***************************************

People say she doesn’t think before she speaks. That she is too blunt, too honest. But that isn’t necessarily the case. Not anymore. She has learned. Everyone around her keeps secrets and refuses to speak the truth, so she is learning by example. Still, she wishes she could tell Giles what is really on her mind right now.

"There are so many things I want to tell you," she whispers.

You’re a great kisser
You look so good without your glasses
You look so good with your glasses
I missed you. Not just missed Giles the ex-Watcher, or Giles the coworker. I missed Giles the... Giles.
Did I mention you’re a great kisser?

Instead, she swallows hard. "Thank you for coming," she says. His head is in her lap, and she holds him. She realizes that if the world has to end now, this isn’t such a bad place to be.

* * * *

Through the haze of pain, it comes to Giles, a flash of knowledge, and he can see Xander there, in front of Willow.

"There," he whispers in relief. He looks up and sees Anya’s face (Was it always so lovely? Were her eyes always this full of humanity?), her blonde hair a halo around her. "It’s not over." And, because he is dying, he no longer cares about decorum. He takes her hand. She grasps his cold hand in hers firmly.

* * * *

He’s gone, she knows it, and there’s nothing she can do about it. She puts her head in her hands, the sadness nearly unbearable. She wants to go and hold him but this death, this is colder than any vengeance and her heart is breaking. She still doesn’t understand. No one ever explained to her why. And now it won’t matter because the world is ending...

Except the shaking has stopped, and there is peace. And... well, there is Giles, sitting up, and before she thinks she rushes to him and hugs him. Hurts him. Woops. She never did figure out how to go easy with the hugging thing.

Giles is explaining about the magic Willow took from him, and about Xander. How he saved the world. She feels pride, but she also finds herself looking at Giles’ mouth as he talks. Such a nice mouth. She smiles, and Giles smiles back. The moment pauses, stretches out. She realizes she is still holding his hand. They seem to share a secret, something no one else ever needs to know.

Finally, Anya sits back. Giles reluctantly lets go of her hand. The moment has passed.

"Let’s get you to a hospital," she says. "Or, no. Wait! I should call an ambulance. That’s what people do at moments like this." Anya runs to the phone but it is dead. No connection, unsurprisingly. Earthquakes tend to wreak havoc on telephone poles. Yet another reason she really ought to consider buying a cell phone.

"I don’t think they’d know what to do with these types of injuries anyway," he grins. She helps him up, and together they walk arm in arm slowly through the rubble.

"I’m... I’m very happy you’re not dead, Giles," she says quietly. They walk outside, and the sun is warm and bright. Giles peers up at the sky, a cloudless blue. So perfect. It is almost too much to take in. He stumbles when he realizes what has just been faced and beaten.

"Giles!" Anya holds him up, but barely. He motions to a bench and she leads him to it. He sits and catches his breath. Anya tries her best to wipe the blood from his cut lip. He watches her face.

"You look different," Giles says softly. "And not just the hair."

"Well, this is a new shirt too."

Giles grins. He finds he cannot stop grinning. "No, you look... you look grown up somehow."

Anya looks down at her hands. "I became a vengeance demon again. Maybe that’s the difference."

Giles shakes his head. "No. That wasn’t a vengeance demon back there risking her life to protect her friends. That was a woman. A good person."

Before she knows it her eyes are tearing up. This happens so rarely to her and she finds it extremely embarrassing and uncomfortable. She blinks rapidly to stop the tears.

"I’m sorry about what happened between you and Xander," Giles says. "And I’d offer you my handkerchief but I don’t have one."

Anya wipes the tears off her face and laughs despite herself. "You’re such a gentleman, Giles. Always so kind." She isn’t used to kindness, not really.

"Anya, what you choose to do now, with your powers, it’s up to you." Giles reaches to touch the amulet around her neck, where her skin is cool. "You can destroy this, or you can choose not to. But... I trust you, no matter what."

Stupid tears. Here they come again. "Please don’t go back to England," she blurts. "It was awful without you." She hugs him again, impulsively, afraid to let go. She does not hurt him this time.

"We’ll see," Giles says quietly. He is very tired. He rests his head against Anya’s, and he absently plays with her hair. "We’ll see."

Part 2

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