Look into my eyes.
And see into my heart.
‘Cause the pain I see in you.
I tearing me apart.

Serial Joe— Should Have Been Mine

~~Tai~~

“Faster Kamiya!” my coach barked from the side line. I was at my now, daily soccer practice. Our team had made to playoffs and my coach would be damned it we lost.

“Faster!” he screamed again. If I could spare oxygen, I would have laughed. It was humanly impossible for me to go any faster! But Daisuke was coming up fast, and he was gaining on me rapidly.

I quickly deaked past the midfield, and was tearing up the center of the field. The ball just seemed to be attached to my foot. There was no way anyone would ever get it off me.

A smile crept up on my face, as I saw one of my fellow shirtless teammate come into perfect scoring position.

I just launched to ball. It soared over Izzy’s head, as he scrambled madly to get it.

Something hit me then. “Don’t touch it!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. My throat was chaffed from yelling so loud.

But my warning came to late. He hit the ball, and the deafening whistle from my coach was heard ringing through the school. “Offside.” I muttered, as I tried to slow down.

My attempt was useless. Me, being the, oh so graceful guy I am, tripped over my feet, and I went sprawling through the air.

I was past the goalie’s net, so I knew I wouldn’t hit one of my players. Too bad people walk near there.

I collided head first with someone. A girl. I saw her books scatter everywhere. Papers went flying, as her friends rushed to pick them up. “Ow.” she moaned.

“Oh man. I’m so sorry!” I said looking at her. I would have apologized more, but the words were caught in my throat. All I could do was stare at her.

She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Her dyed pink hair was cascading over her shoulders, and pieces of it, was stuck to my sweating body.

She smiled at me lightly, revealing a sparkling white smile, which made my stomach do flip flops. “Do you mind getting off me?” she said laughing slightly. Her eyes that were a deep maroon shone.

I did mind actually. I didn’t want to move. I was perfectly comfortable. But I guess having a perspiring, shirtless guy draped over you, wasn’t exactly the most comfortable thing on earth. It probably didn’t look very good either.

“Sorry.” I muttered again, as a bright crimson blush invaded my face. I hated it when I blushed. My face would burn up, and according to Matt, I looked like a clown.

I heard the mysterious girl gasp slightly, as I stood up. She turned a little red as well, and averted her gaze from my chest.

“I should be going now.” she said quickly, as she grabbed her books, and joined her friends.

“Wait!” I cried desperately. I didn’t want her to go so soon. I wanted her to stay for a while.

She turned around. Her unnaturally colored hair flew gracefully around her. “Yeah.” she said breathlessly.

“See you around?” I said, trying my best to act cool. I had no clue how Matt could pull it off all the time. My heart was racing at an abnormal rate.

“Sure.” she smiled again. I went weak at the knees.

“Bye.” I waved goofily. She waved back, as she walked over to the cheerleading bleachers with the group she was with. I recognized one of the girls.

Alissa. She was the head cheerleader. I also knew that she had the biggest crush on me.

Matt would always tease me about her, saying how she was so obsessed, she has a shrine of me in her room.

Oh corse, I would always have an instant comeback, because of the long line of girls that would pass out as soon as we walked by.

I had to admit, that Matt and I were the two most sought after guys, in all of Odiaba High. This pissed off a few of the other guys, but hey! When you got it, you got it!

I felt a stern hand on my shoulder that practically spun me around. I was so shocked. I fell back. “Coach!” I said quickly. I almost forgot I was in the middle of a practice.

“Sorry, if our little scrimmage got in the way of your personal life Kamiya, but we actually have some guys that wanna do well in the game! And we can’t do that when the captain is in la-la land!” he hissed.

I brushed off a few pellets of spit that hit my face, and stood up. “Sorry. I’ll concentrate harder from now on.” I said obediently. The coaches lap dog.

He turned face, and stormed off to the field again. He started yelling orders out, to the team with shirts on.

I could see the painful look on Daisuke’s face, as he, and his whole squad began running up and down the field. As they hit the center line, they sprinted back, then continued to run up the field.

“Suicides.” I groaned. I got a bunch of dirty looks from the guys, as they passed me. Daisuke didn’t even look at me.

‘Great,’ I though. ‘my teams mad at me. Could this get any better?’

“Today Kamiya!” the coach ranted again. I quickly dashed off, so my team didn’t get in any more trouble.

But as I was running back, I saw the face of the girl I had crashed into. Her eyes were so familiar to me, that it was driving me crazy. I knew I had seen her before.

