Can you take me higher?
To the place where blind men see.
Can you take me higher?
To the place with golden streets.


Creed- Higher





"Joe." Izzy said through tears. "Please. You have to pull through this." he said clutching at his love's hand. He stared down at him, laying helpless in a bed. Not able to breathe without help.

The silence of the room, was only broken by the comforting sounds of his heart monitor. The only thing that could still prove he was alive. "Izzy!" Sora said rushing into the room. It had been years since she had seen either of them, but as soon as she got Izzy's letter, she packed her bag, and hopped on the next flight out to Japan.

The brown haired boy wiped away the tears that had been staining his cheeks, and looked over at her. Sora could tell he had been crying for sometime now. His eyes were crimson and were swollen. "Sora." he mumbled, before getting up.

He had grown several inches since the last time she had seen him, and he was now taller than her. His chocolate colored hair lay uncombed and knotted. His white shirt was wrinkled, and had small tear puddles on it. All in all, it looked as if he hadn't left the room in days.

"How's he doing?" she asked him lightly, almost whispering.

"Well," he sniffed. "the chemotherapy was working well. He lost all his hair, but he didn't really mind that." Izzy said sadly. "He just said he needed a hair cut anyway." he laughed raspily.

He continued laughing bitterly, then started weeping on Sora's shoulder. "Izzy?" she said hugging the boy.

"I don't want to lose him Sora." he said through tears. "I love him."

"I know you do." she said passing her fingers through his hair.

Izzy continued crying on her, more ferociously. "I don't know what to do without him."

"Come on Izzy." she said haphazardly. "Keep your head up. Don't let him see you like this."

Izzy lightly pushed away from her, and dried his eyes. "You're right." he sniffed. "I have to keep a positive attitude." he turned on his heels, and reclaimed his chair.

He clutched at Joe's limp hand tightly. This caused the tall boy the stir. He opened his large black eyes, staring directly at Sora. "Sora." he coughed. His voice was so weak. "Is that really you?"

"Yeah." she smiled, as she walked over to him, and kissed is forehead. "How are you doing?"

"I'm dying. How would you feel?" he snapped, coughing again.

"I didn't mean," she said shocked, as she placed a hand on her heart, hurt.

"I didn't mean to snap at you." he said slowly. "I just don't have much to be happy about any more."

"It's okay. I understand." Sora smiled. "My husband has AIDS. I know the feeling."

"Since when are you married?" Joe chuckled.

"Since a year ago." she said showing him the ring. "And we have the most beautiful children. Adopted though." she added quickly.

"That's nice." Joe said, closing his eyes.


Joe's POV


There she was standing in front of me, fussing over my sleeping form. I thought I would never see her again. When she had packed up and left for college, I thought that would be the last time we'd ever speak again. Hell, I'll admit I've made some stupid decisions in my life, and that I could be cold and manipulating, at times. Hey, when I broke up with her, I wasn't exactly Mr. Sensitivity.

I just left her in the park, to wonder what went wrong. But I do have a heart, and I knew I'd only be playing with her heart, if I stayed with her. I'd be playing with too many hearts if I stayed with her. Mine. Izzy's.

This wasn't fair though. I feel like slime. Here I am, thinking only of myself, when I know how much this must be killing her. I did love her, and I knew she loved me once. Seeing me like this can't be easy for her.

And Izzy. God. I love him so much. If there was something I could do to erase his suffering, I would do it in a heartbeat. Here he was, keeping a vigil by my side, when he knows just as well as anyone, I'm not going to make it. This was so complicated! Here I am, just fading away, while the man I love, and the girl I used to love, just watched, and prayed.

I knew better than anyone, that their prayers wouldn't be answered. I was far too gone. Come on! I'm a doctor! I know this type of thing. You know what I find terribly amusing about this situation? The fact that it happened to me. When I became a doctor, I thought I was immune to all the diseases in the world. Naive of me yes, but it was true. Everybody thinks it couldn't possibly happen to them, but then it does. And then, they're left with the initial shock, of knowing what they thought to have believed was a complete lie.

That's how I feel. I thought I could make a difference as a doctor. Help those in need. I never wanted to become another statistic, on the never-ending stats board. Now, all I am is patient 649. The one diagnosed with cancer. That thought alone was enough to make me sick. "Let's give him some room." said Sora. I heard the chair move, so I assumed she got up to leave. "Come on Izzy. I'll take you home."

"I'll be a minute." he said lightly. Almost I didn't hear it!

'Izzy, I hate putting you through this.' I thought, as a tear rolled down my face. He lightly kissed my forehead, which made me feel better. His deep brown hair tickled my nose as he leaned in. I smiled. I smiled for the first time in months. Izzy could always do that to me.

