Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died.

Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied. Satisfied. Little things I should've said and done, I never took the time.

You were always on my mind.

You were always on my mind.

Fenus - Always On My Mind

~~Tai~~



The guilt felt like a mountain pressing down on my shoulders. I thought that I would topple over at any minute, unable to carry the load. It really was unbearable. Every time I would see Clair, I felt like such a pig. I mean, here we were, finally getting our relationship back together and then I go and blow everything with last night.

"You didn't come home Tai." Clair pouted to me the next morning. "I was getting lonely. But thank God Tyson was free..."

"Don't even joke about that!" I exploded. "And I'm sorry. The shoot kept me after hours." I managed to smile without breaking down and begging for forgiveness.

"Always striving for the best work possible. You're so amazing!" she chirped, wringing her arms around my waist.

"You're the amazing one." I muttered, kissing her cheek. I felt so disgusted with myself that it wasn't even funny.

"Oh, before I forget, we've been invited over to Carmen's house for dinner tonight. Be there or die!" she warned, her brilliant eyes sparkling mischievously. I groaned mentally because Carmen's 'parties' were usually two guests herself, her husband and a huge pot of tea, that I always wished was filled with whisky.

"I will." I promised kissing her again. "But I'd rather be home with you... alone... having you all to myself..." I muttered, losing myself in her presence. She really was the most beautiful person I knew. Her heart was so filled with kindness and love, and I was petrified of making that heart turn miserable.

"Kamiya! I need those photos now!" Patrick bellowed as I sighed deeply, pulling my hair out of my face. At sometimes that little bugger was so annoying.

"Here." I said stubbornly, thrusting the camera in his hand. "Take it and leave me alone!" I begged as he walked off satisfied. How I put up with him all those years is beyond me. I must have been stoned off my rocker when I hired him...

"Tonight. 8:00. Her suite. Bye Tai." she smiled, kissing the tip of my nose and rushing off to her next shoot. For some reason, this month had been the most hectic month I'd seen in years. I was booked 24/7, and Clair barely had time to breathe between shoots. I smirked, wondering why models exercised as much as they did. All they had to do was spend a week at Zochi!

"Hey there cutie!" Nancy laughed as I tossed her a quick grin. She just popped up out of nowhere, smiling her head off proudly. "I was wondering when you were going to get here!"

"Why?" I asked curiously, as I sat down in the chair next to hers. She grunted slightly as she plopped down at least a hundred stacks of paper as sighed deeply as she took a step back admiring them.

"Because. I have some good news for you." she sighed again, dropping into her seat. Almost mechanically she began riffling through the tons of articles, searching for something.

"What is it love?" I asked, taking a sip of the coffee that was waiting for me in its normal spot. Over the years, I had been known to run on coffee and chocolate, so the staff made it a daily routine to leave me a cup of coffee at Nancy's desk.

"Your 12 o'clock appointment cancelled. Her manager got me late last night, screaming that she ate a Smartie, and he basically had a fit. So, you're free until four." she finished as I laughed. She always had this blunt way of putting things.

"Perfect. I can catch up on lost sleep." I yawned. "This stuff must be Decaf." I pouted, looking at the writing on the side. "I can barely keep my eyes open."

"You must have been here late last night, because I phoned your house at eleven. No answer." she hinted, glancing over at me. I immediately averted my gaze and went back to sipping my beverage.

"Just had a late shoot. Patrick's been on my case all day about it. God he's such a pain in the ass." I told her truthfully as she giggled, nodding her head in agreement.

"You're a saint to put up with him." she smirked.

"I like to think of him as a type of God though." a new voice entered the conversation. My face flushed red before I even knew who was talking. I tilted my head slightly, getting an eyeful of the newest addition to our office.

"Thank you Anya." I said softly, as she smiled widely, showing off her perfect white teeth. She winked at me, before walking off into one of the vacant rooms. Naturally, she turned practically every head on her way there. I laughed a little, but then returned to my conversation with Nancy.

"That girl just doesn't know when to stop." she sighed deeply, stringing her fingers through her thick red hair. A sadden expression darkened her always cheerful face.

"What happened?" I asked her concerned. Nancy never got sad like this! She was probably the strongest woman I knew! "Nancy..." I coaxed soothingly.

"Damn you." she hissed good naturedly. "It's... it's nothing Tai, really it's nothing. Don't go worrying yourself over it. Now. Get out of here! You're free! Leave us minions to our work!"

"Okay! Fine I'll leave!" I laughed as she lightly pushed at my shoulder. "I'll see you again at four. Bye Nancy." I waved, mentally sighing as I walked away. I was thankful that I had managed to escape the executioner's axe, or so it seemed. The one thing about Nancy is that she can always tell when I'm either lying or trying to hide something.

"Oh, and Tai!" she called out after me, as I turned around, spinning on my heels. "I know there's something up with you that you're not telling me. But don't worry, I will find out." she promised, blowing me a kiss.

Perfect... that's exactly what I needed right now. Probably my best friend snooping into my messed up love life. But if she somehow ever found out about Mimi, whatever future I had ever hoped for with Clair would be sent down the drain.

And it was funny. I mean, not as in a laughable type of funny, more of a self-pitying type funny. Here I was, basically on top of the world. I have the looks the money and the fame, the reputation that would get me any job anywhere in the world, and the love of my life on my arm.

I just wasn't sure which girl it was yet. Hell, it wasn't as if I could flip a coin, and then poof, my answer would be there. That would be the cowards way out of this. Just break it off with one of them and pretend that the past we shared meant nothing to me.

