The Fall of a Goddess

When we two parted/ In silence and tears, /half broken-hearted/ To sever for years, /Pale grew thy cheek and cold/ Colder thy kiss.

(When we two parted – Lord Byron -)

Chapter 6: Bestiae

I

The news had spread like scorching fire through the Bronze Saints. The rumour of Tatsumi’s illness had affected them all, and now they waited.

At least most of them did.

Of the ten bronze saints that had been bonded to Athena since Japan, only seven were sitting at the temple’s hall, waiting for a confirmation of their fears. Waiting for her orders.

‘’ They’ll come ‘’ had whispered Shun when Seiya turned to look at the door for the sixth time, wishing to see his three brothers entering the hall. Pegasus nodded and returned to his nervous pacing. They wouldn’t, he was sure of it now, no matter how much Shun wished they would.

And he could understand them.

Understand why they didn’t care about the man that had turned their childhood into hell.

‘’ Stay still ‘’

Seiya stopped to look at Jabu, who was standing against one of the pillars, eyes closed. It was almost strange to see him again, ever since he had been appointed as Eris’ guard, the Unicorn had remained at her temple, away from most of them, devoted completely to his task. And to his lover.

Yet he had come when hearing the news. He, like all the bronze saints that had to undertake their training after being defeated at the Galaxian Wars, had come to Athena’s temple the moment he heard Tatsumi was dying.

‘’ Sit, Seiya ‘’ smiled Shun, patting the empty space next to him. Seiya obeyed again, letting himself fall next to his friend, his back resting against the marble wall. He had to admit he was glad Shun was there. Without him the waiting would have been unbearable.

‘’ Excuse me... ‘’ said a voice, as a emerald-haired woman entered the hall, her matching eyes searching around.

‘’ Shaina? ‘’

‘’ Seiya... ‘’ she smiled, her eyes brightening when finding what she was looking for. But the light in them soon went dim. ‘’ I-I heard what happened... has she...? ‘’

He shook his head, standing up and walking to her side, leading her to one of the side rooms.

‘’ She still refuses to see us ‘’ he finally said, staring at the floor, ‘’ Even when... ‘’

‘’ Even when you were the one to ask? ‘’

He nodded, afraid of seeing the expression on the silver saint’s face. Over the last week he had been training with her, both of them being already used to the other’s moves making things easier. And he had to admit he had grown closer to her, Shaina being the only one besides his brothers that had went through almost the same things he had had, the only one able to understand him. And he had learnt a lot about and from her over those days. That she was an orphan, just like him. That she had a sister, though she had died some years ago. That she had gained her position in Sanctuary thanks to her determined personality. That she loved to laugh, even though she had learnt to do it some days ago, while training with him.

That she was a good person.

That he wanted to be her friend.

And he didn’t want to hurt her, not anymore.

‘’ Then she will open, Seiya, just give her time ‘’ He looked up at her, frowning. Wondering how could she be so understanding. How she could say she loved him when all he did was hurting her.

‘’ Thank you, Shaina ‘’

She blinked, cocking her head to one side ‘’ What for, Pegasus? ‘’

He chuckled, poking her shoulder teasingly, ‘’ For everything, Ophiuchus ‘’

Shaina smiled, ready to answer back, but a woman’s voice interrupted them.

‘’ The Lady will see you now ‘’

Seiya turned to look at Shaina, the emerald-haired nodding in reassurance when meeting his crimson eyes. He smiled back, then returned to Shun’s side, following the Councillor... Marin... into the throne room. Ready to meet Athena.

They all knelt. The seven bronze saints that in some way or the other felt her pain. Shared it.

And for the first time, the petite woman sitting on the throne didn’t stop them. Because she had not the strength to know what to do anymore.

‘’ My Lady... ‘’ ventured Jabu, lifting his gaze to meet her black eyes. Her lifeless eyes. Tired. Dimmed.

‘’ Saori... ‘’ She turned, her eyes travelling over her saints to rest on Seiya. And she smiled.

‘’ My saints... my friends... ‘’ she added, smiling weakly. This was not Athena’s business. It was Saori’s. ‘’ You heard? ‘’

They all nodded, despite she could only see him. She could only consider him.

