(As the credits for yet another great "Celebrity Death-Match" play, the voice of a MTV News Guy Reporter Thingy is heard.)

MTV News Guy Reporter Thingy: My name is Bert.

Bert: Thankyou and what a Celebrity Death-Match that was. Who would have thought that Dream Wrestling Superstar The Extremist would actually do what Doozer told him to do, which was rip off Darren's head and stick it so far up his ass that he has to cut holes in his nipples just to see!!! But now, we have yet another DTV mini-series ready for your veiwing entertainment... SO HERE IS THE THIRD EPISODE OF DOOZER TELEVISION!!!

("Ain't Nuthing but a G Thang" by Dr. Dre plays as clips from Doozer wrestling for DWF hit the screen.)

Director: Alright now guys, before we get on with "The Home of The Homies" I wanted to make sure that you all have your lines memorized because this is a live show. Actually, the only two people I am remotely worried about is The Dude and Dusty. So, you two think that you have your lines memorized.

The Dude: Got ya skippy.

Yojin Musahiri: Dude, you can't answer a question like the one he just asked with "Got ya skippy."

Dusty: Hey, if he can't then why did he? So, I am guessing that he might actually be able to since he did and he didn't get struck by lightening.

Yojin Musahiri: Oh, if that will prove you that he can't... *nods to something above the camera*

(Suddenly, a huge peice of metal shaped like a bolt of lightening and spray painted bright yellow is thrown down and strikes The Dude right in the head and knocks him out cold.)

Dusty: I'm convinced, but just one more thing *feels The Dude's forehead*. He is warm, not cold.

(Sorry, the damn lightening bolt look-a-like knocked The Dude out warm.)

Dusty: Thankyou, but no harsh words next time.

(F*ck Off.)

Dusty: Aaaaaaah

(Dusty runs away crying, well you can call it running but it is more like a clip from a football rush by a running back in very slow motion.)

Dusty: Oh, so why don't you just tell the whole world.

(You are the only one who can hear me or talk to me dummy.)

Dusty: No, everbody can.

(Yeah, well why is everybody else looking at you like you belong in the Mental House?)

The Dude: Because he does belong in the Mental House.

(Okay, a retard just proved me wrong. I hate this damn job.)

Doozer: Who the hell are you two retards talking to?

Dazz: Doozer, they might have an imaginary friend.

Doozer: Well, your imaginary friend is really f(censored)cked up.

(I heard that.)

Dusty: He heard that.

Doozer: Well, you can tell him that I don't care if he heard it. Hell, he can take the words I just said, write them down on a piece of paper... no, I'm not going to make him turn them sideways and stick them up his ass... no, he can take that peice of paper and give himself paper cuts with it...

Dazz: That was just gay.

Doozer: Fine, then he can... CHOKE ON THAT BABY!!! Yeah, dawg.

Dazz: No, not really, but good try though. Maybe next time...

Doozer: Hey, you remember that DTV is DOOZER Television. You signed the contract You are my bitch and I am your daddy... say it.

Dazz: I'm your bitch and you're my daddy.

Director: Alright, guys, ready or not "The Home of The Homies" has to go on the air...

("Rollin'" by Limp Bizkit plays as slides of Doozer wrestling, Dusty wrestling, Yojin wrestling, Dazz wrestling, The Dude wrestling, Wreck wrestling, and Genecide wrestling all hit the screen and the picture quickly turns to the show.)

Doozer: Hey yo, what's up everybody? The Dooze is in his house along with the rest of his homies. We are just chilling at the moment trying to find out something to do.

The Dude: Alright, is this when I say something?

Dazz: Yes, stupid.

The Dude: Well, you know what?

Dusty: What?

The Dude: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

Director: Ugh, guys just forget about the damn scripts. Obviously tweedle-dee adn tweedle-dum don't have enough brain cells in their favor to memorize lines with more than two words in them.

Doozer: Alright, so what do you guys want to do?

The Dude: CUT, I forgot what I was supposed to say.

Director: For one thing, moron, this is a live show. You can't do cuts in a live show. Secondly, we are not doing the scripts anymore. You don't have to remember any lines. Just act normal like it was a regular show.

The Dude: *whispering to Dusty* What do I say now?

Dusty: I don't know, I got confused right around where he called you a moron and then starting using big words.

The Dude: What big words did he use?

Dusty: Obviously...

The Dude: Obviously what?

