‘’ You are kidding me, right Saori? Right? ‘’

The mauve-haired girl shook her head and went on throwing clothes from her huge dressing room into a bigger still suitcase.

‘’ But... you are still weak... and besides, you hate very hot days! And Greece is incredibly hot in summer! ‘’

‘’ Seiya, we talked about it tons of times, and we ended up the conversation the same way. You complaining and I closing another suitcase ‘’

Seiya crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. He hated the way Saori had to be always right, how stubborn she was (probably as stubborn as he was). And why would she want to go back to Sanctuary in the first place? Hadn’t she realised that despite being Athena’s land, it was also the first place her enemies attacked? Even Hades had found the way to get to her there!

‘’ Come on, Pegasus, don’t give me that face! Sanctuary needs some reorganisation and you need vacations, I just can’t get why you are being such a mule about it! ‘’ went on a determined Saori, as she sat on the suitcase and tried to close it down without it exploding. Big dresses had always been her soft spot.

‘’ It’s just that I don’t want you to get hurt ‘’ said Seiya, placing a hand on top of the suitcase and closing it easily. Lots of clothes were going to fly the moment Saori tried to open the thing.

Saori sighed. He had become overprotective ever since she recovered, and although she found that attitude extremely sweet; it was also driving her mad. ‘’ Seiya... ‘’

‘’ Yes? ‘’, he answered, pretending to be hurt.

‘’ There is no one left to harm me, Pegasus, we’ve stopped them all. Besides, if anything does happen, you’ll be there to protect me, ne? ‘’

‘’ Hai... ‘’ he said, sounding unconvinced.

‘’ So we are off to Greece! ‘’ giggled Saori, clapping at her own success.

‘’ Hai... ‘’ repeated Seiya, still unconvinced.

‘’ Ora, Seiya, don’t be such a downer! Imagine, we’ll have all Sanctuary for us, you can show me your favourite spots, and I’ll show you the Temple, I bet you weren’t able to sneak into it, were you? ‘’

Seiya looked at her, surprised to hear her say that. The Temple. The most sacred place in Sanctuary, its heart and soul, where Athena lived, dreamed and guided her Saints. The place where only she and her Pope could step into. Holy ground. Athena’s Temple. Saori’s Temple. Saori was Athena. He had been spending so much time with her lately, talking, walking, mainly quarrelling about the most foolish things, that he had forgotten she was a goddess, he had stopped seeing her that way. And that was something he couldn’t allow himself to do, it would only lead him to pain, and he was tired of it, of getting hurt.

‘’ Seiya... ‘’ whispered Saori, realising the change of mood in him. What had she said? What had she done? It was so difficult for her to get to him sometimes that she wanted to slap him. Why couldn’t he understand her? Why? After all she had been through. After all THEY had been through.

‘’ Are you... are you ok? ‘’

Seiya wasn’t able to look into her eyes when answering. He could lie if necessary, but not to those eyes, those eyes that gazed right into his heart, into his soul. He hated to lie, but he could do it, he could do it if that meant not hurting those pure, pool-like eyes.

‘’ Shiryu... Shiryu is waiting for me, he wanted us to spar a little bit before dinner, he is still determined to get my Cosmo back to normal ‘’

Saori nodded, biting her lower lip. His Cosmo. Her friends’ Cosmo. Trying to use it was hurting them terribly, although they hid that fact from her. They didn’t trust her still. They’d protect her, they’d die for her, but they wouldn’t trust her. They wouldn’t see her as one of them. She would always be their Goddess.

‘’ Oh... So what are you waiting for? ‘’ Saori was as bad a liar as Seiya. ‘’ We have almost finish here anyway... ‘’

‘’ Are you... are you sure? ‘’ Guilt. A sudden pang of guilt. He thought he deserved it. Besides, the four empty trunks waiting at the door said otherwise.

‘’ Hai, Seiya, don’t worry ‘’ said Saori, waving her hand in front of her as if saying that it didn’t really matter, ‘’ Besides, I can always ask Tatsumi to lend me a hand ‘’

Seiya nodded, faking a smile.

‘’ Well, if you have any problems just call us, we’ll be at the grounds ‘’

This time Saori was the one faking, as she went back to the pile of dresses, skirts, shoes and coats. Enough clothes to dress the entire country.

She stopped pretending to be folding an already perfectly folded night dress the moment she heard him closing the door. After throwing it into one of the trunks with not much care, she sagged on the closest chair, sighing. Seemed that no matter what she did, they would never see her as their friend. She was doomed to be their Goddess. Nothing... nothing else.