‘’ Then things will be easier. A letter from the Mansion arrived this morning. Tatsumi is at the hospital under a coma, and the doctors... ‘’ she paused, biting her lower lip, trying to find the strength not to break before them. ‘’ The doctors say his condition is bad. And is getting worse by the minute. They think he might die... ‘’

They stirred and muttered among them, unable to believe what she had just said. Saori smiled. She couldn’t believe it herself.

‘’ I... ‘’ she began, her voice silencing them despite its weakness, ‘’ I have already spoken about this with the Councillor and the Kyoko. That’s why I took so long to accept your request of seeing me ‘’ Seiya smiled reassuringly when her dark eyes rested on him, a gentle glitter in them. Tears. ‘’ I’ve decided to go back to Japan, until he gets better ‘’

Or dies....

‘’ If any of you wants to come, I will understand it and allow it, though I’m afraid that you will have to stay, Jabu ‘’. The Unicorn looked at her pleadingly, though he finally nodded, relenting to her wishes, ‘’ You are the only one that Eris allows near her, and I can’t leave her unguarded, not yet ‘’

‘’ You don’t have to justify your actions, my Lady, I will do as you command ‘’ he replied, lowering his head in obedience.

‘’ Thank you ‘’ she replied sincerely, standing up to walk among them, placing her right hand on his shoulder ‘’ I will send him your love ‘’

Jabu nodded again, a single tear escaping his self-control. Seiya looked at him, puzzled, but quickly returned to look at Saori, feeling he had no right to witness Jabu’s pain. Feeling he had no right to question him. After all, no matter how much pain Tatsumi had brought them, he had always done so for the same reason they had latter shed blood. For Athena.

‘’ We would like to go with you, my Lady ‘’ Geki finally said, taking the leadership after hearing Jabu’s orders. ‘’ If you want us, of course ‘’

‘’ Of course ‘’ she repeated, smiling warmly to the massive saint. ‘’ And... ? ‘’

Shun nodded, making her smile broaden.

‘’ You don’t need to ask, Saori-san ‘’

Saori giggled at Seiya’s answer, though a strangled sob was mixed with the soft sound of her voice. ‘’ Then that will be all. We’ll leave in fifteen minutes’’ she whispered, brushing the tears away with her gloved hands, ‘’ Marin... ‘’

The masked woman nodded, opening the gate for the saints to exit the throne room. One by one left the room, the looks of sadness and worry deepening in some, hidden in others. Until Seiya and Shun remained.

They didn’t exit the room.

Saori didn’t make them leave it.

‘’ The others... ‘’ began Saori, sitting on the throne, not to be above them, but just because she was too tired and drained out as to stand on her feet.

Seiya shook his head, while Shun turned to look at the door, feeling embarrassed by his brother’s lack of sensitiveness.

‘’ Shiryu told me that he wouldn’t mourn a man he respects while that man is still alive. Hyoga said nothing ‘’

‘’ And... my niisan... ‘’ added Shun, but Saori gently shook her head, as if to tell him that he needn’t explain his brother’s actions. She knew well why the Phoenix had not come. She knew he still hated Tatsumi. And understood that. In fact, she had to admit she was surprised almost all of them had come.

‘’ It’s ok. I won’t force them ‘’ she let out, smiling weakly. ‘’ I know how they feel. And that in their hearts, they have forgiven him... ‘’

‘’ My Lady ‘’ interrupted Dohko, emerging from one of the side doors of the throne room. ‘’ Aphrodite is ready ‘’

‘’ Thank you, Dohko ‘’ she said warily, standing up.

‘’ Pisces... ? ‘’

‘’ Yes, Shun, Pisces. He will be my escort in this trip ‘’

Shun blinked, then nodded, Seiya being too surprised as to mutter his awe. ‘’ I’ll be waiting for you next to the Aries Temple, the plane will pick us up there ‘’

...

