Alias: “Ms. C”
Relation: Ms. Contraceptive was Dr. Abortion’s long time significant other; they met at Johns Hopkins, where she became a registered nurse
Ms. Contraceptive has been one of the biggest assets (hehe... assets) throughout Dr. A’s career. Hooking up before they entered the "slamming" industry, the two hit it off and became a couple, though they have never gone through any formal engagement or marriage. When Dr. Abortion became a slammer, Ms. C was along his side again. Sweet, innocent and nice – she seemed to define everything that Dr. A was not. Her innocence made her attractive to other slammers in the iUIWA, who wanted her away from the big, bad, abusive abortion doctor. For a short time Ms. C had an on-and-off again relationships with iUIWA slammer Bunyip, a dirty, filthy Australian. Yet the majority of the time she stuck by Dr. A, no matter how cruel and evil he acted. She put up with his hijinks and abusive behavior; often apologizing to the rest of the fed for his actions and trying to convince everyone that he wasn’t really mean like that. Ms. C helped push Dr. A to the top, even though the two seemed to be vastly different. After Dr. A learned of Ms. C’s second fling with Bunyip, he assaulted her in the ring during a match, in front of dozens of iUIWA fans (yep I said dozens, come on it’s an indy fed – and therefore not very popular). Ah, spousal abuse! Dr. A’s two long-time midget buddies Roe & Wade reappeared in his life and bailed Dr. A out of jail after he was arrested for beating her. Ms. C was sent to a battered woman’s home, where she disappeared for some time.
Yet maybe Ms. C wasn't as innocent as she seemed. After going to the CRF and being in a long feud with Pestilence, Dr. Abortion suddenly became “friends” with Pesty (not in a gay way). Little did Pestilence’s know, but Ms. C was behind the whole plan. CRF cameras planted in a hotel room (damn those nosey CRF cameras) caught the then unknown-to-the-CRF Ms. Contraceptive and Dr.A in a grand plot, involving Pestilence, his girlfriend Sarah, a kidnapping scheme, and lots of evil. Her indy days of being a sweet, innocent girl was just a ploy. The previous abuse by Dr. A was all faked! Ms. C began to appear alongside the evil Dr. A on CRF TV, but as time rolled by it became all too apparent that she was not just a valet. She was the one in control. When Dr. A was indecisive on an issue, Ms. C forced his decision; when Ms. C needed something done, the doc was ordered. To the CRF it was obvious that Ms. C was the puppet master pulling the strings of Dr. A the whole time; he made no decisions on his own. Ms. Contraceptive was the power behind the doc, and she was unwilling to let that power go, ever. She used her genius to plot evil plans, her persuasiveness to morph decisions, and her sex appeal to woo slammers and referees into distraction, allowing Dr. A to cheat to win.
Ms. C faked her death along with Roe, Wade and Dr. A to get out of their CRF contract. When Dr. A made his debut in Wrassle[dot]Net, revealing that their deaths were faked, he brought Ms. C, Roe and Wade with him to the SHOW. She was still the manipulative character she was before - only now even more sluttily evil. As part of her sluttiness, she continued to sleep with others – notably Dr. A’s then-tag partner, Whitelight. The failing partnership between Dr. A and Whitey soured even more with the revelation, leading Dr. A to finally strike back at the woman in control. Dr. A reached this last straw in the relationship when it was revealed that Ms. C was PREGNANT! Dr. A assumed the baby belonged to Whitelight, but Ms. C went into hiding and the question was left unanswered… until the Evil vs. Evil match with Prototype!
The day in-between the Evil vs. Evil ring match and rap-off battle, Dr. A learned that Ms. C was in the same city – and was going into labor. Knowing that his credibility as a baby butcher and the ultimate heel would be doubted if he couldn’t even stop his own girlfriend and valet from having a baby, Dr. A decided that the baby must die! He fled to the hospital to terminate the baby before it was born. But Dr. A was too late - the baby was delivered… and mulatto! At first it was thought that Wade was the father, but it was later revealed to probably be SPX. The child was eventually thrown in a river and adopted by Native Americans in the vast Canadian wilderness. Neither Ms. Contraceptive, nor her child, have been seen or heard from since Evil vs. Evil.
When Dr. Abortion made a 2004 comeback (without Ms. C) he stated that Ms. Contraceptive had become a slutty whore pornstar. Whether this was true or just Dr. A trying to defame her is unknown. Since Ms. C’s departure, Dr. A has not had a singular vision, a coherent plotline, and his wrestling skills have vastly decreased. The Doc’s initial attempt at a comeback failed in about a month, and his second comeback was guided by financial need instead of a desire to rise to the top. For the first several years of Dr. A’s career, Ms. C was the evil mastermind, the architect, and the brains of Dr. Abortion. Without Ms. C, Dr. A is widely considered a has-been and is not taken as a serious threat. Despite this fact, Dr. A had no plans on reconciliation with his once-love. Ms. Contraceptive would have a final short appearance in 2006 during Dr. A's identity crisis storyline, documented at the end of this page (see below).
