(As the credits for a great "Celebrity Death-Match" play really, really fast as the names of all the "guys behind the screen" hit the television screen, the deep, somber voice of that MTV Desk Man Person Guy Thing that you all love to hear is heard.)

Bert: Wow, now that was one hell of a Celebrity Death-Match if I do say so myself and I think I did so… right… Anyway, next up we have another episode of Doozer Television. Last time on Doozer Television we saw the Daring Detector of Lies reveal that Wreck isn’t gay, but Doozer claimed the I quote, "Damn machine isn’t working." It also revealed that Wreck’s mom has a "thing" for Doozer… Then, we saw Doozer, Yojin Musahiri, Mike Robinson, Extremist, Dusty, and Wreck take part in a Prank Day. Dusty and Wreck won with their nasty prank, let’s take you back to that very prank… and the whole damn "Boyz ‘N The Hood" Prank Day…

(A video of the last episode of "Boyz ‘N The Hood" is shown…)

THE VIDEO FROM THE LAST EPISODE OF "BOYZ ‘N THE HOOD."

(Doozer quietly taps on the window separating him from the limousine driver. The limousine driver doesn't even turn around. Doozer gets impatient and knocks on the window will full force shattering it... The young, pimple infested face of the limousine driver looks back with a "scared" look in his eye. Doozer sharply tells the limousine driver to head for the down town area of the city so that his friends and he can do whatever they want from there. After five long minutes, the limousine slowly pulls up on the side of a pothole infested, garbage littered sidewalk. The very scrawny, short, girl-like guy of a limousine driver quickly runs over to Doozer's door. He opens it letting Doozer, Dusty, Yojin Musahiri, Mike Robinson, Wreck, and Extremist all hop out of the limousine. Then, "Boyz ‘N The Hood" by Dynamite Hack plays as past clips of "Boyz ‘N The Hood" shows are shown, then the scene flips back to…)

Doozer: Hey everyone, this is Doozer along with Dusty, Extremist, Yojin Musahiri, Mike Robinson, and Wreck. We are grouped into three groups of two people each. Extremist and myself are in one group. Dusty and Wreck are the other. And lastly, Yojin Musahiri and Mike Robinson are the third and final group. Now, there will be three different cameras that show what each one of us are doing, but you won’t be able to see the actual prank they pull until we all come back and tell each other.

Mike Robinson: Well, let’s get on our way…

(Camera #1: We are tracing the graceful, nonchalant footsteps of Doozer and Extremist… Doozer and Extremist casually stroll into a department store filled with rows and rows of different foods and accessories all neatly stacked up on shelves. After a couple of minutes of looking around and finding nothing but useless garbage, the salesperson who has hair as if he is applying to an Albert Einstein look-a-like contest finally catches up with the two men, Doozer and Extremist. The very slick salesman talks Extremist into buying a voice changer that has chipped paint and sticky buttons. He then casually talks Doozer buys a mask, which was allegedly worn by the bad guy from all three of the "Scream" movies…)

(Camera #2: We have our eye on the two wrestlers who get along just about as much as ice cream and a cold day… Yojin and Mike , who are trying to beat each other in a race, quickly run into a store. The store looks very nice. It is warm and cozy inside. The clerk has a wide smile with all of his white teeth showing. The nicely dressed clerk, nods to Yojin and Mike as they gawk at all of the nice accessories such as twenty-four Carrot gold watches, and necklaces, and bracelets and everything!!! There is even an elevator which takes you to a floor full of every candy that you can think of. Well, let’s listen up about what Mike Robinson and Yojin Musahiri are saying…)

Yojin Musahiri: I say we buy a gold-plated knife and some golden tweezers…

Mike Robinson: No you damn physco, we are going to get a golden nine iron and some gold ice.

Yojin Musahiri: Gold ice? Anyway, I was Doozer’s favorite tag team partner back in the day, so you listen to what I have to say.

Mike Robinson: Who won the tag team championships with him?

Yojin Musahiri: Well, who is managing him right now? Yeah, he is the Hardcore Champion and who has been managing him?

(Camera #2: Looks like Yojin and Mike are back to old ways, arguing about who the better tag team partner was.)

(Camera #3: We are tagging along with the Dusty and Wreck… They go into a Shop 'n Save which is looking rather scraggily. It has cobwebs on the ceiling and brownish-white paint. The tiles on the floor are also peeling off. Well, let's see what they have to say…)

Wreck: All we have to get is just one hot dog.

Dusty: Why?

Wreck: It will be an awesome prank that includes lots of free beer!!!

Dusty: Only Zima for me, though.

Wreck: Yeah, whatever…

(After what seems to be a quick fifteen or twenty minutes, all three groups slowly, but surely make their way back to the shiny, black limousine. Doozer and Extremist walk in, laughing and slapping hands… Dusty and Wreck are wobbling back and forth like an old drunk. Yojin and Mike are still arguing quite fiercely.)

Doozer: So, Yojin… Mike… what did you two guys do?

Mike Robinson: Oh man, our prank was the bomb. I mean, you guys aren’t going to be able to top this…

Yojin Musahiri: What he means is that we didn’t do one. We couldn’t agree on anything to buy…

Doozer: Okay, so Dusty… Wreck… what did you two guys do?

