Lance Striker: Ugh… my frigging head.

Dr. A: Oh come on, I didn’t hit you that hard. Enough chatter though. Time to switch identies. You’re Mrs. Peacock now, and I take over Mr. Green from you. So now Peacock, tell me what you’ve done so far so that I may follow up on your leads and continue where you left off. Because I clearly would care about things like that.

Lance “Mrs. Peacock” Striker: Why should I tell you anything? You could have just asked politely instead of hitting me with a-

But too eager to talk, James spills the beans himself. Not Jequirity beans though.

James Randall: -We found Mr. Boddy’s will. It looks like he was about to re-do it, but then he got killed before he could. Oh! Then I found this secret passage by pulling this lever and I heard some people talking! One of the guys had a deep voice and he sounded like a large guy, and the other was kind of whiney! They said that they were going to lay low until the cops had arrested one of the Wrasslers, who would take the fall for what they really did!

Mrs. Peacock: Yeah, murder the Butler. That’s a real effective way of “laying low.”

James Randall: Then they said that they planned out the murder so well that people would have to be geniuses to figure out that it was them.

Dr. “Mr. Green” Abortion: Hrm… yes… geniuses. It sounds like a genius indeed will be needed to solve this. Even an educated doctor such as myself is not smart enough to solve this. Let’s see… the guy who sounded like he was big man. Why, if only there was some sort of openly hostile jerk who also happened to be an incredibly fat Doorman who completely oversold his shock and sadness at Mr. Boddy’s death. Then we’d have a suspect. Of course, that doorman would also have to do zany thinks like assign us fake code names and places to investigate – but then make us abandon our investigations and switch our names around in an attempt to make us all lose momentum in our searches by having someone else take them over, thus actually slowing us all down and buying time. It’s too bad there is nobody like that in this house. Nobody at all.

James Randall: -Ooo! And then later, when I got a boost up to see through the holes… I saw a Police Officer hanging around in the Dining Room. I don’t know why he was in there, and maybe he had a reason to be, but he just seemed really suspicious to me. I don’t know why. I didn’t get a good look at his face though, sorry.

Mr. Green rubs James’s head, as if he were a little dog.

Mr. Green: Aww… thank you very much, little dying boy! You’ve been very helpful! Be very glad that after I, the great Dr. Abortion, solve this murder and win this Barroom Brawl, that you will have had a little – very, very little – part in it! Soon, when your posterior cranial fossa has swelled so much from anaplastic degeneration that you live in unbearable pain from the edema… your singular one thought will be for the sweet release of death. However, somewhere subconsciously, you will also be thinking about how lucky you were to have ever met me.

James’s face goes white.

Mrs. Peacock: -STOP! Just leave the poor kid alone!

Mr. Green: You know, it’s not to late for a 50th Trimester Abortion if you want to take the less painful way out! I’ll get my coat hanger.

Mrs. Peacock: Okay, we told you what we’ve found so far. Now we’re going to leave so that we can go and talk to Law Martin about what he found out when he was Mrs. Peacock so I can follow up on him. I suggest you help Stormtrooper out because he’s the new Miss Scarlett.

Mr. Green: Oh, well you’re supposed to team up with Scarlett to search, aren’t you? You can tell him for me! You see, I saw this trail of rose pedals leading to the bathroom. Thinking this was a clue, I followed it. But then when I went inside I got ambushed by Natalie Portman, Katie Holmes and Britney Spears From 5 Years Ago When She Was Hot. It was obviously a clever trap set by them to catch me. I decided I would need to interrogate them each one by one, and then all together at the same time, in the soapy hottub. And what an interrogation it was! After I was finished, I came to the realization that they were all guilty… guilty of loving me too much!

Mrs. Peacock: So in other words… I’ll tell him NOTHING, right? Because you didn’t do anything.

Peacock and James Randall sigh and head off to talk to Law and learn what he may have found. Then they talk with Stormtrooper. After chatting, the three leave together in the direction of the Study. Eventually, Law Martin wanders over to the Doc.