Alias: “Midget 1”
Relation: Ex College buddy of Dr. A
Though Roe and Wade were similar in a number of ways, it became apparent after a while that Roe was the “slightly dumber midget” in the group (The Beavis instead of the Butthead… though sometimes it was sold the reverse way). Roe grew up on the “mean streets” of a heavily guarded, crimeless, upper-middle class military base. He went off to College at Johns Hopkins where he was randomly given two roomates that ended up being Dr. A and Wade. It was a total coincidence that Roe just happened to be put in a room with another African American midget who's name contrasts his in a supreme course case about abortion, stuff like that just happens sometimes.
Roe was in the school of midget studies at Hopkins, but failed out. He was left with no other alternative but to move to a poor residence in DC and start selling Coke on the streets. Unfortunately, he did not quite get the idea – he sold Coca-Cola, and business was horrible except for in a few months in the summer when it was hot and people were REALLY PARCHED. He lost touch with Dr. A, but maintained a relationship with Wade.
After several years of separation, Roe & Wade heard that their old friend Dr. Abortion had been arrested. The two put together the money they had and bailed Dr. A out of jail. The doc was so grateful that he let the two become his new valets, what with Ms. C no longer an option, being off in a battered woman’s shelter and all. Yet the doc probably didn’t do this out of the kindness of his heart, he probably just realized how cool it was to exploit midgets in wrestling. Roe got his big break and made it into the world of slamming, as he had always wished. Dr. A gave him opportunities to interfere in matches by distracting referees and opponents. Roe and Wade became fan favorites, because midgets are over.
After a while there was a breakup in the Dr. A/midget relationship, and Roe joined Wade in a quest to find Allah in the Nation of Islam. Roe didn’t really understand the religion at all or care for it much, but he wanted to be loyal to his friend Wade. Eventually, Roe and Wade were separated in a trip to Mecca, and Roe went back to the US to hang out with his old buddy Dr. A again. Wade returned later a changed man and the group was back together again. When Wade “died,” Roe learned that “Team Abortion” was to inherit the millions of dollars Wade surprisingly had. Yet to get the money, the group had to deliver the body to Peru, which ended up being quite a hard task. On the way back from Peru, the plane that he and Dr. A were in crashed. Stranded in the Andes Mountains, Dr. A ate him. Mmmm-MMMMM, BITCH!
Later it was revealed that none of this happened of course. Roe, Wade, Ms. C and Dr. A weren't really dead. Roe and Wade came back with Dr. A for his arrival in Wrassle[dot]Net. Unfortunately, now allied with Whitelight, and focusing his attentions on gold and Ms. C, Roe was pushed to the side. Dr. A fired him and he and Wade went to go work at a Jiffy Lube. There they ran into Soundpirate and joined his crew, out to plunder booty. After Dr. A separated with his Dedication Title-Carrying lackey, Baby Bubba, Roe and Wade rejoined Dr. A and Ms. C. When Ms. C's relation with the doc started to fall apart and a pregnancy was revealed, she was banished and Roe and Wade were pushed to the forefront even more. Roe remained a significant part of "Team Abortion" until the Evil vs. Evil event in July 2002. At that point, he betrayed Dr. A to help save Ms. Contraceptive’s child, which was thought to be Wade’s. After the baby was lost, he reluctantly realigned himself with Dr. A, though he and Roe secretly plotted to kill the doctor, disguised as random Abortion clinic bombers (the disguise didn’t work, as 4-feet tall midgets don’t blend in well). Upon learning that the baby was not actually Wade’s, Roe halted his attempts to kill the doc. Soon after, Dr. A was shot and presumed dead until his 2004 return.
Roe did not return with Dr. A in 2004 though, and the Doc announced that Roe and Wade were dead, giving no further explanation or details of how the death may have occurred. Despite a few rough spots, Roe had generally gotten along with Dr. A better than Wade. He liked animals and had been known to keep an ant farm, even though ants did not give him any special powers. It’s not that relevant, but he always called Dr. A "Doc" (simply as another unique thing to try and make the midget characters more distinguishable). An interesting addition that Proto added to Roe was that his middle initial of "J" stood for Judas (although people often confused the two midgets and I'm not sure how consistant this was - a couple of times it may have been sold that that was Wade's middle name, since his initial was "J" as well).
Roe (and Wade, for that matter), appeared several times during the 2006 Dr. Abortion indentity crisis (see below).
Alias: “Midget 2”
Relation: Ex College buddy of Dr. A
Wade showed himself to be the more intelligent of the two friends/small little trolls of Dr. Abortion. Perhaps this was just because his better circumstances and fortune in life. Wade never told anyone of his mysterious background. It appears as if Wade had a source of income through his family, yet he never gave any details. Wade also had some early interests in the world of slamming… but never really showed it until he lived with Roe, who continually talked about how he wanted to be a slammer. Wade’s financial abilities allowed him to go to Johns Hopkins, where he met Dr. A, Roe and Ms. C. He showed interest in the School of Medicine, but like Roe decided that since he’s a midget he should go into the totally real program of Midget studies.
Stan Wade graduated, unlike Roe, and moved into the academia of Midgetology (which has had an unfortunate decline in recent years). He kept in touch with his good old buddy Roe yet lost touch with Dr. Abortion. He tried to get in contact but failed. Wade earned a steady salary working his midget job (its up to you to guess what exactly he did on that job), yet he was not happy with his midget life. Then he got a call from Roe, and his life was to change. Roe told Wade that Dr. A had been arrested, and that they should bail him out. As the more financially responsible one, Wade paid most of the money and the friendship with Dr. A was reestablished.
Wade started to get TV time as one of the interfering midgets along with Roe in Dr. A’s iUIWA matches. After the doc’s personality caught the eye of the CRF, Wade followed him there. But not before Wade paid for a big-ass party in Tijuana. In the CRF he continued his tasks of averting attention and intruding on card matches. With Roe, Wade became a sort of semi-celebrity due to American society’s massive craving for more ludicrous and comical midgets. Wade enjoyed his life and his new found fame, but as a complex man he still felt like something was missing from his life- he turned to religion. Plus he was turned into a giant rat by Pagan, but I won't talk about that.
Wade chose to join the Nation of Islam (becoming WADE X), feeling that his people (no… not midgets) had been looked over and not given the shots they deserved. Dr. A, who is not Mr. Culturally-Sensitive, quickly began to despise the midgets and fight with them. Roe continually called Dr. A a “white devil,” which didn’t help either. Wade X recruited Roe into the Nation, but was saddened by Roe’s lack of knowledge in the beliefs. Yet he still trusted him as a friend. Under Wade’s leadership… Roe and Wade formed a Tag Team called PEN15. The two never won tag gold, however, their combined efforts in a Handicap Midget Intercontinental Matchup lead Roe and Wade to become the Intercontinental Champion of the CRF over Vader.
After losing the gold, Wade felt it would be a good time to go on his religiously required trip to Mecca. Wade took Roe and the two left the CRF for the pilgrimage. Wade and Roe were separated and Roe eventually returned to the states while Wade continued on. Spending time with other Muslims, he realized how distorted the Nation of Islam’s teachings were. Just like Malcolm X! WOW! How original! Wade returned to the United States and mended the relationship with Dr. A and Roe, once again becoming a flunky.
Yet Roe’s defiance of the Nation of Islam led the Nation to send gunmen after him to kill him. Hmm... eerily familiar again. Wade seemed to be in constant fear of his life for his "last days," and rightfully so. Wade was found dead during a Funhouse Brawl match with Dr. A, shot in the back. No one knows for sure who did it- but the Nation of Islam sure looks suspicious. UNLESS, OF COURSE, Wade wasn't really dead at all.
Which he wasn't. Wade came back with Dr. A in the SHOW and the party began once again. Most of the details after that are already explained in the Roe bio, so there is no need to repeat them again. The two stood by Dr. Abortion until the Evil vs. Evil event in Wrasslepalooza. For the first match, Roe and Wade were still allied with Dr. A, attempting to break into Proto’s lair and perform evil deeds. While doing this, Wade ate an AIDS cookie and was infected with the incurable disease. But after Ms. Contraceptive delivered a child of mixed race, Wade was thought to be the father and wanted to save his child from Dr. Abortion, who would surely kill it. Wade turned against Dr. A in the final EvE event, and tried to escape with his child, who was eventually lost down a river. Wade pretended to reluctantly rejoin the Doc after this, but actually was leading Roe in a scheme to get revenge by killing Dr. Abortion. When the baby was revealed to belong to SPX though, Wade was ready to make amends.
Wade (along with Roe and Ms. Contraceptive) did not return with Dr. A for his 2004 and 2005 comebacks. Dr. A claimed that Wade was now dead, but had not given any details. However, that story proved to be false...
