A Very Brady Spanking
By Jessie (snowmoonchild@aol.com)
This story is copyright © 2002, all rights reserved
This story is something quite different for me, and my first piece in script form. This has been in my poor twisted mind for a while, so I thought I'd better write it down and get rid of it. Hope it's good for a few laughs.
Oh, and theme song lyrics are welcome! -Jesssie
A Very Brady Spanking
Part One
(Scene opens in the girls' bedroom. Marcia and two less attractive, but still groovy friends are sprawled out on the beds.)
Marcia: We've just got to find someone to sing at the school dance!
Less Attractive Girl 1: All the kids are depending on us!
(Door bursts open and Cindy runs in, waving a newspaper in her hands.)
Cindy: Marthia, look! Davy Joneth ith here! He'th thtaying at the Downtown Hotel while he recordth hith new record!
(The girls squeal, Marcia jumps up and grabs the newspaper from Cindy.)
Marcia: Ooh, look! The little dweeb is right!
Cindy: Hey!
Marcia: Davy Jones is here, in our very own town!
Less Attractive Girl 2: Gee, I wish we could get Davy Jones to sing at our dance!
Marcia: We can!
(Less attractive girls scream with delight.)
Marcia: I'm president of the Davy Jones Fan Club, and when I sent Davy Jones those naked pictures of myself, he wrote back to say that if I ever needed anything, all I had to do was ask!
LAG1: Oh, Marcia! Do you think he will?
Marcia (tosses her hair back): I know he will!
LAG2: Oh, I could just die! Davy Jones!
Cindy: Marthia, you thent thothe naked pictureth to Davy Joneth! Greg thaid he wath taking them for the Thience Club Newthletter! I'm telling Mom!
Marcia: You'd better not, you fucking tattletale!
Cindy: Mom'th gonna thpank you!
(A thud and giggle against the door gets all the girls' attention. Marcia rushes over and pulls the door wide open. Bobby and Peter, obviously listening in, tumble into the room. The girls squeal.)
Cindy: Oh, oh, oh, I'm gonna tell on you too! Mom'th gonna thpank everyone!
(Marcia, grabbing Cindy's nearest curl and yanking her back into the room, slams the door.)
Marcia: I've got a better idea! Get 'em, girls!
(All four girls pounce on the two boys and drag them to their feet. The boys, squealing and struggling, are thrown face down on the beds, their blue jeans and underpants pulled roughly down to below their knees.)
Peter: Let us go!
Bobby: Yeah, we can't be spanked...by *girls*! What would all the guys say?
LAG1: Oh, Marcia! Peter has the cutest dimpled bottom!
Peter (stops struggling): Ya think?
Marcia: Hey, I'll bet if we try, we can spank them to the tune of "Daydream Believer"!
(Marcia and LAG1 begin to spank Peter's bottom, while Cindy and LAG2 go to work on Bobby. Slaps resound over the girls' singing as the boys' bottoms begin to redden until scene fades out... ...New scene opens in Mr. Brady's den. He is seated on his bench, his wife stands nearby with her hands at her hips, as both parents look at Jan, whose eyes are lowered.)
Mrs. B: Jan, are you going to tell us where you got those cigarettes?
Jan: I can't, Mom! I don't want to get anyone in trouble! I promised I wouldn't tell.
Mr. B: Well, you're in plenty of trouble yourself now, young lady. Our daughter, caught smoking behind the bleachers! If you're not going to speak up, then you're going to be punished, right this minute!
Jan (raising her head slowly, eyes lighting up): You mean...I'm going to be...spanked!
(Just then, Marcia and Cindy run into the room.)
Marcia: Dad, Mom, Davy Jones is at the Downtown Hotel! You've just go to take me there, you've just got to! I need to ask him to sing at the dance!
(Mr. Brady jumps to his feet and grabs his car keys. He and Mrs. Brady turn to leave.)
Jan: Hey! What about me?
