I’m so empty and ugly.
Dirty and ashamed.
But I’ll never say I’m sorry.
Never take the blame.
I will teach you to hate me.

J Englishman-- Fade Ken’s POV


“Let me go!” the brunette snapped viciously, struggling mercilessly as he tried to pull away from my vise like grip on his arms. The only thing he was doing, was making it more painful for himself.

“Shut up.” I snarled whipping his slightly limp body into a room I had taken the liberty of preparing for his arrival. The second weight was pressed upon his leg, he screamed and hit the ground in a painful pile. Striding over to him, I grabbed the collar of his jacket and pulled it toward me.

“Get off me!” he commanded, managing to get out of the hold I held on him. I dropped him to the ground like a dead weight and he grunted as his head collided with the marble floor.

“I wouldn’t be ordering me around if I were you!” I snapped, twisting his body around so he was gazing up into my eyes. My sever expression lightened for a brief moment as my amethyst eyes fell upon the bearer of Courage and Friendship. He had such glorious eyes…

“If you’re going to kill me then get it over with.” He stated flatly, already assuming the worst. I tisked at him disappointedly.

“Now if I did that, I’d lose all the fun of torturing you.” I smirked as I lowered my lips to his ear. “Again.”

He shuddered involuntarily as I let go of him, leaving him in the pile of contorted flesh he was trying to free himself from. I stopped in mid stride, glancing over at the captured child as he carefully placed his swollen leg out, wincing ever so slightly as he did so.

Walking out of his room, a pang violently kicked me in the chest. My hand immediately grasped at the momentary flash of pain. Twisting my head around slowly, I glimpsed over at Daisuke, catching the handsome brunette in one of his more magnificent moments.

I smirked icily as I slammed the door shut. The warmth I had been feeling disappearing instantaneously.

Tk’s POV

I don’t even know why I came to school. The previous days seemed to be a faint memory to me, as if it had happened years before. But the dull ache in my heart seemed just as strong as anything. Daisuke was gone…The Digimon Emperor took him and I would never see him again.

But what tortured me even more was the fact that there was a rumor that the leader of the Digidestined was dead. After I heard that, I didn’t even cry. Crying was just too painful. I kept everything bottled up inside me and when I got home, I would burst.

All I had now was faith. A faith that he wasn’t really dead and that he would one day come back to me. But I should have learned by now that when you have too much faith in something, it is bound to hurt you. Too much faith in anything will suck you dry.

As soon as the bell rang and school was over, I shuffled wordlessly through the halls. Everyone could see I was in some type of grief, but I refused to answer any of their questions. I swear, if I got one more ‘are you okay?’ I would go ballistic. How would you feel if the one person you loved was ripped from your arms and killed?

People, after a while, got the hint that I didn’t want to talk, or be bothered so they backed away from me as I passed by them. I appreciated this more than I was letting on though. The only reason I was even in school was because if I spent one more minute in my apartment with all his things I would have done something I would have regretted.

I shut my eyes, trying my best to block out everyone’s whispers as I made my way to the computer lab. The group was having a meeting here today. I needed to do something to get my mind off Daisuke. But I was in for the shock of my life as I approached to door. Everyone was already inside, whispering lightly.

“Are you serious! No way!” I heard Sora’s motherly voice gasp.

“It’s true. He’s the Emperor. Ken Ichijouji’s the Digimon Emperor!” Kari sighed deeply. At that very instant, my world seemed to stop turning. The book I was holding in my hands tumbled to the ground, clattering loudly as everyone’s heads snapped around.

My hands were trembling as I clutched onto the doorframe trying not to fall into a boneless heap. A torrent of emotions were running through my head quicker than I could process them. But finally, the only thing that I thought of was vengeance. A blinding vengeance that seemed to control my body instantly.

I turned on my heel, having every intention of finding Ken and killing him. Miyako screamed out for me as she ran out, grabbing onto my arm tightly. Without even trying I tore myself away from her. “Tk where are you going?”

“To find someone.” I spat venomously. She knew she couldn’t talk sense into me at a time like this and she muttered something under her breath, which vaguely resembled ‘don’t be stupid.’

I flew by started students, rage burning in my eyes as I violently slammed open the doors charging out like a misguided bull. But I wouldn’t be looking for red. I was going for gray.

“I’ll see you later Ken!” a tall boy with short brown hair called out, waving furiously. It had taken me a while to get to Tomachi and I silently thanked whoever made their school end later than ours.

“I’ll see you later.” He waved back joyfully. As soon as the other boy was out of range, Ken shuddered terribly; looking utterly disgusted with the other human. He sighed deeply, brushing back a fallen strand of his midnight blue hair.

I secretly wondered if his skin would turn that color if I strangled him hard enough. But that little fantasy was shoved on the back-burned as I stealthily walked behind him for a little while. My shadow was playing games with me as I stalked him. It was almost as if it wanted to hurt Ken as much as I did. Then, out of nowhere, he stopped.

“Whatever you’re here to do Digidestined, make it quick. I have plans I need to attend to in the Digital World.” He spoke in that arrogantly cool voice he possessed.

Words seemed to escape me the moment he turned and face me. His cold amethyst eyes piercing into my ice blue ones. “Why?” that was what I wanted to know before I would lunge at him.

“Why not?” he practically yawned. “It’s quite simple Digidestined. Take away the strongest pillar, the whole building crumbles. He sighed deeply for a minute before turning his gaze right back on mine. “He was so much fun to play with. So stubborn, even in his last few minutes of life. Never screamed once, no matter how much I tortured him.”

I fell deathly pale as I quivered unstoppably. My mouth was slightly open, trying to formulate some type of speech, but my entire body was paralyzed.

“Oh yes, he was very much alive when I captured him. That didn’t last long though.” He added in matter-of-factly. “He did tell me quite a few interesting things though.” He chuckled to himself. “Once he was fogged over with pain, he lost control of his mind and spat out anything. Quite a few interesting things about you Takeru.”