Another funny thing about this was, flipping a coin did seem like the best solution; better than a Pro's and Con's list anyway. I just wished with all my heart, or whatever was left of it, that in the end, everything would work out. Let fate decide my future for me.

I was out in the streets, just wandering around aimlessly. I had never realized how much Japan had changed in such a short time. Sure some of it's more distinct features stood out, but still, the changed were there.

Suddenly, a warped sense of deja vu seeped into my brain. My eyes darted around the area over and over again, just looking for something that was familiar to me. And there it was. A rickety old swing set, with an equally depressing slide and sea-saw.

"What the?" I muttered under my breath, walking over and lightly brushing my hands against the chipping paint, on the rusted metal. Why was this area so, so... familiar?

And the only thing that came to mind was Mimi. This was the area she brought me after the confrontation with my parents. The place where she first broke up with me. I remember the pain of that day as if it were yesterday.

I was so stubborn, and refused to let her leave me. I refused to let her just walk away from our relationship like she was, even if there was a fraction of good intention behind it.

I was so in love with her I could barely think straight. Everything she did was magical to me, and she brightened my days. She was my everything back then. And to this day she still is. But only she has a little competition now, as I do her heart.

She was engaged to Mike. As much as I hated to admit it, she was going to marry him, because she loved him enough to say yes. But it wasn't only that. God, there was so much more than that... I just can't explain it. The emotions are spinning in my head faster and faster, as if there's a hurricane trapped inside.

I sighed deeply, taking in the frost air. Winter was dawning upon Japan faster than I had expected. Soon it would be Christmas... oh damn! And Joe's wedding! In the mists of my own problems, I had completely forgotten about his wedding! I only had six days left! "I have to get him a gift." I mumbled, rushing away from the abandoned park to the closest bus stop.

'Memo to self.' I thought as yet another person poked me in the ribs with his or her elbow in the overcrowded bus. 'Buy a car.'

You never really know what it is.

Not until it goes.

And comes again.

It's a miracle.

Vertical Horizon - Miracle

~~Mimi~~

"Smile! Oh, beautiful! You girls are gorgeous! The camera loves you!" a French photographer yelled out in his incredibly thick accent. Anya sighed rather annoyed, but never let her exterior show any signs of irritation.

"I wish this was Tai!" she whispered to me softly. "At least Tai's fun to gaze at! Totally the opposite of this guy!"

Oh Anya, I so agree with you. I really wish it were Tai here as well. I had to tell him something desperately urgent. And it was all about last night... God, just thinking about it made my head swim. His lips on mine, his arms wrapped around me... his breath on my neck, everything.

Everything that I had suppressed for him in the last few years melted away. He kissed me, the way he used to kiss me. Except now, his embraces were filled with experience and passion; but still, underneath they were the same kisses that I never wanted to stop. Now that I have them back, they better not stop.

An odd thing happened though. When I got in, Tai wasn't there. I knew he had shoots all day today, but he wasn't anywhere in sight. It worried me a little, but at least there wouldn't be an awkwardness. I would hate to think of what would happen if someone caught on, with all the little hints we would have dropped...

"That's it! I'm finished! You two are angels!" the photographer shouted exuberantly, as he walked out, just like that. Anya sighed impatiently as she began walking toward the door.

"I swear to God, only Tai will photograph me now! I am making that a request!" she tisked, slamming the door shut. She was so spoiled at times. But just like my friend, I exited the room. I had to get out of what I was wearing!

But as I opened the door, I accidentally hit someone, and a loud crash was heard, followed by a painful groan. I immediately raced outside, and helped up my poor victim. It was a woman, in fact, I had seen her with Tai a few times.

"I am so sorry! I didn't mean to hit you!" I apologized quickly, pulling her to her feet and helping her pick up all the papers that were now scattered across the floor. "I am so sorry!"

"It's okay dear, accidents happen." she smiled, bending down to collect her work. "It's just going to be a pain in the butt putting all these papers back into their original order!"

"I feel so bad now! Please, allow me to help you! It was my fault that they fell." I threw in, not taking no as an answer.

"No need for that, but if you insist, it would save a lot of time. Thank you very much." she praised as we made it over to her desk. I excused myself for a moment as I rushed into the closest changing room and threw on a lime tank top and deep blue flair jeans.

"My name is Mimi by the way." I said as I sat down Indian style in a seat close to her, and began placing the papers back in order. I was thankful that they were numbered at the bottom.

"I know who you are. It's pretty hard not to." the woman smiled. "I'm Nancy Craig. Secretary to the stars, or so I like to think." she smiled widely. I couldn't help but laugh a little. "It's a pleasure to meet you Mimi. I can tell now you're a lot different from other models."

"Why do you say that?" I asked, extending my hand as she shook it. She placed the stack of paper down, and looked me straight in the eye.

"If you were like a few of the girls I've met, you would have just left me, and laughed at my misery, not even bothering to give me the time of day. I can tell you're not like any of them. In a class of your own."

"Thank you." I smiled, blushing lightly.

"You know, in all my years here, I've only met two people like you. One of them being Tai, the photographer and Clair. I'm so glad that those two got together. Such a beautiful couple." she sighed, smiling. I choked a little, instantly feeling guilty again.

"You've known Tai a long time then?" I asked inconspicuously, as I placed a sheet of paper in a different pile.