Doozer: Obviously is the word you frigen retard. God your messed up.

Yojin Musahiri: Oh yeah, and when you whisper to people, you usually talk very quietly. You guys whisper just about as loud as Doozer's mom screaming my name in bed.

Doozer: Dude, you banged my mom?

Yojin Musahiri: Yeah, you got a problem with that?

Doozer: Hell no, I was just checking.

(They all have a good laugh. Well, except for Dusty and The Dude, both of which are trying to figure out what they were talking about.)

Dusty: Hey, I knew what they were talking about.

The Dude: You did? Tell me.

Dusty: Well... see... um... Yojin... and... uh... Doozer's mom were... um... kind of... wrestling, yeah that's it. Doozer's mom and Yojin were just wrestling. Then, Yojin banged Doozer's mom on the head or something... and... she screamed out Yojin's name.

The Dude: Oh, cool. Take that you, you voice thingy that speaks in orange words.

Doozer: What are you two retards talking about?

(The phone rings. Doozer picks it up, it is for him. As he talks on the phone, he turns on his playstation and starts playing Smackdown! 2 for Playstation. Dazz just sits down on the couch and watches him kick Kurt Angle's ass with his created wrestler, 'The Striking Lightning' Scott Lavigne. The Dude starts to go to the bathroom. As Yojin sees The Dude on his way to the bathroom, he smirks in that "I have a sweet idea for a good prank" way. Dusty just sits down and starts twidling his thumbs, while Genecide and Wreck start arm-wrestling. The camera focuses on Doozer and the coversation over the phone is heard.)

Thaila: So, what have you been doing with me gone lately?

Doozer: Having a sh(censored)t-load of fun, you?... Wait a minute, I just said the wrong thing didn't I?

Thaila: *sniffle* Yes...

Doozer: It's been horrible, my life went straight down the poop-shoot...

Thaila: Oh, how wonderfu... I mean, aw I guess you want me back?

Doozer: Damn it, I just lost to Kurt Angle!!! I had him beaten the whole match. I guess I can't talk and play games at the same time...

(Now, when a normal person would just turn off their game and talk to their girl, watch what Doozer does...)

Doozer: So, uh... bye. *click*

Dazz: That was a bit harsh, don't you think?

Doozer: Man, I was kicking Kurt's olympic ass until she started talking.

Dazz: Yeah, you got a point there, game on!!!

(Meanwhile, over to the bathroom, Yojin looks like he is ready to pull a prank on the unsuspecting and retarded Dusty. Dusty walks in the bathroom, but Yojin barges infront of him.)

Dusty: I really have to pee man.

Yojin Musahiri: Well, *uses his imitation of Fat Bastard's voice* I got a crap on board so big that it could choke a donkey. Yeah, I got a real turtle head poking out.

The Dude: A turtle head? Poking out of your ass? Big enough to choke a donkey? Man, this is a once in a lifetime thing, I got to see it.

Yojin Musahiri: It's a figure of speech man, it just means that I really have to take a crap.

(Dusty lets Yojin use the bathroom. While inside the bathroom, Yojin takes out a look-a-like peice of shit *Note: You can actually buy these at stores such as Spensor Gifts* Yojin takes the look-a-like peice of shit and places it beside the toilet, on the floor. Yojin flushes, washes his hands, and lets Dusty use the bathroom. Dusty walks in and gets ready to take a piss, but then...)

Dusty: Holy poop!!! Yojin, you missed the toilet!!!

(Laughter is heard all over the hallway. Even the two very serious arm-wrestlers, Genecide and Wreck, turn their head to see what is happening. After Yojin sits down and tells everybody what just happened, everybody starts laughing.)

Doozer: Oh man, that is the funniest thing ever.

(Just as the laughing, Dusty steps out of the bathroom with piss all over his pants and a read face. The laughter starts up again twice as loud this time. Dusty runs away and into the visitor room crying.)

Yojin Musahiri: Man, that was awesome.

Doozer: Yeah, that was like soda, pizza, sliced bread, and hot lesbian sex all rolled into one!!!

Yojin Musahiri: Um, Doozer I don’ t think it is correct to talk about your personal life experiences on the television.

Doozer: Hey, this is DTV, Doozer Television. It is about my life and if I want to talk about hot lesbian sex, then I will talk about hot lesbian sex and there is nothing that you or that crew worker over there, that is popping a boner over me talking about hot lesbian sex, can do about it.

