The "whoosh" of the closing doors of her ready room briefly swept away the cobwebs entangling his mind. Their momentary motion caused a sobering vortex of cool motion in the air in the room, a room suddenly warmed by two radiating bodies, now inches apart.

"Kathryn..." he whispered as their arms found each other... arms that now felt empty and bereft without their bodies anchoring each other... bodies and souls that had been adrift in the turbulent tossings of the sea of their relationship. If bodies were their anchors, then their mouths were the dockings on the moor, preventing their drifting away from safe harbor.

After moments of reveling in the sweetness of each other’s nearness, the lovers pulled away, breathing in short, desperate gulps, the depths of their eyes holding them together ... eyes which revealed the naked desire long buried within them.

He stood there, his gaze burrowing into her... peeling back layer and layer of concealing covering... seeing a new softness and vulnerability with each new level. His smile came slowly... she was always beautiful to him, but never to the degree he saw now. The chilling brilliance of was blazing and inviting : a summer sunrise... an October moon... the sands of the Great Desert on Dorvan V. And she was inviting him... only him... to this holy of holies that she had veiled off even from herself.

Her face burned his hands with her fierce inner fire... fire he knew was there that time when their fingertips touched on New Earth... fire that had heated only to be snuffed out, leaving her as just another body; fire that leapt from her fingertips to his... fire from which the Ancient Warrior had saved a spark deep within himself, hoping to someday be allowed to fan the embers alive once more... fire that last night had sprung to life again, gently fed with the tinder of tender kisses, growling slowly to the raging flames that refused to die down, and even now... begging for ignition again... each of them aching for the sanctifying heat.

*Slowly... slowly...* he told himself. *This time, it is too precious to be hurried.*

Her eyes closed, her breathing slowed, as she lost herself in the comfort and care that his arms conveyed. So long... so long since he first wanted to touch her... to feel the softness of her face... to delight in the feathered freckles on her cheeks... to experience the surge of the flow of blood through her. Her face... elegant and fragile under the bulk of his coarse hand... cheekbones with the sharp, delicate curves of a porcelain figurine... withstanding the extreme heat of command, but fragile enough to fracture with a wrong touch. He raised his thumb to her cheek, to dare to touch this holy ground... this treasure that was his Kathryn... this woman for whom he knew he was meant.

She startled with the unexpected touch, her eyes flitting open, her mouth startled into a tiny "O’ of wonderment. She sank into his caress... one which he wanted to keep gentle... knowing that that anything else in contrast to the softness of her face was crude. unrefined... clumsy. Her face softened with his touch, becoming radiant and glowing with his gentle strokes. Reaching up, she took his thumb and lowered it to her lips... seemingly thin and drawn, but yet sumptuous and full with love and life... sweet lips now opening and drawing his massive thumb into the lushness of her mouth... sensations segueing into vivid memories of his fullness swallowed by her softness... an invitation back to the sensual dance of their bodies in the semi-darkness of last night.

He heard himself, but wondered at the animalistic groan that was the sound. *No... I don’t want us to become so base as to just give in to our desires,* he thought... yet every nerve ending in his body was raw with just that. He wanted to toss off all responsibility... forget that they were only a few meters away from a dozen people, all pursuing the orders which he and she had given them... duty which now called *him*, just as it had her for so long... duty that they could not... should not ignore. But the drug of their desire was coursing through his veins as strongly as it was hers... the only people that even existed in the entire galaxy were within the walls of this room.

Was she really starting to take off his jacket?... he had just realized that hers was already off when he got into the room. Slowly she rolled the thick fabric off of his shoulders, rolling it smoothly down his arms... tugging at the anxious resistance of his bulky hands. The heavy cloth was suddenly stifling him... preventing him from responding to her. He. grabbed the offending material... brusquely jerking it off... the friction of his impatient move burning his flesh... flesh only she could cool. Her hands were now raking through his thick hair, displacing the strands... delighting in its rich thickness... luxuriating in the fullness of its texture... pleasuring in the control she had over him... using it to bring him to her.