"Known him!? Are you kidding me sweetie? He practically grew up around me! Doesn't make me feel any younger, but he was always there. Oh, I think I've known him eleven years now. He's such a beautiful child, inside and out. He's been the kindest person in the world to me."

I sat back, relaxing slightly. He hadn't changed at all then. The redheaded woman smiled as she leaned back in her chair slightly. She began to tell me a story, one that involved Tai and herself.

"A long, long time ago, it was my high school reunion. 20 years. Now, I was going through an especially hard time in my life, because I had just lost my husband, Kevin. He died of cancer. I fell apart, and all I could think of was the pain. We had been through everything together, and the doctors said that he was out of the clear. But he really wasn't, and nobody understood what I was going through. But Tai refused to let me down. And I still remember what he told me. 'I might not know exactly what you're feeling now, but believe me, the pain gradually lessens. It never goes away, but it gets better.'"

"I'm so sorry." I apologized. "I had no idea."

"It's all right dear. That was six years this January. But not only did Tai help me through it, he basically pulled me to my reunion and he bought me the most amazing dress I had ever seen. You should have seen all the faces of the girls that used to taunt me about my weight. While they were all stick thin with their stuffy husbands, I had Tai. It was like a dream come true. I was the envy of every person there."

I smirked to myself, laughing in my head. That was exactly the Tai I knew. Perfect in every way imaginable. She kept on describing the night, but I already had an idea of how it ended. Like a fairy tale come true. Tai being the knight in shining armor.

And we just talked for what seemed like ever. She was just one of those people that you could talk to. A totally likeable human. And she told me everything about him. The missing years, I guess. After she had filled in just about every gap in my mind, I wasn't sure wether to feel happy or sad.

According to Nancy, Tai had the perfect life now. He had this amazing future ahead of him, with Clair Butler. If she had known about us, I would have thought she was tormenting me with all the details about them. She just couldn't stop talking about their love. But did she have any idea that I loved him too? That I was the first person he ever loved!? I almost wanted to scream it out. I love Tai Kamiya, and I always will love him, no matter what!

"Well, it was a pleasure speaking to you." I smiled quickly as I rushed away from her, rubbing the back of my neck. I thought my brain was going to explode. Too much had just happened. I had just acquired too much knowledge.

My finger jabbed at the elevator button, praying that it would open soon, so I could run home and just cry. As much as I loved Tai, everything in his life was flowing smoothly, until I showed up that is. I ruined his happiness. In one night, I had ruined four lives. I wonder if there's a Guiness Book of World Records for that...

A bunch of men passed by me, each folding a bucket of sand or cement. Construction materiels. As amazing as Zochi was, it was still going under major construction. There was always a faint hammering of nails, or drilling going on somewhere in the background.

"Gotta fix the circuits." one of them muttered, walking away after handing off his bucket. The bright orange from his hard-hat was almost blinding. A small click brought my head spinning back to the elevator as I stepped in. Ground level, the big red G.

But instead of going down, I went up. Great, some idiot was getting in from the top floor. 24 floors up. Make my trip longer why don't we? I tapped my foot impatiently as the doors opened again. A crowd of people swarmed in, pushing me roughly to the side, claiming dominance over a certain area.

I laughed to myself as they all got out at the next floor. Since when was this generation so lazy that they couldn't walk down ten steps? But as the last person stepped out, and the doors began to slowly shut, something jabbed into the elevator, startling me, and preventing the doors from closing fully.

A pair of hands pried the metal apart, and stepped in. My heart sank. It was Tai. But not here, not now! I tried my best to just ignore him, but who was I kidding? It was Tai for Christ sakes!

But before he could say anything, I spoke. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked carelessly, obviously trying to do the same. "Last night?"

"For everything and anything that I ever made you feel." I muttered, trying hard not to cry. I stared down at the carpeted floor, wishing he would take his eyes off me.

But as his firm hand clamped around my shoulder, my tearing eyes darted over to him. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, loving the closeness of his body. He hugged me back, slowly sh-ing, trying to calm me down slightly.

"Mimi, I have never regretted a single moment with you. Not for one second of my life." he whispered. I tightened my grip on him, refusing to let go.

"Tai, I... I... I messed up big time." I sobbed. "But we can't do this. Not now. You have everything you want here, and sadly, it's not with me. I'm sorry, but this has to be goodbye."

"No." he hissed. "Mimi, I'm not losing you again. The biggest mistake of my life was letting you leave on that plane. And I'll be damned if I let you go now that I have you back."

"But what about Clair?" I breathed. My body trembling like a leaf. He didn't answer right away, he only clenched onto me tighter.

"Mimi, it's so hard to explain, but every time I'm around you, I forget about everything. It's as if we're the only two people on the planet. And I forget about the past, because all I can see is the future. A future with you."

I tried so hard too not to give into his words. I just couldn't. It would be the end. I pulled away from him harshly, breaking away from his warm embrace. I would NOT let myself do this.

I hit the stop button, and braced myself as the elevator came to a halt. I guess I had amazing timing, because we were on a floor. I didn't even wait for the doors to fully open as I snaked my way away from the emotional elevator ride. My head was pounding and I literally had to hold my forehead to support the weight.

This just wasn't fair. I had to deny the one person that truly loved me, because I loved him back. This wasn't fair at all...

So tired now of paying my dues.

I start out strong but I always lose.

It's half the distance before you leave me behind.

It's such a waste of time.

