**Warning(Cast for DTV**): (I have these people's permission to use them in DTV) The Star/Host: Doozer. Co-Stars: Dusty, Yojin Musahiri, and The Dude. Other Cast Members: ???, ???, and ???. Guest Star: ???. ***DARE Program Coming Soon: We already have three applications!!! Dare to keep people of Donuts... Donut Abuse Resistance Education... You can sign up for it... Fill out Doozer's App... If you join his DARE Program, you are automatically a Co-Star on DTV*** (The voice of an anchor for MTV starts talking as the credits for "Celebrity Death-Match" play.) MTV Anchor Voice: What a show, that was definitely one of the better "Celebrity Death-Matches" in a while. Well, next of comes the second episode for all three shows of DTV, Doozer Television. Last time, we saw Doozer and his Crew watch themselves doing their show on the TV. We also saw Doozer, The Dude, and Yojin Musahiri being held up at gunpoint, while Dusty ran off crying, and kick the sh(censored)t out of each of the Gang members. We also saw Doozer, Yojin, The Dude, and Dusty literally scare an old couple to death, actually Doozer gave the old man a heart attack from a huge wedgie and The Dude jumped on the old women’s back smashing her head into the tar sidewalk. Doozer also cut a promo as a part of "Talkin’ Shit." Well, it is what is up next… DTV!!! ("Ain’t Nuthing but A G Thang" by Dr. Dre plays as Doozer’s entrance video plays, then Dusty’s, then Yojin’s, and then The Dude’s. After they are all done showing and the music is turned off. The scene cuts off to…) Director: Alright guys, this is the second episode for each of DTV’s shows. Yesterday was such a big success, that you have three requests for Guest-Stars. Yeah, after one show, you already are getting requests for Guest-Stars. The first is, N’sync, they say, "DTV is by far the hippest show on TV and we want to be a part of it." Doozer: Oh, tell them that they can’t. We aren’t going to take the time to do voice-overs for them so that they can lip-sink it just like they do in their gay songs. Director: Consider that done. The second is from… Adam Sandler. He says, "You ain’t cool, until you Guest-Star on DTV!!! And… I can do it!!!" Doozer: Yeah dawg, you can do it allllll night long!!! He’s in for today. Director: Alright, now the third is… A Fan he says, "Your show is gay. Take it off the air before I kill myself." Doozer:… Yojin Musahiri: Wait, I can take care of this… *smiles* (Yojin goes over to Doozer’s computer and starts typing… TEN MINUTES LATER. Yojin has printed what he typed and sent it back to the guy.) Yojin Musahiri: I used to have to write letters from the government to people, so he will think this is one of those notes, only this is from a Doctor. Once he reads this, he will know that he has been diagnosed with Genital Herpes and his son is gay. Oh, his house is also being repossessed because he had sex with guys for money and that is illegal. Doozer: Very good job, Yojin. I couldn’t be more proud of you at this moment. Dusty: Wait a minute… How did he not know that his son was gay and how could he not know that he made guys pay for illegal sex? The Dude: It’s called lying, but that guy doesn’t know it. Dusty: But lying is bad. (Adam Sandler comes bursting through the door.) Adam Sandler: Yeah, but what he don’t know, can’t hurt him. So, what he is going to know, is going to hurt him. Doozer: What’s up, Happy? Yojin Musahiri: Uh oh, here comes the putter throw!!! The Dude: You guys just crack me up. Dusty: I don’t get it. Adam Sandler: He obviously is the retarded one of the group. Doozer: No, we got two, it’s just he is more retarded. Dusty: Well, I still don’t get it. Adam Sandler: It is from a movie of mine, "Happy Gilmore." Dusty: Oh, now I get it. *starts laughing* Doozer: He still doesn’t get it. Dusty: No, I don’t… *frowns* Director: Alright, cut the crap guys, this is when we be serious. Our last show got some bad reviews because of the killing of an innocent old couple. Yes, you and I know that it wasn’t an innocent old couple. Actually, the old man did attempt to kick the bush, so we killed him for self defense and the woman looked like she was going to pull out a weapon, and we did find a mirror on her, and hit somebody with it, so we also killed her for self defense. But, a lot of parents didn’t like that part, even though the kids thought it rocked, so we have to calm down a little more and get serious. (Something or somebody streaks by.) Director: What the hell did I just see? Doozer: Well, if you saw what I saw, you saw Adam Sandler running in front of the camera totally naked. Dusty: I don’t get it. Yojin Musahiri: There is nothing to get about that. It’s just funny and sick at the same time, you don’t have to get it. The Dude: Hey, I say that we start up "The Home of The Homies." (Suddenly, the TV screen blanks out. Then, the words "Doozer", "Dusty", "Yojin", and "The Dude", appear on the Television. "Rolling" by Limp Bizkit hits the sound system at full blast and after showing clips of Doozer