That was the first time I heard him say my name. The hate and loathing so visible in every line of his pale face as he shot me a cruel smile, stepping closer to my still form.

“Funny, you say you loved him.” He began, circling me like a shark would its prey. “You claimed you cared for him, but sad to say, the feelings weren’t returned.” His voice dropping several degrees, causing even me to shiver.

“You’re lying.” I stated as a fact. I refused to believe what he was telling me.

“Oh am I?” he laughed merrily. “Well according to him, he never cared about you in any way or form. You were just another body to him, one that he could easily control and manipulate.” He smiled again, his lips pulled into the most sincere curve.

“No…” I stated firmly again, but the confidence just wasn’t there. He hit a nerve and he had known it.

“Like it mattered to you anyway.” He continued. “By the way you treated him, it didn’t look as if you cared about him either. Kind of poetic justice no? You wanted him to care about you, so that when you broke things off, he would go through hell. And you call me a monster.”

That was it. My mind began to functionally work as I tackled him to the ground, punching at that sadistic smile he held. “That’s not true!” I screamed at him. “I loved him! I loved him and you killed him!”

“Wrong Tk!” he spat, pushing me off him with a cleverly timed Judo move. “ You killed him and you’re just too self centered to realize that! Think about this, if you claimed to care for him the way you do, then you could have stopped me. But did you? No! He gave himself up for ‘you’ and the group and that resulted in his death. What was it Tk? Jealousy? Were you so envious that he was chosen for the new leader, even though you were more experienced, that you wished him dead? Well congratulations, your wish was granted. He’s gone and it’s because of you!”

He shoved me back into the brick wall harshly, getting a faint grunt out of me as my still sore back collided with the stone. He picked himself up from the floor, never once taking his eyes off me. “You know what Ken?” I spoke, as he was a fair number of feet away from me. This seemed to spark his curiosity slightly as he turned. “I wish you could be me for just a minute, so you could experience the torment I’m going through right now.” My voice cracked slightly, as I bit down on my lip from crying.

“Yeah and when that day happens, I’ll be sure to kill myself.” He bit, taking a step forward. But he halted suddenly and reached into his bag for something. Turning back around, he whipped the object at me, allowing me to catch it before he spoke. Daisuke’s goggles… “According to my Monocromon, he was a tasty snack.”

And if I already hadn’t been crying, I sure as hell was now. A long crack was across the left side and there was a faint trace of red highlighting the edges. My entire body buckled as I fell, hitting the pavement sharply.

I don’t remember how, but I ended up at my place. My vision blurred and cloudy. All I could make out were the faint hints of blue and brown, separating furniture from walls. At once I stumbled over to the bathroom, trying to find something that would dull the ache in my chest.

But I didn’t even make it half way there and I collapsed into a wall, sliding all the way down. My hands were still clenched around the goggles Daisuke had always wore as tears spilled out of my eyes at an almost unheard of rate.

I could have sworn I was crying for a day straight when I heard a knocking on my door. I was too physically and emotionally dead to even lift my head and the knocking endured. Finally, whoever it was opened the door and took a step in.

“Oh my God!” Miyako gasped rushing over to my side. “What happened Tk?” I stifled a sob as the tall purple haired girl sat near me, comfortingly rubbing my back.

I began to talk and cry at the same time, making my speech a jumble of emotions and facts. “I just used him Miyako.” I breathed. “God! I just took advantage of him and used him for my own purpose… I didn’t deserve to have him…”

“Hey hey! Don’t talk like that Tk!” she silenced, her voice donning a firmer tone. “Tk, I know he loved you, just as much as you loved him! My God, you’d have to be blind to not see it!”

“You don’t understand!” I shouted out in self-defense.

“Then tell me.” She sighed, scooting closer to myself. Her arms still hung loosely over my limp shoulders as I began.

“A year ago at Mimi’s party… Daisuke and I ended up drinking a lot, just out of self-pity. We got so plastered we could barely see our hands in front of our faces. That entire night was a blur from that point on. I don’t know how things happened, all I know was when we came to, we were together.” A smile softly crossed my lips at the memory as a tear slipped off my cheek. “My… my head was resting on his chest… and our fingers were linked… I had never felt so safe in my entire life.”

“Tk…” she stuttered shutting her mouth trying to figure out something intelligent to say. But I just continued to blab on; my heart was ripped open and bleeding.

“I completely froze, but I didn’t want to move. It just felt so right! And I remember shifting slightly, so I could get a look at his head… I watched him sleep. Even when he woke up, we just stayed staring at each other for hours.” I laughed bitterly for a moment. “And when I left, I thought things would be so weird around us, but they weren’t. Things weren’t embarrassing or creepy and it felt natural. And a few nights later, there was a knock on my apartment door.”

I stopped in mid sentence, crying my eyes out. I had thought all my tears had dried up, but every time I thought about him, more seemed to flow out. I was choking on my words and Miyako had to hug me close, constantly making “shh-ing” noises to calm me down.

“It had been raining that night and he was standing outside my door, sopping wet, with this cute, little half smile on his face.” I closed my eyes, remembering the way he looked that night. I had memorized every feature on his face so many times… “I don’t even remember why he came over, but something just seemed to take over our bodies; and he spent the night. After that, we were always there for one another, just there to use each other whenever we felt bad. He was like this drug and I couldn’t get enough of him.”

“Tk…” she began to say, but I cut her off before she could continue.

“And it was like that from then on. Every time we had something to vent, we vented on each other. It got to the stupidest things too; me losing a basketball game, him failing a test… it was all about the sex! Nothing else even mattered to us!” I spat, disgusted with myself.

“But… you loved him…” she stuttered.

