The Fall of a Goddess
O! Swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, that monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, 109
Prologue: Ortygia
Saori held Seiya tightly between her arms, still incapable of believing that he had died, her saint... her hope... her love. Dead. For her.
'' Seiya... '', she whispered, unsuccessfully trying to clean the blood from his face, '' Seiya, come back to me... Seiya... please...''
The rest of the Saints watched her in silence, ignoring the tremor that had started to surround them. It seemed they hadn’t only defeated Hades, but also his realm, that now had started to fall apart, to turn into debris, as its king had been turned.
It seemed strange, that with the end of Evil turned into flesh, Hope also had to die. In the end, Life and Death always find a way to be ironic.
'' We must go '', said Hyoga, avoiding his brothers' eyes, '' There's nothing we can do for him now... It’s beyond our power ''
Yes, it was. Death and Life changed places and laughed at them, at their efforts. Did anyone care about their suffering, about their martyrdom? No, the Gods didn’t give a damn about that. All they cared about was having a great show to watch. Humankind was their personal T.V.; and they were usually the ones that decided what the show was going to be about.
'' I won't leave him, Cygnus '', snapped Saori, her mauve hair floating around her as the Cosmos of the Goddess inside her burnt, golden light surrounding her slender body.
'' He wouldn't have left me... he wouldn’t have left neither of us ''
Hyoga lowered his head. He wanted so bad to believe in Saori's words, to believe that there were still hopes, to believe in Athena’s powerful Cosmo... but he knew it was useless, deep inside of him he knew, he knew Seiya would remain there, in the land of the dead... forever. Gone. His friend. His brother. Their leader.
It wasn’t like it mattered. He could feel how his own body was dying, getting closer and closer to the brink of unconsciousness. He didn’t feel pain anymore, not even in his empty eye socket. Yes, death was nearer, nearer him, nearer his brothers, even nearer Athena, although he doubted death could take her. She was a Goddess, wasn’t she? Goddess... Mortals... Funny life... funny death...
It was for the best. They had shared their time, their lives. Now they could share their deaths. He would be with them, with his mother, with his master... no more pain, no more wars, no more... anything, just peace, just... that.
'' It's useless, Saori '', said Ikki, his deep voice taking the Saint of Ice out of his thoughts. '' Even your Cosmo has weakened, you don't have the strength that is needed to... ''
'' Shut up, Phoenix, or are you revealing against the Goddess Athena???!! '', she barked, surprised by the fury in her heart.
Ikki only smiled at her words. He knew that despite the anger in her words, it wasn't Athena the one that was speaking, but Saori, the stubborn young woman that a few minutes ago had admitted to love Pegasus. A girl. A child. A woman.
Ignoring the warmth of her Cosmo, he got nearer, grabbing her by her shoulders and forcing her to stand.
‘’ You are hurting me, let go!!! ‘’
'' We are leaving, Saori, your power can't do anything about it, you can’t do anything about it ''
She fought to free herself from Phoenix’ arms, finding new strength in frustration. But despite his hands burned, Ikki wouldn't release her. He, for the first time in his life, wanted to live. To live in Seiya’s name. To live for his friend.
His determination became contagious, and soon Shiryu and Hyoga were helping him to move the Goddess away from Seiya’s body, finding that they could control her between the three of them, they could make her –force her- to obey.
Poseidon had tried to control Hilda, and she went insane. Kanon had tried to control Poseidon, and he also lost his mind. Gods had our soul of their own, any wish to control them only ended in that, in insanity and pain.
'' I won't give up!!! '' she cried at last, her Cosmo turning into a hellfire, sending her saints against some marble columns, that collapsed under their weight.
Love. Love was just another name for madness. Love was what made Life worth it, what gave Death a sense. Love was the only thing that no one could predict. The one thing the Gods didn’t have power over. Love was an improvisation in the soup opera script. Love was a signal in the Gods T.V. going down. All they got was interference, a continuous buzz that left them with two options. Try to fix the antenna, or simply change the channel.
