CALIFORNIA-- For as long as there's been man, there's been fire. Last night, on April 17 at approximately 1:43 AM, the once proud and mighty Bridgefield manor burnt to a crisp. The arsonist responsible for the blaze fell to his death from the third story of the house. For the next three hours, local firefighters, maids, butlers and family members tried to quench the blaze, yet it was to no avail. Four hours later, at roughly 5:50 AM, Bridgefield was left a smouldering pile of wood and metal.

Sources claim that the fire began spreading from the third floor, burning downward instead of up. According to fire chief William Paxon, "Downward burning fires are very rare, but are also the deadliest types of fires you can encounter. In a normal fire, smoke rises as the flame burn upward, in this case, the flames burnt down, as did the smoke. It cuts off all fresh air, leaving people trapped either to burn of suffocate to death."

"It was terrible," claimed sobbing nanny Caitlin Key. "There was smoke everywhere and you couldn't see a thing! I was so terrified I prayed to every God I knew for help." Thankfully for the guests and faculty of Bridgefield, the night wouldn't end in tragedy. Their knight in Gucci armour, Robert Edwards, the wealthy attorney for Proxima and owner of Bridgefield, charged in and saved the lives of all the people in his manor. He suffered serious third degree burns for his heroics, and due to an apparent collapse in the ceiling, lost sight in one of his eyes. As well, he had to have his left leg amputated due to the gravity of his burns, which according to on sight doctors' "Were some of the worst" they had ever seen.

Though, the night's only real victim was twenty-seven year old Bert Ha. The arsonist, as well as ex-gardener for Robert Edwards, had, according to forensic specialist Jan Erin, "Used the petroleum and water based catalyst BrCl, (which is also the leading and active ingredient in 'Sperma', a lawn fertilizer that kills weeds and crab grass) that if lit on fire, becomes an actual miniature bomb." Apparently, his death was accidental. In his haste to escape, he was knocked out an open window, falling 127 meters onto solid concrete. The remains of his body were taken to the local coroners office to be processed.

Yet, there's always a bright side to a dark situation. "I was thinking of renovating anyway," joked Robert Edwards at St. Mary's Hospital later that night. "Now I guess I don't really have a choice!" Edwards also stated that he was "tremendously relieved" that none of the people staying overnight were harmed. The majority of the people had a minor case of second hand smoke inhalation, with the gravest problem (besides his own) being a singed hand. Though, when asked his opinion of the fire and its aftermath, he shakily chuckled, "I just don't know how I'm going to explain this to my vacationing wife!"

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