This one is the product of being overtired at 3 in the morning and trying to write something semi-serious. It's sort of a dialogue bt. Faith and Buffy in Season 3 when Faith is trying to pull Buffy into the dark side of the force, and Buffy's trying to pull Faith back the other way.
Born to Slay- to the tune of Springstein's Born to Run
Faith: In the day you sweat it out in the classes of an American High School At night we own the world in our glory, no one telling us what to do Sprung from the prison of rules that bind, clad, "want, take, have" There's nobody like our kind Oh! Buffy this town rips the flesh from your back Let's bite back, we won't take any crap Why bother to work when we can play? 'Cuz chicks like us, baby we were born to slay.
Buffy: Faith, let me in, I wanna be your friend I wanna pull you back from the edge Just let go of the hate and the pain Before one of ends up dead Together we could save this world We'll be the chosen 2, just you and me girl Will you fight with me, renounce the Mayor? 'Cuz Faith I'm just a scared and lonely slayer But part of me wants to know how it feels I want to know if the true me is wild Girl, I want to know if the dark is real
Beyond the Hellmouth there's a world out there just waiting to be ours We can let down our hair and revel in the feel of our supernatural powers But we don't choose who should live or die That's not what we fight for I wanna slay with you Faith on the streets tonight In this vast eternal war
Faith: My life's been jammed with broken dreams, I have no hope left inside Here in the dark I can escape the hurt, no better place for me to hide Together Buffy we'll live with the darkness Rule the world with all the starkness of our souls Someday girl, I don't know when We're gonna get to that place where no one tells us "no." We'll die just for the thrill But till then, chicks like us, baby we were born to kill.
525,600 Bodies
525,000 moments of fear
525,600 Bodies
How do you measure, measure a year?
In vampires, in demons
In monsters, in wonky Willow spells
In werewolves, in trolls
In hellgods, in creeps
In 525,600 bodies
How do you measure, our life expectancy?
Measure in graves
Measure in graves
Measure in graves
Measure in graves
Neat rows of
Graves
525,600 bodies
525,000 funerals to plan
525,600 bodies
How do you measure the death of a woman or a man?
In bodies with no hearts
In pyres and coffins
In fang marks, even tumors
In eviscerations!
It's time now to fight back
Though the killing never ends
Let's commemorate, remember a year with so many deaths!
Remember the graves
Remember the graves
Remember the graves
Measure in graves
Neat rows of
Graves
Last night, I had a dream
I found myself on a Hellmouth called...SUNnydale
It was hot! But I was wearing a scarf indoors
For no reason
Out of the abyss walked a slayer
Buffy
She said- "Everything you do de-pends on the full moon"
"Whatever you thought was real now
Like school, and parents, and....a normal lovelife
Has been replaced with demons and ghouls and (stake)
A fantastical life (life life life)
And there isn't a way out
(No leap of faith, leap of faith)
Everything you do depends on the full moon"
I gotta get out of here!
I'm sick of being stuck to the ties of a demonfighting life
Getting attacked by hyena people and robots!
Pushed under a shelf by a homicidal ugly vamp!
I-I-I-I-I-I (epileptic head rolls) gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta stop
bobbing my head like Tara!
And await the full moon
Because then, a little werewolf entered. His name I have learned was Daniel. Although we always called him Oz because he doesn't look like a Daniel.
"Oh Will," he said. "Ever since Veruca showed up in town I've been...horny. We got locked in my cage and we boffed, I've had trouble with my animal side ever since, maybe it's a WEREWOLF thing. But I loved you anyway, though I made you sad. You and Xander for instance you had illicit smoochies last year, but I said "'I forgive you my Willow, come back to Ozzy!'" (bitty bom!)
"The only way out is OUT," Tara whispered to me. "Out o-o-o-o-o-f! The clo-set."
"Still sweating?" Parched (parched parched) And I lowered my hands to my neck and tore off that damn scarf because it was summer and I looked ridiculous.
"Climb on board!" Tara said. And as another full moon rose over Sunnydale, we donned our maxi skirts of witchiness, we headed back to our dorm for chemistry-less snuggles, because I'm GAY I tell you, GAY GAY GAY!
I awoke singing.
(No leap of faith, leap of faith)
Oz is only wolfy the nights of the full moon
Wicca groups and they're menstrual life force power thingies
Tied to the cycle of the Moon
Everything we do depends on the full moon
Yell with me!
Gay! I'm gay! Gay! Gay! GAAAAAAY!
Thank you!
How did I get here?
How the hell? My snark left
And no one will let me shampoo my hair
How did I get here?
How the hell?
College! Season 4, last year
I thought when I got a life, I'd get my funny back
I thought the writers would cut me some slack
Now all my dialogue's left on the cutting room floor of mediocrity
While great one-liners of episodes past
Forever flicker in close-up
On the screens of fans with DVD's.
(Joss: That's poetic. Fans: That's pathetic!)
When did Spike become comic relief
And Anya get all the good lines?
Why won't somebody just cut my hair?
Why did Angel and Cordy leave town?
Why am I the victim, and when the writers have their fill
Will I be even more bland
Or just get killed?
>
>There once was a witch named Tara
>Who made Mich want to pull our her hair-a
>She began to sob
>When she saw the "head bob"
>And prayed for a demon to snare-her
>
>Poor Riley had so few fans
>He thought himself less than a man
>He became food for the vamps
>And consorted with tramps
> But his delivery was still too deadpan
>
> There once was a sister named Dawn
>For Glory she's some kind of pawn
>How could this be-
>Both a portal and a key?
>Has Joss got his head screwed on wrong?
>
>(Voldechick is my nickname for Glory bec. she didn't have a name for like 3
>episodes, and she kinda reminds me of Voldemort bec. she used to be
>non-corporeal, she was called "That which cannot be named" and she talks to
>snakes.)
>
>Voldechick's not so scary
>Intern
Ben's head is too hairy
>We need a big-bad
>Someone sexy- a cad!
>Or we'll all committ hari-kari
>Spike thinks of Buff when he's shagging
>He puts up with Harmony's nagging
>The chip in his brain
>Keeps the poor guy restrained
>But he sure keeps the viewers' tails wagging!
>
>Darla made Angel who did Dru (In more ways than one)
>Dru made Spike and then Darla too
>The family is messed
>With this crazy incest
>So they'll just have an orgy or two
>
>(Around Christmas time, everyone was writing parodies using carols, so I wrote this.)
>
>I had a little stake-y
>I made it out of wood
>And when I get it pointy
>I'll stake those vamps for good
>
>Oh! Stakey stakey stakey!
>I made it out of wood
>My best is Mr. Pointy
>To stake those vamps for good!
>
>(My attempt at Beat poetry)
>
>Drusilla
>Dressed in
>red, bloody and black
>skies alight with nameless stars
>in her eyes, they do the bidding
>Of the dark
>and deep mistress.
>Cutting, biting, drinking
>they come to her to dance
>with the ringing and the child
>who is the sire
>she won't eat the doublespeak.
>The beast of Angel
>filthy soul, he's a monster
>soon, he'll be pure
>and spank us till Tuesday.
>
>Rrruff!!
>
>BARK with me!
>
>So that's it. Hopefully with all my down time I'll write some that is
>actually good.
>
>-Michy (XMB)
>Angel: Lacks..poetry.
>Spike: Doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs?