Kiss Me Deadly: Wishing I was Dead Since Half-Way Through The Movie WOW. I never thought I would watch a movie with that many random and unexplained plot twists in my life. Quite frankly, I did not know Hollywood pandered to the ‘chose your own adventure’ styles of movie going. Yet, the pell-mell story aside the acting was dreadful and the directing is completely forgettable. I just wish I could now forget… Let us begin with the acting. Mike Hammer. What a tough and masculine name. How cutting edge and enticingly cool. Oh, I am sorry; I am obviously mistaking Ralph Meeker’s performance with that of a talented actor. I felt nothing for him. No sympathy, no anxiety no nothing. Well, maybe boredom and frustration at what a blatant and irrevocable misogynist he is portrayed as. I was almost praying that his lifeless depiction of an apparent badass tough guy would get him killed. Christina. Oh Christina. A word of advice: when you tell the lead character to his face he is a narcissistic, arrogant prick, stick to that logic. He will not change for you. You are a fool if you think he will. Now, my personal favorite: the plot of everything and nothing. What did this movie not have? Mysterious sexualized woman? Check. Said mysterious woman being a skanky girl in the middle of the highway? Check. Unconsciousness? Check. Random unsolvable murder of said skanky girl? Check. Personal quest to avenge the skanky girl? Check. Blatant bribery to the point you the audience want in for a piece of the pie? Check. Bombs? Why the hell not. Calm down Aldrich! You somehow managed to mix every single noir plotline into one giant incomprehensible movie. Major props to you for undoing twenty years of cinematic excellence. I hope selling your soul to get this movie in production was worth it Klute: Shot to Hell in the Last Few Frames To be quite honest, I still do not fully comprehend the ending of Klute. It felt as if I had been pulled into this world of prostitutes, detectives and murder, only to be violently kicked out right at the point where I wanted to stay the most. Due to that fact, I could not enjoy Klute properly and as a result have a mixed reaction to the film. To begin, I think Jane Fonda and Donald Sutherland were absolutely amazing. Bree was vulnerable yet seductive and you knew she understood the dirtier and grittier side to life. Donald Sutherland is one of my heroes. He was suave yet horribly naïve, a trait that most detectives do not possess. Overall, the chemistry between the two of them was palpable. I felt the love and the desire and the maddening heartbreak of the ending (still so confused…) In hindsight and after writing up this little blurb I have come to realize that the reason I was enchanted and disillusioned by Klute all in the same breath is all because of the plot. The plot of the movie was just not happening for me. A man is kidnapped; a detective is put on the case, he meets the mistress (or in this case, the call girl) and he falls in love with her only to find out she is the new target. We later discover the person who hires Klute is really the murderer. Am I the only one getting a MAJOR flash of deja done to death? This is only made worse by the fact I was expecting this grand, elaborate explanation of the movie so I could walk away from it feeling the least bit satisfied. The ending just made that impossible for me. I understood that Bree wanted to flee New York and live a life in which she is not a subjected sexual object. How noble. Yet, why in the hell did she attack Klute? To a certain degree, I believe Bree has been down the path of self-loathing and destruction, but if her desire to escape was that powerful, John is essentially, her way out. Oh well. I guess there are some things in life I am just not supposed to comprehend. Like Fonda’s hairstyle… (bowl + mullet = career killer) Chinatown: SAY WHAT??????? Stop the presses, the absolutely impossible has occurred. Somehow, Jack Nicholson, the second scariest man in the known universe (number one being Willem Dafoe), manages to look hot in this movie. Since hell has officially frozen over, I expect Steve Buscemi to be People’s sexiest man of 2006, only beating out Christopher Walken by a few hundred votes. But wow, props to Jack. Now, dealing with the movie… *coughs* I really have to admit that I loved Chinatown. It is the personification of good, old, clean American fun, nicely wrapped up in a two hour movie. It felt extremely Tarantino-ish, with all the subplots that kept emerging and the plot kept thickening and thickening until you are almost suffocating in the incredibly developed plot. Much like Tarantino, you are left begging for more. Where else can an affair lead to murder which leads to water which leads to corrupt real estate agents which leads to a dastardly plot to buy up worthless land and sell it for millions more than it is really worth? Chinatown apparently. Jake is phenomenal. Seriously, he is my second favorite Jack Nicholson character ever (number one being The Joker). He manages to pull off psychotic yet concerned, intelligent yet guttural all the while being SO damn cool he gives Sammy J a run for his Pulp Fiction money. The line in which he chews out Evelyn for almost losing his nose made me laugh so hard that I mentally positioned that scene right up there with Jules explaining to the inept robber which wallet is his. My opinions of Faye Dunaway can quite simply be summarized with: if she was not nominated for an Oscar for her role, then my faith in the Academy has died. If she was nominated for an Oscar for this role and did not win, then my faith in the Academy has doubly died. Yet, the one thing that left a bad taste in my mouth was the whole, I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours first, let’s compare scars* moment in which both Evelyn and Jake realize they are flawed and are two halves of the same marred soul. Really Roman? I totally did not get all the symbolism you were liberally throwing out to the audience, but all the same, thank you for adding the final nail to the coffin when Evelyn is shot through her decrepit eye. Graphic. But I guess shooting Faye Dunaway in the head was cheaper than getting a therapist. *Totally stolen from