And it’s like the first time.
That we’re falling behind them.
We’ve fallen to far down.
No one can save us.
finger eleven -- First Time





PROLOGUE





“You will pay for this Digimon Emperor! Mark my words, I will not rest until you’re suffering worse than I am now!” the captive Digimon threatened. I hadn’t even bothered to learn his name, for he would just be deleted within a few Digimoments.

“And as you can see, I’m petrified.” I mouthed sarcastically, smiling sadistically as I watched the small bits of him evaporated into the air. Another old slave gone, creating room for a capable new one. But I wished I had a penny for every time I was threatened that way. There would be no use for me to take control of the Digiworld, I could buy it!

“Wormmon, what was that Digimon?” I asked, feeling this odd curiosity envelop me.

“A Wizardmon master.”



Ken’s POV



It was like God himself took the time to create him. Carefully taking the most perfect parts of every human and merging them into one. Rummaging around for the absolute best qualities and fitting them in, forming the angelic jigsaw puzzle. Daisuke Motomiya.

I was watching him sleep again. For the 6^th time that week, I just gazed at his handsome face, succumbing to sleep. He was beautiful. He was so beautiful that it almost hurt my eyes to look at him.

I had basically made this a nightly routine of mine. Stay after hours in the Digiworld, just so I could be alone with him. None of my slaves dared disturb me, so I knew that I was totally alone.

I had no weaknesses. It was true. My entire life, I never had anything worth fighting for, or worrying over. And all that changed that one fateful day the Digivice arrived in my room.

I suddenly had this purpose to serve, and I had something worth protecting. And no, it wasn’t the Digiworld. It was him. My heart started to beat a little faster as I thought about him.

And I kept wondering, why? Why did I feel this way about somebody that hated me? And I wasn’t going to deny it, he did hate me. He hated me, with as much passion, as I loved him.

And I was so thankful that he only hated me as the Digimon Emperor. If he ever, ever found out that I was really his beloved friend Ken Ichijouji, I would just die. My heart would just explode in my chest, and I wouldn’t be able to go on.

A simple flicker of Daisuke’s body sent my attention roaring back to him. He murmured something softly, allowing his tempting lips to curl into an almost unnoticeable smile. But I had spent so much time observing him, that I knew every single inch of him.

And I wanted him so badly, my God I never though I could want something so badly in my entire life. I would give up everything I had, just so I could touch him, feel his unruly hair beneath my fingers. The thought just sent shivers up my spine.

But this little spying game of mine did have its negative side. Some of my greatest fears routed with my curiosity. I had to keep coming back with the foreboding lingering above my head, that maybe the next time I see him, he won’t be alone.

I knew of his crush on Kari, and I found it close too impossible that she wasn’t attracted to him. Hell, he had just about every girl at our school chasing after him, doing the oddest things to get his attention.

And he shot them down, one by one, right in front of my eyes. With every broken hearted girl sulking away, my confidence grew and grew. But he would still drool over Kari.

Every day I would have to smile at her, act civil and pretend to be her friend, when in reality, I just wanted to tear her throat out. But that was just my jealousy talking. I was so blinded by jealously and envy, that I couldn’t even see straight when I was near her.

I just thought that she was the stupidest girl alive! She had him! She had him head over heals for her, and she ignored him, rejecting his feelings. I wanted to take her to a hospital and get a psychiatrist to test her for sanity, at least then I’d know if she was just being a bitch, or if she really was insane.

My slender fingers balled at the thought. I hated her more than I ever imagined. She wasn’t just my enemy, she was competition. And as much as I didn’t want to admit it, she had the advantage.

And with every moment I watched him, my hunger to reach out and grab him became overpowering. A part of me wanted to just tear out of my body and run into his room; holding him and vowing to never let him go. But then the reasonable side of me took over.

I couldn’t do that, as much as I wanted to. And believe me, I wanted to! And Daisuke always made fun of me for having no will power. I then went into my dazed mode, just admiring him in every light. Ideas formed in my head, swimming faster and faster.

I wondered, what would happen if I slapped a Dark Spiral on him. He would be mine then. I didn’t care that I would only have his body. God, I did NOT mind that at all. But call me greedy, I wanted the whole package. Mind and body.

I fell for him because of his kind soul and courageous nature. He was different from everyone, and that’s what made him unique. Unique and beautiful in my eyes.

But the desire to follow through with that idea, just make him mine forever, well, it was tempting. Even more than the apple in the Garden of Eden. To just have him hold me every night, to have him close to me. God, to feel his strong heartbeat next to mine, it would be the greatest gift of all.

But something happened. Daisuke, he started to toss, thrashing in the blankets. It was as if he was being tortured in his sleep. His face was twisted, pulled into a look of sheer pain.

And that was all it took. A simple nightmare of his set me off. I raced over to my personal computer, bellowing for the Digiport to open. I silently cursed myself for not installing a faster modem. That would be the first thing I did when I got back.

Minutes later, I found myself in a place I had only dreamed of being. The oh-so-familiar mess scattered around my feet. Clothing littered the floor like dead warriors. Posters of soccer stars covered every available inch of his walls, and there was a small area dedicated to his friends.

As I walked forward, stepping over piles of Sport’s Illustrated and comics, I found his room interesting. To actually be in a place that represented him the best. Careless and messy, yet everything was in its place. Well, to him anyway.

My fingers subconsciously reached out, skimming across the various soccer trophies that were mounted on a particular desk near his bed. He took such great pride in those pieces of plastic that he practically polished them every week.

And I was near him. I was so close to him, I could hear his breathing. Sharp rhythmic sounds that split the silence of the room. I feel to my knees, just gazing at him up close.