Dusty: Well, we bought a hot dog right… So, after drinking some beers and Zima, the guy who ask us to pay him money. That is when I took out the hot dog and put it up through my pant zipper and Wreck started sucking on the hot dog!!! We got six different bars that way and…

Wreck: Yeah, it was awesome… so much beer for free!!!

Dusty: I was going to say, and… I kind of… um… lost the hot dog after the fourth bar.

Doozer: Oh my god, that’s the sickest thing I’ve ever heard!!! Haha, Wreck you are gay to the maximum!!!

Extremist: Wreck, I guess it is true… You suck d(censored)ck!!!

Wreck: Dusty, I would kill you if you weren’t such a retard.

Yojin Musahiri: Anyway, getting off that subject, what did you two Princes of Pranks do?

Doozer: Well, Extremist grabbed a voice changer to make his voice seem like the one that guy with the white mask on in the movie Scream!!! Then, he lured some guy to a bush in front of a fence and then I jumped out with a Scream mask on and scared the old bastard into a heart attack!!! Oh, it was a hoot.

Extremist: Yeah, but I have to give my vote to Wreck and Dusty!!!

Mike Robinson: Yeah, those two definitely deserved it… I mean, Wreck actually sucked d(censored)ck for free beer!!!

Director: Wrap it up, Doozer…

Doozer: Alright, I am Doozer and this is the end of "Boyz ‘N The Hood." See you next time and stay tuned to watch a special news bulletin of "Talkin’ Shit."

END OF VIDEO!!!

Bert: Wow, that took up a lot of time… Coming up on Doozer Television… As part of "The Home of The Homies", The Daring Detector of Lies is at it again testing… Mike Robinson… But, this will be an extra long "Home of The Homies." So, there will not be any "Boyz ‘N The Hood" for today or "Talkin’ Shit." Well, here his… D-T-V!!!

("Rollin’" by Limp Bizkit suddenly blasts over the Television and clips of Doozer loosing to Cro, Dusty loosing to Mike Extreme, and Kinch defeating Jason Brawler to become the number one contender to the Dream Title all slide off and on the screen faster than you can say, "Doozer is the greatest of all time." Doozer then thanks you politely for the compliment. Finally, the scene slowly fades off to Doozer's large, white, clean, and fancy house. Inside the house are great works of art standing on glowing, white pillars and surrounded by clean glass. There is bright orange carpeting with the words "Hardcore Champ" embroidered in black on the bright orange carpet. where the Director is involved in a casual conversation with the big Doozer Television cast...)

Director: Alright, guys, we have a great show in the making... The only slight draw-back will be the loss of "Boyz ‘N The Hood" and "Talkin' Shit." See, that damn Bert took up so much time playing a re-run of the last episode of "Boyz 'N The Hood" we will just not have the time for "Talkin' Shit" or "Boyz ‘N The Hood" for today.

Doozer: Hey, that's alright with me. I don't mind doing a little DARE then calling it a day.

Dusty: Yeah, we don’t do anything at all during Doozer’s promo so it doesn’t hurt my feelings any.

Director: Do the rest of you feel that way?

(Within a blink of an eye, everybody shoots up their arms to Doozer’s disappointment.)

Doozer: I’m happy you all like my promos…

Director: Stop crying, it’s a unanimous decision. Now, you all hopefully did get a plan last night of what would happen at today’s show so that you can prepare yourselves. We want to make this a great show.

The Dude: Oh, that is what I used to start the fire.

Doozer: Dude, you don’t know how to read anyway, so it doesn’t matter if you burned it or not.

Director: Alright guys, get ready…

(Suddenly, "Ain’t Nothing but a G Thing" by Dr. Dre plays as past clips of "The Home of The Homies" slide on and off the screen rather quickly. Then, the scene quickly fades to…)

Doozer: Hey everybody. This is Doozer, your very own Truly Electric Hardcore Champion and this is "The Home of The Homies." Today, we are going to continue with the Daring Detector of Lies and check out good old Mike Robinson…

Mike Robinson: But what if the Daring Detector of Lies is still broken?

Yojin Musahiri: Aw, poor Mike scared that it is going to reveal a very sick truth about you?

Mike Robinson: Who was the better tag team partner?

Dusty: Come on, you are going in son.

Doozer: Dusty, when did I die and name you leader?

The Dude: You died… *sniffle* and I never got to say goodbye… Wait just a minute… if you are gone… and I am talking to you… then why are you there… and I… oh my god, I’ve gone cross-eyed.

Doozer: Dude, not only was that just completely retarded, but everybody is now dumber for hearing that. Now, Mike Robinson, you my man go into that room there *points to the room where the Daring Detector of Lies is being held* … And you get examined by myself and that guy there *points to Extremist* … and him *points to Hardcore Kinch* …

(Doozer, Hardcore Kinch, and Extremist all escort Mike Robinson in an orderly fashion. Then, the reach the room. It is a small room, just square with padded walls and one seat right in the middle of the room. Attached to that seat is something metal that goes over the head and that is connected to the Daring Detector of Lies. Mike Robinson sits down in the cold, metal chair and quivers. Then, Doozer and Extremist quickly strap him into the seat and they start…)

Doozer: So, Mike Robinson… why did you leave me? You left me with both of the Tag Team Titles by myself…

Mike Robinson: I thought you were too good for me. It seemed to me like I was not needed so I left.

