**Warning**: I have Dusty's permission to use him in this roleplay. I have Dazz's permission to use him in this roleplay.

(The scene opens up at Doozer's House, as usual because of the 'Tape Your Life' program. Doozer is just waking up with both of the Tag Team Championships over his shoulder. The Dude left Doozer the other day. We still do not know where he went. Doozer gets into the shower and gets dressed. He is just sitting in his living room doing nothing at all. Doozer then starts to speak into the camera.)

Doozer: Alright, so I don't have The Dude by my side today. So, I don't have Mike Robinson or Slim Shady or Yojin Musahiri or anyone by my side today. I am alone. Yeah, Thaila dropped my a note the other day telling me on how I have been lonely and that she is always there for me. Well, Thaila... I just might take you up on that. But, right now I'm not sure if I have room for another person in my life. Yeah, I said another person. Last night, I just got a phone call from one of my old girlfriends telling me that I have a little boy. She also told me that she wouldn't be able to take care of him anymore so I had to. That's right, Doozer is a daddy. I'm just sitting here doing nothing because I am waiting for the little guy. So, Thaila, you can come by sometimes if you want. I'll call ya if I need help with him. But...

(Someone knocks on the door. Doozer walks up to it and opens the door. There is a man with a little a four or five year old boy in front of him. The man asks Doozer if he is really Scott Lavigne, Doozer nods. Then, the man pats the little boy on the butt and starts to walk away. Doozer runs after him and clotheslines him from behind.)

Doozer: *looking down on the man* Don't you ever touch my boy on the ass again you flamer. *doozer looks back at the boy, he's crying* Okay, I guess violence is not a good thing in your book. That pretty much singles out the plan I had for us today.

(Doozer walks back into the house. The boy is just on the couch flipping through all the channels fastly.)

Doozer: Dude, how do you even see what is on the channels when you flip through them so much?

Little Boy: I has seen you on them before. You got your bum bum kicked by guy named Big Shot.

Doozer: First of all, I was kicking some ass in that match. I had it all under control. Genecide was out from eddie's finisher, or the other way around and I got up to the top rope and was about to finish him off, but Big Shit got up and threw me off the top rope, he wasn't even in the match man. Well, at least I know you got some brass balls. Cause you need balls of brass to talk to someone that's over five times bigger than you like that.

Little Boy: My balls are made of brass*laughs* I GOT BRASS BALLS, I GOT BRASS BALLS, I GOT BRASS BALLS.

(Then, Dusty walks into the room and sees the little boy running around screaming that he has brass balls. Then, Dusty runs into the little circle that the kid is running in and starts to jump and scream and run.)

Dusty: HE'S GOT BRASS BALLS, HE'S GOT BRASS BALLS, HE'S GOT BRASS BALLS. I GOT ITCHY BALLS, I GOT ITCHY BALLS, I GOT ITCHY BALLS.

Dusty #2: Yes, you do have itchy balls because I have itchy balls so that means that you must have itchy balls. Well, I'm gonna go along and itch those icthy balls of ours.

Dusty: He, I've already told you this before, if you itch your balls, then that'd be like you itching my balls. If people saw you itching my balls, then they'd talk and make fun of us and all that stuff.

Doozer: I can't even beleive I'm getting into this conversation. But, anyways, if he is you, and you are he, and he itches your balls, it'd just be like you are itching your balls because you are him. So, the only thing that people would think is, hey look at that retard over there masturbating. See, I thought about this while my balls were itchy and I was talking to myself because I was all alone.

Dusty: That was very confusing, but my balls are really itchy now and you can itch away Dusty number two.

(All of a sudden, you can see that some invisible figure is itching dusty's balls, but it is not dusty. Doozer is dumbfounded and the little kid is....well picking his nose, but if he knew what they were doing, he'd be dumbfounded too.)

Doozer: Well, Dusty, I'm gonna go know so I guess you should go too since I don't want you being alone in my house. I'm gonna go take my kid to the arena and cut a promo while I'm there. Well, keep cool Dusty and get the hell out of my house in two minutes or else the alarm will go off.

(Dusty runs out of the house, but trips over the doormat and falls facefirst on the steps. One minute is left till the alarm goes off and dusty is struggling to get up. He starts to crawl with desperation. He is almost to his waist out of the doorway and he moans as his private area gets smooshed on the floor as he tried to do a worm like dance out of the house. He rolls over to his back with thirty seconds left and Doozer comes over to help him. He comes over with a nice helping smile on his face, picks dusty up and throws him into a trashcan. Doozer then gets into his Ford SVT Lightning and drives off with his little boy.)

The Little Boy: That guy back there is...I tink he stupid or someting. I bets he can't add up one an one. I bets he can't count he can't count how many fingers and thumbs he has on his hand. I bets he is gay.

Doozer: Well, for once I couldn't agree more with ya. Except for the gay part because he does actually show some kind of sexual arousal when he is around very pretty women. I think he pees his pants or something like that. Well, you did forget one thing though too. He's a fat ass. Yeah, it's true. Now, do you have a name or anything?

The Little Boy: Um...or anything.

Doozer: Oh, so you are a smart ass just like me, huh? Well, I am gonna think up a name for you... Bert?*the boys shakes his head*... Bobby?*the little boy shakes his head again*... Stan?*the boy shakes his head once more*... You want to have a really cool name? Well, I know a name that, as Edge and Christian would say, TOTALLY REIKS OF AWESOMENESS!!! This name rules. You can be called... Scott!!! Isn't that a cool name?*the boy nods his head* Well, it should be damnit, it's my name. But, I guess you can be Scott Lavigne Jr. Hey, we are at the arena.