And right now, my will power was running low. I almost started to cry at how close I was to him, knowing I couldn’t take him in my arms. And that was all I really needed to satisfy my craving for him. As I reached out, my hand hit with something close near by. I couldn’t even recognize it in the dim light of the room, and whatever it was collided with the hardwood floor causing a huge clatter.

But I knew Dai. A stampede of wild Monocromon could charge through here, and he wouldn’t even flinch. The heaviest sleeper in two worlds!

‘Screw this.’ I though. I needed him now. The panic I felt when I saw him in peril suddenly melting away. He was okay now, but I wasn’t.

I slowly reached out, wondering why my conscience wasn’t doing anything as placed my hand on his bare chest. I suddenly shivered, as bolts of electricity ran through me, making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

I lightly traced the indentations in his stomach, marveling at how amazingly built he was. My fingers danced over him, loving every moment they were in contact with his skin. This was a dream come true for me.

Before I could even start thinking clearly, I passed my hands through his hair; the wisps of chocolate brown caressing every inch of my palm. I was melting, and I knew that nothing I could do now would be able to cure me. Even if I left now, I knew that I had gotten a small taste of him. And Daisuke was addictive.

I stayed by his bedside the entire night. My hand firmly holding his. And as the morning rays crept through his window, I knew it was time for me to go. I would have a lot of explaining to do if his someone caught me here.

I reluctantly pulled away from him, knowing that I would never forget how he felt to me. And I would cherish that night for as long as I lived. And I smiled to myself. And the Digidestined always wondered why I was so tired in the mornings.

“Hey Ken!” Kari’s annoying voice giggled as she bounced over to me. Great, just the last person I wanted to see. Alive that is...

“Hello Kari.” I said forcing a smile, and trying hard to keep the venom from my voice. “How are you today?”

Taking a quick look at me, she smiled again. “Obviously better than you are! Did you get any sleep last night?”

I was trapped in a dream, that’s for sure. “No, not really. I had something important to take care of.” it almost made me sick how sweet I was being. But I had to keep up this charade. Or else they’d figure me out. Kari might not be my favorite person on Earth, but she wasn’t stupid.

“Oh.” she muttered idiotically. What a waste of space. Seriously, she’d do Japan a great favor by removing herself from it. And I started to laugh aloud. The sentence ‘keep the streets clean’ came to mind.

“What’s so funny?” Iori asked, joining my side. I found it strange, but I sympathized with the youngest member more than any of the others. Maybe because we both had someone, we loved taken away from us by death.

“Nothing really. I’m just tired at the moment. No sleep makes you delirious.” I shrugged. “Hey, have any of you seen Daisuke?” I asked casually, hoping that no one noticed the love I spoke as I said his name.

“Oh, did you hear?” Kari stated softly. “His mom called me this morning, saying he was really sick. She thinks it’s the flu. He’s definitely going to be out for a few days.”

“I bet he’s thrilled.” Iori laughed. “He probably injected himself with the virus just so he could miss the test today!”

“You know Daisuke!” Kari laughed, that laugh I hated. It was as aggravating to me as nails on a chalkboard, but even I could sometimes tolerate that.

“Yeah, but he’s strong. He’ll probably get over it faster than he wants to.” the small boy noted.

“Hey guys!” Tk and Miyako both greeted simultaneously as they appeared. The tall boy with the white hat, Takeru Takaishi, or more ‘cleverly’ called Tk. I didn’t like him at all. In fact, after I killed Kari, I would go after him. But he did have his usefulness. I would pray that he harbored feelings for the pretty guardian of light, and they would hook up.

That would leave Dai all to myself. Yeah, I was all into sharing and such, but there were just some things in this world I refused to share. And he was one of them.

Miyako, on the other hand, was the biggest air head I had ever encountered. But granted, she was brilliant. Too bad she wastes most of her functioning brain cells on drooling over guys that had no interest in her.

There they were. The Digidestined. The whole world’s future rested in their hands. And if I were the whole world, I would be very, very scared.

Granted they managed to stop a few of my plans over the years, but they never defeated me, and I would be damned if I ever let them. Not even their gorgeous leader could make me think otherwise. No matter how much he begged.

Actually, the mental picture of Daisuke begged amused me. It surely was a thought I would keep in mind. Right next to the one with him and... wait, I’ll just stop there.

“Ah, so he’s sick. Lucky son of a bitch.” Tk cursed. “While he was lounging around in bed, I was studying my brains out!”

‘You obviously didn’t have far to go.’ I thought, disgusted with them. “Listen, I’m going to be late if I don’t hurry up. I’ll see you after school okay?” I shouted, running off to my own school.

I was so happy that I didn’t have to spend eight hours a day, five days a week with them. Hell, the little hour visits they spend in the Digiworld are plenty! But the thought of being with Dai all that time made suffering along with them seem bearable.

I realized I had an opening in my schedule second period. So I guess that would be spent at Dai’s house. Could my day get any better? I don’t think so.

I had the usual boring classes that I could have taught first. Math. Please spare me, I was doing this math in preschool. I finished off an entire month’s work of lessons in a ten minutes. Within an hour, I already finished off this years, next years, and the year after that’s. I was always so bored in school.

And as the bell roared to life, ending the lesson, or torture session, I was the first to leave the building. It was oddly amusing to watch the shocked expressions of students as their school’s pride and glory raced out of the building.

But with something as delicious as Daisuke waiting for me, how could I waste a minute? I caught the closet bus, knowing that I would soon make it there. God, I though that if I walked, I would have made it there faster. But the bus eventually let me off a block away from his parent’s place.

I had memorized every step up to his door, visualizing what he would look like. I lightly rapped on the door, finding it surprising that the door was open. It lightly creaked open as I stepped inside. Silence.

