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(The scene opens up at Doozer's House, as usual because of the 'Tape Your Life' program. Doozer is just waking up with both of the Tag Team Championships over his shoulder. The Dude gets in the shower and dressed, then Doozer follows him. They are both just sitting there doing nothing, Mike Robinson left after he quit the Dream Wrestling Federation and Yojin and Doozer are having some problems, and Slim Shady is in jail. Doozer and The Dude sit down in the living room.) The Dude: Hey, we are just alone now. I know that you always made fun of me. But, was that just because you wanted to get a laugh out of your friends that were around or because you really do think i'm retarded? Please answer me truthfully... Doozer: Well, Dude, I hate to put it this way. I really, really do... But, you are...You are. Well, you are retarded in my book. Sometimes, you are so retarded that it eats me alive not to make fun of you. It does, I'm sorry about that, but it does. The Dude: Well, at least I know the truth now. We never were friends. You just took me in because you thought I was hopeless and retarded and you just felt pity for me. Thankyou, but now I must leave and live on my own. Then, I might get a little smarter or die. Either way, I am out of your hair. You are busy now. You have both of your tag team titles and you might win the People's Title too. So, I'm gonna leave you. Good bye, Doozer. (The Dude walks out the door slowly, he looks outside not having a clue about what he is goin to do now. He looks around, then gets into his car. The '69 Ford Mustang Fast Back. He drives off leaving Doozer looking out after him in the doorway.) Doozer: Okay, that this completely sucks ass. What am I going to do. I have never been completely alone for more than twenty minutes in my life. This reeks of suckiness. Oh great, now I'm talking like Edge and Christian. Alright, I have to think of something to do before I breakdown. Okay, I was just thinking about calling my mom or dad, but they are dead damnit. It's okay Lavigne, it's okay. Just don't break down. JUST DON'T DO IT. Calm down Scotty, calm down. Alright, now I am calling myself Scotty, I hate to be called Scotty. Damn, what's wrong with me? I better do something before I do have to go to the nuthouse. (Doozer opens up his garage. He thinks about what car or truck he is goin to take out. He decides to take out the Ford SVT Lightning. For all you that don't know. It is a low-rider truck made for racing. A low-rider is one that is set very low on its shocks so it is very close to the ground. He hops into the truck and drives off. He decides just to drive around Boston for a little bit. There is a traffic jam and Doozer just got caught in it. Doozer: What the hell are you assholes doing up there. What'd you bunch of homos decide to do out there? Ya all going to get out of your cars and have a big circle jerk? Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. God, we don't need any more people like Genecide and The Flawless One in this small world. Okay, calm down Lavigne. You can get out of this. Just think, you've always had to be the smart one. Think of how you could make this into a good thing. Just think.... I GOT IT!!! (Doozer hops out of his SVT Lightning and stands in the back. Doozer grabs the attention of many angered drivers. Then, he begins to speak.) Doozer: Alright, how many of you people are going to go to work? **a big reaction** How many of you people watch wrestling **a bigger reaction** How many of you people are going to Dunkin Donuts to get a donut before going to work or a friends house? **a humungous reaction** See, this is why I am here. I am here to stop you donut addicts from getting fatter. I know you all will hate me for the next couple of days. But, after you have lost that gut. After you have lost a good one hundred pounds. After you start to get every women that you just look at. Then, you will all worship me. Now, I am holding a DARE Program at my house in about thirty minutes. It is just right up the street. It is the huge house with a long drivway. I would like to see each and every one of you over at my house. Don't enter my house. Just stand outside and we will work with the basics to getting back in shape, or in shape for the first time in your donut addicted lives. Who is with me? **a humongous reaction** (All of a sudden, the whole traffic jam is moving in reverse, back to Doozer's house. When, Doozer arrives at his house. There are easily over one hundred people there. Doozer looks up at some odd figure in a tree and nods his head. All of a sudden, Doozer is jetting off in his SVT Lightning and the sounds of guns firing are heard. Every last one of those people were shot. Then, some of the people in the trees walk down to the dead people and place a gun in each and every one of their hands. That is why it took longer for Doozer to get back. He was planning this. His workers made it look like a war between a hundred people. They all just shot eachother. Doozer then arrives at Dunkin Donuts with a wide smile on his face.) Doozer: Hello fine people of Dunkin Donuts. I have some strange, gut feeling, that you are not going to have as much business as of late. No, I'm sorry to tell you. But, I bet you will be losing at least a hundred people every day in sales. I know, it's a bummer. Really, it is. But, I don't want to talk anymore about this so I will leave you people. Good-bye. (Doozer hops back into his