Her voice was new to me, or maybe it was just forgotten? I didn’t know. But I mentally hit myself for not getting her name. Little did I know, her name would be the least of my worries.



~~Mimi~~



“How was that hunk?” my friend Alexis asked. “He was gorgeous!”

“He is cute isn’t he.” I said sadly. I wish I could have told him who I was then, but something inside me, told me to wait.

“Cute?” she snapped angrily. “Mimi, let’s just say, that boy can fall on me any day!”

We all laughed. Alexis was like this all the time. Every time she saw a cute guy, she would go crazy.

“I’m serious!” she said. “He is the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen!” she said, as she waved her hand in front of her face. “Did you see that body? Crap! I only thought artists could chisel something that perfect!”

“I know!” Mary-Beth added. “Didn’t it make you just wanna jump him?!” she said excitedly. “Man. I envy you Mim’s.” she said looking at the sky. “If I were you, I wouldn’t have let that cupcake get away!”

“Mary-Beth!” I shouted embarrassed. They did this every day. I would always joke along with them, but this time, it was different.

I knew the guy. I kissed him. I loved him. He didn’t deserve to be picked apart and taunted by my friends.

“That, my friends,” Alissa said happily, “is Tai Kamiya. The man that makes my world go round.”

“You date him?” Alexis said jealously. My heart stopped for a minute.

“No. Not yet anyway.” she said slyly. “I’ve had my eye on him for a few years now.”

I felt like laughing in her face. It wouldn’t have been the nicest thing to do, but it was so tempting! I just wanted to blurt out my past with Tai.

Describe how his kisses made me dizzy, or how utterly romantic he could be. Tai was the perfect boyfriend. He really was. Everything he did, he did out of love for me, and that’s why I loved him.

But I always loved Matt. Tai knew that, but he still gave his whole heart to me. I felt like slime when I broke up with him. But he understood. And that’s what made the pain at least a hundred times more painful.

“So Mimi. What did it feel like to have that babe all over you?” Mary-Beth said coyly. “His body pressed close to yours. Those bedroom eyes of his, gazing into yours. His sexy lips hovering inches above yours. His...”

“Enough!” I screamed. My cheeks were burning hot. “Just shut up!” I cried again, as I walked past them violently.

“How spit in her foundation?” Alissa said mockingly, as she carelessly brushed a piece of her blond hair away from her face.

None of them even bothered coming after me. ‘Some friends.’ I thought bitterly.

I found a nice bench to sit down on, and cry. I cried my eyes out. All the talk about Tai, dredged up memories, I tried so hard to forget.

They just kept reminding me, of how badly I used to need him. He was exactly like a drug. Addictive.

I sighed, in between my sobs. I kept reminding myself of who perfect my life would have been, if I had fallen in love with Tai, and only Tai. I would have had it all then.

I knew I was eluding myself. I need Matt in my life. Matt kept my whole world up, and he still does. Even now, three years later, I still love him to death.

But there was this pulling in my heart, pulling me toward Tai. But I couldn’t put him through that again. I wouldn’t even put my most despised enemy through that. It was just too cruel.

I cried again. I kept telling myself to stop, but my body wouldn’t listen. Someone placed a hand on my shoulder. I half expected to see Mary-Beth, or Alexis there, but instead there was a handsome boy staring me in the eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked. The bright azure eyes shone with concern. It I didn’t know any better, I would have sworn it was Matt. But he was too young. “My name’s Takeru.” he said friendly, as he sat down next to me.

Takeru. The named raced through my mind. “Tk?” I whispered unsure.

“I don’t go by that any more.” he said a little annoyed.

“Tk!” I practically yelled, as I threw my arms around the boy. He was obviously startled, but he was a gentleman, and lightly pushed me off.

“Do I know you?” he said fearfully. He probably thought I was going kidnap him or something.

“It’s me! Mimi!” I said happily. I couldn’t believe he didn’t recognize me. I was really ticked off at him for that, but then I realized something. My hair.

“Mimi!” he exploded. He stuttered a few words that I couldn’t exactly make out. I was guessing he didn’t know what he was saying either.

But I had a good clue what he was thinking. ‘How do I tell Matt?’



~~Tai~~



“Get outta my face!” our coach hollered, as he walked off the field, into the school.

“We love you too.” Daisuke said sarcastically. We all laughed. Our coach was never happy with us. We would probably have to win the World Cup, to get his approval.