“What the hell’s up here?” I asked aloud, announcing my presence. Nobody answered. I got really worried, as I started to search through the house for anyone! I hit Dai’s room first. Everything was exactly the same way it was this morning. But with two major differences. He wasn’t there, and his trophies were scattered across the floor.

I knew something was wrong just then. I ran out of his room, straight into the kitchen. There was an elegantly folded piece of paper with Jun’s name on it. I grabbed it hastily, reading the words hungrily.

My eyes became as wide as saucers as I hit the last sentence. “Daisuke’s very sick, I took him to the hospital.” the color drained from my face as I dropped the note and watched as my world crashed down on my shoulders.

I couldn’t wait for the bus again, and personally, spending that much time just waiting would drive my nerves to the brink.

I can’t even remember how I got there. But I know that I ended up at the hospital; my lungs burning, begging for air. Something I was happy to deny them.

And I was lucky, I didn’t even have to waste time asking dim-witted nurses where he was. His mother was sitting in the waiting room, crying her eyes out. The pain inflicted on her face crushed me. “Where is he? What happened?” I demanded to know, stepping up to her.

“He... he...” she sobbed louder, jumping up into my arms. I hugged her reassuringly as I attempted to comfort her.

“Just tell me what happened!” I told her, as my heart lodged itself into my throat. I had a feel in the bottom of my heart that something was seriously wrong with Dai.

“I went into him this morning and... and he was so red... he was burning up and his heartbeat was so light and...” she broke down. That was all I needed to hear.

As soon as I found out where he was, I was already in his room. To my surprise, Kari was there. I had half a nerve to ask what the hell she was doing here, but I stopped halfway trough my thoughts as I saw him.

Red was an understatement. He was damn right burnt! What parts of his skin weren’t blindingly coated in a purplish pink, were covered in tight white bandages. I felt as if someone kicked me straight in the gut.

“What happened to him Ken?” Kari asked, her eyes watering as she leached herself to my side. It was like a Numemon touching me; totally and ultimately disgusting.

“I don’t know Kari.” I muttered numbly, taking a step closer to him. I knew that it wasn’t human though. It must have been a Digimon. And then it dawned on me.

When I went to his house, a Digimon could have snuck out with me, and that must have been what I hit to the ground! One of my slaves did this to him! And that was it. As soon as I got back, I was going to punish every single one of them; guilty or innocent.

“His mom called me. I had no idea he was in this condition.” she wept.

It was like I was trapped in a personal hell, devised only for me. Just watching him lying so vulnerable on a perfectly sterilized cloud of white. He looked like an angel, a beautiful angel. My angel.

There were cords running through every available inch of his arm. Some monitoring his heart, others his brain, some his breathing. I could barely stand to see him in that much pain.

“He slipped into his coma an hour ago.” the doctor spoke, entering the room. “And we’re still wondering what could have caused such burning. It’s almost like an unknown, dilute acid. Well, whatever it was, it was spread all across his body and head.”

“Is it possible this is just some rare disease?” Kari asked, trying to make the best of a bad situation. She obviously couldn’t believe someone would have done this to him.

“Nope.” he stated bluntly.

“Is that a medical term there doc?” I spat, appalled with what was taking care of the man I loved. Hell, if I got a bunch of Candlemon over here, they would probably do a better job.

“No Mr. Ichijouji, we’re still looking for whatever it is that’s hurting your friend.” he stuttered, instantly walking out of the room.

“I have to get out of here, get some water or something.” Kari choked, brushing away her own tears leaving me alone.

That was about all my body could handle at the minute. I shuffled over to him, grabbing a bandaged hand crying. I gently stroked away a piece of his fallen hair, clearing it from the fogged up air mask covering half his face.

“What happened to you?” I asked him lightly, squeezing tighter. “Who did this to you?”

Like a dummy, I stood there waiting for him to move, hoping that I could give him portions of my strength. I would give him all my strength if he could pull out of this.

“Daisuke speak to me please!” I begged, brushing away small droplets of sweat that had formed on his forehead. As soon as my fingers came in contact with his face, his eyes tore apart; warm chocolate pools connected with my pale lavender ones, freezing me in my spot.

And then he let out this blood curdling scream. One that alerted the doctors from all around the hospital. Any friend of Ken Ichijouji deserved and got the best.

Nurses pulled at my jacket, breaking me away from his side. His heartbeat slowing down, almost ceasing to exist.

Panic clutched at my heart grasping its dark emotion with its frigid hand. I had never felt this way in my entire life. Color draining from my face faster than imaginable.

Every defense I had ever possessed smashed away like a tide rolling over a poorly constructed sand castle. People were yelling commands at me, something I definitely wasn’t used to, and the only thing I could do was follow them obediently.

Sitting me down in one of the plastic seats, I gathered enough feeling in my mouth to speak. “What happened to him just then?”

mso-pagination:widow-orphan lines-together'> “He was having a heart attack. Well, that’s the least I can say. And by the looks of his monitors, his brain waves were also giving out, a definite sign of brain damage, and his...”

“Enough!” I bellowed, causing several of the people to turn and stare. But at this moment, I didn’t care. “Just get in there and make sure he’s all right!” I commanded. “If he dies, this hospital will pay dearly!”

“We’ll take care of him.” she promised rushing back into the room. The rest of that day was a blur. I don’t remember how long I spent in the hospital waiting room, or how long I had just stayed by his side after everyone bustled out, congratulating each other.

I sat the entire night staring at him from across the room, basically squished

into the only corner of the room where I could get a perfect view of him, making sure that I didn’t disturb his slumber.

I wrapped my arms around my legs, pulling them closer and closer to me, just crying. I had never felt so dead and bare in my entire life. It was a constant slashing in my heart and a hurricane inside my head. The two things I relied on, messed up to say the least.