Doozer: Good enough answer for me.

Extremist: I am going to check out the Daring Detector of Lies… *Extremist reads what the Daring Detector of Lies has to say* … "You might have believed, but you were deceived."

Mike Robinson: Um, I think the…

Doozer: The damn Daring Detector of Lies is broken again. I hate it when it breaks down like that. Man, that pisses me off.

Hardcore Kinch: Are you sure it is broken? I mean, it rhymed like it usually does.

Doozer: Listen you Canadian pee-on, the damn machine is broken.

Extremist: Oh god, not anymore arguing out of either of you.

(Doozer and Hardcore Kinch hang their head as if they had been scolded by a parent. Then, Extremist takes off all of the straps on Mike Robinson. They all leave the small, square room and enter into Doozer’s living room. Suddenly, a smile comes to Doozer’s face, he remembered something really important.)

Doozer: Guys, I forgot to tell you this… I DID A COMMERCIAL!!!

Yojin Musahiri: Yeah, and I DID CARMEN ELECTRA!!!

Doozer: No, I’m serious. What time is it?

Yojin Musahiri: I’m serious too, she gave me her phone number, then I got her really drunk. Well, you can picture what happened after that…

Dusty: Doozer, I got a watch…

Doozer: And?

Dusty: What? I got a watch, that’s it. I’m not sure how to read this thing yet, but I’ll learn.

(Extremist walks up to Dusty and checks out his watch. It has all kinds of little buttons on it with glittery gold colors and such. Then, Extremist sees where it tells the time…)

Extremist: Uh, Dusty… this watch is digital… Right now, it is a quarter past ten.

Doozer: Sweet, they said they would air the commercial right around then… We got to watch it man, they let me choose what I wanted to say and everything…

Dusty: I thought you had to read off some weird board…

Doozer: Yeah, but I threatened to beat the director up, so he let me make my own sh(censored)t up.

(Everybody decides to humor Doozer, so they sit down on a big, green couch that feels like it has feathers in it. Doozer sits down in his blue Lazy Boy right next to the couch. Doozer grabs the remote control fiercely from Dusty, who starts crying. Doozer then turns the channel to MTV…)

The Dude: Man, we are on TV!!! This is awesome.

Doozer: *in a rather angry voice* Dude, what the hell do you think those guys over there are doing? *he points to the crew of film makers*

Dusty: Come on Doozer, you know The Dude isn’t good a trick questions.

Doozer: Usually, I’d be mad… But commercials are on right now!!!

Yojin Musahiri: Isn’t that what usually makes people mad?

Doozer: No, you are what make people mad damn it, now shut up!!!

(Suddenly, the words "Old Spice Deodorant" flash on the red Television screen. Then, the scene switches over to Doozer standing on the lawn of a big, beautiful, white house. Doozer is standing there with his baggy pants and "Extreme Cruelty" T-shirt on and his Hardcore Title draped over his shoulder. In his hand is a red stick of "Old Spice" deodorant.)

Doozer: *the one on the commercial* Hello, I am Doozer. You should all know me and if you don’t, we don’t want you buying our damn deodorant. Anyway, when I go down to the ring, I am not a "Nasty Boy." I do not try to gross out my opponents by sticking their head into my smelly armpits. That is why I use Old Spice Deodorant. See, a wise man once said, "Opinions are like armpits, and they all stink." Well, you want your opinion to smell good? Just wipe this good sh(censored)t under your arms and everybody will be listening to YOUR opinion. Like I always say… It is alright if you are an ass-hole, but it isn’t if you smell like one!!!

(Then the words, "This has been a message from your Dream Wrestling Hardcore Champion…" And the scene slowly cuts off into a Rogaine Commercial, which Doozer turns off without any hesitation.)

Director: Doozer, you are running out of time man. I suggest you wrap things up.

Doozer: Alright, now I got to say a little something about my match. I face Mike Extreme for my Hardcore Title this Sunday. Well, Mike Extreme is a nobody compared to The Dooze. Who does he think he is? He’s not going to win my Hardcore Title. See, The Red Sox have a green monster. And well, theirs might stop home runs… BUT I’M GONNA STOP MIKE’S WINNING STREAK!!!

And well, I’m out of time… Even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t waste any more words out of my mouth on some loser like Mike Extreme.

Mike Robinson: Yeah Mike, there is only room for one Mike in the Dream Wrestling Federation and that Mike is me. So, after Doozer humiliates your ass, you might as well just leave.

Doozer: Yeah, and this is The Dooze and this is the end of Doozer Television for tonight, folks. Just keep cool, keep kicking ass, and always cover up your ass when Mike Extreme is walking behind you… See ya…

("Rollin’" by Limp Bizkit hits the sound system as Doozer Television slowly fades away to…)

ON