After their audience with Saori, Shun decided to go with Seiya directly to the Aries temple. Of course, he would have rather talking to his brother first, but knew that he would need more than fifteen minutes to find him. So he just wrote him a short message and gave him to Marin, who had teasingly complained that the Councillor wasn’t there to play messenger, but accepted the task nonetheless.

Seiya took advantage of that little time to ask Shaina to walk with them to the first of the twelve houses. He had feared she would refuse when learning he was leaving to Japan, he had fear she would mock the plea he had whispered in her ear. But the Snake-Holder, the emerald-haired girl with a fiery soul that had scorched him time after time, simply smiled, green eyes glowing with a spark that matched her heart’s.

Be my friend today...

Be the one that I can lean on...

Be my strength... my smile...

So when I return... You can give them back to me....

And make me smile...

Seiya’s words echoed in her ears as she followed. Down the stairs, in perfect and complete silence. She followed, walking next to them but not among them. Be my friend, he had asked her. Allow me to need you this time, he had meant. With no hopes, no doubts, no search for double-meanings.

Be my friend

And Shaina would be, for him. For the feelings she held for him. She would not be an enemy, not a vengeful spirit. She would hold his strength, his smile.

So when I return... You can give them back to me....

She would hold his soul.

And make me smile

‘’ They are ready ‘’ Shaina followed Shun’s index to the large deserted area before the Aries Temple, where a jet waited for them.

‘’ You’d better run for it, Athena won’t like if you two are late ‘’

Shun nodded, bowing to the Silver Saint, ‘’ Take care, Shaina ‘’

‘’ You too ‘’ she replied, returning the bow.

‘’ So... ‘’

‘’ So... take care, Seiya ‘’ she said, smiling softly. ‘’ And watch over Saori, I still don’t trust that Aphrodite ‘’

‘’ Always mistrusting people, Shaina, that’s bad you know? ‘’ he teased, turning towards the jet.

‘’ Seiya... ‘’

He stopped, looking at her. ‘’ Yes? ‘’

Shaina took his hands in hers and kissed them softly, ‘’ Remember, I have your smile now ‘’

Seiya blushed bright red, making her giggle. ‘’ I know ‘’ he finally managed to say, bowing to her before running down the few steps that were left from the twelve houses.

He was the last to enter the jet, the shutter closing behind him soundlessly. Unceremoniously, he let himself fall on the seat next to Shun, still trying to catch his breath from the short run.

‘’ We can leave now ‘’ said Saori to the pilots, trying with all her might to avoid Seiya’s crimson eyes. To ignore his rosy cheeks, brightened by another woman’s words.

To ignore that she had been right that day, when talking to Dohko.

That the one thing she was certain of, was slowly but surely escaping away from her hands.

And into another’s.

 

 

II

 

She shivered, leaning against one of the pillars of Eros’ room, inside the White Temple, the marble giant that Aphrodite had made them built. A cold wind had picked up, blowing from the depths of the cliff the temple was built on. She sighed, taking the silk robe he had given her from the floor and covering her naked body with it.

‘’ I like you best without it ‘’ purred a voice from the bed, making goosebumps appear on her skin by just the sound of it.

Obediently, Dictina let the robe fall, trying to focus on the sensations that voice gave her instead of the cold, trying to ignore the cold wind if that pleased him.

‘’ Much better ‘’ She heard him say, mesmerised by the sound of the silk sheets as he shifted into a more comfortable position. Despite she had her back turned to him, she could picture him in her mind perfectly, the lavender hair falling lightly over his golden shoulders, the burning emerald eyes showing her his desire.

Aphrodite, how can your son have so much power over me?

Some days ago, she could have sworn her heart belonged to Hippolytus and no other. That she wanted him to wait for her, that she wanted... she wanted to have Artemis’ blessings before surrender herself to him. And yet, when Eros had come to her the previous night, she couldn’t resist him. She just fell into his arms as a helpless child, and gave him her maidenhood without even doubting it.

That night... she had never felt so contradictory sensations as that night. Eros was a magnificent lover, or at least she thought he was, being him her only one. He had done things to her that had made her body respond in ways she had never believed possible. Every caress from his hands, every touch of his lips on her skin, had made her shiver, had made her want to scream and stay with him forever, enjoying him... letting him enjoy her. Helpless and subdued, that was how she had felt, unable to stop him, unable to resist the flames that hid inside those burning eyes.