And it was like he was dead. Just lying there, completely immune to the world. The only item in the room reassuring me he was still alive was the constant beeping of his heart monitor. After about two hours, I had made a little song with the beeps. Pathetic, I know.

“I’m sorry sir, but you have to leave now. He needs his rest.” a woman announced. I didn’t bother trying to protest and catch a few extra minutes with him. Simply because I knew that if I spent one more second alone, unable to do anything to help him, I would have surely gone insane.

I called a cab, getting to my house within a few minutes. I completely ignored my parents, and charged into my room. Rage peaking in me as I was transported to a place I truly called home.

As soon as Wormmon saw me, he sensed something was wrong, and quickly got out of my way. Making my way through the castle, I bellowed for every name of every slave I had acquired over the years.

Wormmon quickly brought me the well-noted list I had put together. “I want you to tell me exactly where each of these Digimon were last night.” I told him, hissing the command.

“Master, everybody was here last night. There were no breaches of security, and according to the cameras, all the cells were occupied. Nobody left the castle Ken.”

“But that can’t be! A Digimon did that to him!” I yelled, whipping the list at the wall. It was useless, completely and utterly useless. Not even his pathetic Digimon sensed anything was wrong.

Despite her obvious attempts at hiding him, a small blue soccer ball is rather difficult to just shove in your backpack. Personally, I had nothing against Veemon. He proved to be a worthy opponent. It was he always interrupted every possible moment for romance between his master and myself.

I went slightly into a daze, shivering at the thought of us together. Smiling at how perfect it be, to be able to wrap my arms around him and never let go. But I had to remind myself that I had to first find what was making him sick, and make it suffer. There would always be time to make him mine afterward.

“Master, master wake up! You have to return to your world!” Wormmon screeched, practically kicking me out. If I hadn’t been so tired, I would have taught him a lesson on rank, but I was grateful.

The last thing I needed now was another search out for me. I hadn’t even realized I fell asleep. But I guess I was sleepier than I let on. I yawned, finding myself back in my room. I threw on a pair of clean clothes and got my dad to drive me to the hospital. He didn’t care that I was missing school.

I grabbed the bag in my hand, tightening my grip on the handles. I had never felt my nerves race around like they were. And as I entered his room, my heart was set aflutter again.

All his friends were there, circling him. As soon as he saw me, he gave me a smile that made my knees go weak. “Hey Ken.” he grinned. “Come to shower me with gifts?” he joked, playing with a large bear holding a soccer ball.

“Cute bear you got there.” I retorted, smirking as I threw the heavy load down at the end of his feet. “Thought you might like this.”

I was laughing inside, knowing perfectly well he would hate my gift. But it would give him a good laugh.

“Homework. You shouldn’t have. I’m serious.” he grunted, closing the bag.

“Don’t look so down. It’s completed homework.” I winked, taking the bag from the bed and placing against my leg. Everyone chuckled a little.

“Now that sure beats Mr. Cuddles.” he stated, giving his bear a hug.

“Hey! I gave you him!” Kari pouted.

“Oh, what’s that?” Dai said suddenly. Placing the bear to his ear. “Oh really? No! You think? Okay. I’ll ask.” he said so seriously, I couldn’t help but burst out laughing with everyone.

“So, what exactly did Mr. Cuddles have to say?” Tk asked, looking trivially at him.

“He says that the most beautiful girl in Japan should give him a kiss to make him feel better.” he spoke flirtatiously to Kari, who turned beat red. He used his wrapped hand to pull back the hairs his goggles would have held back.

“Is that what the doctor ordered?” she smiled back, playing his game. It made me sick just looking at them. Yeah, this was jealously rearing its ugly head.

“It’s what this doctor ordered.” he tried, holding the bear up.

“Well, I never was one to disobey skilled physicians.” she whispered, leaning down slowly, savoring every moment of being near him.

I couldn’t stand to just sit back and allow that, thing to touch him so I did the only thing that came to mind.

“Ow!” she cried, falling on him as he heavy books came in contact with her ankle.

“I gottcha!” Dai said rapidly, catching her falling form. What a weak female.

“I’m so sorry Kari, the bag just fell over!” I covered, injecting my voice with fake sympathy.

“It’s okay. I rather like the position I’m in now.” she smiled sweetly, sitting on him. “Very comfortable.”

I suddenly found myself wondering if she would be comfortable chained up in my dungeon with my Gazimon.

“Hey Kari, don’t you think you’re hurting him just a little?” I asked, forcing a laugh.

“Actually, something odd happened this morning. When the nurses came to check up on me, the noticed the burns were gone.” he explained, wrapping his arm around her waist protectively, watching her giggle her head off.

“I’m still wondering how those marks got there in the first place! Do you think it could have been a di-” she cut herself off, blushing. “A disease?” she covered weakly.

If I hadn’t known what she was going to say, I would have just shrugged it off as nothing. But we did think alike, I must add.

“The doctors still don’t know what it was. They just think it was an allergic reaction to something. To what, they have no idea.” he added bitterly, slumping back a little. “But who do they thinks gonna buy that bull? Do they seriously think an ‘allergic reaction’ could have done this?” he spat, taking off the white gauze from his hand, showing the rest of the group.

There were no words for what I saw just then. But one came to mind. Mangled. It was like his hand had been shoved through a lawnmower.

“That’s gross Dai!” Miyako whined, burying her face into Tk’s chest.

“And it doesn’t hurt at all! Well I mean, it did, but not any more.” he stated. “And this too.” he said pulling the neck line of his hospital robe down. It was like elastic as he revealed a large pinkish welt in the middle of his stomach.

“That must have hurt.” Iori muttered bluntly.