Vertical Horizon - Shackled

~~Tai~~

"Damn." I cursed to myself hitting the wall of the elevator furiously. I had just screwed up big time. But also, in an odd way, I had finally seen the light. For a long time, I had been battling it out between which girl I loved. And right here, right now, I decided.

Mimi. It had always been her, and it always will be. I sighed deeply, letting things just settle in my brain for a while. But there, I had made my choice. So weren't things supposed to get easier from this moment on?

I knew the answer to that. From this moment on, my life was going to get sent through the wash cycle. The doors opened to my floor. I shuffled out, heading straight for my office where I collapsed into my chair. As my head hit the cluttered desk, I fell asleep.

My eyes were so tired of everything, and I just wanted to escape. And I slept peacefully until four, when Nancy memoed me about the shoot. I groaned as I just reached out and grabbed my camera case, gradually making my way to the room where the models were waiting. I was thankful that I at least knew them, Anya and Keiko.

I picked up the portfolio on the way in and threw it casually on the floor. I never bothered reading them anyway. That's what people like Patrick were for. Hell, that's what monkeys are for...

Surprisingly, Oogami waltzed in the room half way through the session, not saying a word. He sat quietly enough and let me do my work. But as soon as I wrapped up, and the girls left, he blasted me. For nothing really, just for the hell of yelling at someone.

I phased out halfway through his long speech, and twiddled my thumbs irritated. I was wide awake bored. But I did notice that his little 'conversations' with me were usually all about the same thing. "Blah blah blah, you're irresponsible. Or, blah blah blah, you better not screw this up."

The temple on the side of my head began to swell with pain as I rubbed it feverishly to get rid of the giant headache that was forming. Why won't he just go away?

"Do you understand?" he finished after a while. I was shocked back into consciousness as I just nodded, as he walked away. I was free of him, finally. But as Oogami left, Patrick came in. I didn't even have to ask what he wanted and surrendered the camera in its case.

"There's a few roles from my previous shoots in there. You might want to have those developed." I spoke, stifling a yawn.

"How far back are we talking?" he asked, proceeding to leave.

"Yesterday." I shrugged. He simply waved me off and disappeared. I glanced at my watch. It was only five; so why did it feel like it was midnight? I couldn't stay awake any longer and I pulled up a chair and fell asleep.

"Wake up sweetie." Nancy laughed as she shook me softly. "Time to get up!"

"Wha... where am I?" I groaned, yawning loudly. My eyes sprang open. "What time is it?"

"Well, let's just say you're just in time for your lunch..." she trailed off.

"Oh damn! Please tell me..."

"You didn't have any shoots. You got off lucky Kamiya." she giggled softly. "But Tai, if I were you, and thank God I'm not right now, I would apologize to Clair right now! Take her out to lunch or something, cause you're as good as screwed. She's pissed at you!"

I hit my head, wincing. "I missed the party yesterday! Oh man, she's gonna kill me!"

"And I do not doubt that. Good luck Tai!" she waved. But I couldn't see her today. Because if I did, then I would be forced to tell her that I was in love with someone else, and I wanted to break up. But at this moment, breaking her heart is the last thing I should do if I wanted to keep living.

So, like the man I am, I ran out of the building, using the back door. I wanted to avoid her at all costs so I could formulate a decent break up speech this time. Last time, the me walking in on her and then leaving didn't really do it for us.

But my stomach was rumbling, so I strolled over to the deli at the end of the corner. They served the best clubs in town.

Wheels I guess are turning.

Somewhere inside my head.

I know that this is.

Deeper than you get.



Vertical Horizon - Finding me

~~Mike~~

"Excuse me, yes you." I sighed impatiently. I kept questioning my reasons for actually coming to this godforsaken place. America was so much better than here, for simple reasons, like the spoke English.

"Yes." someone replied, looking up at me. I had to wrack my brain on how to ask someone for directions around Zochi. I remember Mimi had thrown a fit when I told her I couldn't speak Japanese. She made it her personal mission to teach me.

"Where's the dark room?" I asked, rather proud with myself. He pointed to a door practically in front of me and walked off laughing. I growled softly, eyeing the man evilly. But I couldn't let my temper get the best of me.

I flicked on the light switch, watching the red lightbulb glow vibrantly. The light illuminated the whole room, casting shadows against the naturally dark walls. I popped open the compartment to the cameras I held and yanked out the film.

I couldn't even count how many times I had done this. But Mimi was my fiancee, and I develop her photos. Well, hers and Anya's now. It had become sort of a habit for me, pop, pull and dip.

But another thing about Japan and America were the chemicals used. They were stronger here, hell, the fumes were making my head dizzy. I coughed several times, shaking them off.

But exactly half an hour later, blurry pictures of people became clearer. The distinugishingly gorgeous face of my love and her friend came into view. I smiled to myself, honored beyond my wildest dreams that she was mine. And in a few months, we would declare our love to the world by walking down the aisle. Something to look forward to.

I took the tongs and elevated the newly forming photo from its liquid cage and let the reddish water spill off, back into the metal trey. There was a clothes' line not to far from where I was, so I assumed that was where I hung the pictures. Since almost all of them were developed, I sat back, enjoying my work. It wasn't much, but still, it was enough.

As I scanned the rows, I saw one that was completely blurry. I cursed at myself, knowing that I overused the developing fluid. But then I thought, why aren't the others like that? So I took it down, ignoring the fact my skin was coming in contact with the slippery photograph.