“I did, God I loved him so much. But I never said it to him. I was so scared that it would change things between us and I couldn’t let that happen! He was my everything Miyako. After a while, we could just sense things; like we didn’t even need to speak to have a conversation. It was this connection we had and that went so much deeper than the physical part of our relationship.” I pulled my knees closer to my chest, crying into my olive khakis. “But there was this one night… it was the best night of my life Miyako.” I inhaled shakily. The tears still streaming down my cheeks.

“What happened Tk?” she asked, compelled to know.

“He was just waiting there for me and he had a bunch of roses in his hands. They were such a beautiful color white, with light red tinted tips; I still have no idea where he got them.” I smiled. “But there was one flower that looked completely different and when you got close to it, you could see it was fake. I joked about him being too cheap to spring for the whole dozen, but he just looked up at me… his movements were so hesitant and his beautiful brown eyes were filled with uncertainty. My heart literally stopped beating at that moment.”

I stopped, biting my bottom lips harshly. Reliving the memory was like hell and I had no idea why I continued. Every single time I saw something that reminded me of him, I would lose it. This was literally the worst torture alive. A personal hell on earth.

“I didn’t know what he was going to do, but he set he flowers in a glass vase right near my bed. I think out of paranoia, or habit I reached out and gathered him in my arms. He stiffened and I almost broke down crying. I had this feeling that he was going to say it was over…” I choked out the last few words. Miyako’s grasp tightening instantly. “He looked right up at me and told me that he bought the flowers for me, because there was something he had to tell me. And then he leaned up, brushing his lips against mine. I swear, I tightened my grip on him to the point he would pop in half.

A grin spreading out across my face as the crystal tears streamed off.

“When we had broken apart, he gulped loudly, looking down at the floor, completely avoiding my gaze. And I asked him why he bought that one different flower. I’ll never forget what he told me. ‘It’s there because I’ll love you until everyone of those roses die.’ And it was as if the tide had changed, because his grasp on me tightened as mine softened; he buried his face so deeply into my chest I thought he was going to break my ribs.”

Miyako laughed slightly as she let out an almost unnoticeable whimper. “That’s so romantic.”

“I know.” I chuckled. “It turns out he was as scared of losing me, as I was losing him. And I’ll tell you now Miya, nothing could ever come close to how intense that night was. No matter how passionate we ever became, it just paled in comparison. At that moment we became inseparable. I refused to let him go and we laughed about it. We were always laughing. I only felt alive when I was near him.”

“I know Tk, I could see it. Even though you told no one, I could just tell. He always lit up next to you, like suddenly all the darkness had been swept away.”

“He’s gone now…” I stated numbly. “And I’ll never get to hold him or kiss him or tell him how much I love him.” I broke down yet again. It got to the point where I was in so much pain, I couldn’t even cry. I just whimpered in sheer, emotional and physical agony. “He’s gone because I didn’t love him enough… I could have saved him…”

“Tk, you have to stop blaming yourself! You couldn’t have stopped it! Ken… he… he had him long before you could even react. Before any of us could. And you have to stop listening to him Tk! He’s doing this on purpose now because he knows it’s killing you!”

“He’s right Miyako!” I bellowed, pushing her away from me harshly. “I didn’t care for him enough! I didn’t love him as much as I claimed and… and…” I stopped arguing as I dropped my head in my lap. I couldn’t finish off the rest of sentence… even the though of him not loving me was enough to make me insane with misery.

“He’s evil Tk. Evil will say or do anything to make sure good people like you hurt more than you should be. He’s cruel, calculating and manipulative; and he’s using your one weakness against you. He was a cold-hearted bastard for giving you those goggles! And the only thing you can do is make sure he pays for what he did!” she snapped me out of my soul-crippling bubble and opened my eyes.

“But I can’t face him Miya… even if what he says are lies, they still hurt. Because if he did say that Miya, God, I would just want to die. I wouldn’t be able to go on.”

“I understand what you’re saying Tk! But do not let that sick, twisted… ugh! get to you!”

I clutched tightly onto Daisuke’s goggles in my right hand. My knuckles were turning white from squeezing so tightly, but they were the only thing I had left of him. I dropped my gaze to them, tracing the long crack with my index finger wanting to rip out Ken’s throat with every moment that passed by.

“I want him to pay.” I growled, violently drying my eyes with the sleeve of my pale yellow shirt. “I want him to suffer the way I am right now for the rest of his God-given life!”

“We’ll get him Tk.” She mustered up a small smile, lightly kissing my forehead. “And I know this doesn’t mean the same to you, but I love you Tk and I’m going to make sure Ken gets his just desserts for this!” her voice holding as much steel as a pole.

I snickered a little, chuckling almost incoherently. She picked up on it and hugged me a little tighter. And as I gazed into her amber eyes, I could feel the life seep back into me slowly; my eyes gleaming in the reflection of hers. “Actually,” I sniffed. “I could go for some dessert right now.”

“My treat.” She promised, helping me up with more strength I though she possessed. With that, she giggled mischievously tugging me from my house quickly as I laughed my first real laugh in over two weeks. Her foot kicked my door shut and she practically dragged me all the way to the local ice cream parlor. At times like these, I was so glad she was my best friend.

“Tk.” Kari’s blurted out in complete shock. “I didn’t think you’d be here today!” without hesitation, she ran over and captured me in a tight bear hug. Iori smiled comfortingly as his girlfriend returned.

“Neither did I to tell you the truth. Miyako convinced me I should stop moping around and actually do something. I just had to get out of that pit of self pity I was in.” I replied, sighing slightly.

“Glad to have you back.” Izzy smiled cheerfully. He was over at Kari’s house trying to network all the computers so the Digiport could open on all of them.

“Yeah.” Chimed Iori. “We could use another helping-hand right now. Ken’s destroyed a lot of the Digiworld…” he trailed off, lightly hitting himself as he shut up. “I’m sorry.”

His words hit me like a physical blow, but I put up a brave smile, waving away his apology. “It’s okay guys. I don’t want to be treated like a helpless little child. I’m okay. Really I am.”