“Yeah but thank God I’m getting out of here today. I hate not being able to move.” Dai sighed as Kari looked down at him.

“You’re not serious, are you!? You almost die and you’re leaving the next day! What kind of idiot are you!?” she hopped off him, placing her hands on her hips, giving him a dubious glare.

I snarled at her viciously. How dare she take that tone of voice with him!? “I have to agree with Kari, Dai. You could get hurt again!” I reluctantly nodded. I would die if you got hurt again.

“Well it’s nice to know you care, but you can’t talk me out of it! I’m going and that’s final!” he argued stubbornly. Now, I knew him just as well as the others, and when he set his mind to something, it was close too impossible to get him to change it.

“No, you’re staying!” I insisted, walking over to him. He squeezed his eyes shut, still keeping the smirk on his face.

“Make me.” he challenged, staring at me again. His eyes seemed to mesmerize me and I had to give myself a mental kick to keep from staring.

“Fine! I will!” I smiled, reaching out and pinning his shoulder down with one hand.

“Ow!” he cried out, causing me to pull away and step back.

“What’s wrong?” Kari exploded.

“No... nothing. I’m okay, really. My shoulder just spasmed when Ken touched me. No biggie!”

“That’s it Daisuke Motomiya! To get out of this room, you have to get through me first!” Kari stated stubbornly as she placed herself at the door, reminding me tremendously of a Guardmon. They certainly resembled one another...

“Is that a promise?” he asked laughing as everyone rolled their eyes. “It was nothing Kari. I’m fine! My body’s fine! I’m gonna be okay! Trust me!” he begged cutely, pouting.

“Don’t look at me that way Dai! That’s not fair!” she giggled, averting her eyes.

As soon as she wasn’t looking, he hopped out of bed, already in a pair of jeans. Dirty denim. He whipped off his robe and quickly grabbed a black shirt from a soccer bag his mom gave him.

He was a vision in my eyes, and by the stifled gasp from both Kari and Miyako, I knew I wasn’t the only one that thought that. It was as if time slowed down, allowing us to savor ever single second. And I was kinda hoping for an instant replay too, but that was just me being picky.

“Let’s go. Hospitals creep me out.” he said, grabbing his bag and gift.

I casually picked up his school books, sighing deeply. Sometimes life just wasn’t fair. I was so used to getting everything I wanted, and I had never once before had to compete for anything.

“Are you coming Ken?” Dai asked, waiting for me. A smile made its way to my lips as I stood up, passing a hand through my hair.

“Sure.”

It had been about a week since I had last seen the Digidestined. Sure there were our little meaningless battles in the Digiworld, but that wasn’t what I was talking about.

I kept a close eye on Daisuke though. I was so worried that something would happen to him if I wasn’t protecting him in every way I could. I’m not sure if it was a blessing or a cure that he seemed to defeat me with as much ease as he had before he was sick.

But I would be seeing them again today. In one of those rare appearances I made. A soccer game against Dai’s school. They were coming to play at our field, so we supposedly had the home-team advantage.

I could still remember the first soccer game we had ever played together. I put in all the skill I could muster up at the moment to impress him, and impress him I did.

He even proved to be a challenge for me. I only scored nine goals that game when I could have easily scored ninety. I smiled again, floating up to my little cloud that always appeared whenever I thought of him.

“Hey Ken!” Dai screamed out at me, causing me to turn around sharply. He was waving from the bus he was getting off of, smirking widely. “Maybe this time I’ll go easy on you!”

“In your dreams Motomiya!” I called back. The memories of the last game we played together lingered their way back into my mind. It was close. Really, really close.

And I was pulling out all the stops to try and defeat him, but over the years he just became even more talented than I had ever dreamed possible. It was almost as if we were the only two playing, and in mind we were. I found my face blushing a little. Hell, in my mind we were giving a new meaning to the term offside...

“Come on Ken! You’re up!” my coach yelled as a defense-men kicked the ball at me. I noticed Dai was looking out of the corner of my eye, so I plastered on the skill. The ball looked like a blur passing by the goalie, which earned me a cheer from my teammates.

I turned around, gazing at Dai who was clapping as well. “You’re going down!” he mouthed to me, giving me a quick smile before grabbing a ball and began his warm up.

I swear I could have sat and watched him warm up all day. I would even pay money! He was just so cute in his uniform.

Like always, my thoughts were interrupted. Beginning of the game. Without falter, I took my position. Right striker, standing in front of one a player from Daisuke’s team.

I was a little baffled, because I knew that right striker was what he played. He could easily be center, but he was pure speed. Once the balled was passed off to him, there was a 99.9% chance of him scoring.

I spied the field for him, slowly eliminating each position. He wasn’t on the field! What the hell was this? Did his coach want to lose this game? My eyes fell on the bench, gently caressing an angelic figure sitting peacefully. Oddly enough, there wasn’t a look of protest in him. He was sitting it out.

His gaze locked with mine, and he shrugged, already knowing what I was going to ask. He just pointed to the bandage wrapped tightly around his hand. He wasn’t going to chance it.

As soon as the whistle blew, our center forward passed the ball off to me. Daisuke would have caught up to me, but the replacement was simply pathetic. By the time he blinked I was already back at center field; my team already leading 1-0.

“This must be killing you.” I joked passing by Dai.

“Not as much as it’s gonna kill you as soon as I get on!” he challenged, sticking out his tongue.

The game basically continued like that. At half time we were ahead five goals. Every time I scored, he would leer at me, making an irresistibly adorable face. I feared what I would have done if we were the only two people there.

Already my team was cheering on their victory, and I did my best to tell them to not get over confident. With the looks Dai was giving out, not only would he be playing the second half, he would be massacring them. I actually pitied all those that got in his way.