But now... now that she was standing, staring into the darkness of the Island she knew so well, she felt as if all she had done had only served one purpose.

Emptying her.

Leaving nothing.

Dictina couldn’t but wonder if it was always so, that after sex, everyone felt as if a part of him or her had just went into flames and died.

Yet Eros did not seem to share that feeling, after passion had washed off from them, he had merely smiled pleasantly and turned his back on her, falling into a calm sleep.

She wasn’t able to. To sleep. To dream. She feared the nightmares she would have.

She feared she would feel ashamed.

Even though she found no regrets in her heart, she was also still unable to understand how her, the one that had served as High Priestess to Artemis... her half-sister... had been taken away so easily... had taken a path she had never considered...

Dictina wondered if Artemis had felt the same way when she gave herself to that man, if she had felt as dirty and wondrous as she did now. If she had felt able to touch the stars, so later those stars would run away from her, hiding their shine in shame.

The same shame she felt when thinking of her, of the Traitor.

The shame of her family. The shame of the Twelve.

Fortunately, Aphrodite’s mercy would soon reach her. Hippolytus had returned from Japan already, and news from Iphigeneia had arrived hours ago. The youngest of the guardians had been the one chosen by the Goddess to deliver their final judgement. Their last warning. To show Artemis that she had insulted them again. To show her how they hurt because of her.

Aphrodite was so merciful. A true peacekeeper.

If Dictina had been the one to decide Artemis’ fate, she would have sent for her head a long time ago. Her blood should be the one to cleanse the wound she had open in their hearts.

Artemis had spoken so many times about their sisterhood, about the love she held for her, about her trust and her promise to be always sincere to her. And all those words, all those vows, had been nothing but lies. Lies meant to hurt her, lies meant to destroy Ortygia and all that it represented.

But the Guardians would never allow harm to come to the Island. Blood would not taint its soul.

Eros must have noticed the way her knuckled had turned white, because he got up and walked to her side. His fingers ran along the length of her arms, slow and gentles, knowing where and how to touch her. How to make her thoughts banish and disappear into nothingness. Into desire.

‘’ What worries you... ? ‘’ he sighed in her ear, groaning slightly when pressing himself against her.

‘’ Nothing... ‘’ she moaned, turning to meet his eyes, ‘’ I was thinking how short the night was ‘’

He smiled, leading her to his large bed, the silk sheets being a second caress on her skin.

Helpless.

Hopeless.

Subdued.

With an odd detachment, she heard a low shriek, and found it was her own, as he lead her into that limbo where the stars seemed to dance around her, growing nearer, so nearer, until the world melted around them and only the stars remained.

They were so bright, burning as much as her body did, their fire leaking into her soul, melting her, destroying her.

Shattering her.

Until her senses were all that remained, focussed only in the heat that seemed to grow from her limbs.

And then, they disappeared. The moment she felt she was going to reach them, the moment she was certain she would die in their shine, the scorching fire in her body relented, the world turning blinding for a few blissful seconds.

Only to find it had turned even darker still.

She closed her arms around the golden body of the God, her eyes fixed on the ceiling as he reached his own peak, his melodic voice sounding hoarse when he cried out in pleasure, his hands closing almost painfully on her hips.

The stars stay bright for you, golden one, annon?

‘’ I love you ‘’ she whispered, running her fingers through his silky mane, as he slowly recovered, his lips still bringing sparks of the previous fire to life.

‘’ Of course you do ‘’ he finally said, rolling away from her while hiding a yawn, ‘’ I made sure of that ‘’

She nodded absently, the cold wind that had troubled her earlier returning to chill her soul.

 

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Beside the river, swerving under ground

Your future tracked you, snapping at your heels;

Diana, breathless, hunted by your own quick hounds

-Andrew Motion –

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III

 

 

‘’ The Moon is bleeding ‘’

Jabu stirred, stretching his arm on the left side of the bed. And found it was empty. ‘’ Ellie? ‘’

‘’ We are here ‘’ He propped himself up on one elbow, trying to find her.