It was the picture. The picture was naturally fuzzy. But why, how could Kamiya take a bad photo? With the way Oogami was hyping this guy up, he was like God or something!

I didn't even bother with that one, and I threw it out. The garbage right next to foot. A timer chimed, signaling the fact the new batch were finished. With the bad photo out of mind, I pulled out the new creations.

Some of them were of Kamiya's girlfriend. A rather cute number with the most gorgeous eyes I had ever seen. Usually I would have thrown a fit about doing others' work, but this time, I really didn't mind.

"Simply beautiful." I muttered, holding up a portrait of her. My eyes furiously caressed her face, taking in her stunning features. She was a goddess, and now I knew why Zochi had made her a full time model.

I curiously looked at the others. I would hand it to Kamiya though; he was a fabulous photographer. He caught the life in them, capturing it on film. But I also had to commend his taste in women. The man wasn't an idiot!

But as I neared the end of the second roll, my eyes almost popped out of my head. At once, all respect I might have had for the man was lost to anger and rage. There he was, kissing my fiancee. Hell, he wasn't just kissing her, she was kissing him back.

I didn't even think. I just reacted. I tore the piece of sopping paper from the water. My hands burning pyreticly as the chemicals seeped into my skin. But my eyes weren't playing some type of joke on me. It really was them.

I found myself looking through the others. Surely enough, there they were. Each picture getting more and more detailed, each picture chipping a small fraction of my soul away. But then, the pictures stopped. The story left at a cliffhanger. A cliffhanger I didn't especially want to know the ending of.

I almost wanted to cry, but instead, I started to laugh. I don't know where it came from, but I began to laugh manically. My jealousy and pure hatred for Tai turned into some twisted sense of humor. But I wouldn't let him have her. No, I would never let anyone take her away from me.

So what if they were having some type of affair behind my back. It's not as if I had been faithful to Mimi all those years. I would let them have their fun. But since I found out about them, I would have some fun of my own. See, the way I had it figured out, was Mimi was supposed to be mine, and only mine. Nobody else could have her. She would be my loyal little wife. Too bad it didn't work the same way for me.

"Beware Kamiya. You're playing in the big leagues now. Mess around with my girl, accept the consequences." I smiled sadistically. "I wonder if Clair will appreciate these as much as I do."

Dry my eyes and tell me what to see.

I'm falling. Every way I turn the same disease.

But I like it. Brace myself and hit the wall with ease.

I'm colliding. I'm not minding the pain.

finger eleven - Bones + Joints





~~Tai~~

Well, I had made it to two straight days without seeing Clair. But at the same time, two days without Mimi. I guess you had to give a little to get a little. It was Saturday now. One of the few days I could relax peacefully. But little did I know, that relaxation would turn ugly.

"Taichi Kamiya!" Clair barked viciously, appearing from out of nowhere. I braced myself for the yelling match that would shortly in sue, praying that she didn't pull out a letter opener and stab me to death. In fact, I think I'll move away from all the pointy objects...

"Clair, I..." I began, but she was really mad at me, and cut me off before I could even finish my sentence.

"You know. You really are the master at giving people the cold shoulder." she spat, stepping forward threateningly. "I thought we could tell each other things Tai! But you've been so distant from me lately!" she was on the verge of tears, and on the verge of lunging forward and strangling me to death.

"Clair..."

"No, shut up!" she hissed. "You see. There's only three reasons why you've been ignoring me. And since I know you're not a) gay b) married, that only leaves c). There's someone else." after I didn't reply, she chocked, crying openly now.

"I'm sorry." I softly apologized. "I never meant..."

"You bastard." she bit, slapping me across the face. "Did you think this was some type of payback Tai? Did you?" she screamed loudly. "I made a mistake all those years ago, I thought we had gotten over that! I thought we moved past that!"

"I said I was sorry Clair! I never wanted to hurt you like this!" I shouted defensively. And it was true. The last thing I wanted to do was make her sad. Even for a second.

"So what, you wanted to break it off with me, so you slept around with one of those floozy, wafer models? Is that it Tai?" she asked, bitterness laced into her voice. "So what, nights you weren't with me, you were with her? Is that it?"

"No! It's not like that Clair! You know me! I would never do something like that!"

"Wrong Tai. I though I knew you. I thought that we were finally getting our lives back on track. I thought we could be happy again. But so much for me and my deluded dreams." she lipped, turning her back to me icily.

"Clair wait!" I cried out after her as she began to storm off.

"No Tai, it's over. We're through, and this time, it's for good." with that, she punched open the door, and slammed it shut. I could have kicked myself. This wasn't how I wanted her to find out!

"Shit!" I cursed, ramming my fist into the wall. "Ow!" I cried out, pulling my hand back rubbing it gently. This was going to turn out to be one of the worst days of my life. I just knew it.

"Tai, where the hell are the pictures from the shoot! We're working on a well oiled machine here Kamiya, and you're just screwing it up!" Patrick shouted, walking in just as Clair left.

I twitched lightly as he began to yell about how everything didn't revolve around me and my life. But didn't he see the way I was? Didn't he have any compassion whatsoever!? But that was the last straw.

"That's it! I have had to put u with your shit for too many years Patrick, that's it, you're fired!" I screamed loudly. "Get out of here before I have security throw you out!"

Now, Patrick wasn't a foolish man and he just walked away with his pride. "You'll pay for this Kamiya. Mark my works you will!"