And just like I said, he stepped dignified onto the field, despite his coaches warnings. He took his place at the start of the half, and smirked smugly as the game began again.

I swear, if I ever failed at ruling the Digiworld, I could take up fortune telling as a job to fall back on. Dai just plowed through people scoring two goals within four minutes. I didn’t even bother to try and stop him. Why get in the way of fate?

I allowed him to tie up the game. It would be so much more challenging that way! And I could see his smile scorching through the back of my head as he rounded back to center.

“Lucky shots Motomiya.” I grinned as he stood in front of me. Sweat glazing his face in an almost godly manner.

“Bit me Ichijouji.” he snapped playfully. And you wouldn’t believe how tempted I was to actually follow through with that command. Hell, I would have jumped all over that offer if we were someplace a little less public.

A whistle rang out again as I charged forward. I brushed right past Dai, making slight contact with his shoulder. A playful gesture showing him that now playtime was over.

But instead of a pure aura running beside me, I felt nothing, Daisuke wasn’t beside me. I turned around, completely ignoring the ball that just passed right by me. He was standing there, clutching at his chest, hyperventilating deeply.

I instantly rushed over to his side, and caught him in my arms as he let out another one of his piercing screams. This time, I was so close to him, I could feel the scorching of his skin under mine.

“Daisuke hang on!” I screamed as people from both teams gathered around us. “Get the trainer! Get an ambulance! Get anything!” I ordered them, overcome by fear for him.

Then he said something to me, that startled me right to the core. “Why are you doing this to me?” he asked, his seductive brown eyes swollen with tears. I was just to badly hurt to answer him just then.

My protective nature to those I love kicked in, as I shielded him from basically everyone. But his painful cried just got louder and louder and I knew that they would end up haunting me in my sleep at nights.

Before I was torn off him by a nurse, I whisked a tear droplet freshly fallen from his eye, off his tanned skin. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. As I slowly dragged my fingers down he side of his cheek, a long blister appeared.

“Oh my God...” I stuttered, dropping him as paramedics grabbed at him, safely securing him to a stretcher.

I stepped back clumsily, still reeling in horror. I was so embarrassed that I was considered a genius, and I couldn’t even figure out what plagued my love. It was me. All along, it was me torturing him.

It was almost as if I began to see for the first time. “My shoulder just spasmed when Ken touched me.” I repeated, quoting exactly what Dai said.

Everything made such perfect sense now. That night with him, that explained his hand, the burns and his chest. His hear attack, when I touched his head, the shoulder pain, and now whatever the hell just happened to him.

I was practically drowning in a sea of guilt and pain, and it was at least a thousand times more crueler than anything I could have inflicted on anybody.

“How did this happen?” I asked the grass, as I collapsed into a heap. “How?!”

“I told you Digimon Emperor.” a sadistic voice laughed maliciously in my head. It was vaguely haunting and so familiar. “I told you I would make you suffer! And suffer you are!”

“Who the hell do you think you are?” I demanded, rage coursing in every vein of my body.

“The one person who took it upon himself to bring justice to my people! You tortured us, killing those that were less powerful! You used us as pawns in a chess game, just so you could strike fear into the hearts of those that are too weak to fight back! You turned us against the people we loved, so I decided to do the same to you, Ken Ichijouji!”

“You dare try to take revenge on me?!” I spat.

“I already have.” he smiled triumphantly. “In the many years I was your slave, I noticed your growing love for the leader of the Digidestined. I saw every day how he just got under your skin, intriguing you in unimaginable ways, causing you to go mad! And over time he not only became your strongest point, but your greatest weakness. I was surprised at you Ken. I thought you wouldn’t give into love, but you did and it’s now going to be your downfall!”

I didn’t respond to what he was saying. Hell, I couldn’t respond. The late Digimon keep leering at me, satisfaction just pouring out of him in an almost disgusting manor.

“I’ll find a way to beat this!” I vowed. “Nothing will keep me from him! Absolutely nothing!”

“Oh, I know that Ken.” he paused. “ You’d risk your life to be with him. But the question is, are you willing to risk his?” and with that, he vanished.

I pondered over the question for a few minutes as the commotion died down around me. And I could only come up with one answer. I didn’t know...

After the escapade in at the soccer field, I decided that I had to stay away from him, as painful for me as that would be. Just the thought of not being able to feel his presence near me, was enough to drive me crazy.

And being cooped up in this castle all alone just watching him surely didn’t ease that craving to be near him. Like I said, he was addictive, and to my knowledge, they hadn’t created a patch for him yet. But that was probably what I needed the most right now.

So once again, there I sat, studying him from my monitors. I figured that if I were in the real world, I would be around him constantly, and sooner or later I would cave to the temptation and just give in. And that would most likely kill him.

And the past repeated itself as I retreated to my castle, refusing to step foot out of the Digiworld. I just wanted to stay here and wallow in self-pity. Let the bitterness overrule my emotions and just sink to the bottom of that depressing ocean I now lived in.

I could not be with him. Nothing mattered. Life, death, the Digiworld, nothing. I didn’t care if all my slaves escaped. Hell, I even ordered Wormmon to just release them. What would be the use of having them?

So one more vengeful soul would take revenge on me by going after him again. I feared what they could do now. If they could control the most powerful ruler this miserable planet has ever seen, then they could surely control everyone else.

And just the thought of someone other than myself controlling Daisuke, made my blood boil. I would definitely kill anyone that ever threatened his life in any way and the consequences made no difference to me. Taking him out of my life was the cruelest punishment ever dealt.

Cruel wasn’t even a word to describe it. The only way that I could honestly say it felt was as if someone had ripped my very soul from my chest. My eyes briefly lifted to the monitors again, my eyes captured by the most heavenly sight on earth.