'' I just won’t ‘’ she went on between sobs, ‘’ Seiya, I need you... Seiya!!! ''
'' ... Seiya... ''
The eyes of the young woman opened in surprise when hearing another voice mixing with hers, a firm but gentle voice. Maybe this was it, the moment when her humanity would stop being able to held the Goddess’ power, and she would go insane. Or was she already? To hear voices... She had heard voices as long as she could remember. Her grandfather, Aioros, herself, Athena. Yes, maybe she was insane after all.
'' ... Seiya, Athena is calling, can't you hear her? She's risking her life for you, you don't want her to get mad at you, do you?... ''
This time she was sure, something or someone was helping her save Seiya, she could feel it, a pale Cosmo mixing with hers, making it stronger. Nevertheless, it seemed that she was the only one capable of noticing it. Shun, the only saint that remained conscious just watched her with his sorrowed, hopeless eyes.
Hopeless. Yes, that’s what she had thought she felt. Completely hopeless against destiny now that her Hope had died. But that voice was telling her otherwise. Insane or not, it was telling her to fight. It was telling her that they still had a chance. It was giving her Hope back.
But something she never thought would be able to feel again made her forget about Andromeda' s worries, the strange Cosmo and her probable insanity. It was a warm feeling she knew well, full of selflessness and goodness. It was a feeling that made her laugh, that made her smile, that gave meaning to all that she was, all that she believed in.
'' Seiya, come back to me '', she muttered, her Cosmo burning to an extent she hadn't believed possible, its golden light spreading over the place as if they were inside the sun, and she was its heart.
'' ... Seiya!!!... '' cried the voice for the last time, its strange Cosmo blending with Athena’s. ‘’ ...Seiya, live... ‘’
‘’ Live ‘’
...
It’s funny, how we are raised to rely only on ourselves. We are taught the hard way that people hurts, makes us hurt. And still... still deep down inside us, we know, we are certain, that the only way to be happy, the only way to survive, is by trusting in others. To live for that moment, when those we care about mutter ‘I TRUST YOU, WILL YOU TRUST ME?’. All we have to hope is that we’ll be brave enough, courageous enough, as to answer ‘yes’.
Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you’re never hurt
As if you’re never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then I will now
That you are no dreamer
- Eyes on me, Final Fantasy VIII -
...
Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...
'' ... ''
'' ...Come on, little one, they are all expecting you, you shouldn't keep sleeping, what will your saints think about that... ''
A light shone in front of Saori, a pale white light, although incredibly powerful. Nevertheless, it didn't scare her. She had already felt it.
'' You’ve ... helped me... ''
A pure and sweet laughter came from the light, surrounding her with a feeling of warmth.
'' ... I just guided you, Saori Kido, all that happened is due to your Cosmo, to your own power. To your love and soul. All I did was show you the way... ‘’
'' That means... '' she started saying, refusing to believe that she could still have hopes. That there was still a chance for Seiya... for Seiya to be '' he is alive? ''
Once again the laughter echoed in her ears. She didn’t know whether to feel irritated or smile herself.
'' ...Why don't you try to find it out by yourself? I think that four months of rest are enough, don't you think... ''
Saori nodded in her sleep, watching how the light surrounded her, cradling her with its heat, with its loving embrace, as it clouded her mind slowly...
'' Wait... who are you... ''
'' ...Look through your window, Saori Kido... Athena... I’ll be there, smiling at you... ''
Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...
'' ...Who are you...'', she heard herself saying, trying to get used to the light that blinded her.
'' Don't you recognise me, my Lady? It's me, Tatsumi! Oh, you can't imagine how glad I'm to see you wake up, we were starting to fear that you'd never do! ''
Her head started to spin as she sat on the bed. The world started to make sense as her eyes were able to see once again. For the serum running to her arm and the immaculate white of the room, she realised she was in a hospital. A private room with a view of the city. It was funny how money made her get the best. She could have been a serial killer and still, as long as she could pay for it, she would be treated as the Pope.
A bald man with shadows under his sunken eyes and wrinkles both of age and worry covering his forehead was sitting on a chair next to her. By the look on his face he hadn’t slept in a long time. Had he stayed by her side all this time, waiting, hoping, praying for her? Did he care for her that much?