I grabbed a towel out of my massive bag, and began drying myself off. But first, I took my water-bottle, and emptied the contents on my head.

“Instant shower.” Izzy joked, as he pulled of his shirt, and grabbed a clean, dry one.

“Whatever.” I smiled. I saw a girl waving at me, and I instantly broke out into a smile. “Kari!” I yelled loud enough, so she could hear.

Daisuke’s head instantly shot up, and darted around eagerly, until he spotted her walking over to me.

I felt bad for the kid. He really liked her, but he knew just as well as I did, that she was totally in love with Tk.

“Hey Tai.” she said happily. “How’s it going?”

“Okay. How about you? Coming to my big game?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” she said smiling. I had to admit. Even thought she could be a big pain in my butt, she was the best little sister a guy could ask for.

“Oh, remember, I’m sleeping at Jennie’s house tonight.” she said repetitively. She had only told me a billion times. “Oh, and Tk and I are going to the party tomorrow, so tell mom I’ll be home a little late.” she added quickly.

My brotherly instincts took over automatically. “You and Tk. As in, Tk Takaishi? Matt’s brother?”

“Is there any other?” she said laughing at my overprotectiveness.

“Kari.” I tried to explain without sounding like a parent. “I know what goes on at those parties, and I don’t want you involved in any of it!”

“Geez, mom.” she said blowing away a piece of her hair, ticked off. “Do you really think I’m that stupid?” she said coyly, as she licked her bottom lip seductively.

“Kari!” I shouted in surprised.

She seemed to have ignored my outburst. She tilted her head slightly, as she

gazed at me thoroughly. “You know, I’ve live with you my whole life, but I’ve never noticed how nicely you’re built.” she said as she traced her finger up my chest.

“Kari!” I shouted again, as I jumped back clutching my towel protectively. I felt really stupid, because she was my sister, but still, I was creeped out.

“Almost as nicely as Tk.” she said walking back a few steps smirking.

By habit, I was going to yell out her name again, but something else came out. “You’ve seen Tk shirtless!” I was ready to kill him. Tk better pray that I don’t see him for the next few years, or he’s a dead man.

“Bye-bye Tai.” Kari said, as she waved, and left me to boil in my anger. When she started to laugh, I realized she was joking. ‘You’re gonna kill me one day.’ I thought, as I watched her bounce off to Tk’s side.

She instantly linked arms with him, and he smiled wide. They began walking toward the school, hand in hand.

I was happy for her. She had found someone that cares about her. Izzy joined my side.

“Nice couple hun?” he said as he took a big sip of his orange Powerade.

“Just keep walking Tk.” I said threateningly, which made Izzy laugh.

“Chill out Tai. They’re like what? 13? 14?” Izzy said, trying to reason.

But, as if they had been listening to us, Tk lowered his head, and kissed her. Right in front of me. ‘Calm down Tai.’ I told myself. ‘It’s Tk. You’ve known him a long time.’ I subconsciously crushed my flimsy water-bottle.

Izzy began to snicker. “3, 2, 1 blastoff!” he said laughing full out now.

“Shut up.” I said throwing my towel at him. He deflected it easily. “I’m taking a shower. Don’t wait up for me.”

“Whatever. My place 7:00. Everyone’s gonna be there.” he said as he began walking off.

Tk and Kari passed by him, as Izzy punched his shoulder lightly. It was a funny sight though, because Tk was now so much taller than Izzy, that he barely reached his shoulder.

They walked through the doors to our school, and split up. My watch beeped in my bag.

School was now over. I quickly grabbed my stuff, and shoved on a shirt and walked into the school.

I was silently praising the beauty of the free period, but realized I had been working even harder, than if I had been in a class. ‘Whatever.’ I thought. At last this way, I was working on my tan.



~~Matt~~



They cornered me at my locker, their High-pitched giggles giving away their presence easily. "Oh Matt!" one of the group of girls stepped forward, eyes wide.

"I just love your new song!"

Another one, I wasn't sure who she was, they all sounded the same, chimed in. "You have like the most amazing voice! Are you gonna be playing tomorrow?"

I gave them all an enigmatic smile, feeling generous. Because it was Friday, and so I was in a good mood. "Thanks for the compliments," I said smoothly "but no, I'm not playing tomorrow. The huge soccer game playoffs, remember?"

They were all crowding around me like a group of sharks, but in the edge of their circle I glimpsed Tk trying to get through. He was rolling his eyes at me. I also spotted Tai walking nonchalantly down the hall toward his locker and grinned.