‘’ I hope you are happy, Athena ‘’ she muttered, taking the ribbon she was keeping round her wrist to place it around her hair in a high ponytail, ‘’ I’m the Goddess of freaking Wisdom to them... ‘’ She regretted those words the moment she said them. Because of being their Goddess, they had suffered, and their suffering wasn’t a reason to laugh at, less to joke or be miserable about.

‘’ Ok, I’m sorry ‘’, she went on, speaking to a very attentive wall, ‘’ Although it wouldn’t hurt if you lent me a hand in this, making friends was never my cup of tea, you know? ‘’

The wall stayed as understanding as walls could be, but Saori felt as if she had been heard and answered. Yes, she was determined to prove that she was far more than an all-mighty goddess of war and wisdom. She wanted to prove that she was also human. That she was their friend. That she relied on them.

..................................................................................................................................................

...................................................................................................................................................

Hyoga fell on his knees once again, sweat running down his face, making his hair stick to his neck. He couldn’t remember how many times his body had failed him when trying to use his Cosmo. Yes, he could burn it, even use it, but not for long. Sooner or later it all ended the same, the pain being too unbearable for his body to stand it.

‘’ Hyoga-san... ‘’

‘’ Don’t say it, Shun. I won’t stop ‘’

Shun shook his head and pretended to go back to his reading, eyeing his friend conspicuously over the book cover. Although he couldn’t see any changes in him, he had been having the feeling that Hyoga was hiding something from him, from them all. Ever since they had returned from Elysium, he had been avoiding their company, sulking and snapping at the smallest provocation. And over the past few months he had started with these training sessions of his, straining not only his body, but his Cosmo, putting his own health at peril. Shun had even found him several times lying unconscious on the floor after training for hours, not having eaten or slept. It was after those episodes that he had taken the task of keeping an eye on him, after all he was his best friend, the one who cared about him the most.

Because of that, he had ended up watching him train every time he could, always under the excuse that he liked the calm environment of the grounds and found it perfect for his reading escapades.

Shun didn’t know whether Hyoga had believed him or not, but at least he hadn’t done a thing to stop him, enduring his presence and complains with an admirable stoicism.

It was then when a pair of warm hands closed around his eyes, taking him away from his thoughts and worries.

‘’ Seiyaaaa!!! ‘’, he cried, freeing himself from the bear hug of his friend.

‘’ Still reading, Shun? All those books of yours will end up messing up your brain ‘’

‘’ Because all those anime and action movies won’t alter yours, won’t they Otaku-san? ‘’ he answered, pulling his tongue at him.

Seiya shrugged as he slumped on the bench, taking the book from Shun’s hands.

‘’ Psychology 1? ‘’ he asked, frowning, ‘’ It doesn’t even have pictures! ‘’

‘’ Well, I know you’d prefer something like ‘ The little train that could ‘ ‘’ said Shun, taking back the book and leaving it by his side, ‘’ But well, I think it is important for us to try to understand ourselves a little better. You know too well that we aren’t living an ordinary life, and most people never see the things we do ‘’

Seiya smiled, touched by Shun’s search for answers. His care for others and sincerity were just what he needed to forget the feelings his talk with Saori had brought him.

‘’ Okay, Shun, you’ve got a point there, although I don’t know if it is really affecting us that badly. I mean, we are all the same, aren’t we? ‘’

Shun gave Seiya a quizzical looked, arching one of his delicate eyebrows. Seiya followed his gaze and saw Hyoga, his white Cosmo burning so high that a thick layer of ice covered the floor around him.

‘’ Most of us? ‘’ he joked, smiling widely. Shun giggled a bit, although a sudden flash of icy Cosmo made him stop. Yes, the situation was nothing to laugh about.

‘’ He seems to have recovered his Cosmo, though... ‘’

Shun nodded, pretending he hadn’t noticed the longing in Seiya’s voice. Cosmo. The idea seemed so present, and at the same time, so afar. After ‘coming back’, they had been having serious problems when using Cosmo. Neither he nor Seiya could burn it properly, vanishing from the pain it brought them before they could attain a simple bronze level. Shiryu had experienced similar problems, although he was now able to sustain a silver level –his capacity to concentrate and meditate was admirable-. The only one that seemed to be aloof from those problems was his niisan. Ikki, as always, had only had to submerge himself inside his volcano and there it was, Phoenix was back.