Swing Life Away by Rise Against Memento: You So Knew I Was Going To Do This Combine equal parts love of the unknown, equal parts love of the unexplainable and a pinch of Christopher Nolan pixie magic and you come up with one of the greatest and most original movies of all time. An entire movie played out backwards. It seems so simple to actually do yet at the same time, so purposeless. Why would anyone want to watch a movie where they already know the ending? Are not the most fascinating aspects of a movie the lead up to the climactic ending in which all is revealed and made well again? According to Christopher Nolan: no. Apparently, the most mind bending movie in recent cinematic history claims that the scariest part of a thriller is finding out what started the entire ordeal and especially what perpetuated Leonard Shelby to become the center of such a chaotic adventure. Why does this man have so many pictures lodged in his pockets? Why is his flesh covered in tattoos? Why is it that he cannot remember the events that propel him to brave the unknown; especially when he clearly cannot recall any aspect of his life safe for what he etched into himself. I am still not completely recovered from the beginning (?) of the movie. Leonard will never be able to remember that he was the one who killed his wife, nor will he ever be able to recall he as already exacted his revenge on his appointed scapegoat. His life will always be a mystery to himself and he is so vulnerable because of it. Whether it is spit in a drink or blood on his hands, Leonard is a doomed character whose only purpose for living is completely flawed. It definitely does not help that people like Teddy use him to their advantage to clean up their problems; ignoring how desperately Leonard is searching for answers that even he cannot puzzle out. Such a doomed movie with a bleak outlook on life; to make matters worse, it will always plays backward. Fight Club: This is Your Life and It’s Ending One Minute at a Time I have to begin by saying Fight Club is one of three movies that I can quote front to back in two different languages. I truly believe there are not enough words in the English language to describe how much I love this movie. I still remember the very first time I saw Fight Club and even now, five years later, the movie can still drive me to the edge of my seat. Even attempting to decode the brilliance that is Chuck Palahinuk is impossible for there is simply too much going on for the human brain to comprehend. Palahinuk’s writing is godly. His wit, sarcasm, intelligence and humor are beyond that of any writer of the 1990’s. He glorified monotony and explained a way in which everyone can break out of the mundane and tear the proverbial wool away from ones eyes. The critiques are so subtle and so simple that one gains a whole different perspective after reading how consumerism has stained the soul with sin much like Adam. Soon, as Edward Norton describes, we become obsessed with the ways in which our items can define us as a person, yet once everything is literally and figuratively blow away, all we are is a house full of condiments and no food. Moreover, the constant allusion to death and rebirth are to this very day some of the wisest and most profound I have ever heard. “Lose an hour gain an hour, this is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time… If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?” closely followed by “Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessle's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever had”. It is perfect. Palahinuk’s ability to cut past all the falsities and present the undiluted truth in such an elegant manner is solely his. Yet, what makes Fight Club so incomparable is the fact the entire movie hints toward Tyler and the Narrator being the same person. During the climactic scene in which we finally have Brad Pitt spell out everything, we literally hit out heads and go “Oh hell, I SO knew that”. No one ever addresses Tyler when Edward Norton’s character is talking, the same vice versa. I still get giddy when everything in the movie begins to make perfect sense and you begin to wonder just whose side you were on from the beginning. Night Moves: Deep Blue Has Nothing on Gene Hackman I do not know what I was expecting when I rented Night Moves, but I definitely know I was not prepared for the intensely psychological and philosophical ride it took me on. Afterward, the symbolism with the infamous chess game was ringing louder than a gong in a poorly dubbed over Asian game show. The way in which the Knight moves: two to the front and one to the side. Going forward yet always forced to take a turn from his desired destination. Unlike all the other pieces in chess, which are allowed to follow a straight line, the Knight is forever forced to curve, making his deadly yet insanely difficult to move. Gene Hackman is one of my favorite actors and his role as Harry was just another block proving his talent. His life pretty much sucks. Cheating wife, a dead end profession in an era where detectives were needed just about as much as a frontal lobotomy, a job that involves him searching for a teenage girl who has serious pent up sexual frustration toward father figures and just for good measure, a cute and helpful woman is thrown in the mix. He is, in short, having one hell of a crappy run and I was right there alongside him, desperately wanting to hold his hand. Surprisingly, I really enjoyed Melanie Griffith’s performance. She has never impressed me in anything. But to play a sex crazed/starved sixteen year old who has no problem swimming completely nude under a see through boat bottom while flipping the bird blew me, pardon the pun, right out of the water. What enthralled me with Night Moves, is how much time is spent on developing the characters. Harry’s boat is called the Point of View, which is exactly what is given to the audience while watching. You are given many different points of view to choose from and after a certain point, the mystery becomes unimportant. The line, “solving the mystery helps no one” summarizes everything in a nutshell. In short, chess is once again made cool by Hackman. Plus 60000 geek points.