"Oh, girls! Speaking of soccer, look, there's Tai Kamiya! The star player

himself!"

The reaction was instantaneous and rewarding. Tai shot me a nasty look as he got swamped by a mob of giggling admirers, but I just smirked. Hey, whatever works.

"Oh. My. God!" Tk gasped in a dead_on imitation of the girls, "it's like Matt Ishida! Can I like get your like autograph?!"

"I wouldn't be talking, lil' bro," I replied easily, "after all, looks like Mr. Star Basketball Player's got his own fan-club."

I was teasing him but it kinda made me feel protective toward him too. How he had grown up so fast and so soon, and I wondered absently if Mom had given him the whole birds_and_the_bees talk yet.

"Oh yeah," Takeru grinned, as if reading my thoughts. "Right. So anyway, Matt, I risked death by suffocation to tell you that I don't need a ride home tomorrow."

"Oh?" I asked, arching an eyebrow. "Any particular reason?"

Takeru actually looked slightly embarrassed. "Um, yeah. Me and Kari are gonna hang out for a bit, then catch the game. Then there's a party afterwards so we'll probably go make an appearance or something."

He stopped, giving me a searching look. My outgoing little brother actually looked hesitant and unsure which made me instantly suspicious.

"Come on," I said, trying to lighten the mood. "Don't tell me you're actually going on a date with Kari?"

Takeru grimaced. "Um, actually I am. But there's something else."

I bit back the lecture that instantly sprang to my lips. Chill out. I mentally berated myself. Takeru's 13 years old. I think he can handle a date. Instead, I gave him a challenging smile. "Shoot."

"Okay," he replied reluctantly, taking a deep breath. "Um, yeah Mimi's back."

I blinked, taken aback and staring wide-eyed as the words had time to sink into my reeling mind. Oh God, Mimi. A rush of unnameable emotions threatened to drown me, and all I could think was how desperately I wanted to see her. And yet at the same time, how I just wanted to run away and not deal with it. Finally, I cleared my throat. "Really?"

Takeru nodded, looking concerned. "Yeah. I saw her near the cheerleaders. She wanted me to ask you to meet her at the bench tonight."

I struggled to keep a composed expression on my face, absently wondering if my feelings for her were that transparent or if Takeru was just unusually perceptive.

The bench. Our favorite one in Odaiba Park where I had actually carved our initials. How many countless sunsets had we watched there together, how many memories had we left there like silent ghosts that refused to be buried? "Um. Yeah, thanks for telling me," I said, pleased at the steadiness in my voice. I forced a smile.

"Anyway, don't do anything stupid at the party, like drink or, well, y'know or Mom's gonna kill me, okay?"

He looked like he was going to say something else about Mimi but wisely dropped it.

"Thanks Matt," he said casually. "See ya later."

"Hold on!" I yelled after him. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

He stopped, giving me a solemn look. "Oh, right. Condoms!"

I stared at him, then grinned. "Brat. No, take my cell phone in case." I tossed it to him and watched him leave with a wave.

It was only after he had disappeared around the corner that I slammed my locker shut with a lot more force than necessary. I leaned against the cool metal of the door and closed my eyes wearily. God, how long had it been? Three years?

Three years since I had been given my memories back, since me and Mimi had reached some kind of peace in our relationship. I could still recall with a terrible clarity the day we had met in her rose garden.

I had known right then and there that I loved her, would always love her, to the point of pain really, and then we had kissed and it had felt so wonderful, so right, but none of us could forget the fact that it was so fragile.

She was moving to America at the insistence of her parents who felt that she had been through too much and needed a fresh start in life. We had both agreed to not talk for a while, because it would really cause unnecessary pain, and I think we both managed to pretend we were happy and at peace, but each night I had fought back tears because I wondered if we would ever see each other again?

And now, after so many nights of hopeless wishing, I guess she was back. Mimi Tachikawa. Just thinking the name twisted my heart, and I couldn't help laughing softly, surprised at my own bitterness. I guess they were right, whoever said you should be careful what you wish for because it damn well might come true...



~~Mimi~~



I was being a coward. I could admit that freely because honestly it was better than the alternative. Which was actually seeing him, coming face to face with him, and then saying what?

I know we've been through a lot, maybe more than was really fair, but can we try again because, because I love you.

I shook my head, strands of hair sliding across my face. Stepping into Odaiba High had been bad enough, I thought, as I drank in the silent, empty halls and rows of gleaming lockers.