"Oh, hey Tai." Anya smiled widely, as she bounced over to me. Her wide eyes shining under the lights of the building, framing her pretty face with a glowing light. "You look bad, is there anything I can do to help?" she asked in an almost too suggestive manner which made me very uncomfortable.

"No, I'm fine. Just a problem to sort through. That's all." I lied.

"Well, if you ever need anyone to talk to, you know where to find me." she winked. "Oh and Tai, feel free to stop by any time. Day or night."

I gulped. There was something about that girl that I didn't particularly trust. It was the way she approached things, flirty. Hell, it was more than flirting, it was almost as if she were seducing those around her in a very mild manner.

Clever of her, but it wasn't going to work on me. She rounded the corner, vanishing practically as a few of the construction workers checked her out. One of the joking loudly that he would work here if Oogami payed him in sand.

I chuckled to myself lightly, as I pushed open the elevator door. As I stepped in, I saw Mimi and Mike. My heart stopping, but then beating with jealously as he held a protective arm around her.

"Oh, hello Tai!"he said brightly. "By any chance, did you see Anya anywhere?"

"Yeah, you just missed her." I muttered pointing down the hall.

"Thank you." he smiled again. This time, it was practically fake, like plastic. Mimi opted for silence, but I hoped that it was only temporary, because I had to tell her something desperately important.

I open my mouth to speak, but she cut me off. I wondered what was up with girls interrupting me today. "Listen Tai, I'm not really in the mood to go through the emotional roller-coaster right now, so whatever you're going to say or imply, just forget about it." she said mechanically.

"But I can't." I stated simply. "Mimi, I know that in the last few weeks, both our lives got turned upside down. One minute, we want each other. The next, we want the people we're with now. Things have been bumpy."

"Bumpy? That's what you call it? Bumpy!? Come on Tai! This has been hell for both of us!" "Tai, do you even have a clue how hard this has been?"

"What, you think this has only been hard on you?" I exploded. "Think about this Mimi! My girlfriend just broke up with me because she found out!" I hissed. Mimi's face went deathly pale.

"She knows about us?" she stuttered.

"No." I spat flatly. "But it's not as if it matters anyway." I hit the side of my hand across the wall, sighing deeply. Could things get any worse? But like always, I spoke too soon. The large crash from the elevator halting suddenly was enough to cause both of us to scream and hit the ground painfully. This could not be happening.

"Oh God no." Mimi gasped, jumping up. She smashed her hand into the controls, praying that it would make the cart move.

"So now being alone with me is unbearable, hun?" I smirked, dusting myself off. Mimi kept pushing buttons, and for some reason, the elevator music began to play. And I was serious about my request, I got the music changed.

You said you'd never lie to me,

That you would always be there.

But now standing all alone,

With this pain that I can't bear.

'Oh way to go Tai.' I thought miserably, as I reached over to the control panel, searching for the phone. It had to be here somewhere.

I thought you'd never leave me, That we were gonna last, But I guess you lied to me, 'Cause now that's in the past.

They say that I was foolish, 'Cause,

"Will something turn off this damn music!" Mimi hissed, trying to find the exact button she hit which made it start.

I thought that this was real,

I know our love was true,

I thought you'd never leave me,

But then life played me for a fool.



"What's wrong Mimi?" I almost shouted jovially. "This song remind you too much of something?" I don't know why, but I was pissed. "You're trying to deny it Mimi, but you know that it's impossible! We were meant to be together, but you just seem to keep ignoring the fact!"

"You know what Tai, you don't understand! I'm trying to put the past behind us now! What we once had is over now! I realized that, so why can't you?" she sniffed lightly. "Stop making this so complicated! Just let it go! God, I'm getting married, can't you understand that concept?"

How could you wreck our perfect love? Why did you have to leave me, But now my life is gone, 'Cause now I'm standing here without you. I wish you were back in my arms, Back where your meant to be. I wish you didn't have to go away, 'Cause now it's killing me.

"But I can't Mimi! Face it, love you, and I always will love you! No matter how hard you try to push me away, you know that you still love me, and that you feel the same way too." I gently took her hand, holding it close to her face. "You try to mask it, but marrying him would only make you miserable."

"I love Mike." she whispered lightly, avoiding my eyes.

"That's bullshit Mimi! You don't love him because you love me! And please believe me Mimi, you were always on my mind, every single night, ever since you left! Don't tell me that you've never thought about me just once!"

"But I haven't! I have never thought about you in any type of way since I left!" she screamed as hot tears rolled off her cheeks. She looked right into my eyes as she said this. It stung badly.

"I wouldn't let myself." she muttered, falling into me. "Dammit Tai, why!? Why did you have to come back into my life!?" she cried a little more, pulling away from me. "But we can't. I can't betray Mike like that Tai. He saved me when I thought I lost you."

"Then if you love him so much just kiss me." I coaxed softly. "If you care about him so much, then giving me one kiss won't do anything! It won't mean a single thing to you!"

"I... I..." she stuttered, brushing away crystal tears.

"But if you refuse to kiss me, then I'll know that you still love me more than anything. Just the way I love you."

"You son of a bitch." she hissed lightly.

"That's me in a nutshell." I smirked, as she cracked a short smile. "Come on Mimi. If you can kiss me, and honestly feel nothing, I'll give up and leave you alone. I'll even buy you a wedding present for all I care."

You were my life,

My love,

Now your gone.