His lips seeking the small area just to the back of her shoulder... the spot that he knew would fill her with chills that clashed with her heat... chills that brought an uncontrolled weakness to her. Her sighs signaling to him that he had succeeded in his goal; he felt her legs lose some balance. He quickly offset her shakiness by moving a hand to brace her... firmly supporting her by a hold in the small of her back. His lips trailed to her ear... stopping to nibble the tender flesh of her lobe before murmuring into her ear. Once more... he was sinking into the softness that was Kathryn... all that she was and would be. Every touch, every smile, every laugh... spinning around him... exhilarating him. The colors... the sparks... the light... all were Kathryn... his Kathryn! It had always been her; no other faces or bodies or beings had ever been with him before. Even before he knew her, it was her... the promise of her calling to him... beguiling him... enthralling him. Burnished glimmers of gold in her hair... seductive smiles... graceful fingers... laughing eyes... had been there, all along. And he knew that one day he would discover the key to her heart.

*Kathryn... my Kathryn... I have always been here for you; you only had to reach out. What has caused you to only now realize this inevitability?*

Lips seeking lips... gestures long forbidden... still forbidden but unheeded... need and desire obliterating all else: duty, pledges, rules... all flung into the incidental footnotes of their lives. Motions merging into destinies... theirs and all with whom they honored and lived and loved... sexual but spiritual... sensual but ethereal... for they had been.. and were now... and would be forever. Emotions extinguished by the flesh now ignited by flesh... desire subjugated by resolution now surfacing by love.

*I thank the spirits for whatever brought you to this point*, words whispering prayerfully in thanksgiving through the tangled twining of his thoughts... thoughts that were only of how he could show her that his love had been from before they existed... predestined by whatever divine power ruled the universe... bringing them to this precipice of their eternities.

Even as their mouths and hands and flesh pledged this infinite bond to each other, his mind searched for the reasons... how... why... now. Sins and lovers and trysts from the past were nothing... he knew now that he had always been searching... testing... hunting... for her... only her. The now was what had always been and always would be... the sweet passion of last night... flooding him once more. Soft and loving... grasping and passionate... consoling and fulfilling... filling and throbbing... his dreams and fantasies thrown to distant galaxies by the reality that was Kathryn.

Anticipation and imagination of what it could be like diminished in reality... sensations so magnificent, so overwhelming. A lifetime of preparation, culminated in perfect ecstasy... their bodies eager and expecting each other... their bodies meant for each other. Willing and accepting, she embraced him as he offered his gift of love to her; demanding and possessing, she drew him further into her. Together they became lost in the newness that was them. More... he wanted to give her more... he could never give her enough. For every measure she received, she gave back... woman to man; man to woman... lover and beloved... reaching for the unattainable... until in one explosive moment... they became all that could ever be... the ultimate primal experience of being a man and a woman.

Silence... stillness... and then a rebirth of the forbidden passion... their lives changed forever.

Had she dreamt of him all these years as he had of her? Were her nights endless with thoughts of what might have been of those few weeks on New Earth? Did her heart and body ache with unfulfilled desire? Many times he had thought he heard strangled sobs of denied fulfillment coming from her quarters... yet knowing that the areas were soundproofed well and that it was only his hopes and dreams of similar agonies from within her. Memories of long voids of the soul... remembrances of hurtful words... hateful words... words meant to deny the deeper desires that seared their very beings. Love forbidden, therefore buried by opposite reactions.

Had she felt what he had felt last night... a beginning and an ending... fulfillment of an eternal dream... joy with the celebration of their togetherness... sorrow at the loss of expectancy. The gift she gave him would be his forever; was his small offering enough for her? Kathryn... Kathryn... her name was now a mantra for his salvation. Thoughts of her... made strong from his inner being... filling him with peace. Memories of her now and before and yet to come.

Oh, Kathryn -- your passion betrays you... your vehemence always vanquishing your love. When did you realize what truly burned within you? When did you sense that longing for completion... that neither of us could live fully as a whole being without the other? I have been here all along... by your side... loving you... needing you... completing you. Now that you have stepped outside of the constrictions of those parameters you circumscribed for us... will you... can you... ever go back? Regret... repent... contrition... so often the offspring of consummations such as ours... do you feel any of these? Or are your heart and soul soaring with the spirits of the universe?