wrestling, the scene goes straight to "The Home of The Homies" staring Doozer.) Doozer: Hey yo, you are watching D-T-V!!! This is The Dooze with his Homies and this is the second episode of "The Home of The Homies!!!" We are in the house and have a Guest-Star. Yeah, our first show brought in so many good reviews, and some bad but the good over-did the bad by a lot, that we had some requests for Guest-Stars. And we chose one, he is somewhere I am not exactly sure, last time we saw him we ran by totally naked, yeah you guessed it… ADAM SANDLER!!! Adam Sandler: *Stands in front of the camera, clothed* H-hi, I am A-a-dam Sand-l-ler and I w-would l-like to t-t-t-tell all of m-my fans to k-k-k-kiss my hairy ass!!! *he moons the camera and runs off again* Doozer: Yeah, now we have a total of three nutcases in our crew. Myself and Yojin are the only two sane ones. The Dude: What are you talking about? I am not the one in front of a camera mooning it with a big hairy ass. No, I am the one *says while pulling down his pants and mooning the camera* mooning the camera with a bald ass!!! Dusty: Bum bums, bum bums, here and there. Bum bums, bum bums everywhere!!! I’m scared… Doozer: Hey, Dusty, I heard if you look at three asses of men in a row, that you turn gay. Dusty: Good thing The Dude and Adam are done… *Doozer moons him* Aaaaaaah… wait a minute, I think I like it this time. Doozer: Oh my god, IT WAS TRUE!!! Yojin Musahiri: Doozer, cover your virgin asshole quickly. It is in danger, the perpetrator… DUSTY!!! Doozer: Yojin!!! Hit the lights!!! (Yojin doesn’t hit the lights, but Doozer acts like he did. He pulls up his pants, ducks, tucks, rolls, and jumps.) ,Doozer: Alright, that would’ve been a lot cooler and I wouldn’t have looked like an idiot as much as I just did if you would’ve hit the lights. Yojin Musahiri: That’s exactly why I didn’t do it. Dusty: I don’t get it. Humph, *sits down and crosses his legs* Come on guys, tell me now or else I am going to freak-ay on your cute little bum bums!!! Doozer: Okay, Dusty, when I told you that, it wasn’t true. I had just made it up. The only reason that you are acting gay right now is because you think you are. Dusty: Man, that was a good one. I guess we are playing Mr. Detective Game Thingy right now. So, it’s my turn. Who really is Adam Sandler. (Dusty walks up to Adam Sandler and tries to rip off his "mask." However, the mask doesn’t come off. After Dusty realizes that it is really him, he pisses himself seeing the glare in Adam’s eye.) The Dude: This just in… research shows that Dusty truly is retarded… Oops, wrong thing… Oh, we have just found out that that really is Adam Sandler Guest-Staring on DTV. Adam Sandler: This just in… Dusty peed himself. Dusty: *seeming unusually happy and proud for somebody who pissed himself* Hey, I’m cool now. Adam Sandler: *talks in his Billy Madison voice* Yeah, cause you ain’t cool, until you pee your pants. Doozer: Well, if peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis. The Dude: I think that is the sickest thing I have ever heard. (The three all slap hands as they laugh on how well the did that certain scene from "Billy Madison" which stared Adam Sandler. P.S.: You ain’t cool, until you watch that movie.) Dusty: I don’t get it… The Dude: I say we play the "ignore game" on Dusty. Dusty: I say we play the "he is gay so don’t talk to him game" on The Dude. The Dude: Hey, that is the same exact thing as the ignore game. Dusty: No it isn’t. The Dude: Yes it is because I wanted to play that game because you are gay. Dusty: No, even though I did see three men’s asses in a row, Doozer told me that that wasn’t true. The Dude: Yeah, but you are gay anyway. See, even it rhymes, so that means it you must be gay. Dusty: Yeah, well you are gay, hey, hey, hey. That rhymes too so you must be gay. The Dude: I know I am. Doozer: What?!?!? The Dude: Nothing… Yojin Musahiri: Better be nothing. Doozer: Alright, off that subject... Umm, you Adam, whazzzup? Adam Sandler: Oh, not much Dooze, I'm just kicking back on your comfy couch watching the Tele... Dusty: It is boob tube, geeze. Adam Sandler: You are the boob tube. Dusty: I don't get it. Director: Running out of time boys. Yojin Musahiri:... Keep Cool all and Keep Watching DTV because up next is "Boyz 'N The Hood." During that show, we introduce our newest guests!!! All three of them signed up for the DARE Program and we will show them on "Boyz 'N The Hood," then we will start up the DARE Program at the next episode of "The Home of The Homies!!!" Director: And... cut. That's a wrap. Good work guys. Alright, I think we should get into Doozer's limousine and get ready for "Boyz 'N The Hood." (As the credits for "The Home of Homies" show on MTV, Doozer, Dusty, Adam Sandler, The Dude, Yojin Musahiri, and The Director and crew people all get into Doozer's limousine. Then, "Stupify" by Disturbed plays as the words, "Doozer", "Dusty", "The Dude", and finally "Yojin" flash on the screen and the screen cuts over to "Boyz 'N The Hood.") Doozer: What's up everybody? You are watching "Boyz 'N The Hood" and once we meet at the place where some new cast-members are, we will introduce them. Yojin Musahiri: Wow, I don't think that I have heard a suckier entrance talk thingy than that one you just did. Doozer: F(censored)ck you, you are only my manager to manage my wrestling, not my sh(censored) outside of the ring. Adam Sandler: Yeah, so back off!!! (Doozer points out the parking lot of McDonalds and the limousine driver parks in there. Doozer, Dusty, The Dude, Yojin, and Adam Sandler all get out of the limousine. They all walk around, then Doozer gets the cameras attention as he stands in front of four different portable toilets.) Doozer: This is certainly a unique way of introducing new cast members, but DTV is all about being unique. Now, behind portable toilet door number one... He is a former DWF Dream Champion. He dominated the DWF until beaten in a hard match against Bob. If you don't know who he is yet, you were born and raised in a trash can so I'll give you one more hint... His name starts with the same letter of mine... Yeah, you guessed it and if you didn't you ate way too many paint chips as a kid... DAZZ 'THE WARRIOR OF EVIL'!!! (Yojin goes and opens up the door as Dazz steps out bowing.) Doozer: Now, behind door number two... He recently got fired from DWF, but wants to come back and decided to start with The DARE Program... He has been known by almost as many nicknames of myself... I defeated him in my debut match here in the DWF... GENECIDE!!! (The Dude goes and opens up the door of the portable toilet number two and Genecide steps out casually.) Doozer: And now, the last, but not least new member of DTV and applicant of the DARE Program. He is a rookie here in the DWF and wants to get his precense known. He came up from none other but the DML and was president of it also... WRECK!!! (Adam Sandler goes and opens up the door of portable toilet number three and Wreck walks out waving to the camera.) Doozer: We only have three new members, why are there four portable toilets? Dusty: I don't know, but that sounds like a job for DUSTYDAWG!!! The Dude: Do it up. (Dusty opens the door of portable toilet number four to reveal an old man taking a shit. Dusty lets out a girlish scream at the sight of him and runs over and starts banging his head on the ordering machine.) Adam Sandler: That must have been the funniest thing I have ever seen!!! Doozer: Alright, now let us get a word from each of the new members of DTV and the upcoming DARE Program. Dazz: Well, all I can say is that I wanted to be a part of one of the coolest shows on TV, so I am. And, I heard Adam Sandler say that you ain't cool, until you are on this show and well, I'm cool so I felt obligated to. Also, I am not in DWF right now, so I would just like to say around in some way. The Dude: Boring... Dazz: I will show you boring. I'm gonna kick your ass. The Dude: Then why are you talking in pink words if you are so big? Dazz: Hey, Doozer, why do you have me talking in pink words? Doozer: Sorry dawg... Dazz: Thanks man... Wait a minute... Purple isn't any better!!! Doozer: Oh yeah, my bad my bad. Dazz: Sweet, thanks. The Dude: Hey, now you got me on pink. Doozer: I can't have two people with the same color, are you crazy? The Dude: Sorry... where were we? Dazz: Me about to kick your ass. The Dude: You wouldn't beat up a guy who talks in pink words would you? Dazz: Damn, I guess if you put in that way, then no. I guess I wouldn't. Doozer: Alright, we aren't supposed to talk about that now. Let's get on to our next new member and hear what he has to say... Genecide: Well, since I was fired from the DWF, I kind of missed it. So, I want to come back. I figured I can get myself back in shape by joining this DARE Program so I did. Dream Wrestling Federation is not going to be ready for the new and improved Genecide. Doozer: Well isn't that cute... Now, on to our third and final new member of DTV and The DARE Program... The rookie, Wreck. Wreck: I would just like to say how happy I am to get into the Dream Wrestling Federation. I did not think that I could actually get in, but Yojin Musahiri did help me out a lot on the way. So, I thank you, Yojin, and you, Doozer, for accepting me so quickly into both of your careers and for accepting me into DTV and The DARE Program. Director: Uh oh, Doozer the scene is starting to get all screwed up. I say that you say whatever you want before we get taken off the air. Doozer: Alright, well I hope you three like it here on DTV and I hope I will get you all in shape and ready for whatever you wish to do in the future. Now, I would like to congratulate myself on winning my match on Sunday and becoming the number one contender to the Hardcore Title since nobody else congratulated me. Yojin Musahiri: Oh, by the way, congrats on the big win the other day. You really showed Jose Santiago who the man was. Then, getting Haiz with The Pesky Poll while you had Jose knocked out cold, magnificent.