It had been a full three years since I had been here, and yet it felt like I had never left. I wondered if that was a good or bad thing. With a sigh, I uncurled my fingers from the picture I was holding and glanced at it, unable to suppress a sad smile.

It was a photo of us, taken on my birthday, I guess in happier times, and I had memorized his features by heart. The beautiful azure eyes, the smile that was halfway between a real one and a smirk, the disheveled blonde hair that I had loved to run my fingers through.

"Matt Ishida," I whispered, and the fact that just saying his name hurt was good evidence that maybe the peace I thought I had achieved was just an illusion. But I had forced myself to do it, to ask him to meet me at our old hideaway. Even now, I couldn't really explain to myself what had possessed me to open old wounds, to resurrect our demons.

I laughed self-deprecatingly, telling myself I was in denial. Because I did know why I had asked him to meet me. I loved Matt, plain and simple. Three years could never change that. Not when I had given my heart and soul to him, my first love.

It disappointed me, a little, to realize I hadn't changed as much as I had led myself to believe. But at the same time, it made me smile because maybe, just maybe, that meant our love was right.





~~Matt~~



The park had a strange beauty at night, familiar and yet eerily transient, as if a reminder that all things were sadly fleeting. Or maybe that was just the melancholy in me speaking. I blew a sigh and stuffed my cold fingers into my pockets, resisting the urge to glance at my watch again. What if she didn't come? What if she decided it was better that we don't talk? I bit my lip, wondering if I was doing the right thing. After three long years of alternately hoping and letting go, maybe there was no such given relief as the right thing.

"Matt," I heard her soft footstep before she spoke, and just hearing her say my name sent chills up my spine. She was standing in a pool of silvery moonlight,

golden brown eyes shadowed and hesitant.

I opened my mouth, swallowed, and tried again. "Your hair!" I managed.

"It's… it's pink."

She giggled, a nervous sound, but it broke the tension and we both started laughing. "Hug?" she ventured.

I opened my arms to her and she stepped forward. I pulled her close, breathing in the clean scent of her hair, enjoying the familiar warmth of her body next to mine. And suddenly it seemed like the past three years had only been three seconds and we were still madly in love and nothing had changed. Like nothing had come between us.

"God, I missed you," I choked out.

Her voice was muffled against my shirt but the emotions underneath it were painfully clear.

"I missed you too, Matt. More than anything. I'm sorry I didn't call or write."

I shook my head. "My fault too," I murmured. She had pulled back a little and was giving me a searching look. She tilted her head thoughtfully and gave me a mischievous smile.

"So, I heard your band's quite popular around the school. Especially the lead singer."

"Oh, really?" I replied archly. "Don't believe everything you hear."

"Like you and Jun are dating?" Mimi said quickly. Her tone was teasing but she wasn't meeting my eyes.

"Um, not that I know of," I answered. I don't know why, but I suddenly blurted out, "So have you, uh, talked to Tai yet?"

I felt her stiffen in my arms. "Matt," she said quietly, slightly accusing.

"Sorry," I mumbled, feeling a little hurt, and then annoyed because of it. God, I did not want to get dragged into that mess again. Not in a million lifetimes.

"Shut up, Matt!"

Mimi didn't let me finish. In one swift movement, she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. Shock and surprise ran through my body, but I couldn't help responding. It had been so long since I had felt her lips against mine and the soft feel of them brought back emotions I had thought were long suppressed. "I love you, Matt," she whispered.

I froze. The words hitting me like a physical blow. "W-What?" I breathed.

She stepped back, raking tangled hair away from her face. I saw tears sparkling in her eyes and knew that had been the wrong thing to say. "Are you so surprised?" she said softly. "I mean, I know we both agreed it would be better to let go, with me moving to America and everything." She shrugged, giving a little laugh that was tinged with bitterness.

"I thought I had, too. I really did. But seeing you, and just being reminded of everything that we had together."

"God, Mimi," I said, the words scraping my throat raw, "I broke your heart."

"It doesn't matter," she said fiercely, giving me a beseeching look. "The blame's mine too. And anyway," she finished quietly, "my heart was always yours."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It was the most beautiful thing, and yet, it just wasn't right. "Mimi, you know that I… I love you too," I said, silently hating myself but forcing the words out, "but I don't know if… if we can, well, be together again."