Miyako instantly saw through that lie, as the others seemed to buy it. The last thing I wanted was their pity. I had swallowed enough of my own pity to last me a lifetime. I just wanted to be treated like one of the guys again, like how things were before the accident.

“Prodigious.” Izzy smiled happily. “I got it!”

“I knew you would.” Miyako giggled joyfully as she threw her arms around him, leaning in for a brief, yet passionate kiss. As they pulled apart, I could see the trace smiles that adorned both their faces.

God, I would have done anything to be able to feel half that happy again. I averted my gaze almost immediately, turning around and walking to the other side of Kari’s small bedroom rubbing the back of my neck briefly.

“Tk?” Iori called out as I spun around on my heels, plastering on a transparent smile.

“Yea?” I smiled a little too cheerfully. At that moment, I knew they knew I was lying. They all knew the only thing I wanted to do was break down crying right there and never stop.

“Nothing.” He sighed deeply, shaking his head disapprovingly.

I phased out right then. I knew Izzy was talking and I knew everyone was contributing to the conversation. But my steady gaze was fixed on the Digi-Port. All I wanted to do was jump in and get to the Digital World. But I started to pay attention, sadly only catching the last few minutes of his ‘glorious entrance plan’.

“And then all we have to do is break down his last line of defenses and then we’re in! Digmon would have to burry deep underground, thus creating a path for all of us and then all he has to do is tunnel his way up to the control spire and knock it down!” Izzy proclaimed joyfully to all of us.

Sadly, only Miyako seemed to understand what he was saying. All I got from his speech was we were going to the Digiworld to kill Ken. Well, they were going to capture him and I was going to kill him. Same difference…

“Brilliant!” Miyako cheered loudly, throwing her arms around Izzy again. “And then all we have to do is figure out the location of where he keeps the power source and stop his base! We’re in, we’re out badda-bing, badda-boom!”

“Am I the only one who distrusts plans that contain the words ‘Badda-bing, badda-boom?’” Iori joked as we all stifled a laugh. When I stopped, my attention soared right back to the plan at hand. I was finally going to make Ken Ichijouji pay for what he did to me…

Ken’s POV

My rage was right about ready to blow. Something inside of me just reacted. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and slammed him right into the wall. He screamed once as his head ricocheted off the wall with a painful thud. “Get over him!” I almost commanded, biting down on my lip to further yell at him.

I inhaled once sharply, letting him go, allowing him to slip to the ground in a crying heap. I decided that it was finally time to put one more blow to the injury and smirked sadistically. Reaching into my cape, I drew out Tk’s white hat, the one from the battle slightly stained with blood.

“According to the Monocromon, he was a tasty treat. Too bony for a proper meal, but that annoying Digimon of his seemed to make up for him.” I declared, not faltering once. I had practiced this story so many times and now it was perfect. “You should have heard him, begging for his life. He said quite a few interesting things, most of them being about you.” I saw him flinch slightly, as I threw the hat at him.

His fingers were trembling with fear and shock as he reached out slowly, touching it once to see if it were real. Once his fingers were clenched firmly around it, he hugged it closely, sobbing silently. His eyes were as wide as saucers and he was shaking his head over and over again as if to forget what I had just told him.

“He’s dead Daisuke.” I whispered, pulling my face close to his. My skin brushed against his deliciously colored hair as I pressed my lips against his ear. “He would scream every time I brought my whip in contact with his flesh. He begged me to stop…” I trailed off, smiling happily. A single tear of his touched my cheek as I growled softly, almost incoherently.

“No…” he muttered numbly, shaking his head even fiercer. “NO!”

“It’s true Daisuke.” I sighed deeply. “But I’m sure you would love to know some of the things he said.” He winced again. “He said things about how much he loved you, how much he loved kissing you.” I had to bite down on my lip again to resist licking them. “And how much he loved watching you think what he said was true.”

“What?” he gasped, his head shooting up toward mine as I backed away, staring him straight in the face. His eyes were swollen over with tears, bloodshot and a bright red. It reminded me of looking into a flame; a heat and curiosity laced into every square inch.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I mocked. “Did I strike a nerve? Oh well, seems like lover boy was just using you. He never cared about you, not even a little. And poor naïve little Daisuke actually believed he cared!” I exclaimed, praying that he was too blinded by pain an betrayal to question further.

“No! You’re lying!” he spat venomously, glaring at me with those blinding flames. A hate and vengeance were clearly visible in those pools of deep chocolate that it almost made me shiver.

”No, I’m not.” I sighed, shaking my head at him. “Face it Daisuke, you were used by a pro. You should be thankful that I got rid of him when I did, before he could use you further.” I said with a fake sympathy to my tone. He opened his mouth to protest, but then firmly shut it, looking down at the reddish-white hat he was holding onto for dear life. Another tear slipped from his eye, landing right on it. He spoke again, this time so softly; I had to lean in to hear. “But I loved him…”

“You’re a fool you know.” I snared. “He never gave a damn about you. You were weak and succumbed to emotions, but now you find out that he couldn’t give a damn whether you lived or died and you still act like he was the light in your life.”

“He was!” he snapped. “And you took him away from me!” at once he broke down again, his choking sobs made my heart pound a little faster, as I pushed away the guilt that was creeping up on me. Seeing him like this was just pathetic. And I had to end that right now.

“So.” I bit, grabbing his face roughly in my palm. I pulled him to his feet and without even thinking, slammed him into the wall again. “You think I took away your light.” My voice dripping with malice. Suddenly, my lips curved into an arrogant smile as I looked at him. “Well,” I chuckled “why don’t I arrange it so that all the light is gone?”

At my statement, the shorter boy’s eyes went even wider; my smile just grew. I aggressively netted my fingers in his hair, gripping fiercely as I yanked. His knee, still horribly injured couldn’t support his weight as I began to drag him all the way to my dungeon. His screams were particular interesting as we ventured down the enormous stairs that my fortress held.

