DSP-- Lexi: Sunrise Children's Home

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My name is Lexie and I am 6 years old. I have long brown curly hair and green eyes. I'm pretty tall for my age and sometimes get mistaken for being a bit older. I live at the Sunrise Children's Home. I've lived here for as long as I can remember. I don't have a mom or a dad or sisters or brothers. At least I don't think I do. If I ever did, I don't remember them now.

I'm somewhat of a rough child. I can't help it. I once heard someone say I was 'rambunctious'. I think it means that I move around too much for them, cause they are old and don't know what it feels like not to be able to sit still. After all, there is a lot to see and do. Sometimes people talk about kids like we can't hear or something. Social workers do that a lot, like when they say I don't have any 'parental figures'. Sheesh, why can't they just say I don't have a mom and dad?

I somehow get into a lot of mischief and no one knows how to control me. And I don't really care. That's their problem.

Mr. Trent tries very hard with me. He's the one who runs SCH. He's very patient with me and is always hugging and snuggling us kids. But I'm not much for snuggling. I like to be on the move.

And moving is something I do a lot of. I've moved around a lot from foster home to foster home. After a while, the families bring me back. "I'm too much trouble. I get into everything. I don't listen and don't mind them. I'm too much of a handful," are the things I hear them tell Mr. Trent.

It's not like I try to misbehave. I guess I just get bored very easily. I like to be active. I'm curious. I'm very smart too, and I want to know everything. Mr. Trent says I have the biggest and best vocabulary of any kid he's ever known, and he's known a lot of kids. He says I sound very grown-up sometimes when I talk. I could get mistaken for a teen-ager on the phone, maybe.

Sandy watches Mr. and Mrs. Harris drop off my things. "We tried," they say. Sandy nods and says, "Yes, I know." "Sorry," they tell her.

Sandy nods again and waves as they drive off. She looks down at me and says, "What happened this time, Lexie?"

I smile up at her. "I dunno, too much trouble, I guess," I say.

The Harrises were the latest foster family to try me out. But it wasn't working. They knew it and I knew it. Good thing I don't get too attached to anyone. I liked their dog a lot. I guess I will miss him; they don't allow pets at SCH. Not sure what the big deal is anyway about being adopted and living with a family. I like it here just fine.

"Come here, Lexie," Sandy says. I go to her and she picks me up and snuggles me. Sandy is Mr. Trent's wife. They were both into snuggling. I just sighed. Sometimes it felt nice to be hugged.

I bring my stuff back to my room. I share it with five other girls. I'm friendly with all of them. Two run over and hug me, glad to see me back.

"Hey, Lexie!" Jamie calls. "You're back!"

I smile as they are the only family I have ever known. "Yeah," I say. "Just don't let me near your pet fish," I joke with them. There was a rumor going around that I ate one of my foster sister's pet fish once. It wasn't true, but I did nothing to dispel the rumor.

"Lexie!" Jessie screams. She's 5 and my favorite of all. We're best friends, even though I'm older. She's so cute, with her little blond curls and bright blue eyes. She likes to wear little printed dresses. I wouldn't be caught dead in a dress. Give me a pair of jeans or overalls any day.

Jamie is 9 and the big sister I never had. She's real tall with long brown hair. Sometimes we braid each other's hair. Jamie also likes to wear jeans, which is good for me, cuz I get her hand-me downs. There's nothing like a good pair of worn-in jeans. Jamie and I are really good friends; we're always getting into lots of trouble together.

The three of us sit down on my bed and I tell them about my latest adventures. They tell me what's going on around SCH. Same old stuff. I didn't miss anything while I was gone.

The other girls come in and greet me warmly. We all get along but we're not as close as Jamie and Jessie and me. Erin is 8, and Andrea is 7. And Sharon is ten. She's always bossing us around.

Things get back to normal as I get used to being back at SCH. Mr. Trent has to separate Jamie and me one day, as we got caught putting spiders in the classroom. He calls me into the office later that day.

"Lexie, what am I going to do with you?" he asks me. He always asks me the same thing and I never have an answer for him.

"I dunno, Mr. Trent," I say, as usual.

"You know, a gentleman came around the other day looking for a little boy. He's older and his sons are all grown, out of the house and married."

"Yeah? SO?" I asked. This didn't seem like it had anything to do with me. "Did you encourage him to take Mike?"

Mr. Trent shook his head. Mike was 9 and the youngest boy at SCH. "No, he wanted a very young boy."

"Oh, that's too bad. Cuz Mike's pretty nice. And Alex would be happy to have Mike out of his hair, I bet."

"MMM, I bet," Mr. Trent said.

Alex was very cool. He was 16 and the oldest of all of us at Sunrise Children's Home. He practically worked there, though, doing odd jobs for Mr. Trent and Sandy. He was a very cool older brother to all us little ones. He was always there for us. I think I really loved him.