There was a moment of terrible silence, and then she nodded, face composed. It scared me a little that she wasn't crying, that her eyes seemed so hopeless. "You're right," she said, so softly I had to strain to hear her, "I'm sorry. I think I should go."

"Wait…" I began, but she had already turned and started walking away, the cold autumn wind picking up strands of her hair. I shivered, fighting back tears.

There were a million things I wanted to say to her. How much I loved her. How much it had killed me to see her move away, and how I had missed her every day. How hard it had been to pick up the pieces and move on, and yet, wasn't it better that we weren't together now? Because we had been able to say goodbye with love and understanding and now, I didn't want our love to turn into hate, something it could so easily do if we were once again torn apart by misunderstanding and fear.

I sighed wearily, casting a despairing glance at the initials carved into the dull wood of the bench. They were slightly faded now, as if worn away by the rain and snow. Maybe I was just deluding myself. Maybe I wasn't afraid. "Damn it," I hissed angrily, fists clenched. I had thought my old wounds had scarred over and begun to heal, but now I knew I was wrong. Because they were open and bleeding like hell.



~~Tai~~



I had been walking over town that night. I had just seen the movie X-Men by myself, and I realized I had a few hours to kill.

I stopped by the small coffee shop that Alissa’s dad ran. She was sitting at the counter, drinking a cappuccino, and doing her algebra homework.

Her head shot up, as she turned and faced me. “Tai!” she said happily. “Sit down.” she said, motioning toward the chair next to her.

I smiled warmly at her. “Thanks.” I sat down, and looked at her. Even I had to admit. She looked really cute tonight.

“You want something?” she said, as she rolled up the sleeve of her iced green sweater.

“I was going to order a coffee,” I said, but she had already beat me to it. She reached over the clean black counter, and grabbed a large mug from the rack.

“Enjoy.” she said as she grabbed the pot, and filled my mug.

“Thanks.” I said again. “How much do I owe you?”

“How about one date?” she said smiling. She crossed her long legs, still grinning.

“You got yourself a date!” I said happily. “What would a Danish cost me?” “Oh, how about a kiss?” she said bargaining.

“I can live with that.” I said flirtily, as I leaned in, and kissed her softly on the lips. I pulled away a second later.

But that was all it took. My head was swimming. It had been so long since I had kissed anyone. I don’t even know what possessed me to do it. I wasn’t that hungry.

I glanced into her beautiful deep green eyes, as she gazed back at me. “Wow.” she said exasperated.

I liked the way this felt. Alissa was a great girl. Sweet, smart, pretty, popular. I brushed a piece of her hair away from her eyes, and gently touched her cheek.

She shivered at my touch, hopefully not in fear. But I didn’t care. I just went for it. I kissed her again.

She responded, just I had hoped. We stayed like that, for a little while. Time was at an absence for me. But all I could think about was Mimi.

She was the last person I had kissed like this. She was the last person I ever wanted to kiss. ‘Stop it Tai.’ I told myself sternly. ‘She’s gone. She loves Matt. She chose him.’

But her face still haunted my mind. The girl with the pink hair then entered my thoughts. I kept seeing her beautiful smile. Then, it hit me.

“Mimi!” I shouted out involuntarily. It had to be the worst time for an epiphany, cause I was still kissing Alissa.

She pushed me hard. So hard, I almost fell off my chair. I was surprised a cheerleader had that much strength.

“Jerk!” she shouted, as she grabbed my coffee, and doused my face and body with the scorching liquid.

“Ow!” I cried as the coffee hit me. I was lucky the shop wasn’t crowded. In fact, we were the only two people there.

“I thought you were a decent guy Tai!” Alissa screamed at me. “Boy. Was I ever wrong.”

“No! It’s not what you think!” I said through my gritted teeth. My stomach was on fire.

“Shut up!” she screamed. “Get out!” she said pointing to the door.

“Alissa...” I tried to explain.

“Out!” she screamed again, as she ran off the back of the shop. She was crying madly.

“Great!” I said slamming my hands down on the counter. “I just ruined any chance I had with Alissa.”

I looked back at the door she had existed, and hope she would come out again, so I could explain.

But when she didn’t come out, I gave up, and walked out of the store, before he dad came out with a shot gun or something.

I took a walk in Odaiba Park. I don’t know why. Something just told me to go there.

I silently passed by a group of older people playing chess by lamplight. They were like statues, just staring at the board. I thought they were dead, but one moved his knight, and knocked off one of the other player’s bishop.