Once the burden of pulling at him became too tiring, I let him fall. He tumbled down a great deal of steps, shielding his face from the sharp edges, yet still clung to Tk’s hat. Another flash of hatred for the bearer of Hope burned inside me as I waved it away, just like I had the others.

As soon as I made it down, I saw him curled up in a ball, touching different areas of his body that were either badly bruised or bleeding profusely. Seeing him so helpless and injured brought upon this feeling of possessiveness toward him.

“What the hell is wrong with me?” I hissed under my breath, reaching down to grasp at his shoulder. He gasped as my hand touched him and my grip instantly lightened. Physically injuring him wasn’t something I wanted to do; that was my last resort if my other games didn’t work.

“Master.” A Monocromon bowed somewhat as I appeared with a very injured Daisuke. It used its large head to push open a door to a particularly dark and dreary room. One that had a fairly fresh scent of blood in it.

“Remember this place?” I half laughed as he shivered. This was the exact same room I had used to torture him some months before. The room where he spent an entire week wishing I would just kill him; but no, I would never let death’s grip come close to him. I wanted him to feel this burning fear that would scar him for the rest of his God-given life.

The room, as I requested, was sealed off from all light. Even the littlest of cracks were closed up tightly. Without warning, I threw him in, watching from the corner of my eye as he stumbled in, colliding directly where I wanted him to.

“Oh, I might want to add that your dearly beloved was in this exact same cell. I think his chewed up bones are still in there somewhere.” I stepped out gracefully, slamming the door behind me as I looked down at the Digimon before me. “Every time he bangs, it’s another hour he stays in there.”

“And how long is he supposed to be in here master?” it asked curiously. I thought to myself for a moment.

“One week. And stand in front of the door. I don’t want a single ray to enter that room. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes master.” It trembled before sitting firmly in place. After waving away another wave of guilt, I made my way up to my room. Knowing all of the shortcuts made it so much easier for me.

Even from the distance I was, I could hear him screaming to get out. I silently hoped that he didn’t have to stay in there longer than he should, because I knew what darkness did to you. After a while, something inside of you begins to fade and you become hungry for the light. Something screams to be let free at any and all costs. Your sanity begins to slip, just like your hope for getting out.

“Hope.” I spat again. I would never be rid of that bothersome child. It was bad enough that he was the one that held an unkempt amount of power, but he was also the one that Daisuke’s heart belonged to. I froze on the spot as soon as that though entered my head.

For the life of me, I couldn’t grasp why I had just thought that and why an unheard of amount of jealousy soon followed. I forcefully slammed my fist into a wall, screaming in pure frustration. My heart was beating madly in my chest as I dropped carelessly into a chair that loaned a corner of my large room.

I sighed deeply, fighting off all the impulses in my skull that told me to destroy the tall blond and make the lie a reality. But something in me said that if I were to actually kill Tk, Daisuke would never forgive me. And for some reason, the thought of him mad at me would be like torture.

“Master…” Wormmon muttered lowly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I leered. “Get away from me this instant.”

“Master, something is wrong… you haven’t acted this way, well ever.” the Digimon shuffled nervously. “It’s Daisuke isn’t it?”

“Yes.” I replied before I could stop myself. Another urge irrupted. Funny, I was never was one to shove my foot in my mouth.

“I knew it!” he cheered triumphantly. I raised an eyebrow, slightly curious to know what he ‘knew’. “I didn’t want to say anything, but I remember last time that he was here, you changed. The other Digimon didn’t notice, because it wasn’t a huge improvement…”

“Stop rambling Wormmon.” I sighed annoyed, rubbing my temple trying to relieve some of the pressure.

“I’m sorry.” He flinched. “But Ken,” I looked up as he addressed me by my real name “I… I think you like him.”

My eyes enlarged in my head as I glared at him dangerously. Not because I was mad at him, but because I was surprised that he seemed to have figured it out before I did. “W-what did you say?” I asked, stuttering a bit.

“I’m sorry master, it was wrong of me to… to… I’ll just leave now.” He apologized quickly before darting out of the room quickly.

For the next few minutes, I sat in shock, replaying the insanely small conversation Wormmon and I had just had. Could I like Daisuke? No, it was impossible. Evil didn’t fall for good and I certainly didn’t fall for Daisuke.

But I knew in my head I was denying the obvious.

When I finally came back to the dungeon, an entire week later, I found the room to be deathly quiet. Suddenly fearing the worst, I pried apart to door and shoved my head in, scanning the small room efficiently. Soon, my eyes fell upon a sight for sore eyes as my mind mentally caressed the Digidestined over and over again.

He was hunched in a corner, pressed against the wall so snugly, it looked as if he were trying to become a part of it. His usually blaring eyes were now hollow and slicked over with misery. His deliciously tanned skin looked weak, pale and aged. He wasn’t the same person I had banished here.

I gulped rather loudly as I approached him, touching his shoulder with the tips of my fingers. He didn’t so much as blink. But as I lowered my eyes to meet his, he looked at me with those dead eyes of his. His bottom lip quivered vigorously, as tears began to form in the corners of his eyes.

Much to my disgust, he was still clutching Tk’s white hat, refusing to let it go. His eyes wandered briefly to the skeleton I had ‘borrowed’ from the biology lab and placed in the room with him. As long as he believed it to be Tk, I was content.

“Please…” he leaded suddenly. His voice was so weak and broken. It was probably the first time he used it in days. “Please just kill me.” My perfectly neutral expression turned into a deep scowl as I pulled him up by the shoulders, almost loosing my grip on him as he practically slid out of my arms. Out of pure frustration, I kicked at the plaster skeleton chained to a wall, getting a muffled cry from Daisuke. “Tk…”

That was the straw that broke the camels back. “WHY!?” I snapped suddenly, pressing him against the wall. My heart began to pound thunderously in my chest as I looked down at the boy who was averting his gaze. A hunger pang rocketed around my body, only telling me to take him right now.