"Well anyway, I considered asking him if he would like a little girl, someone who was kind of a tomboy."

"Yeah, who?" I asked. I knew he meant me, but I wasn't sure I liked the idea, and was not about to make this easy for him.

"Lexie, please. Why do you have to be difficult about everything?"

"OH, I dunno, Mr. Trent. That's just how I am, I guess," I said.

"Well, would you consider just meeting him? Like I said he's a bit older, older than any of the foster fathers you've had in the past. He seems very nice. And he doesn't live that far away," Mr. Trent said.

I knew I really didn't have much of a choice so I nodded. "Sure, if he's willing to try me out, I guess I could give it a shot."

"Good girl," Mr. Trent said. "I'll give him a call."

I went back to my room; relieved to know I wasn't in too big trouble for the spider incident. I saw Jessie. She was packing a bag.

"Hey, squirt, where you going?"

"I'm being placed, Lexie," she told me.

"You are? For good?"

"Well, for a trial basis. The Stevenes. Remember them? I spent Easter with them."

"Yeah, I thought they moved."

"Well, they're back and they want me back," Jessie said, excitedly.

Jessie was a good kid. She had lost her mother a few years before to Cancer, and I felt bad for her. She was a bit mischievous too, but she had a heart of gold. I gave her a big hug.

"I hope it works out," I told her. I would miss her, but I truly wanted her to be happy. That's what we all wanted. Over the years we had seen a lot of kids come and go at SCH. It sorta made you hope that you could be next.

After Jessie left, the place seemed entirely too quiet. I sat on my bed and thought about things. Jamie came over with some crayons and a pad of paper.

"It's Alex's birthday next week," she told me.

"Yeah," I said.

"I'm going to make him a card. You wanna?"

"Sure," I said.

Alex was turning 17. It would be his last year at SCH. Once he turned 18, he would have to leave and find a real job or something. He had lived here his whole life. It was kind of sad. I hoped that didn't happen to me. Maybe someday I would find a real family.

Jamie and I colored for a while, until lights out. I didn't even try to stay up past curfew. I guess I wasn't in the mood to be naughty. And that happens very rarely.

The next day, Mr. Trent called me to his office. I walked in and saw a very tall, older looking man. I was introduced to him. His name was Sam Rifler. He was very good looking with grayish black hair, and blue eyes.

He told me he was a widower. That meant that his wife died, he explained. He had three sons, but they were all married and lived far away. He didn't have any grandkids yet.

Mr. Rifler told me he was an engineer. He explained his work to me and it sounded very cool. Maybe I would be an engineer when I grew up. It sounded like he worked very hard, though. I'm not sure I want to work that hard.

He lived in a great big house, all by himself. He said it was the house he and his wife had raised their kids in. Mr. Rifler said he had thought about moving, but all his memories were there, so he stayed. It had a large swing in the back that could fit two people. I had never seen a swing that big and wanted to see it.

We talked for about half an hour and then he asked me if I would like to spend the weekend with him. He seemed nice enough. And I couldn't wait to check out this house.

"Sure," I said. Hey, I mean, what could I lose?

I quickly packed my bags, gave Jamie a big hug, and took Mr. Rifler's hand. He led me to his car. It was big and white and was called a Cadillac. It was beautiful. I guessed he was fairly rich.

Mr. Rifler pulled up in front of a beautiful, big white house, complete with big white columns. He told me it was called a Colonial. It was cool. Some day, I thought, maybe I would live in a house this big. Like I said, I think he was rich.

There were lots of rooms. We walked by them quickly. Mr. Rifler said he would give me the grand tour later on. He brought me to a room that would be mine for that weekend. It had been one of his sons', he explained to me. It had pale green walls and had stars on the ceiling. It was pretty neat, I thought, but didn't say so out loud. I did NOT want him to think I loved this place. Not yet, anyway.

"Here, put your stuff away in the dresser while I take a shower. Then we can do something together, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," I told him.

As soon as he was gone, I booked out of the room and started checking out all the rooms in the house. Each room was cooler than the next. There were two more bedrooms that had belonged to kids. One room held lots of trophies and stuff. I would have to check those out another time. Another room had a computer, a TV, and some video games. I wanted this room.

"Lexie?"

I jumped. I turned to look at the doorway and there stood Mr. Rifler. He did not have a happy look on his face. "What are you doing in here? I thought I told you to unpack your things."

"Uh, you did, but I, uh, I was looking for the bathroom," I lied.

"I see. Okay, fair enough. I guess I should have shown you where that was. Come, I'll show you," he offered, holding out his hand.

I looked up at him and then back at the computer and the videogames. I guessed I could always come back later.

