DSP-- Parody: This Old Man

This Old Man
(to the tune of the well known folk song of the same name)
Copyright © 1999 by Don A. Landhill

This old man, he played one
He played smack-spank on her bum
With a swish-smack paddy-whack
give the girl her due
When she's naughty let her rue.

This old man, he played two
He played smack-spank with a shoe
With a swish-smack paddy-whack
give the girl her due
When she's naughty let her rue.

This old man, he played three
He played smack-spank o'er his knee
With a swish-smack paddy-whack
give the girl her due
When she's naughty let her rue.

This old man, he played four
He played smack-spank more and more
With a swish-smack paddy-whack
give the girl her due
When she's naughty let her rue.

This old man, he played five
He played smack-spank till she'd writhe
With a swish-smack paddy-whack
give the girl her due
When she's naughty let her rue.

This old man, he played six
He played smack-spank with green sticks
With a swish-smack paddy-whack
give the girl her due
When she's naughty let her rue.

This old man, he played seven
He played with her in spanko's heaven
With a swish-smack paddy-whack
give the girl her due
When she's naughty let her rue.

This old man, he played eight
He plays smack-spank when she's late
With a swish-smack paddy-whack
give the girl her due
When she's naughty let her rue.

This old man, he played nine
He played smack-spank with leather fine
With a swish-smack paddy-whack
give the girl her due
When she's naughty let her rue.

This old man, he played ten
He plays smack-spank now and then
With a swish-smack paddy-whack
give the girl her due
When she's naughty let her rue.

-October 1999