In late July 2006, Dr. A was kidnapped by a mysterious man, who eventually unmasked to declare that he was the "REAL" or "ORIGINAL" Dr. Abortion, and that the retooled post-2004 Doctor Abortion was a fake. For the month of August 2005, the two Doctor Abortions fought one another, trying to prove who the real Doctor Abortion was. In one tag match with Dr. Abortion and his partner, Killall, two midgets appeared on the entrance ramp pretending to be their opponents. They were, in fact, actually Roe and Wade! Roe and Wade had finally proven themselves not to be dead - yet however teamed up with the Dr. Abortion who had said that they were. The Dr. A who claimed he was the original, was angered by Roe and Wade siding with the other doc. The two midgets were used as henchmen for the supposedly "new" Dr. A, and joined the doc in his base of operations - the boiler room (which he moved to after swerving Killall, the AoD, and teaming up with Juan Shan).
In their last appearance as the Doc's henchmen, they came out with "new" Dr. A to support him in a debate with the other Dr. A. The event, moderated by Killall, quickly turned from a debate into a bloody battle. In the chaos, Ms. Contraceptive made a startling return, and vowed to reveal who the true Dr. Abortion was. She showed old video clips, dating as far back as 2000... which provided hints as to who the real Doc was. Eventually, it was proven that the man who claimed he was the original Dr. Abortion was no liar - and actually was! The new Dr. A was a usurper!
Yet Ms. C's revelation was not meant to help the original Doc. Quite the opposite, in fact. She noted how she had invented the Dr. Abortion character, and how she was the one that constantly managed his career and made him into a star through her cunning and genious - not his. However, when she got pregnant - Dr. A became jealous and wanted to kill the baby. Ms. C, believing her child killed during the Evil v. Evil event, came back for one last bit of revenge on Dr. A. She noted that it was actually herself who owned all the rights to the Dr. Abortion name, gimmick, characters, merchandise, and everything about him. She officially handed over ownership to the "imposter" Dr. Abortion, which by default legally made him the REAL Dr. Abortion! This completely destroyed the career of the original Dr. A, who could now only call himself "James Babicila." With James' life destroyed and name taken away from him, Ms. C smugly walked away... never to return again. At least we believe.
Soon after, one of the New Dr. Abortion's first acts with ownership of character rights was to fire Roe and Wade, and permanantly retire their characters forever (although his partner, Juan Shan, suggested that they be replaced with two sexy light-skinned girls). Thus as quickly as the three re-entered the storyline of Dr. Abortion after 4 years of abscence, they also dissapeared. It is unlikely that any of the three will return again... although technically the Retooled Dr. A still owns the rights to the characters and could simply hire new people to play Ms. C, Roe and Wade if he wanted. As of yet, he has given no indication that he would do so.
Alias: "Hollywood Starlets"
Relation: They have relations with Dr. A all the time
With the dissapearance of Ms. Contraceptive, Roe and Wade from the retooled Dr. Abortion's storylines, Dr. A has lacked constant physical allies to stand at his side. However, as this Dr. Abortion is also horrifically twisted and insane, he fills the lonliness left without them by having imaginary girlfriends all around him. The girls are different much of the time, but regulars have included Jessica Alba (including "Naked Jessica Alba dressed up as an Indian - a perplexing contradiction of insanity as she was both naked and dressed up at the same time), Natalie Portman, Charlize Theron, Scarlett Johansson, Naked Amanda Bynes (always with "Naked" affixed to the beginning of her name), Kate Beckinsale, Keira Knightley, and a host of others. On occasion, Dr. A has had imaginary male associates or, for a short time, an imaginary friend named Engrish Joe - a fish that spoke bastardized Japanese English. Despite these occasionally occurances, the delusions are mainly female.
Ms. Contraceptive
aka: Stephanie Contraceptive, RN
Height: 5’10”
Weight: 135 lbs
Move[s]: Distracting the Referee (usually by telling him she wants to have sex with him), handing Dr. A syringes.
Roe
aka: Jermain J(udas) Roe
Height: 4’0”
Weight: 85 lbs
Moves: Ankle hit, Knee hit, Calf hit, Thigh hit, Low Blow, Trip Up, Grab onto leg and hold on tight!
Accomplishments: CRF Co-Intercontinental Champion
Biography
Wade
aka: Stanley J. Wade, Midget
Height: 4’1”
Weight: 85 lbs
Moves: Same as Roe’s above… only he eventually gave all of his moves Islamic Names. (ie: the Muhammad Low Blow)
Accomplishments: CRF Co-Intercontinental Champion (as Wade)
The Imaginary Girlies
Heights: Various
Weights: No fatties
Moves: Only sexual positions
Accomplishments: Having sex with Dr. A