I followed him down the hall to the bathroom. It was actually right next to my bedroom. I felt kind of stupid. "Oh," was all I said.

"Now after you go, I want you to unpack your things. I will be in to check on you in ten minutes. Got it?"

"Uh huh," I answered.

"Lexie, in this house, you will answer my questions with a 'yes, sir', is that clear?"

I was dumbfounded. Never before did I ever call anyone 'sir'. "Okay," I said. I started for the bathroom. I didn't really have to go, but I figured I had better or he would be suspicious.

"Hold it right there, young lady," he said, pulling me back.

I looked up at him. What the hell was wrong with him anyway?

"What?" I asked.

Mr. Rifler sighed. "How did I tell you to answer my questions, Lexie?"

I thought about giving a snotty answer, but somehow got the feeling he wouldn't appreciate it. "With a 'yes, sir', Sir," I added on.

"That's right. And did you do that?"

I shook my head. "Let's try again, shall we?" he asked.

"Okay," I said. When he frowned, I said, "I mean, yes, sir."

"That's better. You'll learn, Lexie. Now go use the bathroom and then unpack your things. I'll be back to check on you in a few minutes."

So now it was a few minutes. Before it was ten. Whatever. I went in and used the facilities and then came out. I looked at my bag. It would only take a few minutes to unpack. I could do it later.

I headed back down the hall to the room with the computer. I put my hand back and switched it on. I wanted to see what games it had on the desktop. There was Solitaire, Free Cell, Hearts, and Mindsweeper-standard games for a PC.

I was into a great game of Solitaire when I heard someone clearing his throat. I looked up and saw Mr. Rifler in the doorway. I nodded at him and went back to my game. I only needed one more ace at the top and I would win.

"Lexie?"

"Yeah?" I said, distractedly. I only had three more cards in the turnover pile.

Suddenly the screen went dark. "Hey, what'd you do that for?" I snapped. "I was winning."

The next thing I knew I was being hauled up out of the seat. Mr. Rifler was leading me down the hall to my new room. "I see we're going to have to work on your manners, young lady," he said, depositing me on the bed.

He sat down next to me. "Now, what did I ask you to do while I took my shower?" he asked. I then noticed the clean, white shirt he was wearing. His hair was slightly damp and he was wearing cologne. Old Spice, I think.

I looked up at his face. "Um, you said to unpack my bag, uh, sir," I added again. I was beginning to think that the word 'sir' would become part of my new vocabulary.

"Yes, I did. And did you do that, Lexie?"

"No."

He sighed again. I remembered and said, "No, sir."

"And why not, Lexie?"

"I was gonna do it," I whined. "It'll only take me a few minutes. I'll do it right now!"

I started to get up but Mr. Rifler pulled me back down. "No, not now, young lady. Now we're going to have our first lesson in following directions. I can see that they've let you get away with far too much in your young life, and I shall waste no more time dealing with this."

Shall? Was he for real? And what did he mean, anyway? I stared at him. Was he gonna punish me? He could send me to the corner all he wanted; it wouldn't work, not by a long shot. It hadn't worked for anyone before.

"Stand up," he ordered. I didn't move. I wasn't gonna let him boss me around. I would call Mr. Trent and go back to Sunrise Children's Home. I'd tell him it wasn't working out.

When I didn't move, Mr. Rifler sighed again and picked me up, right off the bed. He stood me up next to him and looked into my eyes. "You will learn to mind me, Lexie," he said. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," I said, simply. I didn't think I could get away with not answering the way he wanted me to anymore.

"Now, around here, I am in charge. What I say goes. Do I make myself clear?"

I nodded. He just stared at me. "Yes, sir," I said. I was beginning to hate this man already and I had only been here less than an hour.

"Now, I told you to unpack your bag. I told you to stay put while I went and took a shower. And not once, but twice, I found you down the hall, in a room that you did not have permission to be in. You were also using my computer, something you did not have permission to touch. These are all spankable offenses, young lady."

Spankable? Did he say spankable? What the hell did that mean? I was about to find out. Before I knew what was happening to me, I was being lifted up over Mr. Rifler's lap, facedown.

He raised his hand and brought it down on my bottom. {SMACK!}

Owwwwwwwwww! I thought. Man, that hurt. What the hell was he doing?

"What are you doing?" I screamed. I had never been spanked in my entire life and had no idea what to do about it.

"You are being punished, Lexie. You will learn to mind me," he said, continuing to spank me.

{Smack!} {Smack!} went his hand. "Owwwwwwwwww," I screamed.

{Smack!} {Smack!} {Smack!} {Smack!} {Smack!} {Smack!} {Smack!} {Smack!}
{Smack!} {Smack!} {Smack!} {Smack!} {Smack!} {Smack!} {Smack!} {Smack!}

Mr. Rifler was spanking my bottom, over my jeans. I would find out later that that was not the only way to receive a spanking. This hurt bad enough, anyhow.