Out of a sudden, she remembered all that had happened, the battle against Hades, the blood, the pain, the suffering, the Cosmo surrounding her... and Seiya!
'' Tatsumi, where is Seiya? Has he...''
'' Is that worry that I hear in your voice, Saori? '' said a shadow at her left, cloaked by the darkness of the window.
'' ...Seiya? '', she mumbled, unable to believe it. ‘Why don't you try to find it out by yourself?’, had said the voice. But could she trust it? Could she allow herself to trust? Her heart thought she could, and for once, her mind decided to act likewise.
Slowly, the boy came out of his hiding, kneeling at the side of his Goddess. Tentative, he held her hands between his, wishing as much as she did that they still could hope, that still they had a chance to live, to be happy. Despite his cocky smile, tears shone in his red-brown eyes, revealing the joy his heart was shielding. She was alive. They were alive. The eternal dance of live and death had given them another song to dance at. A new chapter for their lives.
Saori stretch his hand towards him, touching the bandage that surrounded his head lightly. It made his brunette hair look scruffier than usual. Not that it really mattered. He was alive, that was all she cared about. Alive. Beautiful, beautiful life.
'' Saori, what's the matter? '' he asked, worried about her silence. He would have rather heard her screaming and shouting at him for being such an irresponsible brat than seeing her like that, completely silent, mute. He wanted to hear her voice, to see her smile. To see her living.
Incapable of restraining herself any longer she threw herself into the haven of his arms, crying so hard that it hurt.
'' I thought... I.... Oh, Seiya! '' she said, before resting her head on his chest, enjoying the feeling of his heart beating against hers once again, of the warmth of his arms on her back, holding her gently, filling her with Hope. Yes, she hoped again. She dreamed again. Her Saint of Hope was alive. She was alive. Life had smiled on them as it waltzed with Death.
'' Saori... '' he whispered in her ear, his feeling so much alike hers. '' I'm so glad you are ok, I couldn't have forgiven myself if something... if something happened to you '' Yes, to hell and back, no matter what. He was always going to be with her, no matter what.
His tears slid on her shoulder, brushing away every thought about the battle, about the wars she had seen, about his lifeless body resting limply in her arms.
‘ Trust me’, he had told her once. And they had survived falling from a cliff. ‘Trust me’, he had said, and she was saved from drowning, from extinguishing her Cosmo. ‘Trust IN me’, and he had returned, returned by her side, as he had promised. Forever.
Out of a sudden, Shiryu, Hyoga, Shun and Ikki entered the room, led by Tatsumi, who was already shouting at them about not disturbing the Lady.
For what she cared for, the Lady could go and burn herself in Hell. She was Saori Kido, Athena, no better and probably much worse than these young men, whom she felt proud of being able to call FRIENDS. Her friends.
She slowly released herself from Seiya’s embrace, sitting comfortably against her pillow once again. He sat by her, still holding one of her hands, which still trembled by the joy of seeing them all safe and living.
‘’ My Saints! You are all fine... you are all alive... ‘’ she whispered, before breaking into tears. They were all there, smiling when seeing her awake, back in their world. Tears ran on Shun’s cheeks, and even Ikki, proud, distant Ikki, wasn’t afraid of showing his happiness. Yes, they were all safe and alive. They had been through hell, and survived it. And all that it mattered was that they were still together. Athena’s Hope. Saori’s friends.
'' More than just us, Saori, ‘’ said a teary Seiya bringing back her attention to him, ‘’ The Gold Saints have awaken once more. Saga, Camus, all of them. Heck, even Aphrodite! You didn’t just heal us, but brought them back, all of them... you brought us back... ‘’
Saori smiled through her veil of tears and kissed Seiya on the forehead. He looked back at her, surprised, but then smiled once again. Yes, a brighter future lay before them, a world to live, to know. Hope.
A new life with no more clouds to darken it. A world with everlasting sunshine, where the night would never fall.