But Hyoga had been a surprise for them all. He hadn’t care much for meditation and neither was he bonded to a place as to have his powers ‘reborn’. And yet, the powerful Cosmo of the Ice Warriors shone in him as strong as ever. So strong that he was finding problems controlling it.

‘’ Lucky bastard... ‘’ muttered Seiya lowly, not really meaning to say so. Although he had always wished his life to be normal, now that his powers were gone, he realised how much he depended on them, how much he valued them. How much he missed them. Being so... vulnerable made him feel as if he was naked. Made him feel as if he wasn’t good enough. Good enough to have such great and mighty friends. Good enough to be a part of that world of wonders that Sanctuary was. Good enough to talk to Athena. Good enough to talk to Saori... Seiya shook his head, trying to make those thoughts disappear. He had never envied anyone in his life, and he wasn’t planning to start now.

‘’ Diamond Dust ‘’ they heard Hyoga calmly saying, as his deadly Cosmo took the shape of that terrible storm, able to kill a man with just touching him. Under the attack of such a cold air, the wall before him froze completely. It would go down by just touching it.

‘’ Damn you, stop helping me!!! ‘’ cried Hyoga, falling to his knees. ‘’ Don’t torture me any more... let me be... ‘’

‘’ Hyoga, are you ok? ‘’ said Shun, forgetting about his book and rushing to his friend’s side, followed closely by Seiya.

‘’ Don’t get any closer! ‘’ Hyoga snapped harshly, regretting his lack of control immediately, ‘’ The ice’s too slippery, you’ll both end on your butts if you try to walk on it ‘’, he added, trying to sound light-hearted.

‘’ Come on, Cygnus, admit it, that was your intention in the first place ‘’, joked Seiya, scratching his head while staring at the now white floor, ‘’ You know, Saori will hate you for turning her training grounds into an ice-skating court... Although on second thoughts, it’s been a while since I practised my eights... ‘’

‘’ Just try it on this ‘court’, Seiya, and you’ll make a wonderful ice-statue for the garden ‘’, said Hyoga sourly, as he knelt and touched the ice. As soon as his palm made contact, the ice rose to envelop it. If he hadn’t had an ice-based Cosmo, he would have lost his hand on the spot.

‘’ Nice trick... ‘’ muttered Seiya, tempted to try touching the ice himself. Maybe that way his Cosmo would start to work as it ought to.

Hyoga shrugged, turning his attention back to his ‘work’. A nice trick, Seiya had said. For him was nothing but a reminder of what he would never be able to possess, of another one of his losses. Frustrated by his thoughts, he closed his fist, and before his friends could tell, sunk it deep into the ice. Soon, millions of tiny crystals were floating all around them, the floor visible once again.

The only proof of his training was now a broken wall, nothing else. Seemed nothing, once changed, could be turned back to normal. Maybe not even himself.

...................................................................................................................................................

‘’ Yes, you’ve heard well, I want six tickets for this afternoon’s flight with destination Greece, tourist class, please ‘’

The voice on the phone went silent for a while. It was in moments like this that Saori wandered if Athena would mind if she used her Cosmo against a civilian.

‘’ And I am to book them under the name of Miss Saori Kido? K-I-D-O ‘’

Saori sighed, wishing she had the girl before her, so she could strangle her with the telephone’s cord.

‘’ Yes... ‘’ she managed to say without losing the cordiality in her voice.

‘’ ... ‘’

‘’ Still there? ‘’

‘’ Yes... yes... Miss Saori Kido, flight 906 with destination Greece... six first-class tickets ‘’

‘’ TOURIST CLASS! Don’t you think that if I wanted to travel in first class I would do it on one of my jets? ‘’

‘’ Listen, girl, we don’t have time to lose with impersonators, if you want to continue on making your parents lose their money on their telephone bill, call another place ,we are hard workers here! ‘’

Saori almost threw the phone right off the window when hearing the ‘’click’’ on the other side. How on Athena’s name was she going to behave as a normal human being if people kept placing obstacles before her?

‘’ Tatsumi... ‘’ she said over the communicator on her desk.

‘’ Yes, my Lady? ‘’ replied the man’s servile voice after two seconds.

‘’ Tell the pilots to be ready to take-off in five hours, destination Greece ‘’

‘’ The private gate, my Lady? ‘’

Saori sighed. It seemed her life was doomed never to be normal.

‘’ Yes, Tatsumi, I leave all the details on your hands ‘’

She didn’t listen to his reply, turning off the damn machine before his voice could be heard. Trying not to bump against any of the trunks and suitcases that she had been collecting in her office, she made her way out of the there, heading towards her room.