Mr. B: Jan, your sister needs our help. You've got to stop thinking only of yourself.
Jan: But -
Mrs. B: But, nothing, Jan! Marcia needs us!
(All leave the room in a hurry, except Jan. Jan creeps over to her father's desk, pulls a bottle of Jack Daniels from the bottom drawer, and opens it.)
Jan: I'll show them! I'll show them all!
(Jan takes a huge swig, gasps, takes another, then sinks to the floor to hide under the desk, bottle clutched in her arms... ...worried music as scene changes to the kitchen, where Alice is baking and humming a tune. Bobby and Peter rush in.)
Alice: Hiya, boys!
Peter: Alice, where's Greg?
Alice: Say, you boys look hungry!
Bobby: No, we need to find Greg. (rubs his bottom) We need him to help us get revenge on Marcia!
Alice: How about nice tall glasses of milk?
Peter: Will you listen to us, you silly bitch! Where is Greg?
Alice: Mmm, milk!
Bobby: It's hopeless. Mom said Alice took too many drugs when she was a kid and that's why she's so goofy now.
Alice: I could bake some cookies!
Bobby: She's scaring me!
Alice: Or some brownies!
Peter: Let's get out of here and go find Greg.
(The two boys run from the room.)
Alice: Anyone for some hot crossed buns?
(Music as scene fades to the break.)
A Very Brady Spanking
Part Two
(Opens in the Brady living room, with Mr. and Mrs. Brady sitting on the couch. He holds an open newspaper.)
Mrs. B: Poor Marcia! She had to tell everyone at school today that she couldn't get Davy Jones for the dance! She's upstairs, crying about it.
Mr. B: Yes, well, the kids have to learn that -
(Front door opens. Jan enters, staggering, dressed in very tight jeans and show-all tank top, hair cut short and died bright pink. Close-up reveals tattoo on shoulder, which reads, "Die! Die! Die!")
Mr. B: Jan! Is that you! What have you done to yourself, young lady?
(Jan grins.)
Mrs. B: O-oh, Mike! Look at her! Jan, you're golden hair! I mean, it wasn't as golden as Marcia's, but, still, it was golden, like your mother's, and now! Mike, what are we going to do?
Jan: Well, my boyfriend likes it! That's right, my boyfriend! That's probably him, right now, on the phone!
Mrs. B (leaning toward her husband): I didn't hear the phone. Did you hear the phone?
Jan: It rang! It did! (rushes to phone and lifts it) Oooh, I love you too! (looks at parents, beginning to drool now) It did so ring! (hangs up) And, look! (grabs flowers from nearby vase) He sent me flowers too!
Mr. B (knits his brow): Now, now, Jan, you're not fibbing to us, are you?
Jan: I'm not! I have lots of boyfriends!
Mrs. B: Enough of that, young lady. You march yourself right upstairs and change into a decent dress.
Jan: I'm a slut, I tell you! My name is on every boys' room wall at school!
Mr. B: You keep this up and...
Jan (wide-eyed): YES??
Mr. B: ...and you'll get none of Alice's homemade apple pie for dessert tonight.
(Jan screams, desperately.)
Mrs. B: Wait a minute! Jan, where are your glasses?
Jan: My...? I lost them!
Mrs. B: Oh, Mike!
Mr. B: Jan, you lost your glasses again? What did I tell you would happen if you lost your glasses again?
Jan (glimmer of hope in damp eyes): You...you said you would...spank me!
Mr. B: That's right. Now -
(Interrupted by thuds as the boys come running down the stairs, followed by Marcia.)
Boys: Dad! Dad! Mom! Look! Dad!
(Greg hands his father a poster.)
Mr. B (reading): Davy Jones...school dance...will sing his greatest hits...thanks to Marcia Brady! (looks at Marcia) Young lady, I think you have some explaining to do.
Mrs. B: Oh, Mike!
