Back to index of unarchy, justice, politics and education pages by Donald Sauter.

Here's another education rant but don't worry - this one's teensy-weensy compared to my page on Maryland's insane MSPAP test. I know Maryland state leaders and educators could not possibly discern the angry sarcasm and fathom the points I try to make in my "letter to the editor" below, but maybe it will give other states pause before going cuckoo like Maryland.

My letter responds to an article which appeared in the Prince George's County Gazette newspapers: "[Governor] Glendening signs school board restructuring bill, 130 others" (May 9 2002). One section said:

"The so-called Thornton Commission plan to increase [state] education spending by $1.3 billion a year after a six-year phase-in period is among the most expensive bills ever passed by the legislature. It includes a 34-cents-a-pack cigarette tax hike on June 1 [2002] that will generate about $100 million this year and $70 million a year in future years - not nearly enough to pay for the long-term costs of the plan.

"The Thornton law will force local school boards to offer all-day kindergarten in all schools by the 2007-2008 school year and provide pre-school services for at-risk 4-year-olds."

This $1.3 billion per year was legislated for an "adequately" funded education system in Maryland. Our grand and glorious - but now-defunct - MSPAP test was used to derive that figure. An extra $1.3 billion per year was the magic bullet for getting 70% of the students to pass the MSPAP test. Are we supposed to :) or :( ?

I have yet to write up my web page laying out my thoughts on public education. I have made my point in my MSPAP page that there has been no correlation between increased money spent and increased student performance in recent decades. (Actually, in Prince George's County, there has been a very strong correlation - unfortunately negative.) I will argue that there are no problems with public education that don't have simple solutions, the main ones being the elimination of automatic grade advancement, and getting the trouble-makers permanently out of the classrooms. In general, I would transfer control of the schools back from the kids to the adults. None of those actions would require an infusion of new money.

Here's my letter (May 23 2002):

Dear Gazette,

In your article "Glendening signs school board restructuring bill, 130 others", you discussed the 34-cents-a-pack cigarette tax hike which will be used to fund the $1.3 billion per year increase in state education spending. This is all well and good, since I don't have a tobacco habit to support, but there is one small remaining problem - namely, a $1.2 billion per year shortfall.

Not to worry, I have the solution for that - a $1000 per year tax on every tv set you own. Who could gripe about that? It works out to less than $3 a day for your television fix. Admittedly, this might strain some budgets, but if the tv collection has to be downsized in some households, well, there would be that much more time for homework! And the best part of this idea is that I don't even own a tv!

I haven't worked out the numbers precisely, but if there is any money left over, it can be put toward all-day pre-K, all-day pre-pre-K, all-day nursery, all-day advanced post-natal, all-day early post-natal, and all-day pre-natal - while money supplies last.

Raising kids is such a drag, anyhow, and government knows best.

In a nice coincidence, on the page facing my letter was an editorial by Maryland state delegate Thomas R. Hendershot reaching heights of ecstasy over the new school funding. I wish my letter had been placed right alongside his. Hendershot gushes:

"At long last, it appears the legislature has embraced its constitutional obligation to provide adequate education resources for all Maryland's children. A measure to fundamentally change public education funding formulas will, over five years, improve state public school funding by $1.3 billion annually. Funding in our county will improve by $33.5 million this year (over an already programmed $34 million increase) and by $350 million in the final year, 2008. While the state's action is long overdue, the magnitude of the commitment cannot be overstated. When fully realized, it will be the most significant investment in children of the modern era. Maryland is the only state in the United States improving public school spending, while others are reducing school aid by more than $11 billion nationally.

"The infusion to our school system may begin to reverse the chronic underfunding of the past 20 years. Nothing could be more significant for our children and for our country's future."

As usual, nary a word about how all this loot will increase the word and math skills of Maryland students. I have seen charts (but unfortunately do not have them anymore) showing how the spending per student has skyrocketed in Prince George's County, Maryland, over the last couple of decades. Where are the positive results from that? What is the connect between money spent and learning? What imaginable resources are missing from our schools? (For the record, I'm certain our elementary schools would do better by throwing out all that computer equipment. Elementary school is about basic word and number skills.) Will bigger, fatter, heavier, glossier, and more eye-achingly colorful text books make kids learn more?

Will increasing a teacher's pay magically increase his ability to get knowledge to stick in his students' brains? Will increasing the Prince George's County school system CEO's salary make kids smarter? How? (The first thing our newly appointed, but business-as-usual, school board did was increase Dr. Mett's $170,000 salary. By all accounts, the raise was 8 percent - but her new salary is $211,680! Go figure. Anyway, I would do it for $20,000. I would guarantee results, while never taking any action that deviates from majority will. After reestablishing the teacher as the authority in the classroom, with the power to have trouble-makers permanently removed, teachers would vie to work here. I would throw every last education dollar from the state and feds back in their faces. I say nuts to dancing around on the strings jerked by those imbeciles...)

Will the state step forward and offer a guarantee, that such-and-such a goal will be met by such-and-such a time, or Maryland taxpayers will get a refund? For me, those goals would have to be mighty significant. For this price tag, I want tops in the nation. Best out of a field of fifty isn't such a big deal, anyhow.

Before this Thornton Commission thing blind-sided me, I had come up with a grand idea which I regret never having sent off to a newspaper. The state says how much it needs to "fix" education. It raises the money by purely voluntary public contributions - with a money-back-guarantee-with-interest if stated goals aren't met. Then, everyone would line up waving their money - those who actually believe that the schools can make good, and those who are skeptical. But, I missed the boat.

Anyhow, I guess what I wonder most is, will we start seeing "Box Tops for Education" coupons on cigarette packs like we see on Betty Crocker cake mixes?

And, will we change the words to our state song, which is the only one in the nation which calls for the overthrow of the government, to "Maryland, My Mommy"?

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