The soft pink of the walls welcomed her. Even though she hadn’t been spending much of her time in the mansion lately, her room would always feel like home. Yes, it was still decorated for a ten year-old girl, but she had never wanted to change it, not even the pink and white silk sheets or the heavy fuchsia drapery that hung from both the windows and her bed. It was a little princess’ bedroom, a fantasy place, with porcelain dolls and stuffed bears neatly arranged on a pink marble table. Saori smiled. In that room she saw her old self, the mean, selfish, uppish brat who loved the luxury in which she could afford to live, and if she could show-off, the better it was. It was a reminder of what she could have ended being if it hadn’t been for Seiya. If it hadn’t been for her friends and for Athena. If it hadn’t been for her Grandfather.

Shrugging, she closed the door behind her and eyed the bed conspicuously. Smiling mischievously, she looked over her shoulder, as if making sure of her being alone, and then run towards the bed, jumping on it as the thousand pillows that lay on it flied all over the room. Giggling, she hugged her huge teddy, a masterpiece made especially for her that required the work of craftsmen all over Europe.

‘’ Mister Bear, you know something? ‘’ she asked the ever attentive teddy, that stared at her as comprehensive as the walls had been some time before, ‘’ I’m not the same that I used to be, and I’m glad for that. But that doesn’t mean that I’ve stopped being Saori. No. It just means that I’m a whole new Saori. Do you like her best? ‘’

The bear maintained its sawed smiled, never flinching, never complaining, always soothing. Brave Mister Bear, reliable Mister Bear.

‘’ Yes, you do. I can see it in those black buttoned eyes of yours ‘’, she giggled, placing her nose against its and rubbing it gently.

‘’ ... Do the Saints like her too? ‘’, she asked again, not really sure about the answer. Yes, they cared a little bit more about her. They even where ready to follow her to hell itself. But still, they wouldn’t share their lives. When no battles where at hand, life was theirs, and in a way she felt good about that, it lightened her sadden heart when thinking of the things those boys had had to been through.

It was in times like this that she regretted having been raised by tutors and private professors, never being able to make a friend of her own age, never being able to have someone with whom she could share her thoughts, her feelings, her doubts. But then again, maybe if she had gone to a normal school, she wouldn’t have made friends either. Maybe all the children would have fear her, hate her or mock her. Maybe they would just ignore her.

Was she so horrible, so mean, as for no one to want to be near her?

She was surprised when feeling a tear sliding down her cheek. So much she needed someone? So in pain she was?

Standing up, she left her bed and went towards her mirror, another of the antiques the mansion pride to have. A mauve-haired young woman with watery eyes was looking back at her. Her features were delicate, as if a master sculptor had carved them from a block of marble. Huge and shiny eyes, that sparkled and twinkled every time she flung her long eyelashes. Sensual lips, painted, as an irony, with a childish pink lipstick. A proud chin, long neck, and generous breasts covered by a high-collared white and light pink long dress.

‘’ Me, myself and I ‘’ muttered Saori, taking one of her hands to the polished surface of the mirror. The figure did the same, following every change, every movement in perfect synchrony.

That image had been her only companion over the years, a silent being that approved every one of her doings, that accepted her as she was, with no questions, no doubts. A being that would never understand her, never support her, never share its life with her. A shadow. A reflection in the mirror.

A fake.

The sound of the mirror smashing on the floor was muffled by the carpet, but still, in no time a maid was knocking on the door. Saori had always wondered if there was some kind of camera hidden in her room, for the servants to know when to appear, when to stop her mind from running after her thoughts.

‘’ It’s open ‘’ she said, walking towards the door.

A brown-haired, brown-eyed woman, maybe a year or two older than her, opened shyly. Saori had seen her before, cleaning the living room. It seemed Tatsumi had promoted her to the first floor.

‘’ My Lady, did something happen? ‘’ she asked, pretending not to have notice the broken mirror on the floor. Saori was surprised by the woman’s voice, so sweet and harsh at the same time. The voice of someone whose life wasn’t a gentle one. The voice of someone who had suffered but still hoped.

‘’ Not really ‘’ she answered, walking pass her, ‘’ See that the room is cleaned up and tell Tatsumi that I don’t want a new mirror to be installed ‘’

The girl nodded, keeping her head down. Never make eye contact, let them believe you are less than them, was her main rule to survive, the one that had given her a good job and had taken her out of the streets.

Saori knew this, she had told them so when a child, saying how special she was, how lucky, how filthy rich, while they had nothing, nothing except the money her family so kindly gave them.