Yojin Musahiri: Actually, I am your manager so you have to do what I tell you to do.

(Doozer and Yojin continue with their pointless argument for quite some time. While they are doing this, Dusty gets up just enough courage to come back out from his room. Everybody stops what they are doing and try desperately not to laugh.)

Dusty: Hi guys, what’s up?

Doozer: Nothing much… *snickers*… pissy pants.

Dazz: Yeah, same old, same old. What have you been doing in their? Shooting the sh(censored)t? Playing it cool? Maxing and relaxing? *snickers* Wetting your willy?

The Dude: Come on guys, that isn’t funny anymore. Let’s stop making fun of Dusty for a little bit and do some stuff.

Doozer: Well, we have pretty much ran out of time so I guess this is the end of… The Home of The Homies!!!

("Rollin" by Limp Bizkit plays as the credits for "The Home of The Homies" play.)

Director: And… cut. We are off the air. Now, that was a great show guys. It was filled with humor. Now, we did have one request for this series of DTV and since we are coming up short on ideas of things to do on "Boyz ‘N The Hood" so I said why not. This is going to be a Doozer Television special. Now, we just have to find a special name for "Boyz ‘N The Hood" that relates to Thanksgiving.

Doozer: Hey dawg, I got one. How about this… "Boyz On The Rock." You know because they landed on Plymouth Rock.

Yojin Musahiri: Somebody just got beaten by a creative stick.

Dusty: Who just got beat with what? I didn’t see nothing.

Dazz: It is just a saying Dusty, it doesn’t mean that somebody actually took a stick with the word "Creative" on it and beat Doozer over the head. It is just a saying.

Dusty: Oh, alright…

Genecide: Man, he still doesn’t get it. I do not think that I have ever met anybody other than The Dude that is as stupid as Dusty.

Doozer: That is the only reason why we let him stay with us. We are the only show that truly has a retard on the cast.

Dusty: Oh, I am not only on the cast, I’m a co-star.

Yojin Musahiri: Wow, signs of intelligent life are found.

Dusty: Where?

Yojin Musahiri: Never mind stupid, I just said it because you actually said something that sounded half-smart for a second there.

Director: Well we are almost ready for "Boyz On The Rock." You guys ready?

Everybody in unison: Yeah.

Director: Then let’s get in the limousine and on our way for a Thanksgiving special.

(Doozer, Dusty, The Dude, Yojin Musahiri, Dazz, Wreck, Genecide, The Director, and the rest of the crew all get into the limousine. Doozer tells the limousine driver to head for Plymouth Rock.)

Doozer: So, is this supposed to be an educational program or something?

Director: Yeah, but don’t worry. The Home of The Homies took up one hour and a half of the three show, three hour series so this show will only be a half an hour. This way we will have one hour of Talkin’ Shit. We need an hour for that show because you will cut your promo while the rest of us will go and do something else that relates to talking. I don’t know what but we will find out something to do.

Yojin Musahiri: Oh, well aren’t we special. No, actually I’m not because I am going down to the ring with Doozer.

The Dude: Yeah, and I’m not either because I am going to the bathroom.

Director: For one whole hour.

The Dude: Oh hell yeah.

Doozer: I think the next whole show of DTV will be a DTV Unsolved Mysteries Episode because we have some unsolved mysteries. I mean, Dusty and The Dude have an imaginary friend that they insist is real. The Dude takes one whole hour in the bathroom. Yojin is unusually evil. Wreck doesn’t like hot lesbian sex. The list goes on and on. I, myself will be dedicated to solving each of these mysteries in the next and fourth series of DTV!!!

(The limousine finally arrives at Plymouth Rock. Doozer, The Dude, Dusty, Yojin Musahiri, The Dude, Dazz, Wreck, Genecide, The Director, and the rest of the crew all hop out of the limousine and get ready to shoot "Boyz On The Rock." Then, "Boyz ‘N The Hood" by Dynamite Hack plays as clips from Doozer, The Dude, Dusty, Mike Robinson, and Yojin Musahiri are shown doing what they always used to do, raise hell on the streets. Then, the scene quickly switches over to "Boyz On The Rock.")

Doozer: Hey my boys, this is the whole gang out here chilling. Yeah, today the usual "Boyz ‘N The Hood" is going to become "Boyz On The Rock." Most of you are going to do just what I would do if I were you and that is puke when I tell you this. This is going to be an educational show about Thanksgiving.
So, sit back
kick back
and don’t ever talk back
cause I’m in your neighborhood
And I’m gonna attack

Oops, I just started rapping. Onto the short, but educational show.