‘’ Saori... ‘’ muttered a tentative Hyoga, interrupting their thoughts. Ever since they had returned to Japan, he had been waiting, wishing for Saori to awake from her sleep, waiting to ask her one question, to unveil a doubt that was eating him from the inside. But now that the moment had arrived, that their Goddess was back between them, he couldn’t make himself say those words, not even pronounce them.
‘’ Hyoga ‘’ she said with a smile, ‘’ I was harsh to you, wasn’t I? To you all ‘’ she went on, looking at Ikki and Shiryu. ‘’ I can’t believe I did that, I hurt you... I just hope you’ll be able to forgive me one day... ‘’
‘’ Don’t worry, Saori, is all forgotten. We were wrong in not trusting you ‘’ said a strangely looking Ikki (now that he smiled, that is).
Trust her. Yes, she trusted them, it was the moment to show them they could trust her too. Once again that little word showed her the way. The meaning of life. Trust.
‘’ You shouldn’t ask for forgiveness, feelings are something you should never be sorry about ‘’ said Shiryu, lowering his head. Yes, things were changing, even he. He had found out how hard he wanted to live, to enjoy life. Athena had given him that chance back. A chance to live life, not to take it away. A world with no more wars, no more tears. No more sufferings.
Hyoga glanced at his friend when hearing him say that. Feelings. Yes, they were there, somewhere inside of him, but he couldn’t find them anymore.
Saori nodded to Shiryu and granted him a thankful smile. But still Hyoga hadn’t spoken his mind, she could see it, the doubt and worry, and yet, was unable to read the reason for it. It seemed that after all her Cygnus still was able to keep that pokerface of his.
Feeling he was being scrutinised, Hyoga mumbled something about forgiveness not being necessary and faked a smile. How could he tell her that he didn’t believe in her being their only saviour, when she had risked her life for them all? No, he couldn’t take that from her, from his friends. His doubts would remain, it wasn’t that he couldn’t live with them. Besides, deep inside his heart he knew the answer, he had known it all along. All he could do was try to forget all about it and enjoy the moment, share the happiness of his friends and pretend that everything was going to be better.
To ignore the fact that I had felt her, helping us once again, and I was too much of a coward as to ask Saori about it, about her Cosmo guiding hers. Guiding mine. I was too much of a coward as to face the possibility of seeing her again.
‘’ Well, now that everyone spoke his thoughts, you should get out of the room. Soon. The Lady has to rest... ‘’ said a beaming Tatsumi, showing Athena’s Saints... Saori’s friends... the way out (not to say pushing them out of the room with not even allowing them to look back)
They all decided it was best to play along the old man’s game, knowing how much he worried over Saori, how much he thought of her as the daughter, the family he never had. All of them but Seiya, who, as always, followed his own mind and took his time to stand up, ignoring the daggers Tatsumi’s eyes were throwing at him.
‘’ You’d better get some rest, Saori ‘’ he said, looking right into her eyes with that innocence that only he possessed, that innocence she loved, ‘’ You’d been unconscious for four months, and the doctors say that you are very weak ‘’
She just managed to smile shyly, feeling to overwhelm by the events that had just happened. For once in her life, ever since her grandfather’s death, she had been granted a completely happy moment.
It was then when she remembered. The window.
'' Wait... who are you... ''
'' ...Look through your window, Saori Kido... Athena... I’ll be there, smiling at you... ''
‘’ Seiya, wait, don’t go yet ‘’ she said, grabbing him by the wrist.
Seiya looked at her, surprised at first, but then he nodded, staying right by her side.
‘’ Tatsumi ‘’ said she, looking at the bulk of a man with her huge dark eyes, ‘’ Could you leave us alone for a moment? I promise I’ll go to sleep in a moment ‘’
Tatsumi frowned, a zillion more wrinkles drawing on his forehead. ‘’ But, my Lady, the doctor should be coming in a minute, I’ve already called for her ‘’
‘’ Don’t worry ‘’ she said with a smile, ‘’ Seiya will take care of me until she comes, won’t you? ‘’
Seiya nodded, still trying to figure out what she wanted. Take care of her. To hell and back. His place would always be by her side, no matter what.