Daisuke muttered something so low it didn’t even make it to my ears. Slowly closing the gap between us, I used every ounce of will power to not kiss him. His eyes were like loss, like cold fire raging through his battered mind. His lips trembled again and that was all I could stand.

Swiftly, I captured his mouth with mine, melting into the brunette’s body. He neither protested nor tried to fight me off as I continued to explore his mouth with my tongue. All he did was whimper slightly, crying crocodile tears that soaked the sides of my face as well as his.

I broke our embrace momentarily to collect as much air in my lungs as possible. My mouth simply begging for more contact. My mind was swimming and I was dizzy. I couldn’t breath properly enough to get the air my body was screaming for, but somehow it felt so good to feel so weak.

Carefully, I tilted his head back so those glistening orbs were looking up at me. Fear was plainly visible as I slowly made my way back down, giving him enough time to back away if he desired so. Hell, even if he did pull away I would have grabbed his head back.

Our lips met again and this time I pulled him in close to me squeezing his body forcefully. He gasped meekly but I refused to let him go. The bottled up desire I held for him shone clearly now, erupting in one instant.

“Please stop…” he begged softly, crying painful tears. “Please…” I completely ignored him as I roughly tore at his shirt ripping the off-white cotton to a pile of rags. My hands greedily trailed up his back with such a possessive firmness, it almost scared me. “Please…”

I suddenly froze, pulling away from him reluctantly. I found myself once again looking into his eyes, still taken a back by the immense emotion that was displayed. This only made him more pleasing in my eyes. I was slowly losing control of all my senses and still that one thought coursed through my veins like blood. ‘Take him!’

“God please don’t…”he whimpered once he managed to look me in the eyes. “Please don’t…” the eyes I was mesmerized with pleaded louder than his words ever could.

“Sh.” I hushed, bringing my lips over his gently, kissing him softly. He tensed under my feel now, squeezing his eyes shut as a thin trail of gleaming crystal slid off his cheeks. I lightly brushed it away as I wrapped my arms around his waist drawing his unresponsive body into mine. But that infinite ease I momentarily harbored was washed away as the hunger set back in.

He screamed through tears that night, whimpering wildly as he tried desperately to hold back his tears. And I made that no easy mission, raking my nails across his scarred back, biting his tender neck, all while accomplishing my greatest mission. Breaking Daisuke Motomiya completely. When I finally left him in the morning I made a promise that’s I’d be back.

He shuddered violently, curling up into a small ball with a look of complete despair and emptiness on his face. He delicately touched the small wounds I left on his perfect body, wincing and crying all at the same time, violated and disgusted.

And quite frankly, I didn’t give a shit. But something inside me flinched as I saw Daisuke sob into something in his hand. That white hat…

Daisuke’s POV

I had never felt so ashamed of myself in my whole life. I could have stopped what he did to me, but I was just so weak… and now, as a result, my body was so sore… I could barely breath without feeling a sharp stinging somewhere on my body. Trying to walk was useless, so even though the door was open, I couldn’t run away.

I desperately tried to pull myself up off the floor, but the pain radiating though me abruptly stopped me in my tracks, causing me to collapse right back down on the freezing stone. Landing with a thud, I refused to cry. I refused to scream and I refused to let him do that to me again.

He had already taken too much away from me and my body was something that I had only planed on sharing with Tk. God, Tk… he would never have been that rough with me. He just couldn’t hurt me that way ever. He was too gentle and loving.

My heart twisted in my chest as I looked down at the hat that I hadn’t let go of in two weeks. “I’m so sorry.” I apologized to it lightly, biting down on my lip to not scream as I moved my leg.

I could honestly say that no pain I had ever come across felt like this. He tore into me, whispering threats that if I screamed, he would make it more painful. And when he purposely dug his nails into my back and the holler slashed through my throat like a razor, he kept his promise, doubling the pain infliction every time. And the coldhearted bastard even managed to keep me conscious the whole time…

I shuddered at the other threat he had promised me. And much to my dismay, the Emperor kept his promise of returning. The smirk he always wore seemed to grow each time he made me tremble, each time he did something Tk wouldn’t even do in his dreams.

With each visit, I just wished he would kill me. I was living with this embarrassment and humiliation hanging over my head everyday, all because I couldn’t protect myself from this monster that seemed to steal a bit more of my innocence with every returning visit.

It had been five days since he first came to me in the dungeon and four nights since he had continued to return. It had become a nightly ritual with him and that disgusted me to the point of regurgitation.

But it was my own fault as well. I let him take this dominance over me. It got to the point where I was too petrified to even whimper in his presence. I knew I could easily stop this, but for some reason, I couldn’t. God, I wanted this torture to stop, but I could never verbalize my agony beyond a mangled scream.

So now, I had come to accept the fact that the Emperor wasn’t going to ever let me go and that he would only stop abusing me when I finally croaked over dead. All I could do now was bite my tongue and try hard to not scream out Tk’s name.

I heard strong footsteps on the ground, sending a shiver down my spine. He was back. “How’s my pet doing today?” he lipped in that obnoxious voice he donned. I remained silent. “Tsk, such a shame. Not talking.” He coyly slid his arm underneath me and levitated me off the ground several inches.

Turning me around, he studied my bruised face thoughtfully. I couldn’t even bring my eyes up to meet his. Bringing his lips down on mine, he sighed deeply. I felt so sick at that moment… even when he was trying to be gentle, he was forceful.

“You know, you should be thankful.” He whispered to me suddenly. Both my eyes shot open in surprise and I nearly laughed out loud.

“You must be kidding.” I spat, hearing my own voice for the first time in days. I had intended it to be stronger and more fearsome, but it hit my ears like a pitiful moan.