Law “Mrs. White” Martin: So, I guess it’s us two then, huh?

Mr. Green: Yes Mrs. White, yes it is.

Mrs. White: Well, if we’re going to have to work together to clear our names, then we might as well cooperate instead of work against one another.

Mr. Green: I totally agree! And so does Mr. Wrench!

Dr. A swings the wrench at him, but Law blocks it.

Mrs. White: That’s NOT what I mean by “cooperate.” Look, let me show you what I’ve done so far. I’ve decided to make TRADING CARDS for everyone in this house!

Mr. Green: What?

Mrs. White: Let me explain. See, there are a whole lot of people in this house. I’ve decided to make cards for all of them we've met so far to keep track of them and have handy bits of information for reference. Like these for instance.

He pulls two out as an example.

Mr. Green: How did you make those? Are you carrying an invisible printing press around with you?

Mrs. White: Look, that’s not important. What is important is solving this murder. And you know where I think we should check next?

Mr. Green: Evangeline Lilly’s panties?

Mrs. White: NO! The Lounge! Where Mr. Boddy was actually MURDERED!

Mr. Green: Oh right.

Now, James Randall never said where Mr. Boddy was killed, just that it was up the flight of stairs and through some double doors. Where did those double doors lead? To the Lounge, I say!

Green and White make their way up the stairs and creak through the double doors. Mr. Boddy’s corpse is long gone, with a chalk outline and pool of blood being the only signs that someone was killed here. Well, not really a chalk outline, since the room is carpeted. But some sort of outline, trust me.

Mr. Green: So, this is the rich man’s lounge, huh? Pretty snazzy. I bet that fireplace over there was where he burned the runaway girls that he kidnapped.

Mrs. White: What are you talking about?!

Mr. Green: Well, I mean… there has to have been a motive for someone to kill him. And it was obviously retaliation for him killing runaway girls that he picked up on the streets. I mean he WAS RICH! I know that’s what I’d do if I was rich.

Mrs. White: I think you need actual evidence before you propose things like that, Doc.

Mr. Green: Meh, I suppose the motive for killing him could have been that “rewriting his will” thing.

Mrs. White: What’s this now?

Mr. Green: Mr. Boddy was re-writing his will before he got murdered. He never got to the actual part where he delineated who would get what though.

Mrs. White: I bet some of the house staff expected to be included in the will. But what if one of them found out they weren’t? Now that’s a reasonable motive.

Mr. Green: Yes, and even though they all have alibis, maybe one of them was the one James heard behind discussing the murder. The other guy could have been one of the Wrasslers! Maybe even YOU.

Mrs. White: It wasn’t me! See look, the card says so.

Mr. Green: You made the cards, asshat. WAIT! Do you have one for me?

Mrs. White: I’d rather not say.

Mr. Green: BAH! Lemme see!

Mrs. White: NO! STOP!

Dr. Abortion grabs at Law’s pockets and grabs the deck. As they fight over it, the cards go flying all over. Dr. A gets on his knees on the floor and starts sorting through them until he finds…

Mr. Green: “INSANE?” “PRETENDS to have girlfriends?” I don’t think these cards are very accurate.

Evangeline Lilly: You tell him Dr. A!

Mr. Green: Who asked you? And despite what anyone says, Maggie Grace is hotter than you.

*THWOMP*

He knocks her out. Although Law just sees Dr. A swinging at and arguing with air as he goes down to pick up all of his cards that spilled over the floor. One of the cards had flown out and slid under Mr. Boddy’s large red chair. Law doesn’t see this one and collects all of the cards but that one. So a card remains missing. Hrm, I wonder if that will have to do with anything.
(Coming here after reading Part 5? Good try - but think again!)
Mrs. White: Uhmm… how about we look for some clues or something now, huh?

Mr. Green: Sounds good to me.