The room was the same. Looked the same. Smelt the same. The rancid stench of blood and urine still remained, the white walls turned grey because of the humidity still reminded me of a tomb. Maybe because that was what this place was. A tomb able to provoke on me a feeling I had long forgotten. Oppression.

For this was that we fought for? To ‘die like a saint’ meant this? Being locked up in a room, forgotten, broken? Left to die. Or maybe... maybe death already had us on its grip when being sent to this place. This was the end of our journey. A dead room in a forgotten hospital, away from the Sanctuary that led us here in the first place. Away from those we fought for, pushed behind them, into the nothingness of forgetfulness. Into the nothingness of not being remembered. Named erased, past erased. Existence being nothing but a problem, a moment that must be fulfilled promptly so that the body and soul would also disappear. And nothing of those who failed would remain.

Sanctuary’s dream.

To be the shinning ones, to be the strong ones. To prevail. The ones that couldn’t... They didn’t deserve belonging to our star-born clique.

My dream.

‘’ Shaina... ‘’

They deserved to be forgotten. They deserved this fate. The nothingness.

Her dream.

I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t know why I had come. She was gone now, even if her pale form was still breathing on this bed, in this room, she was forgotten. Erased. From my life, from Sanctuary, from everything that still existed. She was dead.

‘’ ... you shouldn’t have come ‘’

And she knew it.

The worst thing was that she knew it. And understood it, so much better than I would ever be able to.

Sanctuary didn’t lead us here. Our own pride did.

‘’ I had nothing better to do ‘’

The shell that was left of the being I had once been able to recognise as my sister tried to laugh, but the dry cough that tortured her chest stopped her. Gone. Dead. Forgotten.

‘’ You look better ‘’ I lied, placing a chair next to her bed, mentally thanking the Goddess for forcing her female saints to wear a mask. I wouldn’t have been able to hide the expression of rejection on my face that seeing her like this provoked in me. A shadow of the only person I could call my equal. A carcass of the sister I used to love.

‘’ The doctor says the same... ‘’ she growled, a grim smile flooding her once beautiful face. ‘’ He is as bad a liar as you are ‘’

‘’ Geist... ‘’ I whispered, wishing... pleading... begging that this bitter... thing... weren’t my sister, that everything were nothing but a dream. A cruel, false dream. I was being delusional, of course. It was best than facing the truth.

‘’ I am dying, Shaina... or maybe... just maybe... I am already dead ‘’

She knew.

‘’ I think I died the day I failed you... the day in which... ‘’ The cough stopped her again, shaking her frail body as if she were nothing but a rag doll.

Pretending nothing had happened, I poured her a glass of water and left it on the night table. She would never have forgiven me if I forced her to drink it... if I made her see how weak and useless I thought she was... or she believed she was.

‘’ I have to go ‘’ I muttered, standing up, ‘’ The sun is rising ‘’

‘’ Shaina ‘’ Her voice had sounded so hollow... so cold. As cold as her grip around my wrist. There was strength in that voice. The dying strength of a bitter soul. ‘’ I won’t see the end of this day. The thirst of vengeance kept me alive until now. But it’s not enough. Not anymore... my lungs can’t keep pretending they can work... my body can’t keep sustaining this lie... ‘’

‘’ Geist, finiscila... ‘’

‘’ Sta zitta, Shaina!!! ‘’ I couldn’t but flinched at the demanding tone of her voice. It wasn’t her voice. This wasn’t my sister. ‘’ I clung to life until this day, feeding on the confidence I have in you... on the hopes I place in your hands... I know where you are going, sorella... I know you are leaving to face Pegasus... I know that you have stayed outside of Sanctuary just to kill him... to end the wrong he made you... and me. Sorella... the only thing that stops me from dying is him... is the fact that he is still alive... All that I ask you now is to end that life that shines in him before the sun goes down. Make my death not be in vain. Don’t let me... go... without having my revenge... ‘’

The hate in her dull eyes forced me to take some steps backwards, unable to sustain it. She didn’t know what she was asking from me. She didn’t know what she was saying. Her hopes... her wishes... they were vain... lies... as much as this... life... of hers was.

Yet I couldn’t... I couldn’t avoid seeing myself inside those glass-like eyes. The same hatred. The same emptiness. The same wish for vengeance.

That was why she was asking that. That was why she was forcing her wishes onto me. Because she knew. And I couldn’t refuse. Her own state, her own ‘death’ because of me, had erased the possibility of saying no. If her body was dying because of me, she had the right of asking my soul to die because of her.