"You were {Smack!} {Smack!} told {Smack!} {Smack!} to do something, {Smack!} {Smack!} Lexie, and you {Smack!} {Smack!} didn't do it. {Smack!} {Smack!} Are you ready {Smack!} {Smack!} to listen {Smack!} {Smack!} to me?" {Smack!} {Smack!}

I nodded, which I might add, is very difficult in this position. I had started to cry, even though I didn't want him to see me do it. I never let anyone see me cry.

{Smack!} {Smack!} "What {Smack!} {Smack!} are you supposed {Smack!} {Smack!} to say {Smack!} {Smack!} when I ask {Smack!} {Smack!} you a question?" {Smack!} {Smack!}

"Yes, sir!" I shouted.

{Smack!} {Smack!} "No shouting. {Smack!} {Smack!} But okay, I think you've learned your first lesson." {Smack!} {Smack!}

He stopped. Finally. I couldn't move. My eyes were tearing and my bottom was on fire. I didn't know what to do first.

Mr. Rifler stood me up. I rubbed my bottom. Ow, that smarts. He took out his handkerchief and wiped my eyes. He held it to my nose and said, "Blow."

I blew my nose into it. "Again," he said. I did it again. He put the hanky away.

"Now, I am in charge here. What I say goes. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir," I said simply. I turned away and hid my face. I was embarrassed that he had seen me cry.

"Now how about a nice big hug? To show we're friends again?" he asked, holding out his arms, and smiling.

But I wasn't smiling. "I don't want a nice, big hug. And we're not friends. I don't wanna live here. I don't like it here," I shouted.

"Lexie!" Mr. Rifler warned.

I turned to look at this man I had come to hate in such a short amount of time. "What?" I snapped.

Mr. Rifler sighed. He stood me up again and gave one smack to my bottom. "I think we need to have a talk about the rules here," he said.

I didn't want to hear about the rules. I didn't want to hear him at all. No one in my life had ever spanked me before. And I didn't like it; not one little bit.

"I think you'd better take me back to Sunrise," I told him, politely, through my tears. "It's not gonna work, me and you," I said trying to sound older than my six years.

"It won't work if you don't give it a chance, Lexie," he told me.

"You hit me!" I said loudly, walking a few feet away.

"Come here, Lexie," Mr. Rifler said. I don't know why I did but I went over to him. He said, "I did not 'hit' you, I spanked you. That's what I use as a punishment around here. I know you're not used to that, but you soon will be, if you decide not to mind me. Now I would really like it if you gave us a chance."

I didn't want to, did I? Why would I want to stay with a man who smacked my bottom when I didn't listen to him? I never listened to anyone. I folded my arms across my chest and turned away from him.

"Why don't you think about things for a few minutes?" he suggested. He put me on the bed and quietly left the room.

I sat there crying a little. After a bit, I wiped my eyes and looked around. It sure was a nice room, nicer than I had ever been in before. Did I really want to ruin a chance at living in such a nice house because of a little trouble? After all, I could learn to live with answering "yes, sir" and "no, sir" to have this kind of life.

Besides, what was waiting for me back at SCH? Sure, Jamie was there, and she was fun and all. But Jessie was gone now. I wasn't sure what to do. Just then Mr. Rifler came back into the room.

"Feeling a little bit better, Lexie?" he asked gently.

I nodded slowly. I took a deep breath. "Uh, Mr. Rifler?" I asked.

He turned and looked at me. "Yes, Lexie?"

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you," I said. Never before had I apologized without someone making me. I'm not sure what got into me. It was something about this man. Something about him made me want to stay.

"It's okay, Lexie. You're young and young people make lots of mistakes. I forgive you."

He noticed my perplexed look. Before he had been quite upset with me but now he was so gentle again. I didn't understand.

"Once you're punished, everything's over and you're forgiven again. Clean slate. Okay?"

I nodded. When Mr. Rifler looked at me, I remembered and said, "Yes, sir."

He smiled. "You'll get used to me, just like I'll get used to you. We need some time to get to know one another. All you have to do is try it. Okay?"

"Yes, sir," I said the first time this time.

"You ready to put your things away in the dresser?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," I said, jumping up.

Several minutes later after all my things were put away, Mr. Rifler pulled me up into his lap. We sat this way for a long time, telling each other about our lives. I listened to him tell me tales of his boys when they were growing up and all the trouble they used to get into. I listened as Mr. Rifler told me what the rules were, and what were spankable offenses. I even let him hug me.

"I think we're going to get along just fine, Lexie," he said. "If you follow the rules."

"Yes, sir," I said aloud. In my head I said, "I'll think about it." After all, I couldn't give in that easily, could I?