Marcia (tears welling up): Mom, Dad, I'm sorry! I was sure I could get Davy Jones to sing at the dance! I just couldn't tell everyone I'd failed, I just couldn't!
Mrs. B: Oh, Marcia!
Mr. B: Marcia, that was very naughty. Now, I know you're sorry, but you're still going to have to be punished.
Marcia: I know, Dad.
Jan: What?
(Mr. Brady removes his wide white belt from around his mint green slacks. Takes Marcia by the arm and leads her to a nearby chair, where he sits and pulls her over his lap.)
Jan: What about me? Wait!
Mrs. B: Oh, Jan, not now!
Jan: But why are you spanking Marcia? Why does Marcia always get spanked? Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!
(Mr. Brady pulls Marcia's nylon day-of-the-week panties down to her knee socks, raises the belt, and brings it down on her bottom with a loud SMACK. Jan stomps her feet and runs from the house.)
Marcia: Ow, Dad, that smarts!
(Mr. Brady keeps spanking while Marcia squirms on his lap and the rest of the family looks on.)
Greg: Hey, Dad, that's far out! Can I have a crack at her?
Mrs. B: Oh, Mike, no, he's too young!
Greg (lowers his voice): That's not what you said in your dressing room last night.
Mrs. B: O-o-oh, Greg!
Greg: Come on, Dad! I'm a man now!
Mr. B: Well...I suppose we are a family...and a family that plays together...all right! (rises quickly, Marcia falls to the floor, gasps, rubs her red bum.)
Mr. B: On your feet, Marcia, and lean over the back of the chair.
(Marcia hurrys to obey.)
Peter: Can I use my ping-pong paddle?
Mr. B: Of course!
(Cindy runs down the steps, clutching her doll.)
Cindy: Kitty Karryall wantth to thpank Marthia too!
(Everyone laughs. Begin lining up behind Marcia, taking turns swatting her rear with hands and belts and paddles, etc., while Marcia squirms and cries. Alice enters the room, carrying a pitcher and some glasses on a tray.)
Alice: Anyone for lemonade?
Kids: Me! Me! Me!
(Doorbell rings a number of times. Alice answers it and leads Davy Jones into the living room. Spanking stops and family gasps as they see who it is.)
Cindy: Davy Joneth!
DJ: Uh, that's Jones, actually. Which of you is Marcia Brady?
Marcia (still bent over the chair, crying): I'm Marcia! And you're Davy Jones! Oh, you came! I knew you would!
DJ: Well, how could I say 'no' to such a groovy chick? Are you ready to go to the dance now?
Marcia: Oh, Mom, Dad, can I?
Mr. B: Well, I guess you've learned your lesson...all right, you can go. But you be back here by 10:30!
Marcia: We will, Dad!
(Marcia stands and panties fall down to ankles.)
DJ: You...uh...lost something.
Marcia (kicking off panties, tosses her hair back): Well, I won't be needing those any more tonight anyhow! (takes Davy's hand and pulls him toward the door) 'Bye, everyone!
(As Marcia and Davy leave, Jan enters, waving a pistol.)
Mr. B: Jan, what is the meaning of this? Are you trying to ruin Marcia's big night?
Jan (holds pistol to her own head): I can't take any more! I hate you, hate you all!
Mrs. B: Oh, Mike!
Mr. B: Jan, put down that gun, or it's no lemonade for you, young lady!
(Jan screams.)
Cindy (yelps): Oh, Mommy! Look! (holds up her little finger)
Mrs. B: Cindy?
Cindy: Kitty Karryall bit me!
(All but Jan gather around Cindy, ooh-ing and ah-ing. Jan screams again.)
Jan: No, I can't stand it! I just can't stand it!
(Jan pulls the trigger, but misses her head. Bullet crosses the room and hits Alice, who falls to the floor.)
Family: Oh, Jan!
(Everyone laughs, even Jan, music as scene fades.)
THE END.
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