‘’ Si, sorella... si ‘’

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The trip to Japan was meaningless to me. It never existed. I could remember being next to Geist in that god-forsaken hospital at the Mediterranean coast, I could remember standing here, in the shadows of another kind of hospital, a pure white one... the one for the star-born... this time at Japan. But what had happened in between didn’t deserve being remembered. It was also erased, as much as I was already erasing my sister’s memory out of my mind. Ending her existence. Even if she was still breathing under those stained sheets, even if her cosmo was still around me. She was gone for me already. She was gone for everyone.

And someone else took her place in my mind. Someone else was my objective today. And before the sun went down, I would have him.

And everything would end.

Geist, him... myself. My soul.

The gift of nothingness.

‘’ Can you feel me? Under your soft sheets, on your skin... whispering in your ear... Can you feel me, shinning one? ‘’

The wind was the only one to answer my call, dancing with the curtains of his room.

‘’ Grant me my gift... fulfil my wish... come with me into nothingness ‘’

And the wind answered again, following me, circling my body with its cold unsubstantial arms as I walked through the yard, lost in the shadows. Concealed.

No one could see me, no one could hear me. The doctors wouldn’t turn when I walked behind them, the nurses wouldn’t even feel me when I would cross the hallways, hidden in their own footsteps. For them, I was already nothing. I was erased.

Even when I entered his room, I was nothing but a shadow.

His form was hidden under the sheets, his calm breathing being the only sound in the room. Pure white room that smelled of flowers. Worthy of a star-born child.

‘’ You sleep... how can you sleep? How can Dream still have gifts for you? Shinning one, star-born, how can you enjoy those gifts, when you have taken everything from me? ‘’

When you have killed my soul.

Yet you sleep. Yet you live. In their hearts, in my sister’s heart. In my heart.

I walked to his side, looking at his peaceful face in awe. The scruffy brown hair covered his closed eyes, where thick eyelashes curled perfectly, enhancing his childish features. No worry lived in his lips either, which were parted lightly. Almost... it was almost as if he was smiling at me.

Just like that time...

‘’ Shinning one... how can you still feel like that? How can you shine? ‘’ I whispered, kneeling on the floor as my hands... my deadly claws.... dared to play with a silky lock of his hair.

‘’ Show me how, star-born child... show me how to shine... ‘’

His breath felt warm against my cheek once I removed my mask. Even when I was standing inches from him, even now that only the smallest gap separated our lips, he didn’t feel me... he didn’t even stir. I was erased for him... I was nothing.

‘’ Seiya-chan, I brought you these flo- ‘’

The sound of the vase shattering, followed by the girl’s scream, made something snap in my head. Made everything lose its form, just to be recreated again. Made me see the truth. Made me put my mask on. The barriers were up again.

‘’ Muori, Pegasus ‘’ I let out, my voice full of disdain, of hate... of hopelessness, as I rose my hands and let them fall on him, ready to slash his face. To destroy him. And erase him.

But he felt me. He made me live again. The curtains of his eyes flung open, revealing the crimson jewels they protected, and he moved. He made me a whole in his eyes once again.

I could have looked into those eyes forever. I could have died in them. Because I knew I would never be erased... I would never be forgotten, as long as their light shone on me.

But the sun broke the spell. Blood-tainted sun.

‘’ Damn you, Seiya! ‘’ I cried, dashing against him, ready to lose my soul in exchange of his life.

And he moved again. He jumped out of the window, shimmering shards of glass following his path. Just like a meteor.

‘’ You won’t escape me! ‘’ And I jumped behind him, following that shimmering light.

‘’ This will end today, Seiya ‘’ I said calmly, leaping over him to fall gracefully on his path. He would always shine higher... but I would always be faster.

‘’ I don’t want to fight you, Shaina! ‘’

‘’ I do ‘’

He blocked me. Despite he was hurt, he was able to block my blows.

I wasn’t so lucky.

‘’ Don’t make me hurt you ‘’ he said. And for an instant, I believed him. I trusted his pleading voice. The sorrow in that voice.

But there was no way out. He had crossed the line. And had took one of my choices away from me. Everyone had taken that choice away from me.

‘’ I wish I couldn’t. But I have to... Do you remember me, Seiya? ‘’

Or have you erased me already? Have you killed me, in your mind?

He frowned when I took off my mask, frowned trying to understand. And something in his mind clicked. The shine in his eyes grew dimmer, and then, as if renewed, burnt again, brighter than ever. I was alive in him. He hadn’t forgotten.

‘’ You were that girl.... the one... with the rabbit ‘’

Yet he didn’t understand. He never would.