Yojin Musahiri: See, on Thanksgiving you have make sure that you thank everybody. So, the first thing we are going to do is exchange gifts and thank each other.

(Yojin and Dazz pair up. Doozer and Dusty pair up. The Dude and Wreck pair up. Genecide and The Director pair up.)

Doozer: Now this is when we all exchange gifts and thank each other for them.

(The first pair that the scene focuses on is Doozer and Dusty.)

Doozer: Dusty, I got you something special.

Dusty: Oh, you shouldn’t have.

Doozer: Fine then, I won’t.

Dusty: No, you should. Really, you should.

Doozer: Are you sure you want my great present? This present is going to make you happier than a Homo in a boyscout camp.

Dusty: Give it to me…

(Doozer turns around and picks up a bag of something. Then, he turns around and throws dog crap on Dusty’s head, just like he did at Disney World *Note: You have to read Dusty’s Role-play to know.*)

Doozer: Now this is when you thank me.

Doozer: Thank you, Doozer.

Doozer: Oh, the pleasure was all mine.

Dusty: I bet it was.

Doozer: Now it is turn for your present.

Dusty: Actually, you notice how happy you are? Well, that was my present. I knew you were going to do that and I let you because it would make you happy.

Yojin Musahiri: Awww, now that is a Kodak moment. That is what Thanksgiving is truly about folks.

Doozer: Thank you, Dusty.

Dazz: Now, the next thing important about Thanksgiving is being with family. We are just a big family here at DTV.

(Everybody hugs everybody else. Well, except for the last two that go to hug. The only person who Wreck had not hugged was Doozer. Doozer and Wreck hugged. Suddenly, Doozer jumped back.)

Doozer: Oh my god, I just got poked with something while you were hugging me. Gross, gross, gross, gross, gross. I am going to puke.

Wreck: Dude, it was just the lead pipe that I have in my pocket. Man, calm down I am not gay.

Doozer: See, folks, now he is in denial. The old, "It was just a lead pipe in my pocket" saying.

Dusty: I’m gay, where have I heard those words like that?

Doozer: Oh, that is probably what girls say to you when you try to kiss them or ask them out, but in Wreck’s case I think that it is actually true.

Yojin Musahiri: Man, we have to have a DTV show dedicated to slams and jokes and pranks and things like that. I guess that will have to be the fifth episode of DTV.

Director: Guys, out of time…

Doozer: Well people, I hope you all stay tuned to watch "Talkin’ Shit" which is up next on Doozer Television.

Director: And we are off the air. That was a great show… It could have used some help on the educational part, but I think you touched a lot of people out there especially that part when Dusty let Doozer put crap on his head just to make him happy.

Doozer: Yeah, that was great. Now, let’s get over to the arena.

(Doozer, Dusty, The Dude, Yojin Musahiri, Dazz, Genecide, Wreck, The Director, and the crew all hop into the limousine. Doozer tells the limousine driver to head towards the arena and they get on their way. As the credits for "Boyz On The Rock" get done, "Certified Bomb" by Cypress Hill plays as clips of Doozer cutting some of his best promos and talking some of his best shit play. Then, the scene turns to Doozer and the gang hopping out of the limousine and entering the limousine.)

Doozer: What’s up my home dawgs at home? This is Doozer and his gang at their very own Dream Wrestling Federation arena. This is the same arena in which I will take away The Big Shot’s Hardcore Title because I am just that damn Hardcore. I am Extreme to the maximum. I will do anything and everything to get that Hardcore Title because I want it and I get what I want, when I want.

The Dude: And on a less serious note, I am The Dude and I’m going to spend a full hour in the bathroom.

Dusty: You are just a silly goose duck head.

Yojin Musahiri: Is that possible? A goose and a duck are two different animals, how can one person be the head of both?

Dusty: I’m retarded?

Dazz: That explains it.

Dusty: Being retarded isn’t all that bad, it is a good excuse to get you out of a lot of things, including murder and stuff like that. I love being retarded, la de dab de neigh.

Doozer: What kind of a tune was that?

Dusty: I’m retarded?

Doozer: That explains it.