I smiled at them, and continued walking. I couldn’t stop thinking about Alissa. I felt so bad about what I had done.

Thank God there was school tomorrow. I could find her, and tell her it was a mistake. I really wanted to go out with her. She made me feel better about myself. My hands would sweat every time I was near her lately.

And that kiss. Man. That kiss was unbelievable. I touched my bottom lip, reminiscing about the awesome kiss we had shared minutes ago.

I passed the lake, and made it half way to my apartment. On my way home, I heard a soft crying. It was coming from a girl, and it wasn’t far away.

“Hello?” I called out. My voice echoed in the night. The crying instantly stopped.

Even in the darkness of the night, I saw a wild flash of pink. “Who’s there?” I said a little softer.



~~Mimi~~



There we were. I was sitting on the bench, tracing the small, engraved initials with my finger. I was crying my eyes out, over the newly acquired information I had just received.

Matt didn’t want to be in a relationship with me. He didn’t want to be together anymore. I was just about to give up all hope, until I heard his voice.

“Tai?” I whispered weakly. My voice barely audible.

“Mimi?” I heard him say, as he approached me from the shadows. The dim lamps over head were the only source of light. It was a moonless night.

I looked at him. His pale blue shirt had a large splash of brown staining it, and his face looked a little red. But he still looked handsome. More handsome than I had ever seen him before.

“Mimi.” he repeated again. This time, he broke out in a huge smile, and scooped me up in his arms. He pulled me close to him, hugging me as he trembled. “It’s really you! You’re back!” he said, his voice shaken.

“Yeah.” I sniffed sadly. He broke away from me, and looked at me. I purposely hid my face, so he didn’t see my tear stained cheeks.

But that didn’t stop him. He took his index finger, and brought my head up to meet his. Just like he always did.

He took his thumbs, and brushed away the tears, that had just escaped my eyes. He just stood there, scanning my face, holding my head.

“Mimi.” he breathed again. I could feel his warm breath on my face. I had almost forgotten how good I used to feel when he held me.

I didn’t want to look him straight in the eye at this particular moment. But he kept his gaze locked on mine, which made me freeze on the spot.

Something Mary-Beth had said earlier that day popped into my mind. ‘How did it feel to have those bedroom eyes of his gazing into yours?’ I could answer her now. It felt absolutely wonderful.

Every part of my body began tingling, as his face lowered. I shut my eyes, taking it all in.

Our lips met. The tingling sensation exploded inside me. If he hadn’t been holding me, I would have collapsed.

“Mimi.” he muttered, as he kissed me again.

“Tai...” I said. The word cut through my throat like a razor. I had no clue I could miss him this much.

But through all our happiness, I felt horrible. Matt had just told me off, and I was rebounding to Tai. Again. This wasn’t right. I swore to myself, I wouldn’t do this to either of them, when I came back.

But I didn’t do it intentionally. It just happened. Tai broke away from me, and examined every angle of my face, as if he was memorizing it. Like I did with Matt.

“Tai, please,” I said breaking out of his shielding hold, and turning away from him.

His kiss was still burning on my mouth like fire. He spun me around and kissed me again extinguishing the heat. I didn’t even bother trying to stop him. I didn’t want to.

Hey! Why bother trying to stop something you don’t want to stop?



~~Tai~~



She was back. Back in my life. I couldn’t believe it. All memories of Alissa were long lost and forgotten. I had Mimi again. The one girl I loved so much. The one I never stopped loving.

We sat the whole night at the bench, talking about nothing in particular. She even told me why she had come back. To rekindle her relationship with Matt.

Sure, I was jealous. I was as jealous as hell! But it reminded me of the old times. Hell, I was even more pissed at him. I could have killed him with my bare hands, if he was within strangling distance.

He managed to hurt her twice, in the same way. And she came crying over to their bench and cried. ‘Their bench.’ I thought sadly. But then something hit me. There was no ‘them’ anymore. They were over. Finished. Caput.

I should stop thinking about it. I had us to think about now. I loved this spot. In fact, this is the exact same spot we shared our first kiss. And I prayed, oh I prayed it wouldn’t be the last.

“Mimi,” I said as I passed my hand through her silky strands of hair, “I still love you. I always have, and I always will.” I told her truthfully.

“I know.” she said meekly. I knew she was trying to find a way to let me down easily, but I didn’t give her time to answer.

“I don’t expect you answer me,” I said seriously. “I just thought you should know how I feel.”

“Thank you.” she said squeezing my hand. “I care about you so much, it’s killing me.”