‘’ Come to bed, is late ‘’ he muttered hoarsely, seeing her leaning against one of the pillars of the small temple that was now their own, her figure stressed by the moonlight.

‘’ It’s early ‘’ she purred, swaying her hips when walking back to the bed. ‘’ We know about those things ‘’

‘’ Nani...? ‘’

She giggled, crawling on top of him and closing her small hands around his wrists, keeping his arms at each side of his head, Jabu being too drowsy as to offer any resistance. ‘’ We know about the causes of Discord... ‘’ she continued, leaning over him to kiss his chest, ‘’ We know about the Moon, and the Owl and the Foam-Born... we know it all ‘’

‘’ Were you always... so humble? ‘’ he let out, finally freeing himself to pull her close to him.

‘’ Silly... we know... ‘’ He smiled as she kissed his forehead, resting his head on her breast, drowsiness slowly taking him back to sleep.

We know discord is growing between the Moon and the Foam-Born...

We saw it in the moon, in the blood-red halo that surrounds her...

Innocent blood to lure the wolf out of her cave...

To turn the Predator into a Prey

A prey that we know shall lose...

Shall be torn into pieces...

Because she can not fight those that she loves most.

 

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The truth is often a terrible weapon of aggression. It is possible to lie, and even to murder, for the truth.

-Alfred Adler-

------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

IV

 

‘’ I’m here ‘’

The three saints stopped their conversation when she opened the door, the girl not even waiting for Dohko’s permission to enter the Temple. Her icy eyes moved from one to another, ignoring Shiryu almost immediately and darkening when resting on Hyoga, until she finally stopped on Dohko.

The most important man in Sanctuary.

She had felt Saori’s departure at the afternoon, and had been waiting to be summoned by the Kyoko ever since. He did not come. At dawn, June knocked on her door with a message. Artemis didn’t show up until morning.

‘’ Goddess ‘’

She rolled her eyes, waving her hand to hurry him. She already knew what he would say, what he would probably ask her. Yet protocol had to be followed, it had always been so. To make the blow lighter. To justify one’s actions and make them look harmless.

To stab someone on the back.

‘’ Kyoko, Artemis ‘’ muttered Dragon, bowing before walking towards the door, followed by Hyoga, who had bowed only to Libra.

So you still ignore me, icy swan... you still hate me, deep inside your heart

I am glad.

Because you hate me.

Everyone does.

 

‘’ Bye bye, Hyoga ‘’ she whispered, her eyes locking on his the moment he walked pass her, a half-smile appearing on her pale lips when realising she couldn’t read his thoughts in them. A true ice saint.

Allow me to make you hate me.

Your hate is something I can deal with.

‘’ Athena had to leave Sanctuary yesterday... ‘’ began the Kyoko once the Saints had left, catching the goddess’ attention.

‘’ I know, you had to put down the Veil for the plane to arrive... and leave. Fifteen minutes of being unprotected. A dangerous thing to do nowadays, don’t you think? ‘’

‘’ And why would that be dangerous? ‘’ Artemis chuckled at the amused tone of the Kyoko's voice.

‘’ The things I would give to see the expression on your face, Dohko ‘’ she replied, sitting on the floor unceremoniously. ‘’ Let’s see... you have empty Houses, too many trainees and too little saints, plus two dangerous goddesses who are not your own inside your beloved Sanctuary. Two goddesses that have been speaking to one another. Without a witness to hear what they had said. Oh, my, the things Discord and the Huntress might have planned, huh? ‘’ Even when Dohko was wearing the mask, she was sure he was smiling ‘’ I wouldn’t have left in such a situation. I wouldn’t have put down the Veil. But who the hell am I to question Athena’s decisions? ‘’

‘’ You think like Kanon, Artemis ‘’

‘’ I think like I was taught to think ‘’

The masked man nodded, resting his chin on his hand. Like she was taught to... from what he had heard from her, and by her words, it seemed all she had learnt were her masters’ flaws.