It was a constant torment to just sit back, and watch him. I would occasionally fantasize over how amazing his skin felt under mine, and I would literally sell my soul to Satan himself just to be with him.

I shut my eyes, squeezing back the tears that welled slowly. I wanted to die. Just exit this world with his scent still lingering on my clothing, the feel of him in my arms still burning on my flesh. He was literally suffocating me with his memory and I couldn’t get enough of it.

But such a pleasure as death would be too good for me. This was how it was happening. I was going to waste away in the Digiword, alone in my fortress. But I wouldn’t allow myself to give up just yet. As long as he was still alive, I would stay alive.

And strangely enough, a quote by Winnie the Pooh was the only intelligent thing that came to mind at the moment. “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.” I spoke softly crying myself to sleep. Yes, the Digiworld was really another name for hell. And it was a hell that I would be forced to live in for the remainder of my life.



“Master! Wake up! The Digidestined are here! They’re attacking the fortress!” Wormmon shouted, panic ridden.

“Let them destroy the castle. I don’t care. Let them take over the Digiword for that matter.” I muttered, my eyes still stinging.

“But master...”

“Wormmon do not question me! Ever! I swear if you so much as utter another word I’ll make you clean the entire palace with your tongue!”

“Daisuke is with them!” he hissed at me, knowing perfectly well that would get my attention.

“He is?!” I jumped hastily. But I remembered why I wasn’t allowed around him, and just slumped back in my chair.

My screens flickered on, showing me exactly where they were, and what they were doing. It would be almost pathetically easy to catch them right now, but I didn’t care at all anymore.

But a sense of longing took over my body as I pealed myself from my seat and made my way over to my control panel. With a simple flicker of a switch, a trap door opened beneath them, causing them to fall into my dungeon. Like I said, it was pathetically easy. I noticed that Daisuke landed in one cell, Kari in the one next to him and the others with all the Digimon landed in a small cell far away from everything. This was perfect really.

I can’t even begin to tell you how much I had dreamed of this moment. The day I captured the Digidestined! But most importantly, him. My majestic cape swirled around my ankles as I looked Wormmon straight in the eyes.

“Thank you.” I smiled as I walked down the small corridor to my prisoners. “Oh and Wormmon.”

“Yes master?” he stuttered.

“Start licking.”

My first stop would certainly be Dai. I had spent far too much time away from the one I loved. I walked right into the room, without him even noticing, for he was far too busy nursing his injured arm. I felt a pang of guilt spying on him, but he suddenly noticed my presence and leaned back against the wall, glaring viciously.

And our eyes connected again. His chocolate brown eyes still scorched a hole right through my heart, and like hellfire raging beneath my skin the desire to touch him became unbearable. He was there, as if the devil had granted my wish. And I never knew the devil could be so beautiful.

I started to inhale sharply, trying to fight off the urge to grab him and kiss him. I knew that if I even came in contact with him, I would never let go and I would make him mine in every sense of the word.

“What do you want?” he lipped, never letting his eyes wander from mine.

In my head the answer was as obvious as day and night. Before I could fully understand what I was doing, I had walked over to him, causing him to wince slightly. If I could, I would take away all the pain he felt, and transfer it to me, simply because if I was with him, pain would be nonexistent.

I studied his face for a moment, scanning it madly as if I would forget it soon. But I knew that me forgetting his face would be impossible. “I’m so sorry Daisuke.” I stated softly, almost compassionately.

“What for?” he wondered, suddenly tensing up. As I took a step toward him, he backed up even more into the stone wall. There was no escape and he knew it.

“This...” I muttered, grabbing at his head and pulling his face into mine. I kissed him the way I had dreamed of kissing him since the moment we met. Full of fire and passion, love and purity. My lips captured his, refusing to let go. And it became very clear to me at that moment that I needed him like I needed oxygen.

And whatever I had ever thought his kisses tasted like were instantly removed from my head. They were even better than I could fathom. He was even better than I could fathom or hope for.

I gathered his slowly fading body into my arms, holding him fiercely, kissing every part of him possible. And I could feel his life slipping away him my hold but I couldn’t stop myself.

I had to have more of him! It was as simple as that. I had him right where I wanted him, kissing his life away and I wanted to get closer. I wanted to dominate every part of him, claiming that he was truly mine.

“Please stop...” he begged, gasping in pain as I attacked his neck like a

vampire set out to collect blood. My lips gliding across one of the most delicate parts of his fragile body, stinging with desire.

And I knew that he was dying. He was barely breathing in my protective grasp, but I still refused to let him go. I just couldn’t. My love was slipping away from me, and all I wanted to do was get closer to him. But I knew perfectly well that he would be a corpse before I could even get as close as I wanted.

“Why are you doing this to me?” he begged as my body became dulled with pleasure. My legs were slowly giving out on me as I pushed him harshly against the wall, snaking my arms around his waist passionately.

“Because I want you!” I blared. “I love you! And you will learn to love me!” I practically hissed. And something totally unexpected happened. He pushed me off him, with what little a resistance he had left. His almost lifeless body slammed into the ground, gasping for air.

“No!” he bit, gasping for air. “My heart belongs to somebody the exact opposite of you! My love is filled with love and kindness and light! I could never love a monster like you! Never!!” he swore, blacking out slightly.

“Kari.” I snarl venomously.

“If you lay a hand on her, I swear to God not even the black fires of hell will save you!” he threatened.

At this moment, I had never hated her more in my life. Inhaling just to get the taste of him off me I swooped out of the room gracefully, clutching onto whatever dignity, I possessed. Daisuke was screaming at me to not hurt her. But right now, mercy was beyond me.