SVT Lightning and heads off towards the arena. He finally gets to the arena and gets out his truck and starts heading towards the ring. Then, the lights go out. The color of red starts to flicker about the stands and 'Certified Bomb' by Cypress Hill plays as Doozer makes his way down to the ring wearing an official Boston Red Sox hat and a Nomar Garciaparra Jersey. Under that jersey is a T-Shirt Labeled 'Born Buff'. As Doozer gets into the ring, the words 'Red Sox Rule' appear on the mat and as he turns his hat into a backwards position, red fireworks blast out of each turnbuckle. Doozer grabs a mic and begins to speak.) Doozer: Doozer is in the houuuuuuse and he is ready to RAISE some HELL and DO some DAMAGE!!! That's right, you are looking at the Innovation of Devastation, The Master of Disaster, The Ruler of The Ring, the man, the myth, the legend, the one, the only, The Dooze!!! Now, I have some issues to talk about. First off, I do have a match on Friday versus Nastradamus, Wolf, and Andy Sweeney. They are big shots and all. But, they are old and worn out. They will not stand a chance in Hell versus myself, Dazz, and Extremist. There is no way that they will beat us. It's possible, but not probable. Yeah, I have much respect for you three though. Andy Sweeney, I always looked up to you. Yeah, when I was a piece of sh(censored) and only the Novice Champion. Now, I know I can take you. Nas, I wasn't around during your era. But, from what I hear. I guess you were pretty damn good. So, I will take it easy on you. Wolf, I have the most respect for you out of those three. You are pretty damn high in my books. I mean, right up there with Extremist and Dazz. I think you are great. Wait, let me rephrase that. I think that you were great. But, it is time for your era to end and Doozer's to begin. So, bye bye to any kind of winning streak that you had. Cause, I'm gonna Doozer you. Then, I'm gonna abuse you!!! Don Harvone: Wow, very strong words coming out of Doozer's mouth. I mean, not too many people with any kind of brains at all will come up to three hall of famers and disrepect them like that. I mean, Doozer does have the brass, but he doesn't have the brains. When you are fighting big names like those. You can not be cocky. You have to concentrate. Frank(JW's fill in): Yeah, when Doozer was getting his qualities as a baby. They were passing out brains. They went up to Doozer and asked him if he wanted a brain. Well, Doozer thought they said train. So he said, 'no thanks'. Then, when they were passing out concentration. He thought they said 'masturbation'. So he said, 'i ain't no homo'. So, I hope I have explained to you all why he is like that. Jerry: God, you are the biggest moron I have ever met. You almost have as much hatred in you for doozer, as JW did. Now, I don't know about all you people out there. But, I think Doozer is one heck of a competitor and this should be a good matchup. But, this isn't even the matchup that Doozer was here to talk about, no it wasn't. Doozer: Now, onto the match up that I am actually going to focus a little more on because it includes a title. Yes, it is the title that I tried and failed to bring it out of the trash. If I do win it. Damn, I have to rephrase again. Once I win it, I will bring it out of the trash, or I might just give it up to someone. What I really wanted to do was prove to Genecide that I can thrash him when I want to. I can kick his ass. I also wanted to show Eddie Richter that I can kick his ass when ever I want to, too. No one can stop me. Dazz being maybe the only exception. Genecide, you said something about why are we always fighting eachtother instead of together? Is that some kind of way to get the other half of my tag team belts? Well, it's not gonna work. Eddie, you talk about... Hell, I wasn't even paying attention to you. You aren't even worth the words out of my mouth. Neither is Genecide really. But, I have to get some things straight with him. Now, Genecide. You talk about how I could've broke your neck, but I didn't because you are indestructable. Ummm, actually I didn't break your neck because I didn't need to do it to win. You are so weak, that I didn't need to do anything harsh to you to get the double-u. Don Harvone: Well, it seems like Dooze is even more confident about this match up. Really, he should be. I mean, Genecide and Eddie Richter are good wrestlers, but compared to Wolf, Andy Sweeney, and Nas, they aren't much. Those three names will live on in Dream Wrestling History. Frank: I think Doozer is just trying to intimidate his opponents so when he does have to face them, he won't have to fight because they will be afraid of him. That way, he won't have to show everyone that he can't fight. I mean, Doozer will probably win his match versus Genecide and Eddie Richter, but he won't beat Nas, Wolf, and Andy Sweeney. No chance in hell. Doozer: Now, I think I've said enough... So, to all my cool cat red sox fans out there. KEEP COOL AND Keep Kicking Ass. 'Cause winning might not be everything, but LOSING SUCKS ASS!!! Also, Genecide, Eddie, after I get done crippling your pathetic asses. You might want to find a job at the Fudge Factory. I'm sure they'd let you two be Packers. Or the Meat Factory. You two would probably make great Meat Beaters. Well, I'm outtie. (Certified Bomb by Cypress Hill plays as Doozer makes his way backstage. Doozer made an agreement that he would not be taped tonight since nothing was going to happen because he'd be by himself.)
