**Warning: I have Dusty's permission to use Dusty, Spanky, and Stan in my rps.**
(The scene opens up at Doozer's House, as usual because of the 'Tape Your Life' program. Doozer is just waking up with both of the Tag Team Championships over his shoulder. The Dude gets in the shower and dressed, then Doozer follows him. They are both just sitting there doing nothing, Mike Robinson left after he quit the Dream Wrestling Federation and Yojin and Doozer are having some problems, and Slim Shady is just not there. Doozer does what he promised to The Dude, he took out a tape from one of the first times that Doozer appeared in the Dream Wrestling Federation. He plays it:) (The scene opens up at Doozer’s house. He is just waking up. He goes into the bathroom to take a shower, but he finds The Dude sleeping in the tub. He turns on the water and The Dude jumps high in the air landing back hard into the tub. Doozer gets out of the bathroom while The Dude takes his shower and gets dressed. Then, Doozer gets in the shower and gets dressed too.) The Dude: Why’d you go and do that? That water was fricken hot!!!! I was having a really nice sleep in the tub, too. Doozer: Hey, you came back here late yesterday night I guess and you did it without telling me. You deserved that one retard. Now, I have a little problem. The Dude: Yeah, I hate them damn hemroids. I just can’t get them to go away. Doozer: No, I’m sorry, but I don’t have hemroids. I have a different problem. And, no. It isn’t crabs. There is this tag team or something. I really don’t know because this guy is way under my league. But, he said that Thaila was the valet of this tag team or it may be a stable. Anyway, last time I checked, Thaila said she was my manager and valet. So, I’m telling you Joe, I think that’s your name, you don’t steal my women. We will fight and if you are eligible for the Novice Title then that will be even better. Then, I will be able to kill two birds with one stone. Get my Novice Title and teach you a lesson. The Dude: Does this lesson have anything to do with how you can get rid of hemroids? Doozer: No, IT ISN’T. I’m gonna teach you that you do not, and I repeat do not, say that my valet is yours. Cameraman: So, Doozer. What are we gonna do today? Please don’t say we will go to the mall or Dunkin Donuts. I really don’t want to see you make anyone cry today. Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssseeeeee!!!!! Doozer: Okay, we won’t go to the mall or Dunkin Donuts. But, we are gonna go to……SUBWAY!!!! Those people know what they are doing with their life. They are stupid ass donut addicts. No, they aren’t. They are smart people, unlike that Joe guy. The Dude: Am I smart yet? Doozer: No, you are a retard and you will always be a retard. No matter how hard you try, you will always screw something up. No matter how much you study, you will always be stupid. No matter how much you play something, you will always blow a play. Cameraman: Well, that was very inspirational. Aren’t you supposed to encourage the less fortunate. Not put them down. The Dude: Yeah, ‘cause I am less fortunate and retarded and wait a minute…….you’re makin fun of me too!!!! (runs in the bathroom and starts to cry) Doozer: Oh, don’t mind him. Let’s go to Subway. (Doozer, the crying Dude, and The Cameraman all get into the limo. They drive off and eventually they arrive at Subway. Doozer, The Dude, and The Cameraman get out of the limo and get into the fast food restaurant. Doozer orders a turkey sub, with lettuce, American cheese, and salt and pepper. The Cameraman orders a roast beef sub with American cheese and lettuce. The Dude doesn’t know what to order and he doesn’t know how either. So, he tries.) Guy at the counter: Do you want white bread? Or, wheat bread? The Dude: Yes please. Guy at the counter: Well, sir, I need to know which one. There are two different kinds. You should either get white or wheat. The Dude: Okay, I’ll get that. Guy at the counter: Sir, there are two. You can only have one kind. Oh, nevermind, you can have half white and half wheat. So, what kind do you want? There is turkey, roast beef, chicken, meatball, and blt. The Dude: Alright. That sounds good to me. Guy at the counter: Hell, I’ll just give you all the damn kinds mixed together. Now, do you want the white colored cheese or the dark yellow colored cheese? The Dude: Hmmmmmmmmm(trying to sound like he’s making a tough decision) this is a tough one. I think I’ll get it though. Guy at the counter: What kind. White colored or dark yellow colored? The Dude: Yeah, that’s what I want. Guy at the counter: Well, I guess I can give you both kinds. Now, do you want lettuce or any kind of salad? Now, please just try to pick one. The Dude: Ummmmmmm………Okay, I’ll have that. Wait, I gotta think about this one…..yeah, I’ll get it. Guy at the counter: How about I just give you everything here? Is that okay? The Dude: Sounds good to me. Now we’re gettin somewhere. (The Dude ends up having the biggest sub ever. It was also the highest priced because of all the stuff in it. It cost The Dude $150.99. Actually, Doozer ended up buying it. After they get done eating. Well, Doozer and The cameraman got done. The Dude never got to finish. Doozer got on top of their table.) Doozer: Hello, fine customers of Subway. You people know where you are going with your life. You don’t go and eat damn donuts over at Dunkin Donuts. You are not donut addicts. You are a group of fine