I stormed into her dungeon surprising the daylights out of her. Before she had a change to even move, I grabbed a handful of her hair and slammed her face into the wall. Maybe if I deformed her, enough Dai would stop loving her...

“Ow!” she moaned, tearing as I beat her around the room, not caring what happened, or where she died.

“I hate you!” I shouted, throwing her to the ground. Almost immediately I grabbed my whip that was secured by my side and grasped at it tightly in my hand.

She didn’t even have time to speak or scream as I numbly slashed it across her cheeks. I would pause every few seconds, otherwise the old sting would just dull into the newer. I wanted her to feel the type of pain I was going through right now, but I knew that I could stop her agony.

“Why are you doing this to me?” she cried, trying to pull her face away from my whip.

“Because he loves you!” I cried, pulling her up harshly by the collar and backhanding her now bleeding face.

She started to laugh bitterly, something that I really wasn’t expecting from her at this particular moment.“He doesn’t love me.” she spat, the words tasting like acid to her.

“Don’t even try to be smart with me you little bitch! Look at the way he looks at you! Are you so blind you can’t see it!?” I screamed, looking her straight in the eyes.

“He doesn’t love me Ken! Don’t you think I would be with him now if he loved me?” she debated, allowing a tear to fall.

I was more shocked at the fact she thought he didn’t love her, than she knew my identity. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“It’s simple really Ken!” she hissed icily. “He doesn’t want me because he’s in love with someone else that isn’t me.”

For some reason, I fell beside her, cupping her chin in my palm gently. “It hurts so much.” I cried as her warm embrace enveloped me, and her delicate hands stroked my hair. “I love him so much and he thinks I’m a monster!”

“I know the feeling. To have something so close to you, that you can just taste it, but in reality, it couldn’t be further away.” she whispered, crying with me.

“How did you know?”

“I saw you as Ken on earth. And I felt the love in your eyes as you looked at him. He held up the heavens and the stars in your eyes, perfect in every sense of the word.” she stated, clearly taking parts from her own personal experience.

“I would do anything for him Kari. I would never intentionally hurt him ever. I love him to the brink of death. He’s literally my whole world.” I sobbed, clutching onto her like a three year old would his mother.

“Then tell him. Not as the Digimon Emperor, but as his friend.” she hushed.

“I can’t... he hates me, and if I lose our friendship, only thing I have with him, I would die.”

“You have to try Ken. You’ll never know until you’ve tried.” at that moment, the bitter resentment I felt toward the girl melted away. She became a sister to me, someone I could confide in. A true friend.

I stood up, drying my eyes, attempting to compose myself into the calm and fearless persona I had walked in with. I felt like fool for just breaking down my defenses like that, but at least now I was a relieved fool.

Before I reentered Dai’s cell, I removed my glasses and flattened out my hair. To think I could be a completely different person with only a pair of sunglasses and a bottle of hair gel.

In the dim shadows I made out his weak figure. Desire to hold him pulsated through me again. His eyes once again darted over to me, filled with revolt. But the second his gazed met with mine, peace caressed his look.

“Ken...” he coughed. “Get out of here! You shouldn’t be in this place! You can get hurt.” at once he tried to stand up, doing a pretty good job, only wobbling slightly.

But his legs were still weak from the life I had basically drained from him. And before he could hit the ground, I reached over and caught him. Old habits die hard I guess.

“No...” he choked, sorrow filling his voice. “Not you...”

“I’m so sorry Daisuke... I never meant for this to go this far. I never expected to fall for you the way I did.” I apologized, hugging him, praying that this would make up for all the wrong I had done.

“You can’t be him...” he breathed, once again losing energy. “I don’t love a monster... I love Ken...”

My entire reason for living suddenly replenished itself. He loved me! Nothing else mattered in this world. We were alone, caught up in each others life force. Before I could extinguish one, I broke apart from him, allowing him time to re-energize.

My mind raced at possibilities on how we could be together. Sadly, everyone came down to only one. And that was only a last resort in my books. But now, it didn’t look as if I had much of a choice.

“Daisuke, you have to listen to me.” I whispered lightly. “I love you with all my heart and soul and I would give anything for us to be together.”

He weakly looked over at me, sending me a chilling smile at made me shiver. His eyes, the one asset that alone stole my heart seemed to speak for him as the love for his best friend shone though, even in the dismal dungeon.

“I love you Ken. You and only you, now and forever.” he vowed, breathing harshly. Death was slowly swallowing his life, taking him away from me for good.

It pained me to even suggest this, as I reached into my cape, pulling out a Dark Spiral. “This is the only way we can be together without me killing you.” I cried, never realizing how much pain I could experience in such a moment of happiness. “If I put this on you, you’ll never be able to take it off. You’ll be mine till the end of time.”

And he just looked at me, watching every movement I made as he slowly reached out, grabbing my hand tightly. Tears glistening down his cheeks. “I’ve been yours since the first moment I saw you, and I’ll be yours until I stop breathing.” he uttered, holding out his hand obediently.

I couldn’t even watch as the device I created latched itself onto his skin, hugging it protectively, never to be removed.

I immediately clenched onto his deathly pale skin, hugging him tightly. “Hold me.” I commanded as his arms swooped over and loosely hung on me. “Tightly!” I ordered again, as his pliant body held me close.

I had lost him, the part I truly loved the most. His dead eyes looked down at me so empty and void of emotion, hollow and battered. He was a shell that obeyed me, not having an ounce of free will.

Even his hug was stiff and ordered, not warm and willed. He was a soldier, a slave. A slave that would obey me, and only lived to serve me, in every way possible. I had finally gotten everything I wanted.

And that was the first time that I felt true sorrow. Heart wrenching sorrow that drove me to tears in my lovers dead grip.

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