And now I know,

That even angels fall

She looked at me for a moment. The silence was becoming deafening. But she strode over to me, and kissed my lips lightly. I wrapped my arms around her, inhaling everything that made her, her. Her life that replenished mine, her soft lips that made my heart flutter faster and faster. The fact that just being close to her, was making my brain go foggy, and lightheaded.

When she finally broke away, she looked at me. Her wide light amber eyes glistening with tears. "Why can't I forget about you?" she asked quietly, pulling up for another embrace.

I held her tightly in my arms, crying myself. She chose me. "I will never let anything come between us ever again."

And you say you got that feeling again. It won't be long enough.

But it may never end. I know.

You say you got that feeling again.

It won't be long enough. But it may never end.



finger eleven - Famous

~~Anya~~

So, Mimi was getting some action on the side. The little bitch. She knew about my feelings for Tai, yet she still went after him! What the hell was her problem!? I mean, it's bad enough she has Mike drooling over her, but now she has Tai too? Why the hell did she always get everything? WHY?

I was the one with the new found talent! I was the beautiful one! I was the one that was supposed to get everything she wanted and more! Not Mimi Tachikawa!

So when Mike came up to me with the perfect plan that would enable us to get what we both wanted, I jumped at the thought. There was no way I was going to let her have Tai as well. Over my dead body! He was mine! But first, I had to make a quick stop off at a little store. At least make it interesting.

I was supposed to be at my apartment in twenty minutes. This had to go perfectly, or else everything would get screwed-up beyond screwed-upness. I waited patiently for the elevator door to open and as soon as I got into my massive suite, I set out right to work.

I had to look drop dead gorgeous. No biggie there. I threw a quick glance at the clock. One minute and things should start. I began to replay the plan in my head. Mike calls Tai, telling him that Mimi wants to talk with him here.

After that, Tai would come all the way over here like the little lap dog he was, and I'll do my work. Hell, how hard can it be to seduce him? If Mimi could do it, then so could I! There. Time was up. The designated waiting period where Mike gets Mimi away from Tai.

Five minutes went by and nothing. Then ten, then fifteen. But as soon as twenty minutes reared its ugly head, there was a loud knocking on the door. "Mimi, you there?" Tai called out.

"Perfect." I whispered as I dashed over to the door, opening it just a crack. "Oh, hello Tai. Come in." I smiled sweetly. Better lay it on thick now.

"Mike called. " he said rather uneasily. "Said Mimi wanted to see me." he muttered walking in as I took his coat.

"Well, Mike must have made a mistake. She's not here." I smirked behind his back in the most innocent voice I could muster. Bolting the door shut was what I wanted, but Mimi had to walk in on us.

As he turned around, he blushed slightly. "Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"What?" I said flatly, not having a clue what he was talking about. But then I realized I was in my housecoat. "Oh, don't worry about it. I wasn't that tired anyway."

"Well, since Mimi isn't here, there really is no reason for me to stay, so I should just leave." he grinned, heading for the door. I pulled on his arm, startling him. I only had five minutes to make with the lovin' so this boy better cave easily!

But I had this feeling he would be difficult. Other men would have caved just knowing I was in forty feet of them. "Tai please don't go. I have to tell you something." I sniffed fakely, dropping my house coat to reveal the lingerie from one of my previous shoots.

It was so fun watching him squirm. He was so damn modest and shy! I began to slowly close the gap that was between us, as he back up. Soon, his back was up against the wall and there was absolutely no escaping me.

"All my life I knew I wanted to be just like Clair." I gulped lightly, saying what was really in my heart now. "I wanted to be exactly like her, in every way!" I cooed seductively, running my fingers over his muscular chest. "But now that I think about it, all I really wanted was what she had. Namely, you."

Without wasting any time I pulled my face up to his, kissing him passionately. My hands moved quickly as I practically ripped off his shirt as I spun him around so he was looking straight at me and only me. But come on Mimi, get here soon! Who knows how long I can hold him for!

As if on cue, Mimi walked through the door. Her eyes widening to the size of beach balls. She was just about ready to collapse. But stupid me, I just had to spin him didn't I.

He pulled away from me violently. "I'm sorry Anya. I can't do this. You're a great girl and all, but I'm in love with someone else. I'm sorry." he apologized once again, stepping away from me and turning around. "Mimi!" he gasped loudly. "It's not what you think!"

But she was crying. Maybe I had done it after all! But I was wrong. She threw her arms around him, kissing him deeply. She didn't even care that I was in the same room.

But that was just about all the rejection and hurt I could take as I bolted from the room, grabbing my coat in the process. I didn't know exactly where to go, but for some reason, I found myself at Mike's place. As I made my way to his room people stared at me oddly.

"What's wrong Anya?" he asked once he opened the door, seeing me crying. I wrapped my arms around him, sobbing loudly.

"It didn't work. I'm so sorry Mike." I wept into his shirt. He absentmindedly stroked my hair, calming me down slightly.

"Hey, you did your best. I just guess it never was meant to be." he said flatly, sighing deeply. "But you're in bad shape, I'm sorry I put you through this."

"I'm sorry for letting you down." I cried. But something unexpected happened as I continued to cry. Mike hushed me by kissing me lightly. His lips brushing against mine gently, making me forget all the pain I was going through. It was only us.

"Don't be sorry for anything." he whispered, pulling me into his arms as carried me over to his bed. "Don't be sorry at all."

Your sweet little hands.

Brush right past me.

Sometimes you don't understand,

Why you can't breath.

finger eleven - Broken Words

~~Mimi~~

"Listen Tai. I have to go to Mike now. I'm calling it off." I promised as he tightened his grip around me. His protective arms were wrapped around me, as he kissed my neck gently. I could barely think when he was around, especially when he was doing that.

