” he answered, standing and brushing the wisps of hair back from her face. She cleared her throat then began, barely audible. “You see, Chakotay – I’m a virgin, too!”

He could not have been more shocked than if he heard this from Tom Paris! “You’re… you’re what? But, but… there was Justin… Mark… and Jaffin…”

Kathryn shook her head. “It was always something in the future,” she said sadly. “I, like you, for most of my early years and while I was at the Academy, always had my studies come first. Why – I even turned down a date with the infamous Wil Riker while I was there; did you know that?” He shook his head, eyes wide with amazement.

She continued her sad tale. “With Justin, we were going to celebrate when we got back from our mission on the Terra Nova to Tau Ceti.” Her eyes clouded over with the memory of that disastrous mission. “Then… with Mark, we were going to finally give our selves to each other when I returned from my mission to capture you.” Her voice filled with a mixture of fatalism and flirtation. She paused before continuing. “And Jaffin… well, I’m sure that it would have come very soon – if you had not ‘rescued’ all of us.”

She looked at him and they both began laughing. “Well, if we aren’t a pair!” he finally managed to say.

“I guess we’ll just have to ‘teach’ each other,” she smiled, pulling him back to the bed and beginning to undress him the rest of the way.

He loosened the tucked-in part of the towel that encircled her and it fell to her feet just as she slid the rest of his clothing off of him. Their hands began to explore, tentative and curious. Their mouths found each other and their bodies suddenly became automatic, molding and meshing to one another, searching nooks and crannies that were meant to meet and match.

They lowered themselves onto the waiting bed and looked at each other with wonder and delight. They sighed and words came from each of them, a song sung in unison:

“You will be gentle, won’t you?”

And thus began the end of innocence.

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