The Emperor smiled down at me, smirking widely. “Just think my precious Daisuke, I could actually be commanding to you enjoy his.” His voice dropped several degrees, “Or even reciprocate…”

“Never!” I barked, my strength seemed to grow in my as I pushed him off me slightly, but my arms felt like they had broken off in that one act of heroics. “I would never ever…”

“Idle threats Daisuke.” He hissed. “You seem to keep forgetting who’s in control here. Who has all the cards…” he trailed off as he suddenly found my neck much more interesting.

“No…” I stuttered. “There is only one person in this world that I could ever love! And you will never be him! You will never be Takeru!” he slapped me. He slapped me so hard I could still feel the stinging days after.

“Don’t you ever mention that name!” he ordered menacingly. I was literally shaking beneath him, suddenly regretting what I had said. “You will pay dearly if you ever mention that name again!”

Before I could even stop myself, I retorted disobediently. “You have already taken away everything that I could have ever possessed! I have nothing left!” my fingers tightened around Tk’s hat as I wept almost unnoticeably. “Everything I love is dead…”

“Enough!” he commanded. “If you think this is torture, then just you wait! I can do so much more to you Daisuke, I own you now. And like it or not, you will be mine!”

I felt a bitter smile tug at my lips. “When hell freezes over!” I spat, for some reason feeling in power.

“You don’t even know how grave that was…” he shook his head. “You will be punished for that. And I know just how to do it.” Without another word, he snatched away the only memento of my love and stormed out of the room.

“No!” I screeched, trying frantically to stand up, but I only found myself on the ground once again. Now he truly had taken away everything… I had absolutely nothing left in the miserable world…and the Emperor knew that.

For what had to be the hundredth time, I cried. That was just about the only thing I could do in the dungeon. For a brief moment, my spirits seemed to float. At least he wouldn’t be back tonight.

But the Emperor always seemed to know exactly what I was thinking. He appeared at the doorway, leering at me with a visible displeasure under those shades of his. I subconsciously tightened the grip I had on myself as he gracefully strut in, hovering right above me.

After several minutes of feeling his eyes bore into my head, he spoke. “You know, this would be so much easier if you just gave into me. I don’t want you to suffer.” His voice held no sarcasm or mockery as he whispered those words. He almost sounded hurt…

“No.” I said tartly. For the first time, I returned his steady gaze, with a rather dead one. “You can do whatever you want with me, but I will never give into you. You can keep torturing me like this Emperor, for the rest of my life and I still won’t join you.”

He shook his head. “You say that now.” His face suddenly smiling the most obnoxious smile on earth. “Not even if I told you I have your meddlesome friends in another cell in my fortress? Not even for that Digimon of yours?”

“You like rubbing salt in the wounds don’t you?” I squeezed my eyes shut. Even if he had been telling the truth, I didn’t want them to see me like this. I’m so filthy…

“And what delicious wounds they are.” He smirked, licking my neck suggestively. I shuddered, turning my neck so I didn’t have to look at him. “Oh, we’ll have none of that tonight Daisuke.” He purred. It was helpless for me to fight him. He knew this just as well as I did. “Tonight, let’s play a little game.” He paused long enough to allow me to look at him. “Tonight, you’re going to play along. And if you don’t, what I’m doing to you will seem like a walk in the ballpark compared to what I’ll do to your friends.”

I gasped loudly, my eyes as cold as ice. “You sick bastar…”

He silenced me by placing his finger over my lips. Then, with his free hand he gently tugged the glasses from his face, for the first time revealing his eyes. I could have recognized that face even if I had been born blind.

“No…” I moaned, shaking my head over and over again. It couldn’t be… not him… not the only person I ever looked up to…

“Yes.” He whispered seductively, lightly pressing his lips over mine. And it was probably the first time in weeks that I didn’t try to struggle. And for the first time in a week, I numbly kissed him back. And it dawned on me as my hand weakly trailed up his. My greatest fear was coming true right before my eyes.

I was losing myself to the darkness.

Tk’s POV

Stepping into the Digiworld was the hardest for me. Right upon entering, I felt this awesome grief strike my heart. I twitched at the feeling, pushing it away as I donned a fearless, brave façade that I had worn a few times in my life.

“Tk?” Miyako looked over at me as the Digi-Port closed.

“Yea?” I answered quietly, gawking at the tan sand beneath my shoes. A cool breeze picked up, flinging bits of the grains at me.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay? If you want, I can get Izzy to reopen the Digi-Port…”

“No, I’m fine!” I snapped a little more viciously than I had intended. I sighed, looking down ashamed. “I’m sorry Miya…”

“I know, no need to explain yourself.” She grinned comfortingly.

“I just want to get in, get him and get out as fast as possible.”

“I understand.” She smiled, grabbing my hand and squeezing it tightly. “I need you to be brave for me Tk.”

I nodded wordlessly to her as she grabbed her D3, glancing at Hawkmon unwaveringly. “Armour Digivolve!” momentarily, the bird had changed into a heroic looking samurai, a white veil shielding his face.

“Armadillomon!” Iori piped up. The small, dumpy creature grew, changing into a metallic mole with drills. The boy and his Digimon set out immediately on digging a tunnel that went underground.

Patamon looked over at me, smiling this awkward little half smile as his large ears flapped about wildly. “I’m ready when you are Tk.” He promised, sailing over to sit on my head.

“Digivolve and let’s get him.” I threatened no one. As soon as he was Pegasusmon, I jumped on his back and he took off into the air. “Let’s go.”

Once Izzy’s plan was explained in English, it was fairly quite simple. Basically, it was get Digmon to burry underground and make us a pathway. Once we got to this desired location, we would destroy the Control Spire so our Digimon could Champion Digivolve.

Kari and myself were on guard duty for now, scouting the skies for any signs of Black Spiraled Digimon. Shurimon and Miyako were already long gone, searching for Ken’s base. Once they found it, Izzy would feed her the instructions to break the locks and we then all get called in and we go.

Inside, we grab the power source and that ends the existence of his base. Since all the power would be shut off, he would have no control over the Digimon in the area and we would get him once and for all.