~~Mimi~~



“You wanna grab a bit to eat?” he asked. The sun was just rising, and Odaiba Park was filled with light.

“Yeah.” I said happily. “I’d love to.” he held out his hand. I grabbed his hand firmly, as he pulled me up, into his arms.

“What are you doing?” I laughed. His brown hair was brushing lightly across my face.

“Nothin’.” he replied cutely, as he kissed me again. He pulled away quickly, and spun me around wildly. I laughed out loud, as he suddenly stopped, and flung me into his arms, and began carrying me.

“I can walk Tai.” I said a bit stubbornly.

“I know.” he said carelessly, as he jumped over a tree root. I screamed as we hit the ground. “Scared?” he said as he continued walking.

“Not with you to protect me.” I said truthfully, as I kissed his forehead. He smiled at me joyfully, as he let me down. “I have a feeling. This time it’s going to be different.” I told him.

“I hope so.” he said wrapping his arm around my waist.



~~Matt~~



I stepped outside, breathing in the crisp autumn air with a sigh of relief. The school lawn was covered with upper-class students who had laid claim to the better eating areas. I had my guitar with me, because music had always been an outlet for me when in turmoil, and today definitely qualified. I caught a glimpse of Sora, Joe, and Izzy sitting together but just waved, wanting to be alone right now. I didn't think I could take their pitying glances, their attempts at asking if I was all right because of Tai and Mimi dating.

And then I saw them. They were sitting together on one of the benches, holding hands and laughing over some joke. The familiar sweet ring of Mimi's laughter made me catch my breath. They looked so happy together. All right, so I was jealous. Really jealous!

I coolly walked past them, me and Tai exchanging venomous glances. I think he was pissed at me for hurting Mimi. That was fine, because I was pissed at him too, for having Mimi. But at the same time, I had to admire him for having the courage to make that choice, for giving himself and Mimi another chance even after he had been crushed by Mimi breaking up with him. For me, I had to admit silently. Maybe I was a coward, then. Because just seeing her, the familiar glint of sunlight on her golden-brown hair, the way she had of tilting her head when she laughed…

It made me realize something. That I loved her, so hopelessly, and I had been a real jerk for brushing her off. Maybe that was the whole point of love. The more it hurts, the better it is, or something like that.

Feeling a little more than ready to indulge in a self-pity session, I slumped down underneath a tree and took out my guitar. The cool wood felt comforting under my fingers and I started strumming idle notes, determinedly ignoring Mimi's wistful glances in my direction.

"Hi Matt!" a cheerful voice interrupted me from my reverie, and I looked up, surprised.

"Oh, hey Jun," I replied, forcing a smile as Daisuke's sister took a seat next to me. She was wearing a yellow tank-top and jean shorts, dark brown hair brushed back into a ponytail.

Not to be modest or anything, but I knew she had a huge crush on me. She was not so subtly inching a little closer to me, giving me a sympathetic smile. "You look kinda down?" she said.

I shrugged. "Huh? Whaddya mean?"

She patted my hand. "Look, Matt, everyone knows about you and Mimi. And

Tai."

I couldn't help but throw a glance in Mimi and Tai's direction. Tai's back was to me but Mimi was actually giving me and Jun a strange look. Slightly puzzled, sad, and… jealous? Or was that just wishful thinking on my part? Still, I couldn't help myself and gave Jun a charming smile. "Thanks for the concern, Jun."

She smiled back brightly. "Honestly, Matt, I don't know how anyone could reject you."

"Um, thanks, I think," I replied, not sure whether to be flattered or annoyed. 'Reject' was such a strong word.

Jun seemed oblivious. "So, are you going to the soccer game tonight?"

Tai's big soccer game. Me and Tai within thirty feet of each other. Not a pretty thought. I almost said 'no' but then stopped. Mimi would be there, with the rest of the cheerleaders. Maybe, just maybe, I could have a chance to talk with her. I needed to see Mimi, needed to ask her for forgiveness, and then what? "Yeah, I guess I am," I said, smiling. "Wanna go together?"

"Yeah!" Jun shouted delightedly, eyes shining. "You bet!"

"Okay, I'll pick you up at 7 then," I said nonchalantly.

Jun nodded enthusiastically. "Sure thing. Look, I gotta run, so I'll catch you later." She gave me a quick hug and then ran off. I couldn't help smirking a little and looked up to see what Tai and Mimi's reactions were, but they were gone.

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