Tatsumi finally relented. He, in a way, was just like Seiya, he would give his life just to see what he loved happy. And Saori he loved; the only family he had had, the daughter he had always hoped to have.
And still, he was no fool. He would never be a father to her, not even a confidant, a friend. He had learnt that a long time ago and just accepted it. He felt happy by just being what he was, her faithful servant. So he hid his overprotective feelings and just nodded, putting on his brown cashmere jacket and leaving the room, his face unable to hide his feelings, his fears of losing her. To hide the fact that the child he had taken care of, was now a woman, and needed him no more.
‘’ So... ‘’ muttered Seiya, a bit nervous about the fact of being completely alone with Saori. Even when she was unconscious, Tatsumi had always been in the room too. But now... now...
‘’ Turn off the light, will you? ‘’ said a determined Saori, pulling down the sheets and trying to stand up.
-The light-, thought Seiya, realising how his hands were trembling, -maybe it is disturbing her, yes, probably is just that, so much light must be hurting her eyes-
‘’ Thanks ‘’ she said, leaning against the wall. Standing up was dizzying her, it seemed that Seiya had been right about she been too weak.
‘’ Do you want me to see if the doctor is coming? ‘’ he asked, not knowing what else to do.
‘’ Seiya Kido, I won’t bite you, you know ‘, she teased, starting to walk towards the window. But her legs couldn’t support her, they were too weak, so she fell back on the bed, muttering silent curses.
‘’ You shouldn’t have stand up in the first place ‘’ said Seiya, forgetting his doubts and fears.
‘’ It’s just... I want to take a look outside, through the window ‘’ she whispered earnestly, tears starting to cover her eyes, frustrated by her weakness.
...
‘’ Don’t look at me with those eyes, boy! You should be grateful that you are living here, under the roof of the Kido! You should be happy that my grandfather took you out of that orphanage, if it wasn’t for my family, you would be rotting there! Now, ask for my forgiveness and get on your knees, I want to play horse... ‘’
‘’ So, my grandfather told you that if you brought Pegasus Cloth, he would tell you where your sister is? A shame, of course, your sister disappear right after you left for Greece. But let’s do this, a new deal. If you win the Galaxian Wars, I’ll tell you where she is. I don’t need to say that no matter what you choose Pegasus Cloth stays here. So, what do you say? It’s a deal...? ‘’
‘’ Are you defying me once again, Seiya? Do you really think a dog can find the Gold Cloth?... Ok, do as you please, but bear in mind that if you had stop Phoenix in the first place, I wouldn’t have to be worrying about all of this now ‘’
‘’ My grandfather was a great man, don’t you dare to say otherwise, ever! ‘’
‘’ I hate you ‘’
‘’ Do as you are told, boy! ‘’
‘’ Tatsumi, this boy is not following my orders, see that he is punished for his disobedience, his lack of respect towards those who feed him ‘’
‘’ You are worst than dogs, they at least obey their master, the one who gives them food and a place to sleep ‘’
‘’ You are now servants of the Kido family! ‘’
I said all those things, didn’t I? I was that girl, that brat who hurt them so much... who hurt him so much. And still, and still, he is right by my side, he’s always been... why, Seiya, why? Why are you kind to me? Why do you care? After all I did, after how I failed you...
...
‘’ It’s just... I want to take a look outside, through the window ‘’ she whispered earnestly, tears starting to cover her eyes, frustrated by her weakness.
‘’ Let me help you ‘’ he said, offering his hand to her. She thought it for a moment, but then took it, surprised by its warmth.
‘’ So, to the window, right madmuasel? ‘’, he said, placing one of her slender arms over his back and holding her by the waist.
She nodded, giggling at his bad French. Slowly, they walked towards the huge window. The busy streets of Tokyo greeted them, with the sound of cars and voices. Neon signs and TV antennas. A whole world in every window, in every building, in every face.
‘’ So, have you found what you were looking for? ‘’ asked Seiya, looking at a Greek Food Take Away and remembering that he hadn’t had his dinner yet.