Ah... but do I really need you to answer that? You... here in my arms, my life... my love! You... drinking of my very being just as I thirst for yours. You... soft and tender... eager and willing... you... new and young and lovely --- all that I could ever want or ever need. Never again will we ache with the emptiness that existed within us... waiting for this very time... this very moment... when the puzzle would be completed.... consummation of our spirits as well as our flesh... sealing us for all eternity. Our bodies are mortal means of expressing this deepest commitment... this covenant of souls. The heat and passion of our physical beings serves only to refine and forge the final state of our being... a heat that has needed the fuel of these years... allowed to grow gradually, so as not to destroy the final product... a heat that even now calls us to cast and shape the molten alloy of our beings.

Do you feel it, Kathryn? Can you sense that we are not our own in this... that what we are becoming is for a greater purpose? Ah, my dear and wonderful Kathryn... even on that fateful day so many years ago, a strange stirring within me when I first saw you haunted me with unimaginable secrets and promises... all gradually unfolding into the fullness of now. Did you feel that, too? Have you been so frightened by being consumed by such power... of loss of control?

As if in answer to all of his unspoken questions, her arms and hands entwined him... her small body leaned into him... as if she wanted nothing more than to become a single entity with him... completing that action that had begun so many years ago as their fates were thrown together. The fiery fervor emanating from her eyes, piercing him to unknown, unfathomed depths... snaring him and pulling him into her once again. And he allowed himself to be captivated by her, although she did not know that that she had already done so... long ago, in a distant part of the Delta Quadrant... no, that she had entranced him long before that... even before they ever were.

He knew that she knew that what they were doing now, even now, was forbidden. Here... in the room where they had had so many past conversations... discussions... tirades about what should or shouldn’t be done in the line of duty... about relationships that were or had been... about the right and wrong.. about rules that should not be broken. Here... in this very room... some of the most cruel words of their relationship had been uttered... words that created bitter schisms, separating them for weeks... strong, stinging words from two passionate people who did not yet perceive the source of that passion.

Ah, but she knew now... no longer could she hold it off, nor did it seem she wanted to! A wicked smile evolved on his face as her hands, now stretched around him, sought the firm roundness of his buttocks... this woman whose unleashed desire had taken control of her... of them. This woman whom he knew, once ignited, would try to consume both of them... who, even now, had only to say the word and he would face all of the demons of the universe to preserve her and love her... Kathryn... his Kathryn!

They were moving but not moving, unknown music providing the rhythm for their dance... bodies moving in tandem motion, their feet never seeming to lift from the floor. As they glided along their path, their hands found countless chores to perform, each one providing a new discovery... struggling and tugging with suffocating garments... hands hungry for the feel of warm flesh... waiting flesh... wanting flesh... flesh wanting flesh. Aching necessity... demanding desire... pressing them onward by the wild beast unleashed within each of them... needing to be tamed but resisting control... once caged, now released; once subjugated, now restored. Pouncing... grasping... devouring... unable to stop what had been started... knowing that their freedom from responsibilities would be brief. Putting years into moments... months into seconds... never enough... never again enough!

*No... we shouldn’t... we shouldn’t,* he thought, hearing all of her unspoken vows of the past. *Not here, not now...* yet he was all too willing to have her lead him in the forbidden actions. Smiling again... knowing that she was the captain... that she knew best... after all, that’s what she had told him in so many ways so many times. A trail of jackets and jerseys followed them, remaining garments struggling to follow their demise.

A cacophony of chaos and discord... the clangor of the klaxon calling them back to reality and responsibility. Hands that only seconds ago were full of heated hunger now becoming coldly methodical, precise... orderly... reassembling the professional semblances of the captain and first officer of Voyager.

The last remnants of their intoxication disappeared, sobriety returning as the doors opened onto the bridge being bathed in the alternating dimness and red glow summoned by Tuvok’s staccato order: "Red alert!"

"Report," Janeway orders, suddenly grateful for the abrupt urgency... thankful that there would be no time for inquisitive stares or comments.

Tuvok gives his brief report, even as he glides away from the command console, bequeathing command to the two senior officers... two people now functioning... living... moving as one... reading each other’s mind and motions... breathing and existing with each other’s spirit and being.

"Hostile?" Chakotay asks of Tuvok, not waiting for her... knowing that they are now a single entity. Their eyes meet in a transitory glance, acknowledging that their bonding is complete: physical and emotional and mental... and that they -- and Voyager -- will be all the better for it.

"On screen," she orders, knowing that whatever awaits them this time... that neither of them will ever be alone again.

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