"Okay. Hurry back." he smiled, kissing my forehead. "I don't like being away from you."

I laughed calmly, breaking away from him. "I'll be back soon."

"I'm counting on it." he laughed, letting me go. He jumped up, pulling my coat off the sofa and handing it to me politely. "This is for good luck." he purred, kissing me. I literally had to tear myself away from him, just so I could get out the door. He was making this hard for me! But at least I knew he would be there when I got back.

The limo ride over seemed like forever. I just couldn't believe how slow this was going! I wanted everything to just be done with! I wanted to call off this sham of an engagement. But all at the same time, I felt horrible for what I was doing to Mike.

He had never done anything to hurt me. He just wanted the best for me. And here I was, throwing that all back in his face. I never thought I could be such a bitch. Well, here I was, standing outside his door, mentally going through the speech I had.

I quietly slipped the key into the door, twisting the handle as it opened. I stepped in, letting my eyes adjust to the dark. "Mike!" I cried out. A muffled gasp was heard bouncing off the walls as I made my way to his bedroom where the sound originated.

But I wish I never stepped in, because there in front of me was Mike and Anya, wrapped up in each other's arms. Their clothes scattered everywhere. "Shit." Mike exclaimed, grabbing his housecoat. "Mimi..."

"No! Shut up!" I cried half shocked, half relieved. This certainly made it easier on me. "How could you do this? I trusted you!" I shouted. Okay, not exactly the first thing I wanted to say...

"Oh please! Don't play the Virgin Mary on me here Mimi! I know about you and Tai! I've known about it for a long time!" he barked defensively, as he reached into a drawer, pulling out a package of pictures. As he stepped toward me, he threw them at my feet, letting them scatter across the floor like spilt milk. As I gazed down, I felt my knees go weak. "Don't act all innocent Mimi. I have the proof right there! Don't try and deny it!"

"I wasn't going to." I murmured. "But I never cheated on you Mike. Never. Nothing happened that night... he just held me..." I stated, letting a tear escape my eyes. A hard growl forming on his lips.

"You lying bitch!" he spat, backhanding me. My face hit the side of the table that was behind me. My head swimming with pain as the bitter taste of blood formed in my mouth. Spitting it out, I stood up shakily. "I never trusted you. You were only a profit to me."

I didn't even reply to his hurtful words. I simply pulled off the diamond that was sitting on my finger and placed it down on the desk. The soft clinking echoed through the room. And then I let.

For some reason, the ride back to Tai was quicker than the one from him. There was nothing going on in my head, only misery and betrayal coursed through my veins. But the thought of Tai made me forget that, and the hurt was replaced by joy.

"How did he take it?" he asked as he opened the door, letting me inside. I wasted no time throwing my arms around him, collecting him in a steamy kiss.

"Just shut up and love me."



Kids I am the knife.

Dig down to the skin

Knuckled to the bone.

21 too win.

Rob Zombie - Dragula

~~Tai~~

"And do you, Joe Kido, take this woman, Miyako Inou to be your lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold, through good times and bad, till death do you part?" the priest asked, as I gave him an encouraging wink.

"Always." he replied, clutching onto her hand even tighter.

"Then by the power vested in me, and before the power of God, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." the elder man smiled again, watching the young couple seal their loving bond forever.

"Way to go Joe." I shouted over the crowds, at my friend. He gave me a warm grin before getting carted off by family and photographers. Mimi appeared at my side. Her bridesmaid dress flowing around her feet. "In a few months, that's going to be us." I smiled as I kissed her hand, which now ported the ring I gave her.

"I can hardly wait." she grinned. Happiness was all around us, and I was so blessed that I finally found it again, after so many years.

"Well, our flight to Bora Bora leaves in half an hour. I'll go get the limo to hurry up." I stated, looking at my watch.

"Okay, I just want to rush over and give Miyako my congratulations." Mimi chuckled. "I'll be right out."

"Good, because I have to make a quick phone call. If the hotel screwed up, I'll personally kill them all." I joked, making her laugh.

"I love you so much Tai." she smiled, kissing me.

"I love you to Mimi." she then bounced off happily to the new couple as I grabbed my cell phone and walked out the church. There was so much noise close by, so I moved away slightly, walking a little down the street to avoid having to yell.

"Hello Mr. Kamiya, yes, all your reservations are set, and your room is exactly the way you requested it." the manager assured me.

"Perfect." I cheered, as I hung up. "My life is going to be just perfect from now on." but my happiness was cut short as a stabbing pain pierced through my back, digging deeply into my skin, scraping across my spine. With an earsplitting snap, I collapsed to the cold gravel. No feeling whatsoever in my legs.

"I told you that you would pay." Patrick's deep voice laughed maliciously as he yanked out the knife, repeating his action again and again.

Life was draining out of me faster than water pouring out of a faucet. He soon dropped the weapon, and ran away, giggling like a school girl. Screams were blasting out from every corner as I slowly shut my eyes, unable to keep them open anymore.

"No Tai!" Mimi shrieked, rolling me over, and clutching at my body like a life support. "Tai no! Don't leave me!" she begged, crying rapidly. Her tears falling, hitting my face.

"I'm sorry..." I coughed. Blood forming in my mouth. "For not being there for you...I love you..." I gasped, before closing my eyes. My life over, just when it should have begun.

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