Aquarius’ coldness tempered by Scorpio’s ruthlessness.

‘’ Athena had her reasons. One of her servants at Japan is ill. She thinks it was probably an action from one of the Graude Foundation’s competitors ‘’

‘’ I heard. Her right hand, Tatsumi. The man that used to torture the Bronze Saints ‘’ she smirked, pushing her hair away from her face, ‘’ He probably brought it to himself ‘’

‘’ You seem glad ‘’ She lifted her head to meet the blank look of the mask, a mischievous smile drawing on her lips. ‘’ I am. I heard the bastard was poisoned. I wish him the worst ‘’

‘’ You needn’t. The poisoning was due to ingesting large amounts of atropa belladonna, the doctors say... ‘’

‘’ ... deadly nightshade ‘’

‘’ Excuse me? ‘’ Artemis smiled faintly, her eyes showing nothing. For once, she was glad she was unable to show her feeling, she was glad to have been trained that they were a nuisance and had to be destroyed, or hidden. She was glad for being able to hide that her heart had stopped the moment he named the nightshade. The moment she realised that the reason of the poisoning wasn’t Athena. It was herself.

‘’ Deadly nightshade, the belladonna’s usual name. A well won nickname. You are right, I don’t have to wish the bastard a thing. He is as good as dead. But I suppose he is not the reason you asked to see me, annon? ‘’

The Kyoko shook his head, sitting on his throne, next to Athena’s empty gold one.

‘’ Athena told me that she wishes you to stay here as long as you please. But with her sudden absence, she left it in my hands to decide whether it was best if you stayed out of Sanctuary until her return ‘’

Artemis smirked, cupping her face with her hands and fluttering her eyelashes, ‘’ I was starting to wonder when were you going to start with the protocol business. If you want me to leave, say so, I don’t like sweet words, Dohko dear ‘’

He ignored her teasing, already expecting an answer like that from her. ‘’ I asked ‘’

‘’ Cur? ‘’

‘’ Because of your actions here, Artemis. You healed two saints, fought two others... ‘’ he lifted his hand when she was about to interrupt him, ‘’ I spoke to both of them, I know it was mock fight ‘’

‘’ Both? ‘’

Dohko nodded calmly. ‘’ Chameleon insisted on you staying, she seems to have become quite fond of you ‘’

‘’ I don’t care ‘’

‘’ That was what Cygnus said you would say ‘’

She grinned sheepishly, playing with a strand of her hair, ‘’ Damn ice swan... ‘’

‘’ And then, during the whole week, you hunted... for which the trainees are grateful, they like the improvement in the food... and played with that wolf of yours ‘’

‘’ Arcade is such a cutie, isn’t he? ‘’

‘’ And now you are mocking me ‘’

‘’ Oopsie... ‘’

Dohko rolled his eyes behind the mask, wondering why hadn’t he left this meeting on Marin’s hands.

‘’ But yet you have not done a thing against Athena, and informed her of all she needed to know. And both Aquarius and Scorpio agree that you are not here to attack Sanctuary. That it wouldn’t be your mark ‘’

‘’ Let me save you some time, Dohko ‘’ she said coldly, standing up in a swift movement and walking towards the door. She could feel her anger growing, and knew what happened when she lost control over herself. She knew she had to get out of the room. She couldn’t stand being judged anymore. ‘’ I am not here to take over Sanctuary. I am not interested in attacking or killing Athena. I have no reasons, nor need to do so. I came because I told her I would do so. I came to visit my sister. That should more or less save you from questioning others about me getting loose now that Athena is not here. So tell me, do you want me to leave or not? ‘’

The Kyoko smiled, then, unable to contain himself, he chuckled. ‘’ I was told you would react this way. Milo even warned me about telling you their opinions. But I was puzzled. Athena told you that Sanctuary’s doors were open to you. And so they remain ‘’

She looked at him over her shoulder before exiting the room, ‘’ You are a strange man, Dohko, stranger than what I had thought ‘’

And you are a strange Goddess, Artemis... just don’t prove me that I was wrong in this decision... don’t force me to change my mind...