‘’ There is a rule for the female saints. A single rule to attain to. The mask. With it, we are equals to men. Without them.... if seen without them, we have to kill the man who saw us... or.... No. We have to kill the man. The other choice... it doesn’t mean a thing anymore... ‘’

‘’ That’s stupid ‘’

‘’ What?! ‘’

‘’ I already told you. I don’t want to fight you, Shaina. I won’t ‘’

‘’ Then I’ll killed you ‘’

And I dashed again. I pushed, I fought with all the hopelessness of my heart. With all my delusions. Before the sun went down, he would die. It would end. This dance of death would end.

Yet the same Sanctuary that forced me to do this wouldn’t let me take his life. It had sent one of its golden angels to stop my wrath.

One of its shinning ones. A star-born.

‘’ Aiolia ‘’

The man didn’t smile. Just nodded. And even that was faint enough. He had come... to save Seiya? To stop me? Why...

‘’ Aiolia, what are you doing here? ‘’

Then I knew. And couldn’t but fear. Seiya had always been so innocent. So... naive.

‘’ I have come to kill you, Seiya ‘’

‘’ It’s... impossible... why... ‘’

‘’ You can’t ‘’ Both men looked at me, one surprised, the other... sorry? The Lion felt sorry for the Snake-Holder? How dare he... how dare he take my prize from me? I had to end this. I had to. I had promised.

‘’ Seiya is mine, no one but me can kill him ‘’ I cried out, almost hysterical.

‘’ Shaina, return to Sanctuary... ‘’ Pity again. I didn’t want his pity. I wanted blood. I wanted to find a way to silence the voices of my soul. I wanted to be forgotten.

‘’ Even if I have to get through you first, I will have Seiya’s life ‘’

He lowered his head, pitying me As if he could see into the depths of my soul, and find that what was inside was worth feeling sorry for.

Was worth his disdain.

‘’ You can’t kill Seiya, Shaina... ‘’

And in that brief instant, in that pause he made, I knew what he had seen. He knew.

‘’ Giati ton agapas ‘’

Bastard.

Damn bastard.

‘’ I will kill him! ‘’ I cried out, shame making me stronger. Fear making me stronger. And I dashed. Not against Seiya, not anymore. Against the one that could see behind my mask. The mask I had built around my soul.

And like the golden angel he was, he granted me bliss. He granted me nothingness.

I smiled as I heard his words, as I heard the ‘urban legend’ that was whispered late at night among trainees, among masters... among saints.

‘’ The power of a Gold Saint can’t be compared to the one of a Silver Saint ‘’

The power of a Gold Saint means being able to touch the power of a God.

The star-born.

The shinning ones.

The forgotten.

Beautiful nothingness.

The golden angel would fulfil my promise... and my soul would die... would feel as cold as my body...

No.

I couldn’t.

The power of a Gold Saint...

A Bronze Saint had no chance.

‘’ Die, Seiya ‘’

Seiya had no chance.

With Aioria’s words, everything inside my head shattered. My mask. My perfect walls. My barriers. Everything disappeared, leaving only the shinning tail of a meteor.

My meteor.

‘’ No!! ‘’

And time froze. For a second, it froze. I was able to look into those crimson stars, I was able to feel them shinning on me. And nothing mattered. Because I would be remember.

‘’ What?! ‘’ they let out at the unison, unable to understand how Seiya still stood. And I couldn’t but smile. Men. They would never accept I was faster.

‘’ Shaina.... why? ‘’

Because.

Why else?

‘’ The rule a female saint... must attain to... ‘’ I managed to say as I fell in his arms. As his arms held me. He held me.

‘’ ... if a man sees her face... she must either kill the man who saw her... or love that man... ‘’

‘’ Shaina... ‘’ I smiled again. There were tears in his eyes. The crimson stars were crying for me, as much as his voice was crying also.

They were burning for me.

He would remember. He wouldn’t let me be forgotten...

‘’ I know this must be awkward, especially for you... but don’t worry... I understand... ‘’

‘’ Shaina... please... ‘’

I can’t stay, my meteor, I am sorry. The sun is dying, I must go with it. I can’t pretend I am not hearing my sister’s cosmo, her voice... her laughter, just as it used to be... I couldn’t deliver you to her, Seiya... I couldn’t fulfil my promise...

Geist, forgive me.

I can’t grant you vengeance, I can’t give you the one I love. But let me take his place... please, let me go with you, sister... let me be your company... the one that will not let you disappear... Because these shinning stars also shone on you once, and they will remember. They won’t let you be erased. As much as they won’t forget me.

‘’ Seiya.... your cosmo... is so warm... ‘’ The sun paled at his gentle warmth, at the fire that burnt inside of him... the sun... tainted red... dying sun... envious sun... ‘’ ... it is just... like an embrace... just like that... time ‘’

Sorella, can you feel it? Burning for me? For us? Can you feel... ?

SE FINNI