Dr. A: OKAY! It’s Eight Ball! I call the break! And I got striped balls. *tee-hee*… "striped balls"…

Abortion gives the triangle rack a roll back and forth a few times before centering it in the table. He pulls the triangle up and goes first. He hits the white ball with the cue stick and the triangle of balls go immediately flying off in all directions, with the 8-Ball soundly falling into a pocket.

Dr. A: HORRAY! I win!

Payton: What? That’s not how you play Eight Ball Billiards. YOU LOST.

Abortion takes the cue stick and cracks it over Payton’s head. Thus Dr. Abortion wins the argument.

Deadman Inc: I thought you said you WEREN’T just coming here to play Billiards.

Dr. A: Look, it’s pretty clear that Mr. Boddy and/or the murderer played billiards in the moments leading up to the vicious bloodshed. We have to get into the mindset of the victim and/or killer, in order to understand the crime. They also probably drank lots of brandy, which is why I am doing that!

He downs half a bottle of Hennessey.

Payton: *rubbing head* … What the hell did you do that for?

Payton, still a newcomer to the game, feels like he needs to prove himself. His allies in the UWF have been trying to convince him to confront others. He takes this lesson to heart, and pushes Dr. Abortion down in retaliation. The Doc from DC goes stumbling into a bunch of chairs and twists his ankle. He immediately jumps up, brushes himself off, and no-sells it.

Dr. A: That didn’t happen. Nobody saw that. My… *aggghhh-sweet Jesus!* … ankle is fine!

Jessica Alba: What didn’t happen? I didn’t see anything at all! *winks*

Dr. A: Exactly.

Deadman Inc: Exactly what? Who the hell are you talking to?

Dr. A: Hahaha, you loser, Deadman. I mean why would you even bother paying attention to the hot naked woman laying erotically on the pool table when you wouldn’t know what to do with her anyway?

Jessica Alba: You can say that again, my lover.

She "says" right before she sensually licks the tip of a cue stick and starts coyly rolling around the balls on the table.

Deadman Inc: What is he talking about?

Payton turns to Deadman with a blank stare and the two just shrug at one another.

Not long after that, the door opens and Stan Daniels walks in with Jeeves.
(Easter Egg: No, the butler will not be named 'Wadsworth')
Stan Daniels: Hey mates, sorry to interrupt. But the staff here at the house figured out how we’re going to run the naming system here. We’re just heading from room to room to all the different groups to let them know.

Jeeves: Yes, each group of three will be given three names, and it’s up to you all to decide who gets what name. Your group will get… let’s see now… “Mrs. Scarlett,” “Mr. Brown,” and “Lady Lavender.”

Deadman Inc: What? Two female names? We’re all guys. Well, I can’t speak for the others.

Jessica Alba: HEY! What do you mean we’re are guys?

Dr. A: Well, I think we all know who Mr. BROWN is going to be. Am I right?

He gestures towards Payton.

Payton: What? What is that supposed to mean? Why you racist-

Dr. A: So, you’d prefer Lady Lavender instead?

Payton: *grumbles*… Okay. I’m Mr. Brown.

Stan Daniels: Crikey, and by the way. All the groups are going to take turns looking at the body closely. We just don’t want all of you mates ogling over it at the same time. Evidence is bound to be ruined with everybody standing around at once. The 11 other wrasslers will give the murderer the perfect chance to destroy some valuable evidence if there are so many people that we can’t keep an eye on everyone. So the house staff will let you know when it’s your team's turn so that you can continue investigating while being closely watched by the house staff. Anyway – have fun choosing your names!

And thus Stan and Jeeves leave and lock the Billiard Room door behind them. No doubt they’re off to tell the other three groups the same information.

Deadman Inc: Damnit! They locked the door. We’re stuck in here until they call on us.

Dr. A: Well no use whining about it, Lady Lavender.

Deadman Inc: That’s not my name! If you call me that again… they’ll be HELL TO PAY.

Dr. A: I’m sorry, but Ms. Scarlett is totally over like clover. Ms. Scarlett is perhaps the most over Clue character of them all. She’s like a dirty whore and everything. So I got dibs on Miss Scarlett. Which makes you Lady Lavender.

Deadman Inc: I’m taking the male name and that’s final.

Payton: I don’t think so.

Dr. A: I don’t even want the male name. Miss Scarlett is so much cooler. In fact, I demand to put on a sparkling ruby ballroom gown and deep crimson whore lipstick.

Payton: I don’t think that’s something you should have said aloud.

Jessica Alba: I’d let you borrow my dress, Dr. A. Too bad I’m totally naked. *giggles*

Deadman Inc: I am NOT taking a girl name!

Payton: I’m not either.

Dr. A: Okay, I’m a neutral party. How about I flip a coin? Deadman, tell me what you’re going to call.

Deadman Inc: Heads.

Dr. A: Of course that’s what you’d tell me. Because Deadman tells no Tails.

Everyone: *groans*

Dr. A: Here we go!

Dr. A flips a coin into the air, and then ignores the coin and instead grabs a nearby wrench and clobbers Deadman Inc in the side of his skull with it. Deadman immediately falls face-first onto the billiards table, out cold.

Jessica Alba: EEEEEKKKK!

Dr. A: Get out from between my woman’s legs, Pervo Inc!

Dr. A pushes him off the table.

Payton: What woman?

Dr. A: Excuse me?

Payton: And what happened to that coin you flipped? I never saw it come down.

Dr. A puts his arms around Payton’s shoulders.

Dr. A: let me tell you a story about the little lie called “gravity” that “the man” wants us all to believe.