He was always stereotyped as the computer geek, with a mechanical heart. The one person whose feelings could be found on the C drive of his laptop. But I knew the real him. The man that could make me laugh, cry, feel better when things were down. My soul mate. My one true love. The feeling of his hand leaving mind, indicated that he had left. He had placed an extra blanket on me, because he knew I got really cold at night.

The door softly clicked shut, and I knew they had left. I was happy that Izzy was finally going to get some sleep. Insomnia isn't a good thing for anybody. But, also, at the same time, I felt lonely. Probably because I was alone in my room. The only comforting sound I could hear, was the continual drip, from the IV, that was permanently bound to my vein.

For a moment, I could feel the cooling liquid medication, flow into my arm. It parted, as it hit my major arteries, and just burst through my body. It's sad that I have this much time on my hands. That I could image all this happening. I knew for a fact it was physically impossible, but I didn't care. It gave me something to do. Something to occupy my time with. I'm practically paralyzed, so it didn't make much of a difference to me, how much time I waste. I opened my eyes, and glanced at the clock that was next to the wall. It was well past midnight. I should really be getting some sleep. I didn't want to worry Izzy after all.


---


"Izzy. How long does he have left?" Sora asked bleakly.

The younger boy pushed a tear away from his eyes, and sniffled. "A few more days, if he's lucky."

"I'm so sorry Izzy." she said hugging him, and letting him cry on her. Just then, a brown haired man, came running over to them. He was wearing black jeans and a black top. His began gasping for air, trying to fill his lungs with oxygen.

"Tai?" Izzy ventured as he looked up.

"Yeah.... it's....me." he panted, as he placed his hands on his knees, and bent slightly.

"Hey Tai. Nice to see you again." Sora said smiling slightly.

"Hey... Sora." he said gasping again. After a few moments, he had caught his breath, and continued talking. "How's Joe doing?" Izzy shook his head remorsefully. "Oh." Tai said sadly.

"What are you doing here Tai?" Sora asked.

"I came back to Japan, just to visit you guys. When I went over to the Kido residence, they said he was in the hospital. What's wrong with him Iz?"

Izzy swallowed more tears, and told Tai about Joe's medical condition. Tai sat there, shocked by the whole story. "And we used to make fun of his asthma and stuff." he said slowly.

"I know." Sora said. "Who would have thought he was sick from the day we met him?"

"He told me, the only reason he kept quiet about the whole thing, was because he didn't want any of us treating him like a bother. He wanted the prove that he could do things by himself." Izzy said through tears.

"God. Can I see him?" Tai asked.

"Visiting hours are over. They would usually let me stay with him, but I don't think they'll allow us back in right now."

"Fine. I'll be back first thing tomorrow." Tai said getting up. "I don't want to sound self centered, but I want to go find Mimi. I haven't seen her in a while."

"Good luck." Izzy muttered. "Mimi moved to Canada a few years ago."

Tai's face dropped. "At least I can still visit Tk and Matt."

"Tai." Izzy said sadly. "The only place you'll be seeing Tk, is the cemetery. And as for Matt, he moved with Mimi. They got married Tai. Where have you been?"

The brown haired boy's face went several shades whiter. "Mimi and Matt are married... and... and Tk's dead? How is this possible.... I... I don't understand?"

"Tk killed himself two years ago, at this very hospital. He had caught AIDS from this homeless guy, and, well, one night he just hung himself. As for Mimi and Matt, they sorta disappeared from Japan, and a year ago, I got his wedding picture of them. Later, I got two pictures. A baby girl and boy, I'm guessing are their children."

Tai was blown back by this news. He was really sad about everything, and the fact that he hadn't been there, in his friends time of need. "Welcome back Tai." he muttered to himself, as he numbly began walking out the hospital door.


The Next Day


Joe's POV


I guess Izzy must have been really tired. He didn't show up at all today. Probably at home resting. But, Tai and Sora came in to visit me. I hadn't seen Tai in years. Not since Kari's funeral anyway. But still, it was nice seeing him again.

"Here Joe. My daughter Chloe made this for you." she said, as she placed a beaded necklace around my neck. It was a simple thing, made with blue and purple cylindrical beads. It was on a black piece of rope, and was beautiful in itself. "She said it's a get well soon charm. She made one for Carter, and he wears it every day."

"Tell her thank you. I won't take it off." I told her smiling. At that moment, I remembered how perfect life was when you were younger. As a child, you would care about anyone, and everyone, regardless if you knew them or not. Then, when you get older, it's all a matter of trust. You lose that sense of innocence. I didn't like that.