“How much longer?” Pegasusmon complained. “I’m getting sore from flying so much.”

“I told you to exercise, but no! We had to constantly pig out…”

“You were right along side me Tk, I wouldn’t be making fun! And I wouldn’t be making fun at this height. One little tilt and you’d be splatter… not a smart move.”

”Sad thing is, you’re the smartest person here. And that thought makes me so depressed that I think I’m going to go and cry.” I cringed as he wiggled playfully.

“Tk!” Kari screamed suddenly. “Miyako’s back!” looking at my Digimon, he gently swooped down to the ground, landing stylishly on the soft sand.

“We’re in.” she smirked wickedly as I met her eyes. Reaching out, I grabbed her in my arms and hugged her fiercely.

“Finally.” I sobbed lightly.

Daisuke’s POV

When I woke up the next morning, I was literally ready to throw up. My stomach was a tight knot as I gingerly shook the Emperor’s arm from around my waist. He instantly woke, strengthening his grip on me as my stomach churned.

Neither of us said anything. We just drank in the silence that surrounded up. And for some reason, I began to relax. Out of nowhere, I lightly placed my head on his chest, inhaling unsteadily. As if on cue, his fingers began to play with my hair and for one moment, I felt safe again.

“Daisuke.” He murmured as I gradually turned to face him. He had such beautiful eyes, that I felt frozen when I looked into them. “What will it take for you to not see me as a monster?” his voice shook almost unnoticeable.

“You’re not a monster.” I breathed unconsciously. His arms steadily held me closer, forming a comforting blanket around me.

“I don’t want you to see me as…” whatever he was going to say was cut off by a sharp stop. The entire room went blacker than it already was, causing me to shudder violently. But the Emperor’s arms seemed to shield me…

Deftly, he cradled my body in his arms before setting me down softly on the floor. He hastily changed and stormed out to the room to find out what was going on.

And then it all crashed down on my. It seemed that right now I was only seeing what I had done. I felt nauseous and I had to prop myself up on one of the walls so I didn’t pass out.

Feeling strangely alone and cold, I grabbed the remainder of my clothing and dressed as best I could. I felt some of my strength return to me as I clutched onto a jagged brick and pulled myself up. I hadn’t stood on my own two legs for a while now, and I felt like a toddler who was learning how to walk for the first time.

Then I heard voices. Feeling my curiosity get the best of my, I stumbled out of the room, almost tripping over myself as I plowed into a wall. I groaned as I managed to turn around, inhaling penetratingly.

“Who’s there?” A Digimon called out. I recognized it instantly. Patamon…

“Pa…” I tried to scream out, but my voice felt terribly worn, and my legs began to fall out under myself. Hitting the ground, I grunted, squeezing my eyes shut tightly.

“Oh my God.” A shallow whisper pierced the still air of the hallway. “Oh my God!” that voice… it was so soothing and all at the same time so bitter. Tk…

“Tk…” I choked, feeling the tears stream off my cheeks as the boy ran over and grabbed me possessively in his arm. He sobbed freely onto my skin, pausing every few minutes to truly look at me.

“You’re alive!” he rejoiced. “My God you’re alive…” he hugged me close to his body as I memorized exactly why I had fallen in love with him the way I did. “You’re alive.” He choked out in a gagged sob.

“I though you were dead…” I whispered, my voice trembling just as my body was in his loving embrace. He looked deeply into my eyes, smiling widely as he flicked a tear off the side of my face with his slender finger.

“I’m going to take you home… and… and I’m going to never let you out of my sight again.” He vowed, squeezing me like a rag doll. I screamed out in agony as he instantly let go.

And as if he was looking at me for the first time, he gasped. His fingers trembling as they lightly trailed over my bare torso. The bruises and cuts all clearly evident. Some of the more ferocious wounds almost took on the shape of things. Like spilt milk…

“What did he do to you?” Tk gasped, rage appearing in every gesture he made. And as if he could read my mind, he shook his head, sobbing mournfully. “I couldn’t protect you… God I’m so sorry Daisuke! I’m so sorry…”

“Get away from him!” Ken’s voice barked clearly from inside the hallway. Tk looked up at him, blinded by his hatred and confusion. “I won’t repeat myself Digidestined! Get away from my property!”

“No! I’m taking him back with me! Where’s he’s loved and respected you sick bastard!” he stuttered, his entire body was quivering so quickly.

All I could do was numbly cry into Tk’s t-shirt, wanting desperately to just curl up in his arms and never let go of him. I wanted to be with the only person I loved right now. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and carry me out of this horror movie…

“He’s. Staying. Right. Here.” Ken snapped again, this time moving closer into the light. His glasses removed from his handsome face. “Isn’t that right Daisuke?”

His eyes locked with mine, making my blood run cold. “Just tell him you’re coming with me Daisuke.” Tk smiled shakenly. “Just tell him you’re leaving and coming with me!”

He was so terrified of losing me again that it broke my heart. And I fell in love with him again, knowing that I would always have his undying love by my side. But for some reason I looked over at Ken.

There was a look in his eyes that spoke louder than words. ‘Chose him, I’ll kill him.’

And my mind was made up. With great effort, I freed myself from Tk’s grasp, shuffling obediently over to Ken’s side. With an air of victory to him, he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling my up for a long kiss.

He swung me around so I faced the other direction and he began to walk slowly. “Remove yourself from my fortress at once.”

And as we rounded the corner, I caught my final glimpse of Tk. My beautiful Takeru. He was kneeling, looking as dead as a corpse. He was so still that it looked as if he wasn’t even breathing. But a could so clearly see the long, flowing stream of tears that cascaded off his cheeks, pooling around his hands.

And as soon as I was out of sight from him, I broke down crying, right in Ken’s arms knowing perfectly well that I had to protect the one person that meant the world to me; I had to keep him safe from any and all harm. Even if I had to kill him in the process.

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