people. People with morals. People who have a future. Now, I will leave you fine people and go out in the harsh world of donut addicts. Bye all. The Dude: Yeah, and I’m leaving too. ‘Cause I gotta go with him or else I will hafta stay here and….. ‘cause of the stuff….. I’m gonna go know. God I’m retarded. (Doozer, The Dude, and The Cameraman hop back into the limo. Doozer tells the driver to go the arena. While on their way to the arena, Doozer spots a home-made donut shop on the side of the road. Doozer whispers something in The Dude’s ear. The Dude nods and they both get out of the car with the Cameraman following.) Doozer: Who the hell do you think you are? Do you have a heart? See, what you are doing is selling donuts to people. You are helping donut addicts get what they want. Is that right? No, it isn’t. Now, I want you out of this city with your damn donuts shop….NOW!!!!! The Dude: Yeah, and you can move pretty soon too. Guy at the donut shop: I am just trying to make a living. I’m not moving anywhere. People here like donuts. People here like me. Doozer: Well, if you don’t want to move, then I’ll just hafta make you. (Doozer punches the guy right in the nose. Then, Doozer whips The Dude and he goes flying into the shop collapsing it. Doozer stacks up some chairs and benches. He climbs them and flies off. He connects THE PESKY POLL, a Somersault Legdrop, on the guy. Then, The Dude climbs those same benches and chairs. He flies off and connects with a DUDACIOUS DIVE, a Swanton Bomb which was his finisher when he did wrestle.) Doozer: See, now he won’t sell anymore donuts. Oh, and if you do look for another job. The fudge factory is looking for another packer. I think you would make a great FUDGE PACKER. All donut sellers either Fudge Pack at the Fudge Factory or Beat The Meat over at the Meat Factory. The Dude: They do? What about being a plumber. I know some bathrooms that need work. Yeah, there are some pretty pathetic bathrooms out there. Trust me, I know. Doozer: Well, I guess we should go now before those dirty donut eating coppers get at us. I know that we could out run the pudgy bastards, but let’s go anyway. Where should we go? The Cameraman: We should keep on our way to the arena. You’re scheduled to make an appearance pretty soon. People are waiting. (Doozer, The Dude, and the cameraman get into the limo and drive off. They arrive at the arena. The Dude goes to the bathroom, while Doozer starts to make his way towards gorilla position. Then, the lights all go off. The color of red starts to flicker about the stands and "ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL" pt.2 by Pink Floyd plays as Doozer makes his way down to the ring wearing an official Boston Red Sox hat and a Nomar Garciaparra Jersey. Under that jersey is a T-Shirt labeled "BORN BUFF!!!!" When Doozer gets into the ring, the words "RED SOX RULE" appear on the mat. Then, as Doozer turns his hat backwards, red fireworks blast out of each turnbuckle.) Doozer: The Dooze is in the houuuuuuuuuuuse and he’s ready to raise some hell and do some DAMAGE!!!!! That’s right…. (The lights go off. Then, again red starts to flicker about the stands as "BIG BALLS" by Ac/Dc plays and The Dude makes his way down to the ring wearing an official Boston Red Sox hat and a Pedro Martinez Jersey. Under his jersey is a T-Shirt labeled "BECAUSE I AM THE BEST, OF THE BEST, OF THE BEST, OF THE BEST, GOD I’M RETARDED!!!" The Dude makes his way into the ring and joins Doozer.) Doozer: You are lookin at the Innovation of Devastation being accompanied by The Proclamation of Constipation, we are the men, the myths, the legends, the two, the only, The DUDACIOUS DUO!!!! But, all you wrestlers in the back don’t hafta get your panties in a bunch. The Dude in I are not gonna form a tag team. We are just gonna stick together like we always have. Don Harvone: Well, it looks like The Dude followed Doozer to the DWF. I was wondering where The Dude had gone. He has always been with Doozer in every fed that they’ve been in. They have also captured quite a few tag team belts. But, it looks like they are not gonna tag here in the DWF. Jerry: Well, that’s probably because Doozer and The Dude are afraid of not doing good with such hard competition in the tag team division. If I were Doozer, I wouldn’t tag in this federation either. >JW: No, I think Doozer is just focusing on the Novice Title as of right now. I bet, after he wins that title, he might just go for the tag team belts. You never know. The Dude: Now, all you guys back there that think you can beat my best friend, Doozer. Well, you guys are more retarded then I am. Doozer is the best, of the best, of the best, of the best, of the best, of the best, of the Dee-Double U-F!!!!! Doozer: That’s right, Dude. Now, I’d like to address a guy that goes by the name JOE!!! Now, I’ve looked at tapes and tapes of what Thaila has had to say. She has said nothing about being the manager of whatever you said she was the manager of. She, in fact, said she’d be my manager. It’s just I haven’t been paying to much attention to her lately. Because I really want that Novice Title back. So, I want me versus you for that Novice Title. I’ll sign the match. Hell, you can sign it too if you want to. Oh, one more thing. American Luchidor. You know your women. So, right now I'm asking you if you will join up with me and fight off the cops and donut addicts. Don Harvone: Doozer really does want that Novice