Saori was about to answer ‘no’, when she looked up to the sky, a starry sea of blackness.
Seiya thought of asking again, but decided not to. The doctor would be there in no time, and he wanted to enjoy that moment. It wasn’t something that happened everyday to him, to be able to stay so close to Saori without her shouting at him or calling him pervert. He had to admit that it was nice. She was nice. And beautiful, even more now that the streetlights reflected in her eyes, in her milky white nightgown. Even more now that her delicate face was looking up to the sky, so distant, so near.
Saori smiled, and rest her head against Seiya’s chest. The voice had been right, up there, between the stars and passing clouds, the Moon was looking down at her. And yes, it was smiling.
...
‘’ So, as I was saying, Shingo ask me to go out with him, remember him? That heartthrob from Kamone High school? As you can imagine, I told... ‘’
‘’ Momoko-chan, look! ‘’
‘’ What do you want, Aiko? ‘’
The brown-haired girl turned around to look at the place where her friend was pointing. There, sitting on a bench and looking at the stars, was one of the most handsome men she had seen.
‘’ Isn’t he kawaii?* ‘’ sighed Aiko, looking at him over her shoulder. ‘’ And I’m sure I’ve seen him somewhere, what do you think? Maybe in some of the Uni parties we’ve been going lately... ‘’
Momoko shrugged, although she felt the same way, as she had seen him somewhere. ‘Probably in my dreams’, she thought, blushing slightly when seeing how the wind played with his blonde mane. Shingo didn’t seem such a heartthrob anymore...
‘’ He seems so lonely... ‘’ started Aiko. Momoko smiled. Her friend had always had a soft spot for the tortured loner type.
‘’ Forget about him, he is too busy looking at the stars. Besides, we are almost late, and I don’t want to miss the beginning of the movie ‘’
Aiko sighed and gave a final look to the young man. Yes, they should be going. Besides, he was probably waiting for his girlfriend, if not why would someone like him be sitting on the square at that time of the night?
‘’ Hai, just let me take a last peek at him... ‘’
‘’ Aiko-chan! ‘’ said Momoko, smiling at her friend’s attitude. Yes, Aiko had always been the more outspoken of the two.
‘So, you’ve helped me once again, nyet?‘ thought Hyoga, staring at the Moon ‘You were the one that gave Saori the power to bring Seiya back, the one that keeps guiding me... And still, you hide, you stay away from me... you coward, you don’t have enough with me having to live with you in my thoughts all the time, that now you come back to torture me?’
‘’ Boshemoi**, why do you have to be like that? ‘’ he muttered, running his fingers through his golden hair, ‘’ Dammit, now I even speak to myself, great... ‘’
‘’ "Ah shitsureshimasu... Daijyobun ka?*** ‘’
Hyoga looked at the girl in school uniform with a surprised look. Had he been so lost in his thought that he hadn’t realise she was there? Not only did she tortured him, but was now turning him reckless.
‘’Daijyobun yo..****.’’ he answered, wishing that would satisfied the girl and make her leave.
Aiko could feel her heart pounding and pounding, about to explode. She hadn’t expected him to have such gorgeous eyes and that husky voice. She was certain now, she was standing before her Prince Charming.
‘’ Mmh... I think your friend is getting impatient ‘’ he said, glancing at the girl leaning against a tree frowning so hard that she would probably end up having a headache.
‘’ My friend? ‘’ babbled Aiko, light headed and feeling just as if she could fly, ‘’ Oh, Momoko-chan! Don’t worry about her, she’s always in a bad mood ‘’
Bad mood. Like she used to be. A constant pain in the ass with a sarcastic smile printed on her face, he remembered.
‘’ I see... ‘’
Aiko looked over her shoulder to Momoko, who was pointing at her clock frantically. The movie. Prince Charming. Difficult choice.
‘’ So, are you from around here? ‘’
Always that same question. His looks told him off, he would never belong.
‘’ Nyet ‘’ he answered plainly, thinking about leaving himself if the girl kept talking. He was certainly not in the mood for dealing with girl’s crushes.