 

 

 

V

 

Hyoga had waited. He hadn’t had a real reason, yet he had waited by the Kyoko’s door, even when Shiryu had left to the barracks. Even when nothing held him there anymore.

Yet he had stayed.

He hadn’t wanted to, but when her eyes had defied him, he couldn’t but stay. But wish to defy her in return.

To crush her.

To see if she was finally going to leave.

She is dangerous, to us, to herself, to everyone. But she won’t attack Sanctuary. Because she is not a fool. Because she doesn’t care.

The words he had told Dohko when questioned about her echoed in his mind.

She doesn’t care

She never did, why would she start now? She was no threat to Sanctuary, because she gave a damn about it. About them.

About him.

If she should leave had been Dohko’s question. If she should be asked to abandon Sanctuary now that Saori had left.

No

He still couldn’t believe he had answered that. He still couldn’t believe that that had been the only word he had to say about her.

He still couldn’t believe he had not answered ‘yes’.

To have her pushed out of Sanctuary.

To have her pushed away from his life, from his mind.

To make her disappear from his dreams.

From his past.

... Because I fucking promise, that’s why!!...

‘’ Damn ‘’ he muttered, walking away from the Kyoko’s room. He could not stay. He did not want to. He didn’t want to bring back the past, not again.

He didn’t want to face her lies again.

‘’ Amens Melaenis ‘’

He turned when hearing those words, finding Artemis leaning against the door of the Kyoko’s room, her hands curled up into tight fists. He needn’t ask to see that she was angry. Really angry. It was strange... for her to be so affected. He knew it wasn’t because of Dohko, the Kyoko had told him he was not going to ask her to leave. But then... what was it then?

‘’ Artemis... ‘’ he said, her slanted eyes meeting his. Her barriers went up almost instantaneously, the usual mask of coldness replacing the anger that had shone in her eyes seconds before. She had not realised he was still there.

‘’ Cygnus ‘’ she replied. He hated how that sounded from her lips. It was as if she was insulting him, as if she had killed his human side and left the Saint side. As if she were mocking him. ‘’ You didn’t go to Tatsumi’s side. Why? ‘’

Damn her bluntness.

‘’ I don’t mourn the living ‘’

‘’ You don’t... ‘’ she looked away, frowning slightly ‘’ Tell me... do you remember... do you remember when we used to talk in Latin, just to bother Camus because he wanted you to speak Greek instead? ‘’

He stared at her, surprised by her question. She had never said a thing about their past since her arrival, she had never asked him a thing about it. And now she brought that up, just because?

‘’ What game are you playing, Artemis? ‘’ he replied, unable to answer to that. Unable... or not willing... to prod into the past. Not willing to open old wound that had taken years to close.

‘’ Oh, so now all I can do is play games? Damn you, Cygnus ‘’ she growled, walking away from the door and towards the exit.

Yet he stopped her.

When he knew he should be letting her go, he stopped her.

Artemis looked at his hand around her elbow in surprise, immediately lifting her gaze to meet his.

‘’ I remember ‘’ he said seriously, forcing a smile out of her lips.

‘’ I knew you did ‘’ He rolled his eyes at her reply, Artemis chuckling slightly. But her smile soon turned sorrowful, her usually piercing eyes clouding.

‘’ Artemis... ‘’ he ventured, releasing his grip around her arm to place his hand on her shoulder, ‘’ What- ‘’

‘’ Hyoga ‘’ He stopped when she called him by his name, ‘’ Odi et amo; quare id faciam, fortasse requiris. Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior... ‘’

He stared at her, surprised when hearing her say that.

I hate and I love. You may ask why I do so. I do not know, but I feel it and am in torment.

He remembered the phrase, it was from Catullus, one of her favourite poets. She used to say that it was one of her favourites phrases, even though she knew she would never have the chance to say it. Because it didn’t fit her.

She couldn’t feel.

‘’ Because of that... ‘’ she began, moving away from him and heading towards the exit, not even turning to look at him, ‘’ Tatsumi is dying ‘’

So hate me, Cygnus... because hate is what I deserve

 

 

 

SE FINNI