"Izzy said he'll come by later." Tai pipped up. "He told me to give you this." Tai handed me a piece of folded paper, and I read it carefully.

'I'll be there later Joe. I just need a few hours to do some stuff. But I promise, I'll be there. I love you, Izzy.' I clutched onto that paper tightly, not wanting to let go of it.

I felt really sleep at this point. I was wide awake, but my body wanted to sleep. Tai and Sora noticed this, so they said their goodbyes, and left me to rest. When they had left the room, my eyes shut firmly. I was taken to another place, far away from all the suffering I was going through. A dream. I was with Izzy, and we were happy. We were together, and we didn't have to worry about me dying.

I must have been asleep for a while, because I barely noticed the door open, and the nurse come in, with my daily injection. I opened my eyes, as she smiled at me. I weakly smiled back, and waited while she filled the needle with the medication.

The pricking sensation only lasted a few moments. Nothing to worry about, or fear. I never understood why children would get scared of needles. The pain was only for a second, and then it was over.

But then, something happened. As the nurse was pulling away, the needle got caught in the necklace that as given to me. In frustration, the nurse pulled lightly, but that was enough. The whole necklace came undone, and spilled on the floor, scattering the bead everywhere.

At that moment, I knew I was going to die. I mean, really die. I knew I would kick it sooner or later, but the incident just opened my eyes. Told me to stop fighting the inevitable. Stop causing my friends to suffer, wondering when. But I wasn't ready to go yet. I wanted to wait for Izzy. I wanted him to be with me. I wanted the last thing I see, was his face. At least I know I'd die happy.

But you can't stop death. And the sound of a flat line, is enough to make you realize that. A billion bells were ringing over my head, as doctors pilled into my room quickly. They were yelling at each other, calling out for the Defibuators. I could feel the electricity run through me, in an attempt to restart my heart. But it was no use. I was already gone.

Well, you know that phrase. Your whole life flashes before your eyes when you die? I can tell you know it's a load of bullshit. You don't see anything. You feel everything. You feel the love all around you. The concern for you. The pain, the hurt, and the loneliness.

I felt it all in a second, and then nothing. The whole world started going black around me. But it was a good type of black, because immediately after, I saw a blinding light. One so bright, you had to cover your eyes. But there, I felt welcome. I felt at ease, and I was no longer going through the pain I was when I was alive.

It was my dream, except the man I loved wasn't there. And I was thankful for that. I wanted him to never have to come to where I am now, but I knew he soon would.

It was just a feeling that was tugging at the back of my mind. Infinite knowing I guess. Well, whatever it was, I was grateful for it. At least we would soon be together.


2 Days Later


Izzy stood over Joe's grave, crying more than he had ever in his life. He had been to this site, one to many times. First it was Kari. Then Tk, now Joe. They were alined in a row. In the order of death. The way they were lost to the world. "I said I'd be there for you." Izzy sobbed. "But I wasn't. God, I'm so sorry Joe. I wasn't there for you, when you needed me the most."

He felt a hand on his shoulder. It gave him a gentle squeeze, as he turned around. Sora looked down at him, with tears in her eyes. "You tried. You couldn't control the way the world worked. At least now, you know he's not suffering anymore. He's at a higher place now, looking down on us."

Izzy knew she was right. He didn't want to admit it but she was right. A small girl walked over to him. She had red hair, just like Sora's, but she didn't look a thing like her. "I'm sorry for your lose Mr. Izumi." she said, as she gave him a big hug. Izzy looked at Sora, who smiled lovingly at her child.

"Thank you Chloe." Izzy said as he hugged her back. "It means the world to me, knowing that."

"Come on Chlo. Your dad's waiting for you." Sora said, gently pushing the girl away.

"I have to get out of here." Izzy said frantically. Grief was smothering him.

"You want me to give you a lift to your house?" Sora asked.

"No. I'm okay to drive." he whispered, as he walked over to his car. The sun had set, filling the sky with the most beautiful colors imaginable. Izzy took note of this, and smiled to himself. 'He's at a higher place now, looking down on us.' he was reminded of Sora's words. And believed in them. At long last, he knew Joe was happy. Knowing that made him happy, and that was what would get him through the rest of him life.



MORAL: I can't give a moral for this story. I tried, but it just didn't work. But basically the point is, when one of your loved ones dies of a disease, or just dies, realize that they're not suffering anymore, and that they're in a better place, watching down on you. Protecting you, and making sure you don't end up the way they did.

[ part eight ] . [ main page ] . [ guestbook ] . [e-mail ]