‘’ I see... ‘’ repeated Aiko. This was going nowhere and she knew it. This Prince Charming had turned in nothing but a fake. Too brooding, too proud. Not even his looks were so great from up close, they were too hard, too serious...
‘’ Well, I’d better be going, my friend is waiting. I’m glad to see you are ok ‘’
Hyoga nodded, slightly bowing his head. Girls. Women. He would never understand them.
‘’ Dewa***** ‘’ Aiko said, running to Momoko’s side.
‘’ Dasvidania******* ‘’ muttered Hyoga, looking at them as they faded away in the park.
He was certain they were talking about him. What would they be saying? That he was too silent, too rude? Or maybe something about his looks?
‘You egotistical, self-centred Russian, when are you going to see what’s in front of your eyes? Only fools keep their gaze in the past. Fools and those as melancholic as you are, that is ‘
How superficial they seem! Judging him, measuring him! Pretending to know him! He hated those attitudes, that in and out of love. He hated the way they used the word ‘love’ when they couldn’t even distinguish it from a simple and momentary crush. He hated their carefree ways, their smiles. He hated not being able to be so unworried as they were...
He hated himself.
He hated her.
He hated her for disappearing when he needed her most, for leaving him alone in a world that hated him and he hated back. For helping him from the shadows.
‘’ Hyoga-chan? ‘’
Hyoga looked over his shoulder. Seemed being alone was impossible that night.
‘’ Are you ok? ‘’
‘’ You are the second person that asks me that, tovarish******* ‘’ he answered with a grim smile. ‘’ Ok? Yes. No. Who knows? But what the hell, I think I deserve being unstable sometimes ‘’
‘’ Sometimes? ‘’ teased Shun, pushing some rebellious green locks away from his eyes. ‘’ Come on, the rest are waiting for us, Niisan said that he would let you drive if you stop wearing that depressed face ‘’
Hyoga couldn’t but chuckle by Ikki’s joke. At least he hadn’t threatened to use the Genma ken as a kind of medicine or something...
‘’ Hai, Hai. But if any of you even dares to tell me to slow down, I will freeze you like an ice cube ‘’
Shun laughed, his innocent face beaming with happiness. It made Hyoga feel happy too. It was strange, how he had been able to remain himself despite all that happened, despite Hades almost consume him. He was strong, Hyoga had to admit that.
‘’ So, what are we waiting for? We have the car keys, traffic-free roads and a glorious Moon to light our way! Let’s go!‘’
...
What’s easier? To forgive? To forget? To continue on living, pretending everything is fine, pretending everything is OK? To just lower our heads and play the part the Gods have given us, the part in the soup opera they want to see? To hide in a facade, a masquerade? To allow the carnival to go on and on, never revealing ourselves, always hiding, escaping? And then what? What will we do when we find out there is nowhere to escape, nowhere to fight? Will we stand or just lower our heads and continue on acting?
Maybe those answers are out there. Maybe they are inside us. Maybe they are nowhere to be found.
Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you’re holding back
Or pain if that’s what it is
How can I let you know
I’m more than dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you’re not dreaming
- Eyes on Me, Final Fantasy VIII –
SE FINNI....
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Saint Seiya is copyright of Masami Kurumada/SHUEISHA, Toei Animation CO., LTD, Shonen Jump. The rest of the characters and plot line are mine (Derrewyn Aensland/Varda/Paula Andrade -so many names for just one person ^-^) If you have any comments, suggestions, corrections, critics, etc,etc,etc, don't doubt to drop me a line at derrewyn@hotmail.com or at derrewyn@bolt.com. Please, if you are linking this page to yours, or taking the story to post it on your own site, do tell me about it, so I can add you to my 'links' page and also know where my things are (no, no, I am NOT an order freak, quite the opposite to be honest ^-^!)BTW, in case some of you didn't notice, I don't follow StS story line perfectly (always the rebellious one ^-^). Oh, and before I forget, if you find any horrid gramatical mistake, please, be kind enough to let me know where it is, writing in a language that is not my own is sometimes a pain in the... neck ^-^
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