Saori smiled when hearing that squeaky voice in her head. Yes, that was her old self, the bossy brat who cared for no one but herself. Me, myself and I.

But she had changed.

Or at least, she was trying to.

‘’ Forgive me, but I don’t recall your name... ‘’ she said, stopping down the archway.

The girl was surprised when hearing her mistress asking her that. She couldn’t remember a time when that snobbish brat had told her anything but ‘do this, do that’, not in her lifetime of working for the Kidos.

Daughter of the cook, she had runaway from the mansion with her boyfriend at age fifteen, decided to start a new life, never having to take orders from anyone again. Decided to forget the confession her mother had made her. Decided to forget who she was.

After two years she returned to her mother, to that life she hated, with a baby and a past she wouldn’t speak off. Back to the house of whispers, of ghosts. Back to be ordered by that child, turned now into a woman whose life was that of a fairy tale. Back to see what she would never possess. Back to see a world in which she would never fit in.

‘’ Pallas, my Lady ‘’ said the girl, still looking at the floor.

‘’ Pallas... ‘’ repeated Saori, curving one of her delicate eyebrows, ‘’ A Greek name... ‘’

‘’ My mother was always fond of the painting down the hall, my lady, but thought naming me Athena would be too pretentious ‘’, she lied, taking her hand to the pendant around her neck and wishing the woman would stop asking so many questions and let her be.

‘’ Oh, I see... Well, I’d better go now I have lots of things to do. A pleasure talking to you, Pallas... ‘’

The girl bowed once again and got into the bedroom, kneeling by the broken pieces and picking them up one by one. Saori stared at her for some seconds and then went back to her office and the pile of clothes that still needed to be packed, glad for having spoken to that girl, glad to be doing her best to change. Glad for, finally, being able to look at her saints with an untroubled mind.

...

...

Artemis woke up with a start, cold sweat covering her body. She was short of breath, and couldn’t stop trembling. Muttering a low curse, she took her hands to her eyes, rubbing them harshly as if that way she would brush her nightmares away with the slumber.

‘’ What...? ‘’ she said, stopping when feeling her hand humid.

Tears.

Artemis chuckled, more from impotence than anything else. She was crying. The idea itself seemed so far off, so unbelievable. It had been years since the last time she had dropped a tear, and now, for something so harmless as a nightmare, she was crying like a baby.

‘’ Damn... ‘’ she sobbed, sitting against the wall of the cave she had been sleeping in and closing her arms around her clutched legs.

But the most she thought about it, the harder she found it to fight against, to stop the tears from flowing, to stop her sobs from ripening her throat.

For a dream. For a freaking nightmare. She was crying for a nightmare.

Deep inside her, she wanted to call for her mother, to feel her arms around her, calming her down. Or the smile of her father. Or the voice of her friends...

‘’ Damn ‘’ she muttered once again, as she started crying so bad that it hurt. None. No one. No one to help her, no one to care for her.

No one to save her.

A throbbing pain on the palm of her left hand made her let out a low whimper, as she rested her head on her knees.

As if not wanting to, she looked at her hand once again, at the small scars that covered it, and the long white one that crossed it. It seemed almost funny, the way it had never healed completely, despite the years.

‘’ You aren’t here either ‘’ she said to the scar, unsuccessfully trying to brush her tears with her free hand. ‘’ You’ve all left me... maybe... maybe I deserve it... Maybe you were right, I am a coward... I am a fake... ‘’

A cold breeze entered through the cave’s entrance, making her shiver. Tired and weak, she looked around for her cloak, but found a huge black wolf sleeping on it, too content after his dinner as to wake up by his mistress’ sobs.

‘’ At least one of us can sleep... ‘’ she whispered, feeling empty now that the tears had stop flowing, ‘’ At least one of us is at peace... ‘’

The wolf twisted in his sleep, half opened his yellow eyes and went back to whatever dreams wolves had.

Artemis smiled weakly, covering herself with the fur she had been using as a mattress. It wasn’t much, but it would do, at least until morning. Not that it really mattered, though, she had few days left at her Argentinean island, it wouldn’t be long for her to change the peaceful song of the southern lakes for that of the sea, for her to lose her solitude, to lose her newly found world.

And to retain her honour. After everything that had happened, after all the things she had been accused of, she had only one thing left, the thing she appreciated the most. She still had her honour.

And she had given it to her sister. She was expected. The time to fix all her mistakes was about to come. The time for her nightmares to stop and for her to find peace. The time to return to Greece. The time to stand high and face her past.

SE FINNI