Title. He wants it sooo much, that he just comes out here and challenges people for it. I bet he’d fight some of the best in the business for just that Novice Title. Well, according to The Dude, Doozer is the best in the business. But, I think even Doozer would hafta say that that isn’t quite true. Jerry: Of course it isn’t true. We have too many great wrestlers in this fed. Quite a few of them could take on Doozer with one hand behind their back and their eyes closed. I’d like to see Doozer even stand a chance against the Dream Champion. I’m telling ya, he just can’t cut it with the big boys. That’s why he wants that Novice Title. He knows it will be much easier to get. JW: I think that he just wants that Novice Title back. He has realized that he can beat pretty much anyone in the Novice Title division. Last time he was here in the DWF, he captured the Novice Title and now he’s a hell of a lot better than he was then. Doozer: Now, I would like to address Yoman. Please, Yoman, don’t think that it is an insult for me to call you that anymore because I’m not intending it to be an insult anymore. You are much like me Yoman, except for the fact that you have killed a kid. That, I don’t do. But, I think together. We could win the battle against authority. Yeah, I know you want Dazz on your side. Hell, I want him too. But, while he is injured and not here, I think we should have some fun. Alright, I’ve talked to Yoman and Joe. Oh, wait, one more thing. My match with Joe will be a Barbed Wire Bad Ass Bat Match. The rules are simple, so I’m not gonna tell ya. So, I think I’ve said enough….so, Joe, the fudge factory has a packer and they want you to stop going out for the job. Also, the meat factory already has a beater, they don’t want you either….but, to all you cool cat RED SOX FANS out there….KEEP COOL and Kick Ass…. ‘cause winning might not be everything, but LOSING SUCKS ASS!!!!! Don Harvone: Well, if I were Joe, I’d watch out. Doozer is steamed over the fact that you said his manager/valet was not his. Jerry: Joe, there is nothing to be afraid of. Doozer is all talk. ("ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL" pt.2 by Pink Floyd plays as Doozer, The Dude, and the cameraman make their way backstage leaving a sold out crowd on its feet.) (Doozer goes up to the VCR, presses off and takes out the tape. He turns around and The Dude is crying. Doozer walks up to him and asks him what his problem is.) The Dude: That was really, really touching man. How you were so kind to me and everything, I wish that we could go back. Ya know, like Kid Rock's song named I wanna Go Back. Doozer: Man, in that rp I used on you just like I usually do. Are you frigen retarded? Sh(censored), if that is being nice to you. Then how is this... Dude, you are one of the coolest people around. I mean, you are smart, funny, good looking, and buff. You are the coolest. The Dude: **sniff sniff** I don't think I've ever heard anybody adress me like that before. I don't even really know how to react to something like that. Doozer: Well, good thing I'm here because I react to that sh(censored) ten million times every single day. All you say back is, I know. That's it. I mean, it's not that hard. Even you can say I and Know. You are retarded, too. The Dude: I know.... wait a minute, that wasn't a compliment. Damn, I have to work on my timing and.... stuff!!! Doozer: Alright, I have to talk about my match now for a little bit.**doozer goes and sits down in front of the camera** Alright, Genecide, I have faced you once, and have beaten your ass once. I mean, if I recall, the announcer stated that I nearly broke your neck with the running powerbomb I did. Hell, that wasn't even my special move. Only two of my victems have had to feel the wrath of The Pesky Poll. Those two are The Mutha Bleepin A-Train and Big Shit. I derailed A-Train with it and flushed Big Shit. Genecide, you should just give me the match before i do break your neck. Genecide, it rhymes with Suicide. So, Genecide getting in the ring with me. Is just like comitting Suicide. Now, The Flawless One. Well, I hate to tell ya, but after I face you, you are gonna have many flaws. Eddie, you are a lot like me, though. Other than the fact that I'm one of the best and you...suck. You are a smart ass, cocky, son of a bitch, like me. Well, I'm not like that all the time. But, I will admit that I can be. And what is this, you saying that I will be no problem. You can beat me no matter what? Well, sorry, but I'm going to have to prove you wrong. Yeah, it's gonna be a triple threat, dog collar match on Saturday and I am going to walk in to that match as one of the best, both of the tag team champions. I will walk out, even better, both of the tag team champions and the people's champion. That's right, I will have three belts. There is nothing you or Genecide can do about it. Okay, back to Genecide. I don't know why you were so happy about letting me take you on. Are you retarded or something? Like I said, I did almost break your neck the first time we met in the squared circle. You are nothing compared to me, The Innovation of Devastation. Eddie, you are a little bit of something, but still not much compared to me, The Master of Disaster. And both of you are still jack sh(censored) compared to me, The Ruler of The Ring. I think I've said enough. (Doozer starts to walk away, then turns around and punches the camera, knock in down and cracking the lens.)