(The Dude walks over to the bathroom. Dusty walks with The Director, Dazz, Genecide, and Wreck, and the crew. Doozer and Yojin head towards the gorilla position. Then, "Ain’t Nuthing but a G Thang" by Dr. Dre plays as Doozer and Yojin Musahiri make there way down to the ring. Yojin is wearing jeans with a "Bad Asses In Black" embroidered leather jacket on in memory of his tag team partnership with Doozer. Doozer is wearing a Nomar Garciaparra Jersey and an official Boston Red Sox hat. Under his Jersey is a T-shirt labeled "I’m Down with Dre." As Yojin and Doozer get into the ring, the words "Red Sox Rule" appear on the mat. As Doozer turns his hat backwards, red fireworks blast out of each turnbuckle. Each of them grab a mic.)

Doozer: The Dooze is in the house and he’s ready to DO some DAMAGE and RAISE some HELL. Yeah, that’s right… you’re looking at The Innovation of Devastation, The Master of Disaster, The Ruler of The Ring, The King of Kablam, The Sultan of Slam, The Dictator of DDTs, The Potentate of Piledrivers, The Guru of Grappling, The Tyrant of Tag Teams, The Titan of Talking Trash, The Man, The Myth, The Legend, The One, The Only, The Perfectly Great… THE DOOZE!!!

Yojin Musahiri: And I am Yojin Musahiri…

Pat Riot: Well, Yojin certainly make a short introduction of himself.

Johnny D: Compared to Doozer’s definition of introduction, that wasn’t even close to anything. See, Yojin just isn’t proud of himself to the same level that Doozer is.

Pat Riot: Oh, I’m sure Yojin is proud of himself, he just isn’t cocky or if you are a Doozer fan, you might like the words over confident.

Doozer: Now, this upcoming Doom Fights is going to be great. I can just feel it now. I mean, I am more excited than a Homo in a boyscout camp over this upcoming pay-per-view. Fans, you are certain to get your moneys worth. I mean, Doozer getting his Hardcore Title match, that is a must-see. Almost as big of a must-see as DTV is. Anyway, you all know that Doozer doesn’t follow any rules. So, you all know that The Hardcore Title is a title that was not made for Mankind way back in the WWF, they were thinking of the DWF and especially Doozer. And now, after being number one contender for over a month, I get my Hardcore Title shot. And, I have some what of an advantage, I have not fought in a while, but has Big Shot fought? No, he hasn’t so strike that advantage thought. We have had an equal amount of rest and this is just going to be a great match. You are going to see The Big Shot’s blood here an there. You are going to see The Big Shot’s sweat here and there. Hell you are going to see my blood here and there because if The Big Shot doesn’t draw blood on my, I will damn it. You are going to see my sweat here and there. You are going to see my foot up The Big Shot’s ass. You are going to see The Big Shot’s left nut be popped. I mean, you folks are going to see everything and Doozer is going to give you one hell of a show without a doubt.

Yojin Musahiri: Yes, I am so confident in my wrestler that I have placed many wagers… *spots a cop* I mean, I have had to turn down many wagers on this match that I would have loved to accept. I am almost as confident in Doozer’s win over The Big Shot as The Dooze is himself and you know that is pretty damn confident.

Pat Riot: He can say that again.

Johnny D: Well, I can’t wait to see Doom Fights. It is truly going to be a great pay-per-view. With Doozer or without him, it will be great.

Pat Riot: I think that this Hardcore Match will easily be one of the better matches of the night. It is not going to be the best, but definitely one of the better ones.

Doozer: Now, I am sorry to all my fans who were hoping to hear me rap tonight, but I just can’t. I am running low on time. I really have to get going. So, to all those red sox fans out there… KEEP COOL and Keep Kicking Ass. ‘Cause winning isn’t everything, but losing SUCKS ASS!!!

Yojin Musahiri: Your next Hardcore Champion ladies and gentlemen.

("Ain’t Nuthing but a G Thang" by Dr. Dre plays as Doozer and Yojin Musahiri walk backstage leaving a sold out crowd on its feet. As they get backstage, they encounter the rest of the gang.)

Doozer: What’s up? What did you guys do while we were down there?

Dusty: We played, "Who Said That?" It was pretty not fun.

Yojin Musahiri: Is that all you guys did?

Dazz: No, actually we sat down and watched your promo, Doozer. It was pretty good if I do say so myself.

Director: Well, guys, we are just about out of time for today. We actually got done all three shows in the mini-series DTV in one day, usually something happens or we get thrown of the air, but not this time!!!

ON