(Doozer pulls up to the arena and gets out of the truck and so doesn't Scott Lavigne Jr. They both walk around the arena looking for people to talk to. They come up to the snack bar. Doozer sees a locker room labeled 'Dazz'. He walks in and Dazz is in a bed with ten other women.)

Doozer: Now, Scott Jr., this is Dazz. No, not one of the very largely breasted women, he is the one in the middle, he is the guy. Yeah, he is what you call, a very god damn lucky man. He is also the former Dream Champion, that is the biggest title in this federation.

Scott Lavigne Jr.: Those girls look kind of like what Mommy looked like. With the two really big thingys. How do they get that big?

Doozer: Well, ummm... they do a lot of push ups. Yeah, see they just have really big pectoral muscles. I do lots of pushups, but a man's pectoral muscles can't get as big as a woman's unless it is all fat. Then, as a kid in my school proved to me about ten years ago, that men can have bigger pectoral muscles than women.

Dazz: So, what's your story kid?

Scott Lavigne Jr.: Ummm, I don't got a story yet, but I do got brass balls. I GOT BRASS BALLS, I GOT BRASS BALLS, I GOT BRASS BALLS!!!

Dazz: Ask these ladies and they'll probably tell ya the same about me. Well, Doozer, I got ten hotties in the same bed as me and it is really hard for me to not get nasty in front of your little boy, so if you could just take you boy and yourself out of the room please, cause if I wait any longer, I'm gonna die.

Doozer: Alright, Dazz. I'd just like to say, Have Fun, Keep Cool, and pop a nut.

Dazz: Pop a nut? That wouldn't be good.

Doozer: Well, it's like good luck. Ya know how some people say, 'break a leg' or 'knock yourself out' for good luck and they both have to do with being hurt. So, i figured it was a good time to say, 'pop a nut'. God, you got to be as happy as a homo in a boyscout camp right now, so I'm gonna leave you alone.

(Doozer and Scott leave Dazz's locker room and decide to go out to the ring. Then, the lights go out and red lights start to flicker about the stands as "HIGHWAY TO HELL" by Ac/Dc plays and Doozer makes his way out to the ring, with his little kid, wearing an official Boston Red Sox Hat and a Nomar Garciaparra Jersey. Under that Jersey is a T-Shirt labeled 'Born Buff'. He is also carrying a red baseball bat. As he gets into the ring, the words 'Red Sox Rule' appear on the matt and as he turns his hat backwards, red fireworks blast out of each turnbuckle and Doozer grabs a mic.)

Doozer: Oh, you better beleive it cause anything can happen now that... DOOZER IS IN THE HOUUUUUUSE and he's ready to RAISE some HELL and DO some DAMAGE!!! That's right, you are looking at The Innovation of Devastation, the Master of Disaster, The Ruler of The Ring, the man, the myth, the legend, the one, the only, THE DOOZE!!! Now, I guess I have a match tommorrow against some retard named, Mr. Hardcore. Well, Mr. Hardcore, you can give a blow job to a dead donkey for all I care. I don't know who you are and I don't care who you are. Because, it simply does not matter who you are, when you get into the ring with me, I'm gonna do two things to ya. I'M GONNA DOOZE YA, THEN I'M GONNA ABUSE YA!!!

Don: Wow, Doozer coming down to the ring with strong words for Mr. Hardcore. Doozer is certainly showing a lot of intensity here today. He might be a little mad that he lost that Triple Threat People's Title match due to Big Shot's interference.

Jerry: Yeah, but he, Extremist, and Dazz did beat Wolf, Nas, and Andy Sweeney. That must have felt good. You can't just go and beat three superstars like that and not feel good about it, you just can't.

Doozer: Well, I don't really have much to say, I bet my little kid is getting kind of bored being out here for this long. So, I'm gonna end off with a little rhyme for Mr. Hardcore. Here I go.

MR. HARDCORE
YOU WILL BE SORE
JUST LIKE A SAN-FRAN-SIS-CO WHORE
WHO HAD JUST SPENT A LONG NIGHT WITH ME
DON'T YOU SEE
IF YOU DON'T, YOU BETTER FLEE
AND RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN
CAUSE I'M GONNA BEAT YOU DOWN LIKE DUSTY DOES TO STAN
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT CAUSE I DON'T STOP
REMEMBER, I'M STRONGER THAN TYSON
AND SMARTER THAN SPOCK!!!

Don Harvone: I love his little rhymes. I mean, how many people can come down to the ring and rhyme like that about a guy named Mr. Hardcore? Yeah, a lot are saying, 'i can', but can they do it off the top of their head like he just did?

Jerry: I don't know, but I guess that is all that we are going to hear from Doozer for today because he said that he wasn't going to make it long and end it off with another one of his fantastic rhymes.

Doozer: Well, I think I've said enough. So, I'm gonna go. Just like to give a shot out to all my fans and to all the cool cat red sox fans...KEEP COOL and Keep Kicking Ass. 'Cause winning might not be everything, BUT LOSING SUCKS ASS!!!

(Doozer and the Scott Jr. walk back to the backstage area with the crowd on its feet. As they get back there, they meet the cameraman, Doozer whispers something in Scott's ear. Then, Scott Jr. goes up to the cameraman and low blows him. Doozer and Scott Jr. quickly get into the Ford SVT Lightning and drive off.)